Harry gripped his bayonet tighter, hugging it to his body. His world shuddered again, dirt and debris falling around him and hitting his head. He used this to his advantage, dipping two fingers into the mud and bringing it to his face. He made one thick line on each cheek, feeling much more confident now that he had stripes. He grabbed his gun again, counted to 3 for good measure, and hoisted himself out of the trench.
Harry was a northerner, through and through. He hailed from the great and manly state of Gryffindor, known for its' bravery and prudishness. They were at war with the sexually promiscuous state of Slytherin. The women of Slytherin were imbued with the hellish desire to steal Gryffindor men's virginities. Stay strong, kings.
Harry was filled with self-confidence when the Gryffindor motto entered his mind. Stay strong, king, he chanted to himself as he reloaded and shot again. The Slytherin army of frothing, naked women advanced relentlessly, pulling at his shirt and belt buckle.
"Stay away from my virginity he hissssssed" he hissssed . "u wahmen r all the same!" But they didnt listen… They pulled on his ears, jerking hium from left to right and restraining his waist so he could not resist. They gently chewed on his pubic chehairs . hairy was scaroused! (scaroused: for the preps that dunt no, sacaroosed is when ur both scared and aroused!)
They were trying to turn him to the dark side and also turn him on. They were bamboozled to see that their manipulations werent working! HARRY WAS GAY
They took his limp noodle into each of their respective if not respectable moist chasms