Metal Baby Gun-Scythe 5: The Zombie Pain
WARNING: If you think this name is too silly even for a fan fiction, please turn back and go away. You have been warned.
WARNING: Contains light spoilers of RWBY season 2, Metal Gear solid V and Beelzebub seasons 1-2. Read with caution.
Chapter 1: Zombie? It can't be...
Starring:
Punished "Venon" Snake
Ruby "Craterface" Rose
Tatsumi"Furious Ogre" Oga
Kaiser de Emperana "Baby Beel" Beelzebub the IVth
Guest starring:
Revolver "Shalashaska" Ocelot
Benedict "Kazuhira" Miller
Vamp
Soviet Afghanistan occupation forces
Zombies
Zwei
White Fang goons
Hildegarde "Hilda"
Alaindelon
Takayuki Furuichi
Featured Mecha: Sahelanthropus, generic metal gears.
Location: Diamond Dogs Off-shore base, Seychelles.
December 8th, 1986 – 6.00 AM.
The sun had just begun to shower the now tranquil seas of the Seychelles in its golden light, but the enticing screech from coordinated gunfire could already be heard through the Diamond Dogs' mother base. A common civilian would find the bright metal in every gallery, floor and wall excessively unconfortable for a home, but not these men. Tested in the raging fires of war from all around the world and having given their whole lives and then some to the craft of killing, they were the absolute finest in the world at their mercenary job. And how could they be any less than that? They were lead by the legend among legends, after all. The Big Boss.
"Boss," Ocelot called for him, his eyes still focused on the shooting training taking place in front of the two men. He wore a brown shirt, dark pants and a red scarf. On his arm, the Diamond Dog's emblem was proudly displayed. "They're not as good as the old unit yet, but you have to admit they are getting better."
Snake simply grunted in response. The legend wore a tiger stripe camouflage, the one he used most often, black leather boots and a glove on his remaining hand. He approached the soldier that had been doing the worst shooting, and delievered a swift punch in the face.
"Thank you for that, Boss!" He gleefully answered. "I'll improve my aim."
Satisfyed with the answer, Big Boss turned his back to the shooting training and headed towards the heliport, reaching out for his idroid. The device projected a hologram into thin air which showed him all the current missions that had been sent for the Diamond Dogs to undertake. In a separate list were those too dangerous for a simple soldier to undertake, left for him and him alone to complete. At first, it seemed that he would have to choose once again between murdering some war general too smart for his own good and rescuing some valuable prisoner from a night-impenetrable fortress, but a very unique mission popped out on the list.
"Zombie disinfestation?" Snake read out loud. Ocelot approached him and examinated the request while stroking his chin.
"Hm... That's new." The mission description was fairly incomplete and the location, Chernobyl, only made the whole request look more suspicious. "Maybe we should sit this one out, Boss."
"No." Snake answered. "I'll go. Even if it's a trap, we can't let go this opportunity to know our enemy better."
"Well, it's your decision." Ocelot said. The men stopped their training momentairly while he circled behind Big Boss to adjust something in his backpack. "We'll try to get you support as soon as possible. Until then, be careful out there."
"That's something I wanted to ask." Snake commented. "The chopper doesn't have enough flight time to get there, does it?"
"Oh, don't worry about that." Ocelot dismissed with a witty smile. "I got a little something for that right... Here!"
A swift pull opened a Fulton devie attached to Big Boss' gear, rapidly suspending him a couple meters from the ground. The legend tried his best to get rid of his fate, but it was already too late: another burst of speed lauched him from the mother base and into the magical realm of 'not in the camera's view', where realiable albeit desconfortable fast travel happened at its best.
Fame decreased (-50)
"And that's for that little selfie in the multiplayer promo, you faggot." Revolver Ocelot finished.
Location: Mountain Glenn, Kingdom of Vale
December 9th, XXXX – 3:00 A.M.
It was a cold, eerie nigth at the ruins of mountain glenn. The morbid remains of what was projected to be a great city had lost all of their color and grace, as if it were the rotting skeleton of a fever dream. A small girl in a black dress and red hood wandered carefully through the grey maze, taking every precaution to avoid being found by the bloodthirsty monsters that hid just around the corner. She was small, but not harmless, carrying a rifle on her back, and seemed very focusedd on finding something:
"Zwei?" Ruby whispered. "Where are you, Zwei!?" Shortly after, she found Zwei marking his territory upon some of the city's ruins. Her expression quickly softened upon seeing the dog in safety. "Zwei, this is a wasteland! You literally could have done that anywhere!"
Zwei approached its owner and barked gleefully, unaware that the noise could attract unwanted attention. The greeting between the two was interrupted abruptly by a slow, sickly growl not far away from there. Thinking quickly, Ruby grabbed her dog and hurried towards the nearest wall. The growl continued to grow in strenght and numbers, seeming almost oblivious to their presence. They don't sound like any Grimm I know... Simultaneously excited and scared of facing the new monster, the huntress took a deep breath and peered out into the noise's source.
"Uuurrrgh..."
Three figures dragged themselves ever só slowly across the plaza. At a first glance they seemed to be a group of White Fang guards, but Ruby quickly noticed something was very wrong with them. Not only they had ragged and ripped clothes but deep and deadly wounds as well. The wide gashes seemed to have run out of blood to spill, but still prevented them from ever moving normally again. And yet, the three fauni stumbled forward, their heads pending to the side as if they were ragdolls pulled by pupeteer strings.
"Oh my..." Ruby quickly returned to her cover and faced Zwei. "What could have done this to them?" She received no answer apart from the growl, which seemed louder by the second. "I should try to get help before I do anything."
The huntress picked up her cellphone and dialed immedeately for her friends, but the device didn't seem to have any signal at the moment. She tried dialing a few more times, but to no avail. Looks like we'll have to go get them, Ruby thought to herself. She was about to put her device away when a cold, wet feeling took over her shoulder. Pushing herself over the limit to avoid paralyzing completely, the girl shackingly turned her head over to the side. A vicious and infected mass of saliva slowly dripped from the back dress. Just above it, the dead eyes of the undead White fang guard stared into her soul.
"Aaaaaaah!"
Ruby managed to just escape a bite from the monster using her inhuman speed, his teeth dipping into the trail of rose petals. Without time to think twice at the risk of getting Zwei hurt, she whipped out her high-impact sniper rifle and got a direct hit into the agressor, which was pushed back by the impact and hit the building's wall with enough force to shake out a few pebbles form the top. The thing was completely unfazed by it, however, and kept heading towards her. Luckly for her, the dog was clever enough to come running for its owner once again.
"Let's get out of here, Zwei!"
The huntress picked up Zwei and rushed towards their encampment, hoping the terrifying undead White Fangs wouldn't pull off that showing up from nowhere trick again. What she didn't expect, however, was having the very ground she stepped on collapse, picking apart herself, Crescent rose, and Zwei into separate falls.
"No! Zwei!" Was the last thing Ruby shouted before disappearing into the darkness.
Location: Oga's bedroom, Japan
July 8th, 2011 – 7:00 PM
"We have another letter from Master's father."
It was the end of a day like any other at the Oga household, with Tatsumi busy watching Gohan-kun while Baby beel crawled towards the source of novelty as fast as he could. Hilda, the third and last person present in the room, held the letter in her hand. Other than the occasional demonic toy scattered around the floor, that bedroom was indistiguishable from any common middle-schooler's. The letter's covering was ripped off and she continued reading it:
"The Great Demon Lord is weary that his son hasn't experienced enough evil during his stay in japan. He demands that he and his caretaker make use of the summer vacation to interact with other sources of villany on earth, or else..." Hilda glanced up after finishing the letter, then continued in a harsher tone: "Are you even listening?"
"Yeah yeah, I got it." Tatsumi replied without switching his focus from the television. "We'll stop by some other middle school tomorrow and beat some dumasses. How's that for you?"
"You didn't get it, then." Hilda put away the letter and shut down the television to get Oga's full attention. He reacted angrily:
"Hey! I was watching that!"
"Stip whining, this is important." She insisted. "I need to consult you on this, because I don't have enough knowledge of this world yet. Where on this plane can you find the most wretched hive of scum and villany?"
"Scum and villany, you say?" Tatsumi asked. Wait a minute. If we go to a place like this, I'll finally find someone to take care of Baby Beel! I can't let this chance go to waste. On the outside, however, he kept his cool and reached for his drawer. "Ugh, fine. Hang on a second."
"Dabuuh!"
Baby beel quickl reached Oga, who recovered from the drawer a months-old special magazine that came in free in some sort of promotional campaign. 'the most wretched hives of scum and villany on earth', said on its cover. He didn't read it, but since it had been so eerily called out like that, right then and there seemed a better time than ever. With the heir of the demon world on his shoulder, the Raging ogre began browsing through the many spages of the special edition:
"Hm, let's see... Terrorist encampment, Middle east... Too hot. Slave kids diamond mine, central africa... Too many mosquitoes. EA games headquarters, US..."
"Dabuuh!" Baby Beel exclaimed while pointing his finger to one of the pictures.
"Chernobyl? Why, Baby Beel? There's no one there..."
"Don't underestimate the Master's instinct." Hilda warned. "He must have sensed something very evil to act this way."
"Fine then, Chernobyl it is." Tatsumi agreed. It took a little more than a second until realization finally hit him. "Wait a second... I'm not paying a trip to Ukraine! How are we supposed to get there!?"
"Did someone call for transport!?"
Less than a split second after the problem was stated, Alaindelon the transportation demon busted out from the bedroom door in his casual attire and epic mustache, carring the shine in his eyees that showed up every time he was requested. Despite his sudden appearance having happened several times already under similar circumstances, Tatsumi and Baby Beel still were utterly startled.
"Don't fret about it, Master!" Alaindelon continued, overflowing with pleasure. "Just go inside me and I'll take you wherever you want to be..."
"This isn't funny!" Tatsumi kept protesting while the transportation demon divided himself into two straight from the middle and sucking in Baby Beel and his adoptive father. "I don't even speak Ukranian! Stop! Aaaargh!" When the door was almost closing, Oga suddenly stopped screaming and struggling to hold Alaindelon still with little effort. He calmy asked: "Wait. You're not coming with us, Hilda?"
"Dabuh Dah?"
"I have some matters to atend in the demon world." Hilda explained withou batting an eye. "It'll be a good chance for you two to learn how to get around on your own. If you manage to get Master into trouble, just call for Alaindelon and I'll come to help."
"Fine then." Tatsumi had one extra second to breathe before he was completely inside Alaindelon. "Aaargh...!"
Having the two safely stored inside him, the transportation demon stormed out of the house, gaining speed at an absurd pace and with a trajectory that headed straight into the ocean. In only a few moments he reached the beach and, in a glorious sommersault, dove into the water to proceed swimming. Meanwhile inside the demon, Tatsumi noticed something had upset his kid deeply.
"What's the matter, Baby Beel?" He asked. The tiny Demon Lord was still looking towards the opening from whence they came. "You're missing Hilda already?"
"Dah... Buh..." Tears were quickly overflowing in Baby Beel's eyes.
"No, wait!" Oga begged. "Remember, real men don't cry! Don't..."
"Dabuuuuh!"
A massive thunderstorm raged around the crying baby, one unlike any other that had ever happened before. It overwhelmed Alaindelon from the inside and covered him in a blue flash as bright as an atomic bomb. Afterwards, there was no evidence of any of the three to be seen...
At that time, at least.