Disclaimer:
I don't own Gossip Girl. If I did, I would be Gossip Girl. :P
Summary:
If there's something wrong with the kids, there must be something wrong with the parents. Especially when the parents are Chuck Bass and Blair Waldorf.
This one's for liddle.girl.lucy and chuckbasslover15. (Wait, did I get your pen names right?)
Author's Note:
Please review! I'm not feeling this one, and I've got a slight fever. Remember, I'm loving my flames!
Chuck Said What?
by Ashlie Rayeux
(a.k.a. rayeux)
When we first tried for kids, Chuck asked me if I minded naming them after him. I joked that if we named them after him, they'd be just as mischievous. I had no idea how right I would be, because here I am with my 8-year-old son in the Headmaster's office. If you're wondering, we named our son Charles II, which was obviously a bad choice. I've always believed that names had a significant effect on people, and this just proves that theory.
The moment the Headmaster entered the office, I immediately took a dislike to him. He picked up what seemed to be Charles' permanent file, and gave it to me. I scanned the pages and frowned that my son.
"Charles, where did you get such a colorful vocabulary? I ought to wash your mouth with soap."
"No need, Mom. The Headmaster already did that for you," he said the same way Chuck would have said it if he were in the same predicament.
"You're not answering my question."
"Okay, okay. I heard those from Dad when he was speaking with Uncle Nate. They seemed like really cool words," he shrugged and grinned sheepishly at me.
"Well, I'll have you know that 'fuck', 'shit', 'damn', 'goddamn', 'bullcrap', 'bitch', and especially 'nigger' are not very nice words. I'll have a word with your father about that."
The Headmaster cleared his throat and spoke. "Mrs Bass, that isn't the only offence Charles has made." He took out a picture from the file and showed it to me.
"Mom, I'm sure it's pretty minor."
I frowned at my son. "Vandalizing the school walls with 'Charles Bass II is da pimp, y'all!' is hardly minor." I looked at the Headmaster. "Is there anything else?"
"Charles revealed something to the class that this school doesn't cover until 7th grade-"
I threw the keys to my Audi on the sofa. "Charles, who told you where babies came from?" I fumed.
"One of my classmates asked me, then I didn't know the answer, so I asked you. You told me they came from the stork, which by the way is a LIE, so I asked Uncle Dan. He said they came from the core of cabbages, just like those old-school Cabbage Patch Kids, which is also a LIE. I asked Aunt Serena and she told me to ask Dad. And Dad told me the answer."
I faced Charles and inquired, "Did your father have a small glass in his hand when he told you?"
He raised an eyebrow and brightened up. "Oh, you mean a shot glass. Yep. There were a couple dozen around him."
"A couple dozen? Oh, he's gonna get it."
"Is Dad doomed?"
"No, he's just seeing hell."
"Chuck said what?" Serena asked me over the phone.
I grinned. "I just showed him the ol' Blair Bitch moves."
My best friend giggled. "Oh, you didn't!"
"Yes, I did!"
"And it ended up how?"
"I think you know."
"Just like in high school?"
"Just like in high school."
"You do know that I've been rooting for Chuck all along, right?"
"Riiiiighttttttt."
We both laughed.
"Blair? Can I use the phone now? Nate won't answer his cellphone," Chuck called from the living room.
I giggled softly.
"I bet Chuck won't be able to use the phone," Serena said, her smile evident.
"You thought right."