Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or any of the characters. Legally, that is. In my bedroom.. well, that's another story, altogether.

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There are those moments that appear to us in crystalline perfection. Times when we can see every place where our expectations have begun to crack, where our hopes have begun to shatter, where we realize that our dreams are more flawed than we could ever have imagined. Cold, darkness, the face of my lover hovering in my gaze just before the world goes back. In this moment, I want to know what happened, where we went wrong, how somehow we managed to end up in a clash of magic and violence that ends with both of us losing everything that we promised to protect, to cherish, to love. I can hear his voice somewhere in the distance, calling me, asking me to fight. I don't know if I can fight anymore. The darkness is inviting. It promises closure, comfort, relief. The voice promises pain. I did fight. I fought harder than he will ever know or ever believe. And somehow it still all ended in this moment, with me clinging to some shred of myself while the world spins and twists around me.

I want to know what moments led to this one. Where did I fail to see that this was the inevitable end? What choices was I supposed to make differently? Or is it just that my dreams were always too fanciful to exist in reality, my hopes too grounded in imagination to find footing on solid ground? I'm not ready to leave yet, to relinquish the bond that is growing between us, no matter how fragile. But I don't know if you're ready to chance the future with me, to take that leap of faith across the chasm of mistrust, insecurity, and fear that separates us.

I'm ready to trust. I'm ready to fling myself headlong across that chasm, knowing full well the sharp and cutting rocks of loss, despair, and heartbreak wait for me at the bottom. But I want to believe that you'll catch me before I fall. I'm willing to build a bridge that can span that chasm, no matter if the planks are still weakened by fear and uncertainty. Walk with me one step at a time. My love will erase the cracks of despair that have appeared in the wood. My faith will fill them in with plaster that will take hold, and make them solid again. They don't need to be whole, complete. They just need to hold and bear the weight of my emotion. When I reach the other side, we can burn it together, and I'll never leave your side again.

Will you fight for us?

He's still calling me, and then his mouth on mine. His kisses are searing and they reach me even in in this void that keeps me disoriented, confused, lost. The warmth of his kisses and the cold darkness of the void clash inside me, fighting for dominance. I don't know anything anymore. Thought means nothing. I just feel. His kisses are burning, hot enough to leave me gasping in pain until the darkness freezes me, leaving me shivering in its icy grip. His heat thaws me, and the cycle repeats. Each canceling out the other, both straining to keep me under their control. My body can't withstand two such forces. I am thawing, exploding and then I am freezing, shattering.

Then there are the moments that aren't crystalline. They are hazy, distorted, everything blending into one. Hopes, fears, choices. The distinctions between them blur together until its just a swarm of emotion with no meaning. Logic does not compel me, only the instinctual need to stop the battle raging over my body. They will destroy me if I do not choose one.

I reach out, grab hold of one of the two sensations that forces itself into my body, claiming me, trying to establish its authority over me. I surrender. There is nothing but pain as I let it consume me, fill me. Sometimes we don't know what to do, which option is right, which is wrong. I stopped thinking long ago. I have no identity, no higher processing system, no complex neurological cognition. I am as base and emotional as it comes. I live on instinct, hoping it will keep me alive. If I could pray, I would pray that for guidance, for strength, for direction.

My whole future rests on this one choice.

I hope I have chosen right.

Author's Note:

I am in the process of re-writing this story, and I hope that you all like the changes. To all my new readers, welcome. I can't wait to take this journey with you.

And please please review! I really want to know what you think! .

JadeElemental