Tarrant remembers his beloved Alice on the first anniversary of her death. Songfic to Alone In This Bed by Framing Hanley. Enjoy.
Tarrant had been sleeping fitfully for several hours. He kept waking, and something felt off. He knew what it was, and it was killing him. He was missing his beloved Alice. It had been a year since he had shared his bed with her. She had been slain by a rebel gang of the Red Queens former followers. Yes, she had fought hard, as had he, but it wasn't enough. Her life had been stolen and Tarrant was finding it increasingly impossible to sleep with only a ghost, a whisper, a memory of his fallen angel. The part that makes it harder is when he is trapped in the realm between wakefulness and unconsciousness; he thinks he can feel her warm, sweet breath on his pale neck. Every time, he would smile and roll over to try and hold her, only to be disappointed once again. Every time it happened it got harder to deal with.
Waking up without you, it doesn't feel right
To sleep with only memories is harder every night
And sometimes I think I can feel you
Breathing on my neck
The Mad Hatter crawled out of their –his- bed and stepped out onto the balcony that Alice had so loved. He stared at the stars and began to cry. He didn't sob, he didn't shake; that would come later. Right now the tears just rolled down his insipid face.
"Whoever you are," he whispered to whatever god might be listening "I beg you, please let me see my beloved once more. Just one more time…" Then he spoke to Alice. "Wherever you are, I will find a way to hold you once more, I swear it."
Tarrant continued to stare at the stars until the pain in his heart became unbearable. Only when he felt he would collapse did he return to his bed. Alone.
Tonight, I'm reaching out to the stars
I think that He owes me a favor
It doesn't matter where you are
I'll hold you again
Stumbling back into his room, Tarrant shuffled into the washroom. As soon as the door was closed behind him, he collapsed on the floor and started to sob. He knew that the only thing that would soothe him any time soon would be his Alice coming in and telling him that it would all be okay, just like she did when The Madness overtook him and he did something terrible. He wished she hadn't damned him to sleeping alone every night. He wished he could touch her once more; feel every plane of her body as he made love to her. The bed felt too large and cold without her to warm him in the night. Why had she left him so alone for so long?
I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
Don't leave me alone in this bed
Not tonight, not tomorrow
He knew deep in his shattered heart that he would never be able to remember her without agony tearing through his chest. If he could make it right and bring her back, or if Time would allow him to return to that day, he would've brought her back by now, but Fate was not so kind to him. Time and Fate were close brothers and neither ever forgave him for killing Time so often while waiting for his Alice to return, and now they were exacting their revenge.
I've got the feeling that this will never cease
Living in these pictures, it never comes with ease
I swear, if I could make this right
You'd be back by now
Tarrant forced himself to his feet and stared at the mirror. His mind was playing tricks on him, he knew it; for he could see stars reflected around him and one of them was moving closer to him. He squinted at the moving star. Something seemed familiar about it. As it drew closer, he realized that it wasn't a star, it was an angel. His angel. His Alice.
Angel-Alice stopped just outside of arms length, he just barely couldn't reach her, and seemed rooted to the spot. She smiled a sad smile at him and mouthed the words "I love you" to him before fading away.
"No!" he screamed. "Come back! I need you!"
The gods owed him a favor, and just as he was about to hold his Alice again, they took her back. Unable to contain his grief and anger, Tarrant howled to the stars. I was a scream that showed just how much he needed his Alice.
Tonight, I'm screaming out to the stars
He knows He owes me a favor
It doesn't matter where you are
You'll be mine again
That he couldn't even hear her voice again drove him over the edge. Tarrant left the washroom and entered his workshop. With amazing quickness, he fashioned himself a strong rope. After it was made, he stared at it through fuzzy eyes. He couldn't stand being alone anymore. After being so close to her once more, only to have her torn away again was too much. He couldn't take it anymore. He wasn't ever going back to his empty bed. He wished it didn't have to be this way, but he couldn't take it, he had to be with her again.
I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
Don't leave me alone in this bed
Tarrant hesitated briefly as he thought of the friends he and Alice had once shared. He hadn't spoken to them much in the past year; they reminded him to much of her. He realized that he had been crazy not to go with them to fetch her mangled body back. He told them "Leave me, just in case." They had all understood.
What about the friends that we had?
We've been crazy not to go
Leave me in case and I'll
Wishing for the last time that he could have his Alice back in this realm, he stood on a stool and attached his rope to the sturdy light fixture and fashioned a loop on the free end. He glanced through the doorway at his empty bed and wished things could have been different, that he had never been alone in that bed. He didn't want to be alone anymore.
He couldn't be alone.
I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
And don't leave me alone in this bed
Tarrant slipped the loop over his head and looked at the bed one last time. A single tear fell from his eye and splashed onto the floor.
"I'm coming Alice," he whispered.
And then he kicked the stool.
Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone in this bed
Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone in this bed
PLEASE READ VERY IMPORTANT! I want you all to understand that I do not support suicide! This fic is purely for entertainment and I would never advise someone to take such drastic steps over a lost loved one!