Prompt from noiproksa: Canon AU in which Neal is Peter's son. (Maybe Neal is about 5 years younger in this AU than in canon, or he forged his birth certificate, so that Peter wouldn't have been a teenage dad.) Neal knows that Peter is his father, but Peter doesn't. I'm totally stealing the fic idea from serenphoria'sKnow Me (Not), but the fic has apparently been abandoned and the author said she never planned on Peter finding out anyway. What I'm looking for here, though, is exactly that: How Peter finds out and the reaction to it.
Slight spoilers for season 4: also AU
The title refers to the face that this is an AU story. It's what could have been but wasn't.
The Way It Could Be.
It had been a one-night stand with a girl at a party, well, sort of. His friends had forced him to come, a kind of farewell before he set off on the path to become a famous baseball player. She had been looking for a wild night.
They met, drunk and got a little wild. This was before he became an upstanding citizen of the law and under-age drinking was the norm where he lived.
They were friends for a while afterwards. He helped her get a job so she could save to become an artist. She taught him how to talk to girls, or tried. They watched movies together and tried to set each other up with their friends. Neither of them ever regretted what happened the night they met. They may have lost their virginity, but they both thought they gained a life-long friend.
However, a few months later, she vanished. He parents had her move in with her aunt. Every time he asked where, they gave him a different answer and kindly warned him away from her. It was weird, but nothing time couldn't make him forget.
He still has one of her paintings hanging on his bedroom wall, even though he's married now. El doesn't mind.
But, sometimes, he wonders how she's doing and why she left.
She left because she was pregnant. She hadn't wanted to ruin his blossoming career in baseball, although she figured he could be anything he wanted to. A baby would have ruined his life. She knew he would have quit school to help her look after it and he would have done that for her and the child. He was a nice guy and she couldn't do that to him.
So, she left. She married the first man who was okay with a young woman; who was barely out of her teens, having a young toddler.
That was the mistake, one she regretted for her whole life. He turned out to be a dirty cop and, even though he claimed to love her and her child, pushed them into WITSEC.
The kid grew up believing his father was a hero. When she spoke of his father, she spoke of the amazing man who; despite not loving her, gave her a child. However, she gave him the job of the man who betrayed her. She spoke of her wishes and, somewhere along the line, lost herself in them.
When her child found out the truth, and not from her, he yelled at her. Their fight would have lasted long into the night, if she hadn't suddenly blurted out that she had forged his birth certificate. Wait, she hadn't but her dirty cop did. He had wanted everyone to believe the child was his, so presented her with a forged birth certificate for her child the day they married.
She had thought it cute at the time, a sign that he wanted to stay with them forever.
"Then, who's my father?" her child demanded to know.
She didn't have an answer for him. So many years had past and she had no idea who her friend had grown up to be.
She gave her child the original birth certificate, still sealed in an envelope, which she had kept as a reminder of her friend and as a link to her past.
Somehow, she wasn't surprised to find him missing the next day. Her boy had taken on many of her traits.
When his mother first handed him the envelope, he didn't open it. He was scared to know who his father was. The man had gone from hero cop to dirty cop to a huge, empty unknown which was somehow worse than dirty cop.
Did his father know of his existence? He hadn't thought to ask his mother that.
Lost and confused, he kept the unopened envelope with him as he travelled to New York. He hoped that one day, he would be strong enough to open it.
The day he was, it was an ordinary day. No heists planned and no need to run just yet. Mozzie was off somewhere speaking to someone and Kate had asked for a few days space. He had been feeling alone when he spotted the envelope at the bottom of his bag.
Maybe seeking out some kind of connection, he finally opened it. It hadn't felt too much like a big deal; although butterflies fluttered in his stomach, until he spotted the name.
"No way." Denial was his first instinct.
There, in big, bold letters was the name 'Peter Burke'.
How many Peter Burkes were there anyway? It couldn't be the man who had been chasing him and making his life difficult.
Could it?
The next time they met, he managed to grab a bit of DNA. He didn't tell Mozzie who it was from but, asked the little man to run a paternity test.
When it came back positive, he didn't know what to think. So, he shoved the information to the back of his mind.
Besides, he and Peter lived in different worlds. They would probably never ever spend more than a few hours in each other's company.
After he was caught, jailed and then released on parole into Peter's custody, Neal didn't spend much time thinking about his father. Sometimes he would learn things about Peter and he would file them away along with all the other things he had learnt about his father. This happened a few times until he caught what he was doing.
And then there were the moments where he accidentally blurred the line, those father-son moments that the rest of the office cooed over.
Those moments terrified him.
It was increasingly obvious that Peter didn't know. Slowly, almost unconsciously, Neal began to compare himself with the upstanding law man that was Peter Burke. He didn't like what he found. He didn't think Peter would like it either.
He couldn't be an FBI agent's son. Not Neal Caffrey, master conman, thief and art forger.
And if anyone found out, not only would it ruin Peter's career; it would ruin his personal life.
Such thoughts terrified him at night.
Everything was fine the way it was.
Until Ellen died.
Peter looked up from his paperwork as Diana walked into the room. She held up a file and he nodded her in.
Always a smart woman, Diana locked the door before speaking.
"Sorry it took a while, Marshals can be stubborn."
"It's fine, I'm just glad you managed to get it." After Ellen died, Peter had started looking into Neal's mother. He had hoped to find out where she was staying and maybe take Neal to see her but, he hit walls no matter what he tried.
Then, one time when he was offloading his frustrations on her, El had suggested finding out her name before WITSEC. The idea had been to maybe track down Neal's grandparents, maybe a sibling, someone who Neal could connect with on a biological level.
He had Diana start on that right away. Pulling every string she could to find out the woman's original name.
And now he had it. He opened the file and felt the blood drain from his face.
It was her. Sure, he had known her name was Caffrey but, it was a common enough name.
Apparently not.
"Boss?" Diana questioned, sounding worried.
He snapped his head up.
"Uh, yeah. Thanks. You're dismissed." He might as well have raised a red flag that something was wrong. He could see the suspicion on her face but, thankfully, she knew when to leave.
He would face the questions later, as soon as he could wrap his head around this. Looking at the file again, his brain almost overloaded with questions.
She had to have had him as a teenager. Now he had an idea why she left.
But, then, who was the father? It can't have been the dirty cop Neal told him about. Peter checked Neal's birth date. If it was real, then he must have known her during the time she was pregnant.
Had it been one of his friends? Was that why she couldn't tell him?
It took him an amazingly long amount of time to reach a different conclusion. His brain kept telling him that it was impossible while simultaneously telling him that it made sense.
He quietly arranged a paternity test that very afternoon. At the very least, it would put all his worries to rest.
It had been the worse week of his life, the wonder and worry tearing at his very being. He was adjusting his world view; Neal Caffrey was his son?, while trying to remind himself that it probably wasn't true; he was just overreacting.
El thought it was cute. However, he didn't know what outcome she was hoping for.
He tried to take it one day at a time, the way she did. Even though, the whole office probably noticed that something was up.
And then, the results arrived. He couldn't bring himself to open it, instead opting to take it to lunch with El.
Neal had praised him on the way out; something about his workaholic self taking time to spend with the wife and good on him. He felt so guilty for not telling Neal about this.
He also wondered, did Neal know? The story about the dirty cop father suggested otherwise but, it was Neal.
In the end, El opened it. She stared at it for a long time, her head tilted to the side while he squirmed in his seat. Her face was blank, although her mouth twitched from time to time. It wasn't enough to tell him the result.
Finally, she placed it on the table, close enough for him to reach.
"Read it," she told him.
It was positive. He was elated; he had a son!, and confused; what was he supposed to do now?
"Invite him to dinner tonight," El suggested. He wondered what she saw in his face, that she added, "Peter, you can't keep this from him."
"I know," he responded, "but, what do I say? 'Hi, I'm your father'? And how do you feel about this?"
"I really don't know," El responded. She gave a slight laugh. "I certainly didn't expect this when I married you. But, Neal's a great kid."
Neal's a great kid. However, Neal was already an adult. Did he even need a father?
"For all that I've learned over the past few years, I feel like I don't know him at all," Peter lamented, placing his face in his hands with a groan. What kind of father was he? He had thousands of questions and no answers.
When Peter came back to the office after lunch with El, he had been skittish and almost as white as a ghost. And when he had invited Neal to dinner that night; El's orders, Neal was suspicious.
"Are you going to tell me what's up with you? Or do I have to guess?" he half-joked as he got into the car.
Peter didn't respond; he just started the car.
Neal fiddled with buttons. Asides from a weak; 'don't', he didn't get much of a reaction.
Something was really wrong.
"Is El okay?" he asked, beginning his guessing game.
"El's fine," Peter responded, sounding surprised. And then they were back to silence.
Neal hated silence.
When they entered the Burke's house, Neal found El sitting at an already set and plated dinner table.
"The little hens?" Peter questioned. Neal automatically corrected him but, Peter didn't seem to notice.
"Hun, it's okay," El encouraged. Now, Neal was really confused.
What was going on here? He felt like he was walking into the inquisition.
"You know, maybe I should go," he said, making for the door. Peter grabbed his arm.
"El made your favourite, so at least stay for dinner."
The silence was overwhelming and heavy with whatever was going on between Peter and El.
'Tell him,' he caught El mouthing to Peter a few times.
He was almost done eating; and would be free soon, when Peter put his utensils down.
"Neal, a few weeks ago, I started looking into your mother."
"What?" Now that, he hadn't suspected. Well, it wasn't like he would find anything. WITSEC wouldn't even tell him where they had moved her, and he was her son.
"Keep going," El encouraged when Peter clammed up.
"You might not know this, but I knew your mother in high school."
Neal nodded; both a 'yes' and a 'go on, I'm listening' gesture.
"There was this party and, I, uh, we-"
Oh. It suddenly clicked in Neal's head.
"You had sex," he said, trying very hard not to imagine it. Instead, he focused on teasing Peter, "you can say it, you know?"
"Uh, yes. And well, she left a few months later and I had no idea why."
"Until now," Neal prompted, feeling a stir in his gut.
This wasn't how it was supposed to go! Peter wasn't supposed to find out!
Yet, Peter nodded.
Neal let out a groan, much more subdued than the yell of frustration he wanted to make, and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"You know, don't you?"
And with that the tension seemed to switch. Surprise filled the room.
"Neal, you know?" El prodded kindly, "that Peter's your father."
Neal gritted his teeth and nodded. Nothing he had learnt over the years told him how to deal with this. So, he opted for a wait-and-see approach.
"When did you find out?" Peter asked. He wanted to yell, but everyone at the table could sense the delicate balance. If it broke, then Neal would be gone and trust would be broken.
"While you were chasing me. I received my original birth certificate the day I left and I didn't look at it until then. And I had Moz run a test, although he doesn't know."
"I ran a test too," Peter admitted, pointing at the envelope El brought out.
"I'm thinking we'll frame it," El joked, smiling at the two horrified looks she got. "Kidding. But, it is going in the family scrapbook."
"You have a family scrapbook?" Neal questioned in surprise. He felt a pang that he hadn't seen it and pleased that El was going to add information about him to it.
"El likes to collect up important photos, articles and information and put them in the scrapbook for safekeeping," Peter explained. The strain from before seemed to fade a little.
"It's a shame it won't fit on the page with that picture of Neal sleeping on our couch," El commented. It was a deliberate tactic on her part to lighten the atmosphere and it worked.
"Wait? What? When did you get a picture of me like that?" Neal questioned. His heart was lightened by the knowledge that he was already in the scrapbook, although confused as to when El might have had a chance to take such a picture. He was also horrified at the thought of anyone seeing such an image. He mentally sorted through every time he was over the Burkes' place, trying to figure out when it might have happened.
"I thought you deleted that photo." Peter sounded confused.
El looked at them with pity.
"Oh, boys. I never delete photos. Or burn them."
Peter and Neal shared a look. The same thought went through their heads. Did that mean she kept the pictures of Peter's moustache?
Slowly, Neal's face grew a smile while Peter's gained a horrified expression.
"Hun!"
"This I need to see," Neal decided.
"Now, Peter. Even if you weren't related, Neal's practically family." This, she wanted them to realise. Even though she was as confused and uncertain as they were, she was willing to try and keep things the same. "He has the right to see it."
"Score."
"I'm never going to live that down."
El brought out the family scrapbook and placed it on the, now clear, table. She looked at her two boys.
"Nothing has to change," she told Peter, wrapping an arm around her husband in a half-hug. She knew that Neal could hear them as he momentarily stopped flipping through pages as she spoke. "Neal's free to come here whenever he wishes and he's still going to a pain in your neck."
"Yeah," Peter agreed.