Okay...disclaimer, I don't own anything... neither instant star and the characters, nor the song here comes the night, by rob thomas, who is one of the most amazing musicians by the way... haha...
Okay... so here is my newest story... i have got no idea if it is any good at all this time, so I rely an your comments, because they are the only way i can get better and so on and so on... somebody who read one of my other one-shots suggested that i should get a beta reader, which is something i should probably really do, so if you are interested in doing that.. you are very welcome to contact me... so ... okay... this is my newest story...
I hope you enjoy it... It is rather confusing I think... and sad... so if you do not like it... just do not read it... I guess... or read it and tell me what to do better next time.. whatever
Here comes the night
He had made so many promises. How often had he told her, that he would always be there for her? That he would never leave her? And now he was gone. He was gone and he would never come back. Never.
She still felt like a hand was lying around her lungs. It felt almost impossible for her, to breath. To really breath and she was not even sure, if she wanted to. If she wanted to keep on breathing. Why would she bother to anyway. He was gone, there was no need to breath anymore. No need to eat or drink. She did not have to see tomorrow, because there would not be anybody there.
Nobody was there in the morning, who was bringing her a cup of coffee. Nobody was doing her laundry, when she was about to run out of clothes, because she simply forgot about it. Nobody was there, that care if there was healthy food in the fridge. Nobody made sure, she took her vitamins. There would not be somebody who would kick her butt in the morning, when she was in danger of being late for work.
When the hour is upon usAnd our beauty surely gone
She caressed his cold cheek. He looked peaceful. His eyes were closed. Those amazing blue eyes, that drove her insane from the start. Those eyes that kept on appearing in her dreams. His eyes could make her heart skip a beat. They did right from the start. Although she had hated him back then, although she had thought that there was no talent inside of him. That he was just a pretty guy.
She had been waiting for him for so long, but she had always known, that they would grow with him, with him by his side and they would fall asleep next to each other some night. Someday when they were like eighty or even older. They would fall asleep and one of them would not wake up anymore. Gone forever, but peaceful. Probably dreaming a dream about the one right by his side, but god must have had other plans, that was, what people kept on telling her, that he had other plans for them, that they were not supposed to be together forever, that they just weren't meant to be. That they had not been meant to be from the start…
No you will not be forgottenAnd you will not be aloneNo you will not be alone
She had chosen the words that were written on the stone, that would show everybody who would pass the peace of grass underneath which he would lie forever from now on. He would not be forgotten. There was no way, she would forget about him. All the fans, that were standing on the other side of the iron gate, that separated the graveyard from the rest of the world, that were holding banners, saying basically the same, they would forget about him.
They did not love him the way she did. They did not know him the way she did. They did not know about all those hours that had spent together at the studio. Had no idea about all those nights they had spent talking. They had no idea about all those notes that she would find all over the house. He left them everywhere, forgetting what he did with them himself, forgetting that he had written them, but within the last four days, which had been full of silence for her, she had found a bunch of them.
And when the day has all but endedAnd our echo starts to fade
She had gone through the whole funeral. She did not cry. She waited for the Paparazzi to take a picture of her. Wearing all black, covering her eyes with dark sunglasses. Not because she had red eyes, not because the sun was shining – in fact, it was a rainy day – just as rainy as the day, he had left her – but because no dears would find their way out of her eyes and down her cheek.
She was happy when she was alone again. Finally alone again. It had been so hard, to get rid of Sadie, who would not leave her alone, asking her if she was fine, if she needed something, if she had to sit down, if she wanted to talk… She had just been Sadie, her worried big sister, who had loved him almost as much as she had. But she had been the only one for him and she knew it. She looked at the piece of paper that was lying on the glass table.
No you will not be alone thenAnd you will not be afraidNo you will not be afraid
She knew that he would never be totally gone for her. That there would always be a part of him, wherever she was. She knew, that he would not let go of her ever again, although he was gone. Because he was gone maybe. Maybe this was the only way, he could be with her, forever.
There were so many things in this world, that could draw people apart. There were so many things in this world, that made it impossible to totally trust another human, but now, with him gone, he would always be there. The memory of him, would always be there, no matter, where she was and she hated it, that he would always be perfect.
She did not know what she was doing, when she tossed her glass through the room. Glass shattered all over the dark floor as she sat back onto the black leather couch. Again it felt almost impossible to breath. He would always be perfect, because he did not have to damn chance to make another mistake. He had made so many, but he had made up for all of them. They had been happy, they had been good, they had finally been in love, they could finally be honest, they had been fine…When the fog has finally liftedFrom my cold and tired brow
She stared at the ceiling. His bedroom had the same dark design as the rest of the house. Everything had straight lines, but still there were so many places you could lose your stuff in. That was another thing. It was impossible for her to keep all her things together. She needed him. She needed him to find whatever she was looking for. She needed him to put up her clothes, after they had been cleaned. She needed him to remind her of any meetings she had, of everything.
She had never been good at living alone, no matter what she had told herself, what she had told him or her parents. She had been a rebel, sure, but she was so much more comfortable, if there was somebody that could help her find her way, if there was somebody, who took the lead.
She had have Jamie, who showed her so many amazing bands and who had pushed her into the contest. He was the reason, why she was, where she was today. He was the only reason, why she had turned into Jude Harisson-Quincy, Instant star. Then she did have Tommy and Jamie had become less important. Tommy had the power to influence her music. He was so forceful, that he could have pushed her into anything if he had wanted to, and he had known it.
No I will not leave you cryingNo I will not let you downNo I will not let you downI will not let you down
She got up again, walking through the house, finally taking a shower. His towel was still tossed over the edge of the bathtub they had barely used. She stared at his shampoo, the hot water pouring down her cold body as she reached for her own one. She kept on staring. Unable to move.
She used some of her perfume, the only one he had not gotten for her, but she remembered how much he had liked it that day at the peer. It was still the same kind. It was weird how many details she suddenly had saved in her memory. There would have been no way, she could have told this story last week. Last week when he had still been there for her.
She walked out of the house, passing the Viper. It was really ironical, that he had not driven the Viper that night. She had always thought that he was going to kill himself, driving it. That he would someday be to energetic and hit something with too much force. She had not expected somebody else to be involved in a possible car crash, with Thomas Quincy. It still seemed unreal for her, that somebody could be involved into his life at all.
She drove fast, maybe too fast. She did not care. It did not matter anyway, but she reached his parents house fast, suddenly getting mad at herself, because she was not ready to face them alone. She looked at the ring on her finger, turning to the passenger seat, that was empty. His smell still lingered in the Mercedes she had been driving. His aftershave mixed with the scent of leather. His favorite radio station was muted.
Now comes the nightFeel it fading awayAnd the soul underneathIs it all that remains
They were looking at her worried. "She is so beautiful" Tom's mom whispered to her husband who was sitting next to her on the couch, facing Jude who had fallen asleep in the recliner. She looked even more fragile than usually. She and Tom had been something they accepted. Nothing they appreciated, but he had been happy. He had loved her, that was something they were positive about, but they had just always wished he would marry someone who was french or at least somebody who was not involved into the music business, but they had learned to live with his decisions and this was one of those that were easier to accept, than others their son had made over the years.
She opened her eyes when the sunlight met her skin. An unfamiliar sound came from the kitchen and it took her a while until she figured out, that she was still at tom's parent's place. She carefully folded the covers she had slept under and straightened her dress. She could tell that there were already a bunch of people in the kitchen. Probably all the neighbors that came to say, how sorry they were.
"Jude, Honey?" his mom said and entered the living room she had slept in. "Good morning" Jude said politely, a little uncomfortable. "I am sorry, I feel asleep last night" Julia Quincy just gave her a warm smile. A smile that was more comforting than any of those she had gotten over the last days. "That's fine. You should know that you will always be welcome." She sat down on the couch and petted the spot to her right side, motioning for Jude to sit down too.
A sad smile dominated her face as she looked at her daughter in law. "You know, Jude. It was not easy for us, to accept that he chose you and married you after such a short period of time, but I want you to know, that you are always welcome here." She took a deep breath and held one of the covers close to her body. "This was his favorite, when he was little" she said and tried to smile again, this time even less convincing. "I am so sorry, you two had only such a limited time together. I had him so much longer and I tried to tie him to myself, whenever he decided that you were all he wanted. He told me he had met the one he wanted shortly after you met and I tried to talk him out of it. He kept on saying that he was going to wait until you turn eighteen anyway, but I could see in his eyes how hard it was for him. How little he believed that he could." Tears were rolling down her cheeks and when Jude raised her hand to free her eyes from the hair that had fallen out of her ponytail and into her face. "He really fell for you for the first day, although he tried to do everything to convince himself, that he did not. You were the one for him, Jude but I… I loved him too …"
She did not finish her sentence, because Jude suddenly jumped up. She could not stand it. She knew, that he had always loved her. That he had loved her from the first day. That there was nobody else he had wanted more back then. She could not sit next to his mom, who was hurting herself so bad. She could not go into the kitchen and face people that were going to tell her how much they were going to miss him too. The woman that was looking at her now was hurting as much as she did. She had known him so much longer, so much better than she ever could
No you will not be forgottenAnd you will not be aloneNo you will not be alone