Hey guys!
I know it's been a while since I've updated and I know this isn't DEM but I've been swamped with end of the year stuff.
My graduation's on Saturday so after that I should be updating rather regularly.
This is just a little something I thought of a while back and didn't have time to write until now.
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Setting: This is post 'The Gift' and before 'Once More, With Feeling'.
Disclaimer: I own nothing. Buffy is totally Joss Whedon.
No Pairing
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When Buffy was brought back, she still remembered heaven.
It was beautiful and everything she'd ever wanted.
She'd finally seen the place that she hadn't had the time to enter after the Master.
She'd figured she was done.
Her first thoughts out of the grave were… This is a cemetery; I must be in Hell.
And later, even though she knew she was alive, she still felt her first assessment was correct.
The others just smiled.
They couldn't know what they'd done.
It felt like someone had ripped out her wings and her heart bled incessantly.
Fallen Angel.
Days were the worst.
At night she could pretend that everything was the way it used to be.
She was used to not sleeping at night.
She could act like the nightmares hadn't plagued her and say that it was just too out of routine to try to sleep in the dark.
But the days, the days were hard.
There were bills, and Dawn, friends with stupid grins.
They all offered sympathy for her stay in hell, but none could give her empathy for her time in heaven.
She needed to get a job.
She needed some stability in her life but every one else had problems of their own.
We all have angels who watch over us.
But who watches over the fallen ones?
Who protects them?
Some days she just wanted to run away, but she knew they'd find her.
Willow was powerful enough to raise the dead; she could locate Buffy in five minutes if she wanted.
There was no running away.
Straight from the light but the darkness felt warm.
Who's going to hold her at the start of the storm?
Who's going to save her?
Spike wouldn't leave her alone.
She was close to just giving in and letting him take her whatever way he chose.
He knew she wasn't real.
She didn't come back right.
She didn't come back whole.
She thought of ending it all.
But the fear of ending up in Hell for her sins stopped her.
Maybe Heaven was a fluke.
Maybe that's why they were able to bring her back.
She wasn't supposed to have been there at all.
She wanted her mom more than anything.
She wanted reassurance.
She wanted hope.
She wanted someone else to be in charge for once.
All she got was problems and a kleptomaniac sister.
We all have angels who watch over us.
But who watches over the fallen ones?
Who protects them?
Who protects them?