Hey guys, I hope you like this one shot. During writing and posting the 47 chapters that I posted on the 5th and the 6th of October 2017 I came up with a couple of one shots that I also wanted to add to my page. However this does come at a risk of making you wait on the stories that I have already posted and I apologise for that now. Anyway let's jump straight into this, this was something that I would have loved to see more of in D2. Much love, RSD xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo.
*Mal's POV*
As I walked into Auradon Prep grounds I was happy to see the dorm buildings; at the minute I was trying to hold myself together. I have just had an argument with Ben and all I wanted to do right now was to get my dorm quickly so I could break down. I knew that me and Ben would fix things later but it still hurt and felt so raw to me; Ben was the last person that I wanted to lose or argue with. He meant so much to me and since my royal cotillion I knew how it felt to lose Ben and I never wanted this to happen ever again. The argument with Ben before I left for the Isle was playing in my mind and to be honest it was scaring me; yes I knew it wasn't going to have the same outcome. I didn't want to go back to the Isle; but I had the same guilty and heavy heart and stomach thing going on.
I know that Ben didn't mean to push me or snap at me; he has been so stressed recently. It was just that since cotillion I thought that we would be able to see each other a little bit more but rather than us seeing more of each other we have actually seen each other less! I know and I fully appreciate that he is the King of Auradon and I don't expect to see him every day; I just wish that I didn't feel like I needed to make an appointment to see my own boyfriend.
I was then hit with a sudden wave of guilt; yes I was Ben's girlfriend and his lady of the court but I felt guilty asking for more time with him. He had me, school and his royal commitments to juggle and I didn't want to add any additional pressure to him. I really valued the time that I spent with Ben; but I couldn't help but want more.
"Mal" I heard a voice say as I quickly walked past a group of people.
"Mal wait up" I heard them say as I continued to walk towards my dorm building.
"Leave it Jay" I whined as I crossed my arms over my chest.
"Hey" he said as he quickly jumped in front of me.
"I won't leave it" he stated and when I looked up at him I noted that he had a concerned look on his face.
"What's wrong?" he asked.
"Nothing" I stated as I looked down at the ground. I started to feel a lump start to build in my throat and I knew that I wasn't going to last much longer.
"Mal look at me" he urged and I slowly looked at him but when my eyes met him I quickly dropped my gaze to the floor.
"It's nothing Jay leave it" I said as I tightened my arms around me.
"No I won't" he urged.
"Mal look at me" he repeated which made me look up at him however this time I kept my gaze on his.
"What's wrong?" he said sternly and I pursed my lips together.
"And don't tell me nothing Mal you are crying; you don't cry unless there is a good reason" he stated and I bit down on to my bottom lip. Evie, Jay and Carlos all knew how to get to me; they also knew that I couldn't lie to them. I opened to mouth to say something but then I looked around and noticed that the courtyard around us was starting to get busy. I noted that Jay also noticed this as well as he quickly looked around us.
"Come on, let's go to my dorm room. It's closer" he advised.
"Ok" I nodded and me and Jay started to walk towards the dorm buildings; just before we got into the buildings Jay threw his arm around my shoulders and he guided me towards his dorm.
"So?" Jay said as he shut his dorm door behind us.
"What's up?" he questioned.
"Jay really?" I asked incredulously.
"Yes Mal" he stated as he turned to look at me.
"Really" he said sternly and we both stared at each other for a few seconds. I then sighed and then nodded at him; I knew that he was trying to help me as he didn't like seeing me upset - as if the roles were reversed I would be the same.
"Promise what I say stays in here?" I asked as I slowly turned and sat down on Jay's bed.
"Promise" he promised sincerely as he sat down next to me on his bed.
"You know you can trust me" he stated as my eyes started to water.
"I know I can" I replied as I smiled meekly at Jay.
"So?" he prompted.
"I have just had an argument with Ben" I confessed as I wiped my nose.
"Ok" he answered.
"Why?" he questioned.
"Conflict of differences I guess" I stated as I looked down at the floor as I tried to concentrate on not letting the lump form a permanent fixture in my throat.
"You are going to have to give me more than that so I can help you" he said which caused me to look at Jay and when I watched him smile at me I smiled and nodded at him.
"Well since cotillion Ben promised that-" I started.
"Promised that?" he prompted.
"He would make more time for us" I stated.
"I know it probably seems stupid; me demanding more time with him" I continued as I looked back down at the floor. I started to feel a little bit bad for telling Jay mine and Ben's problems but I know that I could trust him with what was going on.
"But it seems to just have gone to the way it was before; me barely seeing him-" I started again.
"I feel selfish" I admitted.
"Why?" he asked as he slid his hands into mine.
"Because I want more time with him; I feel guilty for taking the King from his kingdom. But I am his girlfriend and I need time with him too" I finished as I looked up at him and I squeezed both of his hands.
"Am I being unreasonable?" I wondered out loud.
"No" he replied with a small smile.
"No you're not" he added.
"I can see it from both points of view" he stated.
"So what actually happened today?" he asked.
"I went to see him and he was really stressed; we hugged-" I started to explain and I was hit with a wave of emotion as the memory of my argument with Ben started to play in my mind.
"I then asked when I could next see him properly and he sighed and he told me that he didn't know" I continued.
"Right?" Jay prompted and I wiped my eyes with my right hand before I slid my hand back into his.
"I sighed and he asked me why I sighed and things just slowly escalated into a full blown argument" I said as I pursed my lips together.
"How?" he asked.
"Well I wouldn't tell him why because I didn't want to upset him but this seemed to upset him anyway" I advised sadly as I remembered me and Ben arguing; my eyes started to water as I remembered storming out of Ben's office.
"Come here" Jay said and he pulled me into a hug.
"What am I going to do Jay?" I asked against his shoulder.
"I just want to be perfect for Ben" I said.
"You are" he stated happily as he started to stroke the top of my back in an attempt to soothe me.
"Well why can't I be happy with the time that I have with him? Why can't that be enough?" I asked panic stricken. Why couldn't I just be happy with the very limited time that I have with Ben? It made me feel so selfish and guilty that I want more time with him; I felt so conflicted. Ben was my first boyfriend and I still felt like there are times when I didn't know how to react. And I didn't want my uncertainty to ruin my relationship with Ben.
"Mal listen to me" I heard Jay say so I looked up at him as he pulled away.
"You and Ben need to find balance that's all" he started.
"You shouldn't feel guilty for wanting to spend time with him; you love him. He is the first person apart from me, Evie and Carlos that you have opened up to and trusted. That was a big deal for you; yes there are still parts that both of us don't understand about love and relationships but we will get better at it" he explained.
"But at the same time you need to remember that Ben does loves you; and you know that he wants to spend more time with you but it is hard because of his work" he stated.
"He's mentioned to me how much he misses you when he can't see you" he finished.
"Really?" I asked incredulously. Ben has really said that to Jay? I felt a warm feeling in my stomach at the sound of this. I started to feel stupid that I doubted this for a second of course I knew that Ben wanted to see more of me. But I couldn't lie and say that it didn't make me feel little bit giddy that Ben had told Jay this.
"Yes really" Jay laughed.
"Mal you are his whole world; yes he might not have the time to show you this" he explained.
"But believe me when I say that boy is crazy about you" he said lovingly.
"So maybe lay off him a little bit?" he suggested.
"Thanks Jay" I replied happily.
"You're welcome" he replied.
"You're right; me and Ben need to talk about things. We both need to learn each other's limits and expectations" I stated. Jay was right; me and Ben needed to communicate more with each other. The fact that we didn't communicate (or should I say I didn't communicate) caused the whole mess around the royal cotillion; and we needed to make sure that we didn't get to those extremes again. Of course I knew this time I wasn't going to go back to the Isle but I wanted to make sure that me or Ben weren't put into a position where we could nearly loose each other again either.
"Yeah" he confirmed. I smiled at Jay and I watched as he smiled at me; I loved the change in Jay since cotillion. He seemed happier and that is all that I wanted for him.
"Lonnie is definitely having a good influence over you" I teased as I playfully shoved him.
"Both as your girlfriend and your captain" I laughed. After my induction as Lady of the Court Jay took me to one side; and he told me that he had asked Lonnie to be his girlfriend and that she said yes. I was really happy for Jay; like I was happy for Carlos and Jane and Evie and Doug. All I wanted for my family was for them to be happy; I knew that all of us never thought that this would happen to us. It still astounded us all that it had!
"She makes me see the world differently, makes me feel things that I have never felt before" he advised.
"I know that feeling" I smiled as my mind went onto my perfect Beast. However when my mind went on to Ben our argument came to the forefront of my mind and I pursed my lips together.
"Anyway-" I started as I snapped myself out of my daydream.
"I better go back to my dorm; I'll have to ring Ben in a little bit to sort this all out" I advised.
"Ok" he replied.
"Come here Sis" Jay said happily before he pulled me into another hug.
"You know where I am if you need me" he reminded me.
"Back at you bro" I replied over his shoulder.
"I'll see you later" I advised as I pulled away and smiled at Jay.
"See you" he replied as I got up and started to walk towards his dorm door. I went to open the door but instead it opened in front of me and I watched as Carlos walked into the room, carrying Doug.
"Oh Hi Mal" Carlos said happily after his eyes landed on me as he closed the door after him.
"Is everything ok?" he asked slowly and I watched as his eyes roamed my teary and probably puffy and red eyed face.
"Yeah I just needed to speak to Jay about something" I advised.
"Everything good?" he questioned as he pulled one brow up at me.
"Everything good" I confirmed.
"Ain't it Jay?" I said as I turned and looked at him.
"Of course" he said with a warm smile.
"I better go; I have something to go and do" I advised as I nodded towards the door.
"See you both" I said as I opened the door.
"See you Mal" Doug said happily as he started to wag his tail happily.
"Bye trouble" I laughed as I quickly stroked his head.
"Bye" I said as I looked at both Carlos and Jay.
"Bye Mal" they chorused and I smiled at them before I left their dorm and started to walk towards mine. I knew that Jay was right - me and Ben were going to be able to fix things. We were just going to have to talk and find the right balance; even though it was going to be an awkward conversation.
"Ben?" I asked confused as I noticed that Ben was currently stood outside of my dorm room.
"Mal" he said and I noted that as he turned to look at me worry and concern was in his eyes.
"I am so sorry" he said sadly as I stood in front of him.
"So am I" I advised sadly.
"Let's speak in my dorm; people are listening" I suggested as I saw that Audrey was stood in the corridor and she was inching closer to us - no doubt trying to hear what was wrong.
"Ok" Ben replied as I opened my dorm door and we quickly closed the door behind us. I hated the fact that every time me and Ben had an argument everyone would want to know everything about it. Especially Audrey – she really relished in it. But I had my own theories for her motives; but now wasn't a time to dwell on Audrey. Now was a time to try and sort things out with Ben; I needed too! I didn't want to lose him again – especially over something silly like this.
After I had locked my dorm door behind us me and Ben sat on my bed; and we awkwardly fell into silence as we both looked at the floor.
"I'm sorry Ben" I said finally breaking the silence.
"I really am" I added as my voice broke and my eyes started to water. I really didn't like the situation that me and Ben currently found ourselves in. I hated arguing with him; as I was scared that there was going to be a point where I would go too far and upset Ben enough to say that he didn't want to be with me anymore.
"Hey come here" I heard Ben say before he wrapped his arms around me and he pulled me tightly to him so my face was now against his chest.
"I'm sorry too; I shouldn't have shouted at you or pushed you when you didn't want to be pushed" he apologised as he snuggled into my hair. I slowly pulled away from his chest and I looked up at him; and when I looked into his eyes I could see that Ben was also panicking as well.
"I think we need to talk Ben" I started. I watched as Ben's eyes quickly widened and his arms tightened around me.
"Why do I not like the sound of this?" he quickly said.
"Mal we can make this work; I know that our time together has been limited recently" he continued which made me pull one brow up in confusion.
"But please give us a chance?" he begged panic stricken.
"Ben what are you going on about?" I questioned. I didn't know whether I liked his panicked state as I didn't know where he was going with this.
"It sounds like you want to break up with me" he noted.
"What?" I asked as my face dropped.
"No!" I exclaimed.
"No I don't" I confirmed and I watched as Ben took a sigh of relief. However this then placed a seed of doubt in my mind – does this mean that Ben wants to break up with me?
"Do you want to break up with me?" I asked slowly as I started to panic as I didn't know whether I wanted to know the answer.
"No!" Ben exclaimed as he pulled me back to him so my face was snuggled back into his chest.
"Mal I love you to bits; you are my world" he said lovingly as he started to slowly stroke my back. I couldn't help but smile against Ben's chest as I started to remember what Jay had told me; of course I had nothing to worry about. I was never going to lose my Beast; we just needed to talk to make things better for each other.
"And you are mine" I promised lovingly as I looked up at him and I watched as a small smile spread across his face.
"What I want to talk about Ben is-" I started nervously.
"Can I speak my mind? Without you interrupting me?" I asked. I knew that I needed to get everything off my chest; as this was the only way that things were going to get better. I didn't want to get to the extremes of me getting overwhelmed and wanting to leave again.
"Of course" Ben replied happily.
"Well-" I started again nervously. I needed Ben to understand how I was feeling; but at the same time I didn't want to upset him again. I also didn't want him to think I was being ungrateful for the time we were spending together; as I still felt guilty that I wanted more.
"As you know this is a really new thing to me, even eight months on" I continued and I watched as Ben nodded.
"I just thought after cotillion things would be different; you said we would have more time together" I said as I tightened my fingers on his blazer.
"I know our time has been restricted and I'm not stupid Ben. I know it has to be; I know we can't see each other every day" I added.
"But-" I stopped.
"But?" he prompted as I lifted my right hand up and I cleared my eyes from tears.
"I feel bad for saying this" I admitted.
"Saying what?" Ben asked.
"There are times when I need you Ben; I need you to hold me and tell me that everything is going to be ok" I confessed.
"Hey" Ben said.
"Come here" Ben said and he pulled me back to him and he used his right hand to cup the back of my head.
"If you need me you come to me" he said into my hair before he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.
"I will make time for you" he promised.
"You didn't today" I stated as I pulled away and I watched as his face dropped.
"I needed you today Ben and you made me feel like I couldn't come to you; like I have to book an appointment just like everyone else" I stated bluntly. I watched as Ben pursed his lips together; we let the room fill into silence once more before Ben nodded.
"I'm so sorry I made you feel that way Mal; I didn't mean to do that" he said sadly.
"I know you didn't" I replied. I needed Ben to know that I didn't blame him; he was a very busy man with a lot of commitments. The last thing I wanted Ben to do was to feel bad about the limited time we have together.
"I'm sorry for telling you this" I said sadly.
"Don't be; we need to know how each other are feeling so we can help each other" he said as he stroked the bottom of my back.
"Is there anything else on your mind?" He questioned.
"Yes" I said as I winced and I watched as Ben pulled one brow up in confusion at me.
"One final thing" I stated as I wiped my eyes again.
"Which is?" Ben asked.
"I feel guilty" I confessed.
"For what?" Ben questioned.
"For asking for more time with you; I feel as if I am taking you from your work" I admitted nervously as I looked down. I didn't know how Ben was going to react to this but I needed him to know how I was feeling otherwise I was going to dwell on it.
"Hey" Ben said as he cupped the right hand side of my face with his left hand which made me look up at him.
"You are not taking me away from my work; if you need me you need to come to me" he stated.
"Mal I have let you speak your mind, can I speak mine?" he asked sincerely.
"Of course" I replied with a smile, hoping that this would reassure him.
"Mal I have a hectic job; we both know this-" he started.
"I just think we need to find balance" he stated.
"Correct" I agreed.
"This situation is overwhelming for me too" he confessed as he pursed his lips together again.
"How so?" I questioned.
"Mal I have been in relationships before you you know this; but what we have is different" he stated as he tightened his left arm around me.
"I am petrified of getting this wrong; I love you so much and I don't want to lose you" he said sadly and I noted that panic started to embed its way back into his eyes.
"I love you too" I said lovingly as I cupped the left hand side of his face with my right hand.
"Ben you are not going to lose me; I promise" I promised as I started to stroke his cheek with my thumb.
"And you are not going to lose me" he promised as my favourite cute smile spread across his face.
"Good" I said smugly and we both chuckled.
"Mal I need to admit something to you" Ben stated.
"Right?" I said slowly. Was this a good thing or a bad thing?
"What?" I asked.
"I want to see you a lot more than I do; but sometimes I feel like I could be overwhelming you" he admitted.
"Why?" I wondered out loud. If Ben wanted to see me a lot more then I wouldn't have any problems with that; but then as an afterthought I thought Ben must have thought as this was my first relationship he didn't want to scare me away.
"I know you haven't had this before" he replied.
"I don't want to scare you" he said.
"Ben" I said as I stared into his eyes.
"You are not going to scare me" I promised.
"I think we both need to be more open about things; if we need to see each other then we need to talk about it" I stated.
"Also if things are too much for either of us we need to talk about it" I advised.
"Yeah" he agreed.
"My thoughts exactly" he said as he stroked his thumb along my cheek.
"I know you don't want to feel like you are booking an appointment with me-" he said.
"Right?" I said slowly.
"But I will have a word with Hayley and my parents and we will look at when we can see each other on certain nights every week" he promised.
"Ok" I nodded.
"I suppose that is fair" I added. This did sound fair; at least this way if me and Ben had fixed days then we knew that we were always going to have more time with each other. I guessed I was going to have to learn to be more patient; but the fact that I knew that I was now going to have 'Ben' days would help a lot.
"However" Ben said.
"However?" I prompted.
"If you need to see me Mal you just text me and I'm there; or failing that just come and see me" he said as he started to burn his calming, leaf green eyes into mine.
"Back at ya" I teased and I watched as Ben chuckled at me.
"I'm sorry that it has got to this" Ben said.
"Me too" I replied.
"Can we kiss and make up?" Ben asked cheekily as he pulled a funny face at me.
"Yes" I laughed.
"Come here Ben" I said as I slid my hands onto the lapels on his blazer and I pulled him close to me so our lips crushed together. We then fell into a series of long and loving kisses that lead into me and Ben cuddling on my bed. I know I hated going through this situation but in a way I was glad I did – me and Ben had been able to fix things and make things better for each other. As I stared into space as Ben played with my hair a thought came to me; I was going to have to think of a way to thank Jay – for all his help and his shoulder to cry on.