My war had just begun. My own war, a war I fought eagerly, with passion, a war over something I loved so dearly.
But this war of mine- it wasn't fought with sword and spear. It was fought with heart and mind. Body and soul. Every passing moment, inside and out, the battle raged on.
I didn't want to lose. I wanted you to come home to me. I wanted to hold you again, kiss you again, just like I had before. I wanted it all so much.
Maybe, just maybe I wanted too much.
Garfakcy.
Garfakcy.
My Garfakcy.
Nothing's the same without you.
It's all empty.
The meaning is gone.
The fighting had stopped. The sun had begun to shine again. We all began to smile again. One day you left. A short errand, you assured me.
But that one day you left, you never came back.
Of course I didn't know. It was just a small hold up. Or so I told myself. And so I waited. Waited. Watched that day turn to night, watched that night fade into the morning of a new day. Day passed over and over. Day turned to week. Week turned to month. Months and months passed, seasons changed, a new year came and still you were gone.
And then one day I sat up and walked out the door.
Just like that.
Sometimes I wonder whether I remembered to lock up or not.
Back then, I didn't care. My only thought was to find you.
Town to town, city to city I traveled, searching. Asking anyone that passed if they had caught word of you. I spent long nights sitting in taverns, listening to the talk of travelers going over their conversations, sifting them for anything that could lead me to you.
Chantel. Draqueen. Memphis. They were all the same. Nothing. Nothing at all.
I wandered everywhere looking for you.
No sign. No sign at all.
Finally I returned home and cried.
I doubt I had ever cried before.
Everything was so quiet without you. Deathly quiet to be sure. No more sounds of the door flinging open in the morning, your voice calling me out of bed. No more cries of, "Gawd, look at this mess!" resonating down the halls. Nothing. It was so lonely.
There were night where I lay awake, wondering if you ever knew. Wondering if you ever knew just how much I loved you, just how much I cared for you. I wondered whether you ever realized that sometimes at night I would kneel by your bedside and softly kiss you in your sleep. I wondered if you would still be here if I had let you know….
"HEY! Watch where you're going!"
I shook myself as a shrill human voice pulled me from my daydream. Looking down, I realized I had bumped into some kid as we passed on the street.
"Sorry about that," I muttered, watching him vanish into the crowd. Humans could be so rude sometimes. I shook my head.
All the while the market's crowd swirled about me, going from stall to stall, looking at all things the shop keepers had to sell. The sounds of store owners yelling about some new item or incredible bargain they had to offer, the dust flying up from the dry ground as people kicked it up and around you. It was the same scene every time I came to this place.
Maybe it was because I was bored. Maybe it was because they had some interesting things for sale. Maybe it was because I was still looking for him.
Even after all this time.
I guess I just couldn't give up, even if finding him was impossible.
It had been so long. Too long, in fact. His medication would have worn out by now. Once more time would have swept him away.
I looked up once more. Maybe to avoid bumping into someone else. But probably just to scan the crowd.
Several young men passed by me. If I remembered correctly (and I honestly hope I did), Garfakcy would probably be about that age by now. But none of them looked anything like him. I sighed.
Impossible, I reminded myself, but there was no harm in hoping.
Because sometimes optimism pays off. Just like it did just then.
It was like something out of a fairy tale. Suddenly everything seemed so quiet. But not the frightening quite I had endured for so long. It was more a peaceful sort of quiet. The crowd seemed to thin, everything, everyone seemed to slow down for a moment.
Beside one of the many stands that lined the dirt road, stood a boy with emerald green eyes. His hair, blonde, orange, and a chocolate brown all at the same time, was tied in a loose ponytail and fell easily down his back.
It had to be him.
It just had to be.
The crowd thickened again. He turned and began to walk away, his thin frame almost melting back into the crowd.
I almost shouted, almost found myself shoving through the masses of people to get to him.
No! NO! He couldn't go! Not like this! Not like this…I had to know. I just had to…
"GARFAKCY!!!"
I couldn't explain why I cried out. I doubted he would ever hear me through this din. Blame it on desperation.
But he heard me. He stopped for a moment and just stared in my direction.
It had to be.