So…I was listening to some music just now and The Band Perry's If I Die Young came up and I immediately thought of a Calzona songfic…so I wrote it. It's my first song fic and my first one-shot so play nice.
Disclaimer: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any characters *sigh* sadly.
If I die young, bury me in satin, lay me down on a bed of roses, sink me in the river at dawn send me away with the words of a love song.
Arizona turned her head away as the casket was lowered into the earth; all of this was too unreal but here she stood on the edge of the grave, her hands clutched onto a bouquet of flowers…roses. There were no more tears; she had cried her eyes dry throughout this six month ordeal. From the discovery of the lupus, to the nights spent in a hospital bed holding her hand when the pain and sickness racked her body to the night she sprinted through the hospital halls after Mark had informed her of the death to those nights sitting in the once occupied room of the house sobbing uncontrollably.
Arizona pulled her wife into her; even though her tears were done Callie's were not. She cried every day. Callie always cried covertly: when she thought Arizona was sleeping, in the shower at the hospital and the few times she was in an on-call room by herself. She moved her head from Arizona's shoulder as the pastor took up a handful of dirt and sprinkled in over the coffin. A sob escaped from her lips and she felt Arizona tighten her grip around her shoulders.
Lord, make me a rainbow; I'll shine down on my mother. She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colours. Life ain't always what you think it ought to be. Ain't even gray but she buries her baby.
Arizona released the bouquet of roses over the grave and watched as it fell onto the casket, the casket of her eight year old daughter. She bowed her head and offered up a silent prayer to whatever higher power that exists. More sobs fall from the woman in her arms. Mark places his hand on Arizona's shoulder and tries to turn her but she does not move…she cannot move. She stood there recalling the birth of her baby girl, undoubtedly one of the best and most miraculous days of her entire existence. She remembered the pride she felt when Lucy placed the little girl in her hands. She also remembered the fear, the fear that this day would come. It was then that she promised her daughter that she would never allow anything to hurt her. But she failed and that left a stabbing pain in her heart each time she thought about it.
Callie's tears were coming to a stop but her body still shook. It was almost impossible to control with the amount of grief that she was facing. Ana Gabriela was six when they found out that she had lupus but it only began destroying the child six months ago. Throughout it all Callie tried to remain strong for the little girl but it turned out that Ana was her mothers' rock. Throughout her sickness she held her hope…even when it was obvious that she would not make it. She reminded her Mama every day that when she left she would be in heaven watching over her mothers. It amazed Callie how positive her little girl could be, even when her body was consumed in pain. That was something she got from her Mommy, Arizona was positive in the hardest situations. Callie was grateful that while her daughter looked like a smaller replica of herself she was all Arizona…and it was not just the colourful rainbows and sunshine; the child was her Mommy in her Mami's body.
The sharp knife of a short life, well I've had just enough time.
One hundred months. That's exactly how long Ana was alive; she was eight years and four months when she died. That was too short. When Arizona saw her child's face for the first time she had planned much more than eight years with her. She was prepared for the first day of school jitters; she had planned to attend sporting matches, dance or music recitals; she was planning her first date speech, her sexuality speech, whether boyfriends or girlfriends; she had the perfect schools picked out for her. But when she thought about it even though it was just eight years she realized that she had learnt a lot from her little girl. She had learnt how to take things in stride; to look at the positives and not the negatives; to be grateful for the things you have at that moment and not what you do not have; to love and accept life and the people she was blessed with. It was at that moment that Arizona felt Mark's hand on her shoulder. She held her wife tighter and turned around. Arizona walked further away from her daughter's grave as the last shovelfuls of dirt were thrown unto the little mound.
Callie felt herself moving away from her daughter, not spiritually or emotionally but physically and it hurt her. She had spent her time loving her daughter with all that she had. She had spent her time ensure that the child was happy and safe. She had spent her daughter's life ensuring that she was comfortable…especially her last days. And although the eight years and four months was definitely too short, Callie felt that it was well spent; her daughter was happy, she loved her mothers and people she was surrounded by and more importantly she loved her life…even with the bad hand that she was dealt. Callie remembered her daughter's last words as she sat beside her bed. "It'll be okay, Mami. Eight years was a lot…it might not be how long we wanted but I've done all I can and this is it. I love you and tell Mommy I love her too." Callie broke down in tears at how mature her baby was, how much she had grown in the six months while her body deteriorated each day. Callie whispered a prayer over her daughter's almost lifeless body before her wife burst through the door and their daughter took her last breath. She was gone but her time was just enough.