For years James had tried to get Lily's attention. Not that he hadn't received it, just not the attention he had hoped for. Lily had yelled, screamed, cursed, threatened and gotten upset at James, but had never thrown her arms around him and snogged him within an inch of his life.
"Maybe it's because you're a right twat to her, do you think?" Remus pondered while James whined about how much he liked Lily, for what seemed like the billionth time that summer.
"I don't know what you're on about. Girls love my wit and sense of humour. And you always tease the ones you love!"
"Then you love a lot of girls, mate." Sirius laughed.
"It's different with Lily! The other girls just giggle and flick their hair, which is fine and all. But Lily just gets angry!"
"Because you humiliate her. You picked on her the first 3 years, and then when you figured out that you liked her, you asked her out every day for a month, but you still pick on her!"
"Do not! I show her the most attention and I ask her out 100 times a week!"
Sirius and Peter chortled, as though James was joking, but he was dead serious.
"But it's not romantic. It's not heartfelt - even though it is!" Remus stopped James. What James felt was from the heart was merely an annoyance to poor Lily. "Lily isn't the type of girl that just wants ANY attention from a guy. She wants to be treated right, be defended when it's needed, not get defensive against the person who is supposed to love her. See what I mean?"
"...Kinda. So I should, ya know, bring her flowers and stuff?"
"Could be a good start."
James mused over this, trying to think of how he'd do it. He then smiled to himself and got up from his seat.
"Where are you going, Prongs?" Peter asked.
"Going to woo my fair maiden!" He claimed triumphantly.
"Not talking like a prat, he's not!" Sirius mumbled as they chuckled, watching James sprint out of the Common Room.
James raced through the potrait of the Fat Lady, dodging and weaving between people on the stairs, busting through the doors to the sunny outdoors where most of the Hogwarts students had been spending their weekend.
The four boys were stuck inside for most of it, having to get done a Potions group assignment that they had failed to hand in on the correct day. Their professor had given them the rest of the weekend to finish it, so they had shut themselves in the Common Room.
Remus had completed his section of the work, and had been excluded from having to help out the other 3, but being the good friend he was, he had imprisoned himself with them, acting as their warden. He tried his best to keep them on task, but was there to make sure they didn't get up to shenanigans when they got distracted.
Remus had had enough of James' whinging and thought the other two could use a bit of a break from his constant pity about the situation with Lily, so didn't stop Potter when he ran out to go and find flowers.
James searched his mind, thinking of a good place to find flowers for Lily. The lake was surrounded with reeds, and he couldn't just waltz into the Forbidden Forest to find her an exotic plant. Or could he... No, he snapped himself out of it. He was in enough trouble at the moment, not finishing his assignment, and didn't need a months worth of detentions on top of that.
Then it dawned on him. He began to move around the castle grounds until he reached his destination. Herbology was one of his least favourite subjects, but there wasn't a doubt in his mind that it would have something in there that Lily would appreciate. He opened the door to one of the glasshouses and the aroma of damp soil hit him hard. It was earthy and rich, and the plants were lush and green. On one of the benches was rows of small pots, each with a young, quivering plant. It was cute, and he thought Lily might like it for her room. James figured he'd probably seen it in one of his Herbology classes, but wasn't sure if it was poisonous or dangerous.
"I hope she understands the lengths I'm going to for this." James muttered to himself, reluctantly raising his hand and reaching forth, tickling a leaf with his fingertip. It continued to quiver as it was, no Venus Flytrap mouth opening up to take a bite, no vapour squirting out, no hazardous thorns pertruding from it.
Picking up the pot, he held it in one hand, turning and making for the door. Professor Sprout came through just as he approached it. Before she realised James was there, he sat the pot down on the nearest bench and faced her.
"What are you up to in my greenhouse?"
"Oh, nothing Prefessor, just grabbing a bit of research for the assignment." he said, grinning.
"Research, aye? Don't you usually leave that up to Mr. Remus Lupin to do that for you?"
"Never, Professor! I'm an upstanding 5th year student, willing to learn to further my wizardry."
Sprout rolled her eyes and tutted, but she was grinning. "You truly are a piece of work, Mr. Potter. Is there anything I can help you with, then?"
"I believe I got all I needed, thanks!"
Professor Sprout turned away from him, and when he saw she was busy tending to some plants, James grabbed the pot and hightailed it back out to the grounds.
James ran across the grass, scanning the area for the girl he loved. Every person he passed, he asked for where she was. Some of the girls he had seen Lily chatting to were basking in the warm rays of sun by the lake, so James approached them, asking them where Lily was.
"She's over by the lake, under the huge elk tree. We asked her to join us, but she prefered reading her book."
"Thanks girls."
James decided to make it a surprise, slowing his pace as he got closer and moving in from behind the tree. Lily didn't distract herself from the book, just turned the page and carried on. She didn't sense James there, too emersed in the words, until James' voice broke her concentration.
"Afternoon, Evans!"
"AHHH! POTTER! What are you doing?" Lily nearly jumped as high as the lowest branch. Her book fell off her lap on to the grass and she felt her face flush brilliant red.
"Aww come on, Ginger, I was only coming to see you."
"Ginger, wow, that's original." Lily said, touching her hair as she did. She pulled it back off her face and let it draped down her back.
James gulped. She was such a beauty, he wished he could run his fingers through that hair. "Didn't mean it in a bad way, just thought it was nicer than calling you 'Evans' all the time."
"How about 'Lily', I generally answer to that."
James fought the urge to come back with a mocking remark, but remembered what Remus had said.
"Ok, no more 'Ginger', I promise."
Lily looked at him, unable to make out his angle. Usually he'd come over, all "OI!" and "How's about a date, Evans?" But this time he was different. Her eyes roamed over him, looking for a clue as to what his game was. His face showed what looked like sincerity, for once, but his stance was it's normal, proud self. She let her gaze move back to his arms, and noted that his hands were behind his back.
Oh no, she thought, he's going to ask me out, and if I refuse, he'll throw something at me.
Her expression turned from untrusting to shock, because James smirked his half-smile.
"I knew you were eyeing me up, and now you've just realised how much you're in love with me. It's ok, I don't blame you." He was trying to inject a bit of comedy, but it just came of mocking, as usual. There was only a handful of times James had ever truly made Lily laugh, and he wished he had paid attention to what he did to make her do so.
"You wish, Potter. Just take whatever it is behind your back, take your date invite and bugger off before you make an arse out of me."
James looked confused, wondering what she was on about, then remembered his present.
"Oh! This? No, here." He pulled the gift from out behind his back.
Lily shrunk away from him, wondering if she would cop whatever it was in the face or the stomach, hands out to try and protect wherever he aimed.
"Here you go."
Lily looked down at his hands, to the shaky little shrub in the pot. It was quite cute, really, the little ball of leaves planted firmly in the soil by it's tiny trunk. Even the pot was quaint.
"Wow, James, that's really... Nice of you."
"You think so? Great! Guys usually get girls flowers, but I reckon this would last longer, it's cooler too."
Lily's face relaxed and she even smiled a little, the creases of her mouth tugging up in the corners.
James flashed his big grin. "So I take it you like it then?"
"It's very sweet of you, very thoughtful. So unlike you..." she remarked, with a hint of mischief in her eye. "I didn't know you would know where to find one of these."
"Oh, I have many hidden talents."
Lily chuckled a little and skimmed her finger over the top of the plant. It rustled lightly, and she could see herself looking after it. She blushed a little more, thinking of how silly she was to think he would throw something at her. He was a pretentious arse sometimes, but he wasn't cruel as to hurt her.
"So... Any chance you might like to go out sometime? I mean, it'd be just something simple, a trip to Hogsmeade. I'll buy you a drink, we could get lunch or something?"
For the first time since Lily had know James, and in all the times he had asked her out, this was the first time he had sounded sincere. He really sounded like he wanted to date her, not to win the victory of having Lily finally cave in.
"I'll think about it."
"Really?" James looked up from under his fringe that had flopped infront of one of his eyes.
"Really." Lily smiled at him.
"Brilliant! No, really, great. You let me know, ok? This makes the trip to Herbology and nearly getting busted by Sprout more than worth it!"
Lily began to chuckle, and then James' words formed properly in her head. Trip to Herbology? Busted by Sprout?
"What? You mean to say, you went and broke in to one of Sprout's glasshouses and STOLE the present for me?"
"I, err, well-"
"No, Potter. I really thought you were trying to make things right, that you really do like me. That you weren't just trying to butter me up for some massive humiliation. Why couldn't you do what any normal wizard would and conjure up some flowers or something. Surely you would even have enough smarts for that!"
"Lils, I-"
"I said NO, Potter!" Lily yelled at him. "You trying to explain yourself would just make me more mad, and again, you can't even use my name! Even after I just asked you to! I don't need you to steal, torment, insult or tease me for me to like you. Why can't you just treat me like a person?"
Lily grabbed her bag, her book, and stormed off, barging James with her shoulder as she marched up to the castle. James began to run after her, but she ignored him and shoved him away. He stood in the hallway, rejected once more, but this time, he didn't think it was funny.
"It was romantic! I risked everything to get her that bleeding shrub!" His arms crossed over on the table, his head buried between them, he whined into them as people ate their food in the Great Hall. His friends, being the best of the best, refused to eat until he had stopped feeling sorry for himself for ten minutes to eat something himself. They could have starved.
"Well, James, you didn't really put much effort into it, did you?" Remus stated, trying not to chortle.
"What do ya mean? I nearly got caught by Sprout for knocking off one of her plants! When I saw it, it was perfect for her! It had personality, it was cute!"
"What I think our friend means is, you didn't go to Hogsmeade and go through the stores, running back and forth between them, wondering what one she'd like better, thinking she might prefer something else, you know?" Sirius said.
James pondered on this. He really did take the easy way out. If he'd only not been so stupid and thought about it, he could have waited until the next Hogsmeade trip, which was the coming weekend. In the mean time, he could have started changing his attitude towards her, being nice, friendly jokes rather than stupid insults. Remembering how to make her laugh again...
"I'm a fool."
"Ahh, he's finally realised it." Sirius said, sighing, picking up his fork and shovelling turkey meat into his mouth.
"I nearly had her. She was considering it. Why can't I just grow up?"
"Because, you're 15 with a lot of hormones and don't know how to handle women." Lupin replied. Remus took the etiquette road when it came to eating, cutting off a small portion of food, chewing, and then swallowing. He wasn't popular with the girls, but he certainly wasn't what they thought of as disgusting.
"Tell me, Remus, how is it you know so much about women. Is there something you're not telling us, mate?" Sirius chomped and spoke at the same time.
"I have maturity. And I have sisters. Stop eating like a dog, Padfoot, you'll give yourself away." Remus added that part quietly.
In spite of Remus, Sirius chomped more and slurped at his pumpkin juice.
James sat for the rest of the meal in silence. He picked up his fork and began to eat, only bringing himself to look up and see if Lily had come to eat. She hadn't. She wasn't there when he walked into the Great Hall, and she didn't come in for dinner the whole time he sat there. He knew what he had done wrong, but he knew now what he had to do to fix it. He hoped he hadn't used up his last chance.
After dinner, everyone made their way back to their common rooms. The Gryffindors filed through the Fat Lady's portrait, most sitting down in the chairs to talk with friends or do last minute homework. James was like a meerkat on sentry duty, perched up, looking about the room for the flame-haired girl.
"She's not in here," a female voice knocked his concentration.
"Where is she?" James asked Lily's best friend, Rose.
"Not that it matters to you, but she's up in our room. She tore her way through the castle, burst in here and got to her room as quickly as possible. I followed her from the hallway up but she wasn't stopping for anyone. When she got up to the room, she threw her stuff on the floor, and looked at this plant in her hand. I thought she was going to hurl it out the window, the way she looked at it, but she put it on the window sill and flung herself on the bed. She's been there ever since."
"So she kept the bush?" James said in triumph, startling his friends and Rose.
"For now."
"That's long enough! Go tell her to come down."
Rose just laughed at James. She told him that Lily was refusing to come out until the next day, maybe the one after, once she got over the embarrassment. "If you want to have any chance with her, you need to do a lot of arse kissing, Potter. But I said nothing."
James didn't care how much he had to do. He had gone too far this time. But he would fix it. Instead of doing his share of the assignment, he convinced Remus to do it as it was a matter of the heart, and he sat up in his room. An early night to bed, but not an early night to sleep.
The bags under James' eyes were the first indicators that he hadn't slept well. That, and consistently falling asleep in class. By Charms in the afternoon, he had given up trying to concentrate, and his professor had given up on waking him up. It wasn't until the class was over that James put his first idea in to action.
Lily had gone to class, even though he hadn't expected her to. This was a sign that he should approach her. He waited for her outside the classroom, and wandered after her when she scoffed at him and walked on in disbelief.
"Lily! Look, I'm really sorry about yesterday. What I did was terrible, I should have put so much more effort in to it."
"Potter, if you think for one second that I'm going to stand here and listen to the trollpoo that comes out of your trap, you are sorely mistaken."
"Listen, please, I really need you to hear this."
Lily looked up at him, directly in his eyes, and he melted. Her eyes were glistening as tears formed. She gulped heavily to steady her voice.
"But I don't."
She turned on her heel and walked away, a slight heave from her shoulders indicating she had let the tears begin to fall.
James hung his head and slapped his palm to his forehead. But he was determined. For the next two days, he tried talking to her. Any chance he got, he would try make some form of conversation. He even asked Rose to pass on messages to Lily. She declined at first, but saw how desperate he was and finally gave in. She returned with a message of a slap to the face Every other attempt failed, and in the end, his friends had to lead him to his room, just so the girl could get some peace.
"Mate, you're acting like a stalker. There is no way she'll find that attractive."
"I know, but I need to have her hear me out. Even if she doesn't want to go out, I just need her to let me explain and accept the apology."
James was at his wits end. He would hardly eat, hardly sleep, his professors were starting to notice his lack of enthusiasm in class. Not that for the work, but for the pranks he and his friends would pull. For two days, he sat in class like a blank canvas, oblivious to everything around him. The only thing he responded to was the sound of Lily's voice when she answered a question in class, or when his friend's nudged him to say it was time to leave. The guys were starting to feel sorry for their friend, and were even considering teacher intervention. Until Sirius had a brilliant idea.
"Here, mate, take this. You'll know what to do with it." Sirius said with a wink, handing James a piece of parchment.
James unfolded the parchment in his lap. It was blank. He knew what it was. And he would use it the next day. He had a free period after lunch, and he would use it to his advantage.
While in his room, he grabbed everything he would need and put it in his book bag. Pointing his wand at the parchment Sirius had given him the day before, he muttered words he had spoken countless times over; I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.
The map sprung to life, and the little dots labelled with their owner's names appeared. James scanned the map, looking for a place that he could escape the castle through without being detected. There was one down near the dungeons, no one appeared to be down there. If he ran, he could make it there in a few minutes, but he didn't want to bring attention to himself. He would keep a steady pace and get there quickly as possible.
James' plan went perfectly. He reached the floor easily, mingling with the students who were on their way to Potions, and then dropping off in the corridor where his destination was. He checked the map again to make sure no one was on their way, saw he was clear and tapped his wand against it again, uttering "Mischief managed." The map disappeared and he stowed it away. He threw the Invisibility cloak over himself, making sure he was completely hidden, then moved a brick behind a statue that opened a hidden door.
Crawling through the space, he closed the door, took off his cloak and tucked it in his bag, moving through further until he reached the opening, like he had done so many times before, coming out in the Shrieking Shack. Now he moved quickly, dashing across the grass towards Hogsmeade.
Passing Zonko's, he moved towards shops that he thought were more to Lily's taste. Quite sure that she had enough stationary, he thought of things that she would like, not need. He knew her favourite chocolates, so picked up a big box of them. But he wanted something else, something more personal. Anyone could get her a box of chocolates. James kept walking past store after store, not interested in gag gifts, clothes, plants - the last time he gave her a plant, it had gotten him into this mess.
It wasn't until he passed a trinket shop that the perfect gift clicked. Walking in to the store, he picked up the object, paid for it, and left. Stopping in for a quick Butterbeer, he drank it down quickly before speeding back to the castle.
He got back in alright, bolting up to his dorm room and set about finishing his present, wrapping it up and awaiting the perfect time to give it to Lily.
It was when dinner was over that James had deemed it the perfect time to give his gift to Lily. He had kept the gift and the chocolates under his bed, thinking of nothing else through his last class. All through dinner, he carried the plan out in his head as he ate. Lily sat all the way at the other end of the Gryffindor table. She had no idea what was in store for her when she got upstairs.
The Common Room was relatively crowded, but with room to move. Lily was sitting in one of the cosy armchairs doing Transfiguration homework. There were few people around her, and the dorm was settled. James took the oppurtunity to go upstairs and get the presents, coming back down with them in hand. He ran a hand through his hair, brushed himself down and took a deep breath. It was this, or bust.
Strolling over to Lily, he stopped a few paces ahead of her and took another breath.
"Lily."
Lily twitched from hearing his voice say her name. She thought he had given up, he hadn't tried anything since Tuesday, it was now Friday. Curiosity got the better of her, and she thought she could face him without flying in to rage at him, having calmed down. She was still mad, but not as much as she was on Sunday.
Tilting her head up, James saw her face for the first time since he had confronted her on Monday. Every other time he had, she refused to look at him. His heart skipped a beat. He needed to keep his cool.
"Lily. I, I feel awful about everything that's happened. I want to apologise, to explain everything to you. I know you've been mad, and you have every right, but I really need you to hear what I have to say. But first, I'd like to give you this. It's the gift I should have given to you in the first place."
James handed over the chocolates and the wrapped present. She smiled a quick smile upon seeing that they were her favourites, and carefully put them to the side. The package felt heavy in her hands, but somewhat fragile. She took her time opening it, sliding out a gorgeous photo frame. It was rectangular silver, with silver vines and owls decorating around it. She loved it, it was one of the most beautiful gifts she'd ever received. But what was inside it was the best. It was a photo from 3rd year Christmas.
James, his friends, Lily and Rose were out in the grounds building snowwizards and witches. Remus had pulled out his camera that his parents had given to him for Christmas. James had grabbed Lily and pulled her into the photo with him, his arm around her shoulder, hers around his middle. They were laughing and he was tickling her. It was one of the few times that they had been in each others company without them bickering. It was one of her fondest Hogwarts memories, and he had kept the picture.
Tears welled up in her eyes, but James couldn't see. He was waiting for her reaction, fidgetting, hoping it was the right thing to have done. He swore it was.
The whole Common Room was watching, waiting in suspense. Rose was over with the boys, hoping Lily would put herself, and James out of misery.
After what felt like hours, Lily rose from her seat, holding the frame like it was precious.
"It's... amazing." Her voice wobbled.
"I'm so glad you like it. Can I-" But Lily stopped him before he could continue.
"I just... can't..." She trailed off, turning and moving away from James, around the chair and past the audience to her dorm stairs.
"Lily..." James said, barely making a sound as he watched her go.
"Lily!" Rose called, making to go after her, but Sirius pulled her back.
"Just let her go."
James stood motionless to the spot, until he realised all eyes on him.
"Well what the hell do you thing you lot are looking at?" He bellowed, and everyone soon turned back to what they were doing. James clenched his hands, but released them again. He turned around, walked over to the fireplace, put his arm on the mantlepiece and rested his head against it, looking into the empty spot where the burning wood would normally go.
Remus walked over and put his hand on his friend's shoulder. "How about you head off to bed, mate. No point stirring about it all night."
"I'm not going to bed until I set this right. I'll sit in her chair until she comes down and then I'll wait there until she wants to hear me out!"
Remus just nodded, knowing James wasn't going to budge. He patted the shoulder his hand was on and bid his mate goodnight, indicating to the others guys that they should join him in the room rather than wait around.
Lily had made a break for the stairs, but only got part way around before she stopped, panting, crying, clutching the photoframe to her chest. The room was dead silent, and she heard someone move, then the murmur of someone's voice, James' afterwards declaring his plans to wait for her in her armchair until she was ready. Low sobs escaped her, and she heard the movement of people following her trail, and moved swiftly to her room before anyone caught her.
James waited until his friends were gone. He walked over to the chair Lily was occupying and slumped down in it, surrounded by her homework and books. He wasn't budging. He wouldn't move from that chair until Lily came downstairs and told him she wanted the explanation. All weekend, he would sit, and if she still didn't want to hear, then he would wait there all the next week. Beyond if he had to. He had hurt her, and he was going to make it right, no matter what.
The Common Room slowly became more empty as the time wore on. James had no idea who had gone, he just kept his gaze fixed to the one spot on the wall ahead of him. The sky grew darker and he knew that the time must be getting on. Lucky she picked a comfy chair, James thought.
Hours had passed and he knew that he must have been the only person in the room. His friends would leave him for the night, but would be back in the morning to convince him to leave his post. He would deal with them then.
Every now and again he would hear a creak, and would sit upright, turn and see that it was nothing, rather than the girl he had hoped would be coming down to see him.
Lily had been sitting in her room, curled up in her bed. She didn't say a word to any of the girls as they came into the room, just pretended to sleep. When she knew they were no longer awake, she sat up in her bed, the moonlight from the window and the candle light next to her bed illuminated the photoframe and the tiny tree. She looked at them both, smiling at the picture as James squeezed her closer, tickling her ribs every now and again, Lily laughing. She would try tickle him back, but he was too strong. This present was so thoughtful, so honest. But, she figured the bush was given with good intentions, too, after she'd had time to think about it. Plus, she was rather fond of it.
A thought dawned on her as she sat there. She wondered if James was true to his statement and was still sitting downstairs. No doubt, she thought. He was as stubborn as she. Quietly, she slipped out of bed, tiptoed across the floor and opened the door, closing it behind her. Her feet were silent as she walked down the stairs. She saw James's hand on the arm rest of the chair, the back of it almost completely facing her. At this point, Lily wanted him to know she was there. She made no point of being silent, but it wasn't until she walked in front of him did he notice.
"Oh my gosh! Lily..." James looked up at her.
"Sorry to scare you, Potter. I've..." She chose her words carefully. "I've come to talk."
James immediately stood up. He was so glad she had come that it was hard for him not to scoop her up in his arms and kiss her.
"I'm so, so sorry Lily. It wasn't mean to plan out this way. I wanted to give you that present, but it was the wrong way. I should have put more thought in to it, not just rushed out and got the first thing I thought of on a whim. I'm sorry. I'm just a dolt. I promise, if you never want me to be in the same room as you, let alone talk to you, I'm sure I can arrange that. I really do want to date you, and I know I've been incredibly daft about it, but I never thought, just acted. I should have thought about what you wanted."
He took a pause to catch his breath, and Lily decided to put her two pence worth in.
"I understand all that. You boys just go and act off whatever those hormones tell you. James, look... I've liked you for a while now. I don't hate you. I just hate how you go about things with me. You treat me like I'm a prize to be won, but I'm not. You can be a fantastic guy. That day in the snow, and tonight's display are just a few of the ways that show it. You're young, I know, but it doesn't mean you need to be a fool. But, now I've thought it through, I know I overreacted on some accounts."
James smirked, embarrassed. "We're all fools in love, I suppose." He said, hoping she had taken it in jest.
"I suppose we are."
James' head shot up. He grinned, and he moved a few paces ahead so he was close to her. A wave of her red hair had fallen across her forehead, and he hesistantly brushed it behind her ear.
"I love you, Lily Evans. I'll never be such a sod again."
Lily smiled and touched his arm, running her fingertips along the forearm. "I love you, James Potter. Even if you are bloody fool sometimes."
James and Lily chuckled, and James moved in, pulling her closer, wrapping one arm around her waist and his hand at the back on her neck, moving in to kiss her gently on the lips. Lily reciprocated, her arms curling around to his back, feeling sparks flying and her stomach turn.
Pulling away, James smiled at her, and she flushed and smiled, turning her face away. James reached his hand to her chin and gently turned it back to him.
"Any other requests you'd like to make before I kiss you again, Lily?"
"Just one. Call me 'Evans'."