A/N:
Based on a lovely pixiv comic with illust_id: 56951545, which you should totally read if you know Japanese. The concept - Amuro's eyes reflecting 'strong feelings' in the original comic and something similar in this fic - is what I've grabbed, but the plot is completely different, so you can (hopefully) enjoy both.
Of course, we're probably not supposed to treat the hair and eye colours in anime as totally accurate considering that most characters are Japanese and will likely have some shade of brown eyes, but assume this is an alternate universe where out-there eye colours are totally normal for anyone (it's not like say, purple eyes are common in real life anyways).
Since 'Furuya Rei' is Amuro's real name and this is in Amuro's POV, I've done my best to use Rei throughout this fic, so please leave a comment if I messed up and used 'Amuro' somewhere (I still think of him as Amuro), or for any other errors for that matter.
In the Eyes of the Beholder
Rei didn't realize that there was something wrong with his eyes until he was five years old. To be fair, eye colour wasn't something that people commented on that often, unless the colour was particularly stunning.
But anyways, Rei only realized something was strange when he smiled up at his favourite caretaker at the orphanage with her red-brown eyes and chirped, "We have the same eye colour, Kuresa-neechan!" only to get a confused look in response.
"Rei-kun," she said in a bemused tone, cocking her head to the side, "You have grey eyes!"
And Rei frowned, because he might be only (already) five years old, but he knew enough colours to recognize the colour of his own eyes.
"No I don't," Rei said stubbornly with all the confidence of a precocious five year-old child.
Kuresa gave Rei a troubled look and took out a pocket mirror from the purse at her side.
"What do you see?" she asked, popping open the mirror and turning it to Rei.
He pouted and stared into the mirror, but all he saw was the same sight as always – red-brown eyes staring out from under brown strands of hair.
"The same eyes as you," Rei responded.
"Hm…" Kuresa murmured, looking more troubled than before, before raising her voice, "Kurokawa-san!"
Kurokawa, the elderly head caretaker of the orphanage, said his goodbyes to the children he had been playing with and hobbled over to Kuresa and Rei.
"Kurokawa-san," Kuresa repeated when Kurokawa came close enough, "I think Rei-kun may be colourblind. He thinks that my eye colour and his are the same, when his are clearly grey…"
"Grey?" Kurokawa echoed, his near-black eyes blinking in confusion, "My eyes may be worsening in my old age, but Rei-kun's violet eyes are quite striking. They remind me of my late wife's…"
"…Violet?" Kuresa said incredulously.
The two adults stared down into Rei's eyes. Rei stared back combatively.
The two of them proceeded to argue for a short while over whether Rei's eyes were grey or violet, before finally calling over another caretaker who insisted that Rei's eyes were green, of all things. They made him take some weird test which confused all of them further, as apparently it proved that he wasn't, in fact, colourblind.
In the end, they decided that his eyes simply changed easily with the light, which didn't really satisfy Rei at all because clearly his eyes were red-brown, and why couldn't Kuresa-neechan just understand that? He thought she really understood him, liked him!
But when he washed his face the next morning, he found he was wrong as well - because the eyes staring out at him in the mirror were a deep, deep brown closer to black.
By the time Rei graduated middle school, he thought he had a fairly good grasp of how his eyes worked. His eyes had shifted from (Kuresa-neechan's) red-brown to (Kurokawa-ojisan's) black to (Elena-san's) light blue before settling to their current cloudy grey-blue.
When anyone looked into his eyes, including himself, they saw the eye colour of the person they loved most. He was sure of it. So when the true owner of those cloudy grey-blue eyes brightly suggested they become police officers in their second year of high school, what was he going to say but yes?
He was his first and closest friend, and being able to protect Japan together sounded like a dream come true.
Years later, reunited in the worst possible way and torn apart in again the worst possible way, he realized that the conclusion he had come to in that last year of middle school was wrong all along.
He punched the mirror that reflected those hateful, hateful emerald green eyes back at him, paying no heed to the pinpricks of pain shooting through his fist.
"Rye…" Rei spat out through gritted teeth, clawing at the bathroom counter.
It wasn't enough to take him away from Rei? Rye had to take his eyes away from Rei as well?
(It wasn't enough that he didn't even know his own damn eye colour, he had to stare at his worst enemy's colour?)
But even as – or perhaps because – he swore bloody revenge and carefully plucked out the shards of glass embedded in his hand, Rei understand perfectly well why his eye colour had shifted into that striking green.
Moroboshi Dai had become the most important person in his life, after all.
When Rei stared into the mirror, Vermouth doing her magic to transform him into FBI agent Akai Shuuichi – that bastard had killed Scotch even though he was a NOC too – he had to suppress an automatic look of confusion when she commented, "Give me a moment to find the right pair of coloured contacts."
He had spent years staring into Moroboshi Da- that is, Akai Shuuichi's eyes. As bitter as he was about it, at this point, he felt as comfortable with them as he had been with Scotch's eyes at this point.
So Rei wouldn't believe Akai was dead. He couldn't. If Akai was dead, if Rei hadn't been the one to kill him, would he be stuck with these eyes forever? Would he stare into disgustingly stunning green for the rest of his life?
No, Akai needed to be alive. He needed to be alive so Rei could stab him in the back like Akai had to his fellow NOC. He needed to be alive so he could finally look into the mirror and not see Akai Shuuichi.
(What he refused to admit, refused to consider, was that his eye colour could remain the same even after he achieved his revenge.)
(Buried even deeper, was the bitterness that he had no control over it.)
A little curious, Rei said casually, "What, you don't think I can pull off Akai with my natural eye colour?"
Vermouth scoffed as she ruffled through her disguise kit.
"Your eyes are blue-purple, Bourbon. Anyone looking closely would figure you out in moments," Vermouth said scathingly.
Blue-purple, hm? Rei made a note to follow up on that info in his mental list of Vermouth blackmail material.
He let a smile spread oh-so-naturally across his face and chirped, "Aha, I suppose that's why you're the disguise expert here."
Of course, he rather thought that his natural eye colour would have a better effect on Akai's cute little FBI ex-girlfriend than any coloured contacts, but better safe than sorry. He doubted that Akai was that German-American agent's most important person, after all.
So he settled back in his seat and let Vermouth continue to work her magic.
Rei rather liked working at Café Poirot, though he would rather die than admit it to anyone who knew him as Furuya Rei or Bourbon. Cooking had always been an enjoyable hobby for him, and putting on a mask of sweet cheerfulness was preferable than the cool cruelty of Bourbon or the chokingly brisk and professional PSB officer Furuya Rei.
(He wasn't entirely sure who he was anymore.)
(But he had to hazard a guess, if he let himself hazard a guess, he would put money on his uselessly hotheaded personality that spilled out whenever he confronted Akai as being rather close to his natural state.)
As it was, however, Rei was finding it difficult to properly affix his cheerful mask on his face today.
"Here you are, Conan-kun, one ham sandwich set," Rei said with relatively sincere cheerfulness, before saying his next words a little more coldly, "Okiya-san, one egg salad sandwich set with coffee, black."
The tray holding the egg salad set was placed on the table with a little more force than necessary, the plates and cup on the tray dangerously trembling.
He gave the two of them a smile that was just a tad too tight, rattled off a customary, "Enjoy your meal!" then turned around to go wipe the counter and ignore Akai goddamn Shuuichi sitting in Poirot like he was allowed to be here.
Alright, to be fair, he neither owned nor managed Poirot and had no right to ban customers, so technically, Akai had every right to be here.
Didn't mean he had to like it.
He really wished that Azusa was here so he could leave serving them to her, or that there were other customers so he could serve them instead (though he supposed that would be unfair to Conan.) Unfortunately, it was nearing closing time, so there were no other customers and Azusa had left early for the day.
He was slowly calming down as he wiped the counter with again, a little more force than necessary, when Conan hopped out of his seat and walked over to him.
"Furuya-san," Conan whispered from the other side of the counter, standing up on his tip-toes to try to get closer to him. Rei leaned down towards him to hear him better.
"What is it, Conan-kun?" Rei asked, taking care not to let his ill mood leak into his voice. It wasn't Conan's fault that he hated Akai.
Conan took a breath then proceeded to rip apart his entire worldview with a few unknowing words.
"I heard from Akai-san what happened between you two," Conan explained, not noticing or purposefully ignoring the way Rei's hand clenched around the bottle of cleaning spray he held, "I can't understand how it must have felt, but Scotch's suicide-"
Rei didn't hear the rest of Conan's plea, because all he heard was a roaring in his ears as he let the bottle of cleaning spray drop to the ground with a dull clatter.
Scotch's suicide?
Scotch's suicide!?
His first instinct was to deny it, to think that Akai lied to Conan, that Conan is lying to him to manipulate him, but that doesn't make sense. Akai has done much worse than kill one Organization spy – what motivation would he have to lie? – and Conan wouldn't try to manipulate him with a lie he would be so disinclined to believe and Akai wouldn't corroborate.
The only possible answer, the only one possible truth was that… was that…
When he came to, he had Okiya – Akai – hoisted up against the wall by the collar of his stupid turtleneck.
"Is it true?" he heard himself snarling, pushing Akai harder against the wall, "Is it true?"
"I – I'm sorry, I'm not sure –"
"Don't use that stupid Okiya act with me!" he snapped, eyes blazing, "Did Scotch commit suicide?"
Akai's eyes widen, letting Rei see those distinctive eyelashes and striking green eyes from up close. It just made him feel more convicted. Who else could it be but Akai?
"Your eyes turned white again…" Akai murmured inanely, sounding a little dazed, "No, transparent?"
Rei didn't bother to give Akai's stupid statement any heed and instead continued to glare at him. He could vaguely hear Conan trying to get him to put Akai down, but right now, all he could really see or hear was Akai himself.
"Alright," Akai said finally said, sounding resigned, "Put me down, Furuya-kun. I'll explain. Somewhere more private, preferably."
At being reminded that they were in a very public place at the moment, Rei calmed down a little. He let Akai lead him to the Kudo mansion (he still hadn't figured out how Conan and Shinichi Kudo were related, but he was heavily suspecting an illegitimate half-brother), Conan nervously following along.
That night, when he was alone and he knew no one would hear him, he sobbed quietly in his room. Because no matter how Akai had tip-toed around it, he understood exactly what wasn't being said. What Akai was trying to shield him from, for whatever strange reasons he had.
No wonder his eyes had turned to that (hateful?) green when the one to kill Scotch had been him all along.
(It would serve him better than whatever his real eyes were.)
When Rei looked into the bathroom mirror that next morning, he expected his eye colour to have changed. Maybe to Vermouth's blue, or Gin's dirty green, or perhaps even Kazami's brown-black or Conan's deeper blue?
But the eyes in the mirror were the same emerald green they had been for the past countless years. He wasn't as surprised as he expected. There weren't many people he considered even marginally significant in his life. Even if the hatred he felt for Akai Shuuichi had twisted around to aim itself at himself, he couldn't fully let go of the feelings of angry rivalry and combativeness and bitterness he felt towards Akai.
As the months passed and he at times reluctantly worked with the FBI against the Organization, Rei begrudgingly felt that angry rivalry melt into something a little friendlier. He still was quick to snap at Akai, and Akai was still quick to tick him off, but he was willing to freely admit that he now considered Akai a mere rival, rather than a mortal enemy.
His anger flared up just as well towards a 'rival' as a 'mortal enemy', however, so perhaps the distinction was rather meaningless in the end.
"FBI," Rei hissed, voice quiet as to not give out his position, "What are you doing here!?"
Rei was hiding behind a wall in the shadows near the docks. He was staking out a particular warehouse which he had heard on the Organization grapevine was supposed to store some pretty nasty bombs.
He couldn't let these bombs stay here. If only he had worked harder, spied harder, then maybe that bomb that had killed two and injured countless others wouldn't have gone off yesterday when the PSB had raided an Organization hideout.
He had only heard about it this evening, and the bombs were supposed to be shipped out early next morning, so the plan was a little slapdash and involved only whichever of his PSB agents that could mobilize in time. But he had a plan, and was ready to execute it, except it didn't account for damn FBI interference.
He shot a glare at Akai, who had snuck up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He refused to feel guilty at Akai rubbing his stomach with a wince. Akai was lucky he just got an elbow to the stomach instead of a bullet.
"This is a trap," Akai murmured calmly, "The FBI just got information that they're trying to rat out a spy. They're trying to catch you, 'Bourbon'. The bombs are here, yes, but the moment they spot you they'll know they have a rat."
"I just learned about this a few hours ago," Rei muttered, poking his head around the corner, "How would the FBI know about this so quickly?"
"Luck. Pure luck, and a contact," Akai said simply, reaching out to jerk Rei back into the safety of the shadows. Rei turned around to glare up at him, but was caught off-guard by the frustrated expression on his face.
"What?" Rei snapped, only remembering to lower his voice just in time.
"Please, just leave this job to the FBI and perhaps your subordinates," Akai said, and for a moment it sounded like he were actually pleading. That made Rei swallow back his snappy retorts about Americans. "…Think about this logically. Tell me, Furuya-kun, when was the last time you properly rested?"
Rei paused, confused. Why was Akai asking a question he knew the answer to? The FBI knew perfectly well about the large-scale PSB operation that had just concluded this morning. Of course he had barely any time to sleep considering his Organization duties on top of all of that…
…Ah. A brief moment of clarity. Followed by sourness that it was Akai who had to point it out.
"What was I thinking?" Rei muttered, leaning against the wall and placing a hand over his forehead, "Of course it was a trap. It was so obvious, how could I have fallen for it? The plan... no, it won't work. If they're waiting for us..."
"Furuya-kun," Akai murmured again, only now he was sounding more brisk and normal, and that was good, "Get some sleep."
It was easy to sneer at him, but his emotions were feeling too muddled for him to really work up the proper malice.
"You're not my superior," Rei said anyways.
"It was advice, not an order," Akai replied frankly, "Though if you refuse, I can't promise I won't stop you."
Just a few months ago, that frank statement would've been more than enough for him to attack Akai, even knowing perfectly well that Akai was right.
Thankfully, his mind wasn't as clouded anymore. In the same way. His mind was still currently clouded with tiredness.
Rei took a step back and sighed. He fished out his cellphone and tapped out a familiar number, waiting for the recipient to pick up. When he did, he quickly and briskly whispered, "Kazami, it's me. It was a trap. The fact that I didn't notice it makes it clear that I am not in any position to lead this operation, and because of our severe time constraint, we don't have the time to plan our own move. I know it stings, but we have no other choice but to move onto backup for the FBI and –"
Rei rolled his eyes at the sight of Akai pointedly making a sleeping gesture with his hands.
"- you have no other choice but to move onto backup for the FBI. I assume the FBI won't cooperate if I'm on the operation the way I am now. I sincerely apologize for my error, but I promise you, I would rather die than let the FBI show us up like this again. I'll apologize on our behalf to our superiors later."
"Furuya-san," came Kazami's panicked voice, "Are you alright? What happened?"
"I'm fine, just temporarily compromised," Rei answered, "I'm giving the phone to Akai. Your top priority is dealing with the bombs for the good of everyone, so cooperate the best you can with the FBI. I – "
"- Furuya-kun will be busy for the next six to eight hours," Akai cut in, stealing the phone from Rei, "He was about to make a terrible mistake he would've never made normally. Now, we don't have much time, so I'll be brief."
Rei briefly considered stealing the phone back as Akai started explaining how the FBI had planned things – and they expected to have PSB backup, those arrogant bastards – but eventually decided against it when he took a tentative step forwards and discovered he was feeling a little dizzy.
He just knew he was going to get a huge reprimand from his superiors for letting the Americans step in on a Japanese operation because of his failure.
But Rei also realized that yes, he really did need to rest, because all he could feel at the moment was gratitude, of all things.
Some days, when he was feeling in a particularly good mood, he might slowly, reluctantly admit that he considered Akai a friend.
(What he would rather die than admit, was that whenever Akai flashed that stupid smirk at him, sometimes he wanted to…)
It was nearing closing time in Café Poirot, and Akai-as-Okiya was sitting on the counter, sipping at a cup of coffee (black, as always). Rei's shifts at Poirot had lessened lately with his work at both the PSB and the Organization increasing as law enforcement agencies began to corner in on the Organization. But he still worked here occasionally. With Bourbon monitoring Mouri Kogoro, none of the more… murderous… members of the Organization felt the need to wander near, after all.
He was wiping a glass with a cloth when Akai commented casually, quietly, "Why does your eye colour change?"
Rei paused in his wiping for a split second before continuing as if nothing was wrong. He didn't bother to turn around from his dishwashing to meet Akai's undoubtedly sharp gaze.
"Eye colours can change in different lighting," Rei said calmly, putting the glass into a cabinet and beginning to wipe a plate next, "It's a common phenomenon."
"No, this isn't that," Akai said infuriatingly confidently, "I thought that must've been it when I thought your eyes changed from light blue when I first met you to darker blue-brown, but this time, it can't be just lighting. Nowadays, your eyes look mostly pale-transparent cream, maybe, instead of blue-brown, though sometimes I still see the blue."
Light blue was probably Jodie Starling, and darker blue-brown was probably Hell's Angel's eldest daughter, Miyano Akemi. Rei wasn't entirely sure who the hell pale-transparent could be – he couldn't quite suppress the sour thought that wondered how he could've missed someone that important to Akai – but it was clear that Akai's most important person was shifting.
Perhaps Akai was simply moving on from Akemi's death but didn't have a new most important person to replace her. That made much more sense than Akai having a new mysterious important person or his important person being Curaçao or something.
(But if that was the way it worked, then why were Rei's eyes still green…)
"Why are you spending so much time staring into my eyes, FBI?" Rei said, a touch more defensively than he intended. He dialed it back a little, glancing back to look at Akai, "You're probably spending too much time trying to parse through documents and coded transmissions. Your eyes have gotten bad, Akai – you should be more careful, considering your profession."
Akai hummed noncommittally and took another sip of his coffee. Seemingly letting it go, he brought up another subject. Rei wasn't naïve enough to think that Akai had really let it go, but he gratefully jumped on the change in subject.
It was a couple weeks later when Akai brought it up again. This time, it was in the Kudo mansion, after Rei and Akai (mostly Rei) had yelled at each other for a while about a botched operation before finally coming to a consensus. Akai sighed, lowered himself down on a plush armchair disguise-free, and then gave a sharp look at Rei who stood across from him.
"I asked people who knew you about your eye colour," he said.
Rei gracefully suppressed his instinctual stiffening.
"Oh?" he said casually instead.
"They all had different answers," Akai continued, lacing his fingers together, "The boy said purple-blue. Jodie insisted on green while Camel thought light blue. I even asked that detective Mouri and his daughter, and they said grey-purple and deep blue respectively."
"Sounds like a consensus," Rei said mildly, settling himself down on the sofa across from Akai, "I have blue eyes. Most people don't pay attention to eye colour, so people having slightly conflicting answers is unsurprising. You should know this much about witness testimonies, Akai, you're the only reason the FBI isn't completely useless."
He felt a sense of déjà vu when he met Akai's all-too-sharp gaze. Only this time, it was him being interrogated, not 'Okiya Subaru'.
"Thank you for the compliment, Furuya-kun," Akai said smoothly, causing Rei to bristle and choke back an angry hiss. Now was not the time to be childish.
He couldn't help but roll his eyes, though.
Akai continued, "But Jodie is an FBI agent. She has a sharp eye for these things, and she was certain that your eyes were green. And do you know what was the most interesting thing?"
"What?" Rei asked reluctantly after a short while.
"After asking them what they thought your eye colour was, I asked again after showing them a picture of you. Can you guess what they said?"
"Why ask me when you're going to tell me?" Rei said combatively, averting his gaze from Akai's.
"They didn't change their answer. They doubled down, and insisted they were right," Akai continued, ignoring Rei's poor attempt at picking a fight, "Furuya-kun. Why does your eye colour change?"
Rei sighed through his nose, considered denying everything, discarded that idea, then reluctantly began to speak.
"Why should I tell you?" he said shortly, curtly, leaning back against the sofa and crossing his arms.
"Because," Akai said quietly, "I want to know why I see your eyes as almost-transparent beige when everyone else sees blue or green."
Rei growled, gritting his teeth, and slammed a hand on the coffee table separating them. The mugs sitting on it rattle a little.
"You couldn't just let it go, could you?" Rei hissed, feeling a welcome, familiar anger bloom in his chest.
"Would you?" Akai said simply, and by the heavens above, Rei hated him (though no, not really), really hated him, because no, he wouldn't have let it go. Rei was first and foremost a detective and if it had been Akai with mysterious colour-changing eyes he wouldn't have let it go until he had tracked down the truth.
Rei let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding then steeled himself for the conversion. It wasn't like it was a desperate secret or anything, he just hated talking about the one mystery he had never managed to quite figure out.
"I don't know exactly how it works," Rei began by admitting the one thing he didn't want to admit the most. He then continued on to the easier stuff, "But I understand what it does. When someone looks into my eyes, they see the colour of the most important person in their life."
"The person they love most?"
"No," Rei said coldly, firmly.
Akai blinked, looking the slightest bit confused at Rei's conviction, but shrugged and continued, "So what is your natural eye colour then?"
His last question was said with a hint of anticipation, as if the reason he had started this whole interrogation was to find the answer to that question. Well, unfortunately for him, Rei didn't have any answers.
"I don't know," Rei said reluctantly, not liking to admit yet another thing he didn't know. "My eyes work the same way for me as it does for anyone else."
Rei clenched his teeth together, waiting for Akai's inevitable next question.
"If you don't mind me asking," Akai began, leaning in closer, "Then what colour do you see in the mirror?"
"I do mind," Rei snapped, standing up, but his mouth continued moving despite himself, "I've seen nothing but green since Scotch's death."
Akai's mouth opened slightly, comprehension lighting those damn green eyes of his. He straightened his back.
"So that's why you know it isn't love…" he murmured, sounding a bit disappointed. Then he smiled slightly for some bizarre reason, and muttered, "Isn't necessarily love…"
"Is this interrogation over?" Rei asked ill-temperedly, tapping his foot, "I'm very busy, and we shouldn't have anything else to discuss tonight, so I'll be taking my leave. Now that you know the oh-so-mysterious secret of my eyes, you can go find whatever girl with beige eyes you've been seeing and be happy together."
But before he could take more than two steps towards the door, Akai jumped up from the armchair and gripped Rei's wrist, holding him back. Rei easily twisted out of his grip.
"Could you refrain from touching me so casually?" Rei snapped, glaring at Akai. He geared up to let out another stream of insults, but the words die in his throat at Akai's serious expression and next words.
"I don't know anyone with the almost-transparent beige eyes I see, much less a girl with them," Akai said firmly. He stared into Rei's eyes, as if he were asking him to deduct what he wasn't saying.
Never let it be said that Furuya Rei is an idiot, even when it comes to things he'd much rather let be washed away in a river of denial.
"…Maybe you just forgot someone's eye colour," Rei muttered just to be contrarian, although he had realized what Akai was trying to imply.
Akai gave Rei a scathing look, one that easily conveyed the magnitude of his exasperation towards Rei's denial.
Rei sighed and gave in, "Don't be ridiculous. Why would I be more important to you than your FBI girlfriend, or Hell's Angel's daughters, or literally anyone else in your life?"
"Because I love you?"
At those words, Rei choked in the middle of swallowing a gulp of air and began to cough uncontrollably. He hunched down on himself, barely registering Akai coming a little closer and patting him on the back as his coughing gradually slowed.
"What the fuck, Akai?" Rei sputtered as soon as he regained control of himself, slapping aside Akai's hand and jumping a couple steps back. He could feel his face heating up as he stared into Akai's eyes, eyes that seemed awfully sincere.
"It's just the truth," Akai said, and that bastard, he could see the smile threatening to play on Akai's lips, "Don't you detectives like that?"
"Like you aren't a detective too," Rei said automatically before flushing deeper at Akai's confirmation of his earlier words, "And like hell that's the truth."
"Your real eye colour is very pretty, Rei-kun," Akai said brightly.
"Don't call me by my first name!" Rei hissed, still feeling terribly off-kilter despite the familiarity of the snappish anger welling up in him, "What's your game, Akai?"
"My game," Akai said calmly, and dammit, Akai's calmness was pissing him off further, "is that the world turned grey when Akemi died. I felt so lost, and so angry, but I couldn't let that show, wouldn't let that show, so it just festered in me and the world just got greyer. Then I saw you again, for the first time in years, and you were so colourful, one of the few things that still seemed to have colour in this unfair world."
Rei took in a breath, stepped in his Bourbon persona to force himself into cool detachment, and stared straight into Akai's eyes.
"I was trying to kill you," Rei deadpanned.
"Like I said," Akai said cheerfully, letting a smile play at his lips, "Colourful. Though I will say I started liking you better when you got a little less murderous. But you were just so certain I was alive, so vehement, and that conviction struck a chord in me."
Akai took a step closer, too close, and Rei felt his Bourbon persona crack, the way all his personas seemed to crack so easily around Akai.
"And then we found out you were on our side all along, and I actually felt happy for a brief moment, genuinely happy," Akai murmured, "I didn't even feel happy when we pulled off the fake death trick, just… satisfied. But knowing that we could be real allies made me actually happy, even if only for an instant. And then you found out the truth about... him…"
Rei didn't bother holding back his flinch at the mention of Scotch. Akai took a final step closer and reached out a hand to brush a strand of hair away from his eyes. For whatever reason, Rei permitted this. Akai's hand remained caressing Rei's cheek afterwards. For whatever reason, Rei also permitted this.
Akai remained silent for a moment before continuing, "And you stopped hating me as much, and even occasionally, reluctantly worked with the FBI without a dozen sardonic comments. These past months, I've been seeing pale beige more and more over the blue-brown as time passed. But I think I only really realized when I noticed how happy you made me even when you were picking a fight."
Akai let out a little chuckle and leaned in closer, closer, until their foreheads were touching. The last vestiges of the Bourbon persona Rei was trying to grasp onto shattered into pieces, and he felt his face flush again.
"Hey, Furuya-kun," Akai murmured, staring into Rei's (beige?) eyes with an uncomfortably soft gaze, "How do you feel about me?"
Rei swallowed, blinking back up towards Akai's eyes, their colour so familiar after all these years.
"I…"
He wanted to turn away, avert his gaze, but Akai's hand was still on his cheek and he kind of didn't want to lose that.
"I…"
No good. The words wouldn't come out.
Letting out a hiss of frustration, he reached out a hand to grip the back of Akai's head, pressing their lips together.
Akai let out a mild sound of surprise, but recovered quickly, leaning in enthusiastically. Rei couldn't help but let his mouth open, and with Akai being Akai, a tongue quickly began exploring his mouth. He noted that Akai's lips were rather chapped, and thought inanely that next time, he might ask Akai to put on some chapstick.
Next time.
Rei felt a deeper flush crawling up his neck and suddenly it was all too much. He let his hand drop from Akai's head and pushed Akai back, gently, but Akai stepped back immediately.
Akai smiled softly at Rei.
"I… Akai…" Rei began, glancing to the side, "Look, what I want to say is… Argh!"
He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated, and scrunched his eyes.
"Furuya-kun," Akai said finally, probably taking pity on him, "Can I assume the colour you see in the mirror now means the same thing as the colour I see in your eyes?"
Rei coughed, still averting his gaze, but responded, quietly, "…Yes."
He glanced back up at Akai, who looked happier than he thinks he's seen Akai be since they met for the second time.
"That's enough for me until you're able to say it yourself," Akai said, outright smiling now, "I'd much rather something from the heart than some of your terrible acting, after all."
The last few words were said in a bit of a smug tone, and it was enough to trigger – oh dammit, no – affectionate anger towards Akai. His acting was terrible, was it? Rei let himself step into the familiar role, falling into their familiar banter, but if his eyes were a little more cheerful than usual…
...Well, he was sure Akai would forgive him.
That night, Rei stared up at a ceiling in his room.
"Beige..." he murmured to himself, a smile quirking his lips up.
He closed his eyes, certain that tomorrow morning, he wouldn't feel that usual stab of bitterness when staring at his reflection.