HEY! I'm BACK! How was everyones Xmas? Mine was average... Back on subject this little oneshot was inspired from when I got my report and my best frenemy tied with me in every subject except music hehe I beat him A, A- :) Hope u likey!
iM Smarter Than Freddie
"Hey! Our report cards are here!" Freddie yelled excitedly. He burst through the door of the Shay's apartment waving a white envelope frantically in his hand. Carly and Sam were on the couch, watching yet another Girly Cow rerun.
"Cool." Carly said turning of the tv and jumping off the couch to meet Freddie at the kitchen bench.
"Hey!" Sam exclaimed. "I was watching that!"
"Too bad, now come and have a look at your report!" She gestured for her to join them.
"Fine." Sam grunted through clenched teeth, slowly making her way over to the bench.
"They sent yours to my address," Carly told Sam. "Here"
Carly handed her the envelope while she and Freddie were busy exchanging their thoughts on what grades they got. "I hope I passed English..." Carly mumbled worriedly.
"Don't worry I know you did," Freddie smiled. "Ok when I say one, we open the envelopes, ok?"
Sam and Carly nodded. "In 5, 4, 3,-"
"ONE!" Sam yelled impatiently, ripping open her envelope. She didn't really care what marks she got, she just wanted to rip the paper.
"I GOT STRAIGHT A's!"Freddie exclaimed, "Well in the subjects that matter anyway..." He added quietly.
"Oh my gosh! I passed English!" Carly said gleefully. "What did you get Sam?"
"ahh, the usual," She shrugged. "But I got A's."
Carly and Freddie's mouth dropped open.
"What?" Sam gave them a puzzled look. " I was lying!"
Carly and Freddie both gave sighs of relief.
"So, show us your report Puckett," Freddie instructed. "Or too scared to admit your horrible marks?"
"Whatever Benson," She spat and forcefully shoved the paper into his chest, causing him to jolt. "Gimme yours."
"Here" He muttered, clutching at his chest. They both read through the reports fast, trying to find something they could insult each other with.
"OH MY GOSH!" Sam said, eyes open wide. "Freddork got a C+!"
"OH MY GOSH! Sam got a B-!" Freddie exclaimed, the same time as Sam.
"What?" Carly yelled.
"Dude, what did I get a B- for?" Sam asked excitedly, trying to look at the paper in his hands.
"Sport." He said flatly. "Not a real subject anyway..." He added.
"What did I get a C+ for?" He asked anxious to see the subject he didn't top the class in.
"Sport." Sam said slowly. "You know what that means nub?"
"It's not a real subject-"
"I BEAT YOU! I BEAT THE DIPSTICK!" Sam broke out into a chant. "'CAUSE WE ALL KNOW, FREDWARD CANT THROW FOR SH-"
"SAM!" Carly yelled before Sam could continue. "Language!"
"I was gonna say sheep..." Sam mumbled.
"Likely story..." Freddie muttered. "I beat you in every other subject Sam, which means I'm smarter than you."
"Oh, you think your smarter than me?"
"I know I'm smarter than you!" Freddie shot back.
"Fine!"Sam exclaimed. "If you're so smart, what is two and two?"
"Are you kidding?" Freddie raised his eyebrows. "Its four!"
"WRONG!" Sam yelled. "It's a fish!"
"What? How?-"
"You have no imagination Benson." Sam sighed and continued to ask questions. "What is dark but made by light?"
"I'm not gunna answer your stupid questions Puckett." Freddie said firmly.
"Fredwardo admits that I'm smarter than him!" Sam shouted so the whole level of apartments could hear.
"Sam!" Carly yelled from the couch. "Keep it down!"
"Whatev Carls." She shrugged making her way to the computer. "Now to post it on ."
"You wouldnt." Freddie said through gritted teeth, his death stare not leaving Sam.
"You know I would." Sam smiled evilly. "Now answer my question!"
"Fine," Freddie gave in. 'What is dark but made by light?' He pondered on this for a while but came up with no answer. "I don't know..."
"Its a shadow," Sam said triumphantly, watching the expression on Freddie's face drop. "Why is it called a drive through when you have to stop?" Sam continued, enjoying having power over Freddie.
"Because you-"
"Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?"
"It's called So-"
"Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?"
"The-"
"What was the best thing before sliced bread?"
"It's a sayi-"
"When lightning strikes the ocean, why don't all the fish die?"
"Because the fish-"
"If Mars had earthquakes, would they be called Marsquakes?" "Earthquakes were-"
"If there is a speed of sound, and a speed of sound, is there a speed of smell?"
"I guess so-!"
"Can you drown a fish-"
"QUIT IT PUCKETT!"
Sam curled the corner of lip. "What in this room is smaller than your manliness?"
"Your brain?" Freddie raised a sly eyebrow.
"Haha, you just admitted that you have small manliness."
"You just admitted that you have a small brain!"
"Better to be stupid than to have the strength of a cane toad."
"PUCKETT!"
"BENSON!"
'slap'
"OW!" Freddie exclaimed, rubbing his reddening cheek.
'slap'
"OW! FREDNUB!"
Sam yelled motioning to slap him again. "DO YOU 'WANT' ME TO STOP?"
YES!" Freddie exclaimed, looking straight into her eyes. They hadn't noticed how close they had become. Sam seemed to have recognized this too, and started to go pink in the face.
"Hem Hem." Freddie cleared his throat. He desperately wanted to move away, but it was as if his feet had been glued to the floor. Sam looked to be in the same problem.
"Hey, you guys!" A voice yelled from the other side of the room.
"Oh Carly, I forgot-" Sam started.
"I gotta question for you," Carly began, sounding agitated. "Why do you act like kids?"
"What?" Sam and Freddie said simultaneously.
"Dude, we gotta stop doing that." Sam told Freddie.
"THIS IS WHAT I MEAN!" Carly threw her hands up in the air. "Most of the time I'm with you I feel like a parent with two badly behaved children."
"What?"
"Ahh!" Carly sighed and walked over to them. "Can't you guys get along for one day? You're like an old married couple!"
"WE ARE NOT A COUPLE!" Freddie yelled at the top of his lungs.
"OR WILL EVER BE!" Sam added.
Carly raised her eyebrows. "Oh really?"
"What you doing Carls?" Freddie asked cautiously as she slowly walked towards them, a devilish smile creeping on her face.
"Something I shoulda done ages ago!"
She stood infront of them, their bodies still very close and pushed their heads together. There were muffled yells and insults coming from the teens mouths, but Carly stood her ground and pushed their heads closer. Realizing that once she let go she would be attacked by two very angry teenagers, Carly held their heads together with one arm, grabbed the duck tape from bench with the other and taped them together, ignoring the muffled death-threats from Sam. Satisfied, Carly waltzed back to the couch and started watching tv. Once settled, Carly looked back and smiled as she saw Freddie and Sam's lips still together, none of them complaining complaining.
The End!
…
So, waddya think? Did you know the answers to Sam's questions? I'm curious to see if anyone got answers to ALL the ones Sam asked... R+R Hannah_banana01