I'm not a bad person. Honest, I'm not. I didn't mean for things to turn out this way, honest, I didn't. It wasn't my fault, I thought I was doing the right thing. This wasn't supposed to happen...
When our family went down on hard times, what could I do? She was only fourteen, I was seventeen and too young to go to work. I was working so hard to put myself through school. It was just too much. We ran away together. I wasn't sure where we'd go, but we went anyways. Namine and I didn't have much, just each other, but she trusted me, and that's all I could ask for.
We went for a while until we met the Organization. I was trying to secure a job in town and that's where I met Marluxia. We talked awhile and he said he'd find me work. I told him I had a little sister, but he said it was fine. All I had to do was cooperate with whatever was done and things would be fine. I changed my appearance a little, I dyed my hair and wore color contacts, hoping they wouldn't know that Namine wasn't my sister. They bought it...
So it worked for a while. Namine had the talent of erasing and adding memories, so they had her help them. I was okay with that and after a while. It was good. I was getting money, I was still in school (so was Nami), I had a place to live, and Nami was safe...at least that's what I thought.
XXX
Larxene sniffed and fell back into sobs for awhile, "I didn't mean it Axel!" she cried. "I didn't mean for it to happen!" she wailed falling into his arms. She clenched her teeth to fight for some control, but it was too much...
XXX
Marluxia took an interest in me, I discovered that in a very short while. It was weird because no one had ever liked me before. He was so sweet too, kind of like...I don't know. It was just amazing being with him. He thought the world of me. I pretty much fell hard for him in an instant. That's why... when he asked me to help him overthrow the Organization, I agreed.
What I had to do was wrong, I knew it, but I went with it. I wanted him to love me, I wanted him to tell me that. First I had to get stronger and put up a front, so I did. I pretended to be mean to Namine and to try to control everyone. That's what I did when everyone was watching me. Every night I would sneak into Nami's room and appologize for what I said earlier. She always forgave me because she understoood what I was going through, what I was trying to do. We'd laugh about stuff like we used to, so I figured it'd be okay.
Then Riku showed up on the scene, and I knew that was trouble. Sora was a disaster waiting to happen. Namine knew about him and fell in love with him. She never told me about him. Ever. So when he finally made his way up to her room, I freaked. I found out later that he wasn't the one I should've been afraid of.
After my last fight with him, it sent me to the hospital. I was good as dead then. I was really close. I stayed in the ICU waiting for Marluxia to show up and see if I was okay. He never did. When I came back several weeks later, I knew something was wrong. Namine wasn't in the white room. I heard a scruffling noise coming from her room. I ran as fast as I could and rammed the door open--the sight was horrifying.
She was crying in pain with Marluxia on top of her. I couldn't bear to waste a second, I flew at him, stabbing him with my knives over and over and over again in a rage I can't describe. Blood was everywhere. It was all along the walls, the floors, some had splattered on the window, but most of it I could feel trickling down my dress and across my chest. I held her for a long time after that, neither of us saying a word.
It turns out he'd been doing things like that for a long time. Longer than I was even aware of. I failed, I couldn't take care of her. DIz stepped in and took her away from me, saying that I wasn't even worthy to be her sister if I let things like this happen. We both tried to explain, but he wouldn't listen. He put her in the gummi ship and I never saw her again.
XXX
Larxene sat quietly in Axel's arms for a long time. "I'm sorry", was all he could say. But no words could comfort this girl. She had lost so much...too much. The clinic could only do so much for her. The wrist cutting, the insomnia, the lack of food; it reduced her to a pale phantom. A mere shaddow. The guilt was imense, so was the pain. "If only I could go back", she whispered, "I'd change everything".