Disclaimer: I own nothing of C.S. Lewis' Narnia or any of the movies that followed. Takes place after the events of The Voyage of the Dawn Treader from Caspian's perspective. The movie really brought home to me just how devastated and alone Caspian was after they had left the first time, and after Ed and Lu left the second time – they had been with Caspian for about year at this point – I really don't think he got over it.
Anyway, just a kind of dark, depressing drabble of Caspian's and Drinian's thoughts after the Pevensies were gone.
Those Who Are Left Behind
Captain Drinian was really starting to worry about his young king.
It had been over a week since King Edmund, Queen Lucy, their cousin Eustace, and Reepicheep had left him standing on the edge of Aslan's country.
Drinian himself didn't know what had happened on the island – or even if Aslan's country was an island. King Caspian had returned, alone in the rowboat, almost a day after the five of them had set out into the Sea of Lilies together. He'd told them all, his face completely blank and devoid of expression that they had indeed reached Aslan's country and spoken with Aslan himself.
"Reepicheep has gone on," he'd told them simply, much to the consternation and dismay of the entire crew. There was a pause while Caspian looked out and back towards the East. Drinian had become frightened at the longing he observed in his king's eyes. "And Ed and Lu have gone home," he all but whispered.
The crew turned to follow their king's eyes.
"I wonder what it's like, in that world of theirs," Rhince wondered aloud. They had all heard Eustace expound upon the wonders of the British Empire time and time again.
The others nodded assent, then after a brief moment they all went back to work.
Drinian paid them no mind, he was watching his king.
Caspian hadn't even noticed the reactions of his crew. Still staring fixedly at the East, he moved slowly from Drinian's side and over to the railing, his hands coming up to grip the sides of the Dawn Treader. And there he stood, for hours, just ignoring everything around him while Drinian ordered the crew and oversaw their return to Ramandu's island still several days to the west of them.
Only when they could no longer see the lilies of the Silver Sea did Caspian blink and turn away. He faced Drinian for a moment, and the older man could see absolutely nothing in the king's dark eyes for a moment. It appeared as if Caspian was no longer there, and only his body had returned from the country of the Emperor Over the Sea.
"We should arrive at Ramandu's island in a little under a week, Your Majesty," Drinian said brusquely, trying to push away the feeling that he was talking to a ghost.
Caspian didn't say anything for a moment. Then, "very good, Captain," and he walked off down the stairs and into the heart of the ship, towards his cabin.
Drinian sighed. Nothing good could come of this. The king had gone to his cabin to brood.
Caspian walked slowly down the darkened hallway, listening to the creaks of the ship's hull. He reached the cabin doors and nudged them open, standing immobile in the entranceway, watching the dimly lit room as the last of the evening greyness darkened into night.
Lucy's vest was thrown across one of the chairs, papers were strewn across Caspian's table bearing both his handwriting and Edmund's, and Ed's torch was standing, upright and alone on the shelf next to Susan's bow and arrows.
Lucy had cleaned the bow just that morning.
Caspian's hands clenched tightly around the doorknobs.
Eustace's extra pair of clothes, his English clothes, would be still folded neatly in his hammock. Along with his journal, that infernal thing that he'd refused to put down for the first few months.
They'd left him again. Left him behind.
Caspian carefully closed the doors and walked over to one of the chairs beneath the windows. He slowly sat down and watched as the shadows lengthened around the room.
He watched the pictures, watched their familiar faces, the faces of the only family he had ever known, the only family he had ever wanted to belong to.
He had built this cabin and had these specific images painted in order to take all four of them with him wherever he went. Their stories had been with him since childhood, but meeting them had made those same stories and indefinable part of himself.
He watched Lucy standing under that lamppost, meeting Tumnus all over again. He saw Peter's sword, Rhindon, glinting on the other side of the room. Susan's arrows were a spot of red in the darkness and Ed's neat handwriting filled sheet after sheet of paper on his desk.
And there they were, grown up, older than he was now, and so beautiful and magnificent chasing after the Stag that would take them away from Narnia.
He wondered how everyone had felt, at the end of the Golden Age, when they hadn't come back, when they just vanished off the face of the Earth and left their people, their friends, their family behind.
Caspian hadn't thought he'd get over it that first time. He'd watched their faces fall, the pain in their eyes as they were told they had to go back to England. He remembered Susan's tears, the complete resignation in Peter's gaze.
And then he flashed back to Ed's and Lu's faces just hours ago. They had known all along that this would be their last visit here, he realized, and they'd hidden it from him for days.
Caspian knew that he'd been trying to deny it. He knew that he'd been secretly trying to fool himself that they would be able to stay for years this time, like they had their first visit.
They would be able to stay with him.
He heard Ed's snarky voice in his head, telling him to get a grip on himself, that there was no use being all mushy about things you couldn't change.
He snorted to himself. Ed never showed too much emotion unless it was literally the end of the world.
Lucy's voice was consoling him, telling him that they would always be with him, and he saw Susan's gracious, welcoming smile, and heard Peter's hearty laughter at the sight of a king of Narnia crying over having to say good-bye to his friends for a while.
Caspian rolled his eyes, but he stood up and made his way over to his desk, lighting some of the lanterns hanging around.
He carefully moved Lucy's cordial back to its case and behind the glass in his cabinet. He gently placed Edmund's torch on the other side.
And then he looked over the papers on his desk. Ed and him had been working the last few days on how to reintegrate the Lone Islands back into the Narnian crown, as well as what to do about the new discovered islands throughout the Eastern Sea.
But mostly Ed had been lecturing and drawing furious diagrahms as he went over for Caspian the political, legal, environmental and social reforms enacted by him and his siblings after the terrible oppression of the White White's reign.
Caspian had learned a lot from Peter and Susan the last time he had seen them, but that visit had been so short in comparison with this one. Ed had had months to go over things with him. Sometimes Lucy chimed in as well, but as Ed had explained and Caspian had seen for himself, Lucy wasn't really interested in the mundane aspects of ruling.
"She's a great queen and a fierce warrior," Edmund had told him, looking and sounding much wiser than he had any right to given his young appearance, "just don't expect her to know the first thing about the Legal Code."
Caspian smiled sadly. Trust Ed to always have a snarky or a witty comment no matter what the situation.
He moved some of the papers around, trying to stack them neatly, giving himself something to do to alleviate the silence in the room. It wasn't the good kind of silence, the peaceful kind; it was the kind that said he was alone
Caspian moved aside several of the maps lying on the right hand of the desk when he stopped. A small paper had just fluttered out and to the floor. He bent to pick it up, and as the light caught the writing on top he froze, his hand clutching that paper for dear life. It was a letter, written in two different hands….written only hours ago.
Dear Caspian,
You really don't need to sound so formal Lu!
Honestly Edmund, wait your turn. This is the only letter he'll receive from us and you're filling it up by bickering with me.
It takes two to bicker, Lu.
ANYWAY, we just wanted to write you a short letter, Caspian, because we know that by the time you're reading this, we'll have gone already. We've known for some time that this will be our last visit here, and we've both suspected that Aslan's country is as far as we can go. He's waiting for us there.
Wow, way to sound uplifting and cheerful Lu. Weren't you the one who told me we're trying to make him feel better with this letter? I'm taking over.
So, you have all of the notes we made together. I hope they help. Over to you left I also included some suggestions from Pete and Su. We've talked a lot about what you'll have to do to re-structure Narnia, and most of it you've already done in your three short years on the throne. You have done a tremendous job and I am sure that I speak for all four of us when I say that you have our sincere gratitude and thanks, as well as our never-ending respect and admiration for all that you have done in service to our country.
We hope that you'll be happy Caspian. Try and find a lovely queen for yourself, and settle down.
Yes, what about Lilliandil? Ramandu's daughter? She was stunning!
Ed!
What? She was!
Boys.
Go for it Caspian! Pete and I are rooting for you!
Just don't tell Susan.
Oh….yeah.
And make sure that you're taking some time out for yourself Caspian. You looked wonderful as always, but so pale and serious when we first saw you again. The High King, Queen Susan, King Edmund and I used to love spending summer nights with the fawns on the Dancing Lawns. Or perhaps visit the dwarves. They're caves are lovely and cool and beautiful. I always found gardening to be very relaxing, although Susan was more partial to music and swimming in the Sea. Ed would always vanish somewhere with a book and Pete would go out to the training yards and hit something.
I'm sure Caspian doesn't need that advice Lu.
Shush Ed. And Caspian dear, just one more thing….I'm a bit hesitant to bring it up it's just that I'm worried…Try and live Caspian. Don't spend your life wishing that things were different, wishing that you could be in our world with us, or that we could be in Narnia with you. It is the hardest thing to learn, that of being happy and satisfied and complete with your own life…..
We still haven't learned it.
No we haven't, but I don't want that for you Caspian. You are our brother, our friend, one of the best men I have ever known. I don't want you pining away for a mirage that when it comes down to it is merely smoke and mirrors. We love you, we always will. And we are not gone from you, we are merely on a different path, marching far away.
One day we will see you again. Have faith in that…..Oh and Eustace says hey. You never know Cas, Eustace might be able to come back someday. You'll be an old man and Eustace will be the same as ever….annoying—
ED!
Sorry, but you have to admit that's a funny image. Although he is definitely much improved and has become a hero in his own right—
We're digressing.
So we are. So here we part Caspian, until Aslan brings us together again. We will bring the news of all you have accomplished to the ears of the High King and we wish you all the best in everything that you do. Farewell my brother.
Farewell Caspian.
Edmund Rex, Lucy Regina
And Caspian could no longer stop the silent progression of tears that ran down his face.