This story was in my head for awhile and it was driving me mad as i am trying to write another story but i just had to get it on paper and share it with you. I was inspired by my Tiff who also helped me with the title so thank you Tiff very much for that and for putting up with me as well lol.

So this is for you Tiff xxxx

Understanding My Son

It was early on Saturday morning and Ray Kowalski was putting around his apartment. When he heard a knocking sound coming from his bedroom closet.

Frowning at the sound he opened the door cautiously to find an older looking Mountie staring back at him.

Jumping back Ray clutched at his chest, "Jesus who the hell are you and the hell did you get in my closet"?

Blushing slightly the Mountie spoke, "Sorry son I didn't mean to startle you I thought it best to knock"?

Still shaking slightly with fright Ray made carry on gestures, "Yes so who are you and again how the hell did you get in there"?

"Well son if you would kindly let me finish my name is Sergeant Robert Fraser R.C.M.P and

I would like to talk to you"

Feeling the blood drain from his face Ray had to sit down, "Fraser, Sergeant Robert Fraser, You mean your Ben's dad, I mean Fraser's dad"?

Stepping out of the closet Robert stood straighter, "Yes son I am and you can call him Ben I can tell how you feel about my son"?

Ray went from feeling cold and pale to red hot and blushing, "Am thanks I think and how do you feel about that sir, Sergeant am what do I call you"?

"Bob will be fine son, Bob will be fine would you mind if we talk for a bit I feel you should know some things to understand Benton a bit more", he asked thinking Ray might tell him to leave.

Thinking he was going mad here he was on a Saturday morning talking to his partners dead fathers ghost, well it was a Fraser couldn't get any weirder could it?

Getting off the bed Ray nodded, "Sure am would you like some bark tea or something or coffee I have the good stuff or milk, Ben likes milk"

Laughing lightly Bob smiled, "I don't need to drink anymore but I'd love to sit at a table with some tea if you don't mind"?

Heading towards the kitchen, "No, no am make yourself at home I'll just put the water on to boil"

He could feel Bob's eyes wondering as they headed to the kitchen Ray wondered what Bob was going to say to him.

Sitting at the table Bob put his hands around the cup of tea looking around, "Thank you it was very kind of you"

Sipping his coffee waving off the compliment, "Its nothing, so what is it you want to tell me about Ben then"?

"You have a very nice apartment here Benton was right it is very homely", Bob said stalling for time.

"Is that deflecting thing a Fraser thing or What", Ray said with a smile.

Smiling Bob laughed, "Sorry son OK I'll start but I must warn you it may turn into storytelling mode"?

Rolling his eyes Ray chuckled, "As long as it doesn't turn into long Inuit stories about dying, decaying or what not we're fine"

Nodding, "Very well son I'll endeavor to try not to then"

Taking a long breath Bob started, "As I said I'm Benton's father and at the start I was there all the time I barely left the boy down. He was just so small and he had these eyes they were the bluest I'd ever seen. His smile was worth opening your eyes you know. Caroline and I wanted him to have a brother or sister but Caroline couldn't have anymore sadly"

"You know I was actually there for all his firsts and there are just no words to describe the feeling you get seeing your child speak for the first time. Crawl, pull himself up or walk I must say I shed a tear that day but don't tell Benton I told you that"

"Don't worry Bob I won't carry on", Ray replied softly.

Smiling Bob did, "Then I had to go back on the long patrols and came the miserable father. I could be away months at a time only talking over the radio or through my journals which Benton got after I died"

Shaking his head sadly, "Watching your son grow up so fast and missing so much is horrible I should have done something about it. You know I took Benton out to the woods to to teach him to light a fire"

"I left him alone to do it well I was always in eyesight of him. He went and got everything he needed even stuff I never thought of to use and in under five minutes he had a blazing fire any Mountie would be proud of"

Laughing harder now, "You know what he did then, he said dad you can come out now water is boiling for the tea"

Ray laughed with him, "He did"

Still laughing, "Oh he did and he made it himself as well and it was the best tea I ever had"

Clearing his throat Ray spoke, "I bet it made you want more of that kind of time with Ben"?

Nodding, "It did yes and we did when we could did you know that Benton had his own sled dog and sled at the age of six but by god he was made for it"

"The worst day came when i had to tell him his mum was never coming home. When he asked why I just told him the angels needed her to look after the babies who went straight to heaven he believed me"

"Poor Benton wept for what seemed like years and years I held him too terrified that he was going to be taken from me as well. If I had been a good enough husband and father Caroline would never have been taken from me never been killed"

Ray reached over to cover Bobs hand forgetting he was a ghost, "It was NOT your fault that scumbag did what he did you hear me"?

"It was if I had done something to stop him in the first place I", Bob couldn't finish that sentence.

Bob continued on, "When I dropped Benton off at my parents house I wondered if I did the right thing as Benton cried at first. Then later it was excited phone calls and letters about his adventures with his grandparents"

"They had softened over the years no longer harsh just a good mix now for him. Hugs when needed strong when needed. My father taught him guitar and languages and my mother taught him about manners and cooking and allsorts he needed for life. I was so utterly proud of him you know"

"The day Benton told me he wanted to be a Mountie I could have burst with pride Buck and I took him out to celebrate"

"Of course you know he finished top in everything he did the academy and again so proud"

"Years go by and we hardly talked we do what we can you know and then my parents pass away and time marches on again"

"then Gerard that BASTARD how could he do that to me. He was one of my best friends. He hires someone to kill me, when Benton figures it out he tries to kill him as well"

"The R.C.M.P should have backed him up should have instead they shun him to Chicago, but do you know what"?

"What", Ray listened interested.

"It was one of the best things to ever happen to him. He got Ray Vecchio a brother figure with a family noisy but a loving family and then there is is you"

"You are perfect for my son strong, loyal one of the best men I have ever had the honour of seeing interact with my son. You love him with a full heart and soul. It pours out of you everywhere like the brightest star in the sky and all for my boy my pride and joy"

"Not like that harlot Victoria she destroyed him he stood in that rat trap of an apartment filled with burning candles crying his broken heart out all I wanted to do was reach out and take him in my arms and hug him he became that six year old again. And all I said was all you need in life is a second chance and your not going to get it. But I was wrong he did he got you"

Ray was ready to burst from the heat in his face, "I do love him very much and I hope that he loves me the same I'd never hurt him like that I'd rather die then do that"

Smiling brightly at Ray's statement Bob continued, "Oh that you do not have to worry about son Benton loves you never doubt that"

"So I hope you understand my son and why he is they way he is at times. Some walls still need to be kicked down you'll do it son, you'll do it might I make one suggestion"?

"And that would be", Ray asked.

"Buy a house my grandchildren are not growing up in an apartment", Bob said as he left to out the way he came in.

Standing shouting after in in a high pitched voice, "What do you mean grandchildren"?

Just then Ben walked through the door, "Ray is everything alright you sound worried"?

Turning to face Ben, "I'm, I'm fine Ben just what did your dad mean about grandchildren"?

Ben was shocked, "My dad was here oh dear I'm sorry Ray"

"S'okay, just tell him to give notice next time OK, and we have to talk about this grandchildren business"

Ray pulled Ben over to the couch with a kiss, "Oh Dear"

Bob smiled as he closed the closet door, "I love you Son"

The End

I hope you enjoyed this please feel free to review hope you have a wonderful day x