Brittle Souls

A/N: Ok this is a Crellie fic. I had never thought about this couple before, but for some reason I found it as an interesting couple. It seemed like I could actually picture something like this...even though I prefer Cranny. I despise Crash. I mean it seems like they're going to be together forever, but if I had my way they would never date again.

Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi...and you best believe if I did that I would have a lot of money and I would live in a huge mansion with all the guys and I wouldn't be writing these fics.

---------------------------------

This was never a thought that entered her head, but after it happened it was all she could think about. The smell of his hair, the way he knew just how to smile at just the right time, he was perfect. Flawless in her eyes. Although she could never tell him that. He wouldn't understand because of who he was. He was always overwhelmed in his problems and now with this one he's wrapped around nothing, but his girlfriend.

She tossed back her fiery red hair as a single strand fell into her face. She tried blowing it back, but she was unsuccessful.

'Oh well, I'm not impressing anyone anyway.'

Quickly she grabbed her keys, backpack, and lunch and headed out the door. As the fierce wind blew she hugged her jacket tighter to her frail body. The walk to school wasn't a long one, but with the cold, her pale cheeks were flushed. She walked into school and was greeted with a blast of hot air. The heat felt good on her cold skin and she secretly smiled. Nobody had seen her smile in a long time, it was as if things had changed so dramatically over the past few months.

She walked over to her locker and spun the combination. She emptied her pack and tossed in her lunch before someone tapped her on the shoulder. Her mind wandered as she though of who it might be. Her heart pounded at a million miles an hour as she turned with eager eyes. It was Ashley. Her eyes turned back to the sorrow-some depressing chestnut that they use to be. Secretly she hated her, but she put on a fake plastic smile as Ashley began to speak.

"Hey El, what's up? How was your weekend?"

'Oh you mean besides wishing I was someone else, getting dumped by my boyfriend that I didn't really love, and cutting myself over and over? Just peachy.'

I couldn't say that because then she would go into that whole "you shouldn't cut yourself" and "Sean wasn't good enough for you anyway" and blah blah blah...I just didn't wanna deal with it. So I just calmly answered her question.

" It was fine. How was yours?"

That was my first mistake. She began to go on and on about her boyfriend and how good he was to her and where they went and all this bullshit that I could care less about. Listening to her never-ending weekend story I realize being me sucks. I'm lonely, depressed, and I don't have anyone to help me. Ash, she's got plenty of friends, a loving boyfriend, and she's not depressed anymore. What it would be like to be her for just a day.

"Anyway, so Craig is meeting me at my locker soon so I'll see you later okay?"

I shook myself out of my daze and nodded, "Yea, I'll see you."

As she walked away I wiped the smile right off my face and continued rummaging through my locker. I found a picture of me and Sean and sneered. He broke up with me for the "cause" girl, Emma. She's such a loser. It doesn't matter anyway because I didn't care about him. I took the picture and crumbled it in my hand and tossed it to the ground. I shadow fell over my locker, 'It's probably Ash,' I thought as I turned to see Craig Manning smiling at me.

"Hey Ellie." His voice so strong and masculine. I was putty in his hands.

"Hi Craig." I squeaked back. He had on a brown shirt with a red plaid button up shirt over it. He was always gorgeous no matter what he wore, but sadly. He was Ashley's boyfriend.

" What's up?" he flashed a beautiful white smile at me and I melted.

"Oh you know, the usual. Sitting at home feeling miserable for myself and snapping my rubber band."

He frowned, "You sure you're okay Ellie? It sounds like you could use someone to hang with."

I shook my head, "Of course I'm fine. I have my ferret...well It's mine and Sean's, but I don't think he's coming back for it."

He placed his warm hand on my shoulder, " Look I'm gunna come over after school and we're going to do something...talk or what ever okay?"

I sighed, "Sure Craig. I think I would like that."

"Cool...see you later."

I watched him walk all the way down the hall...right past Ashley without speaking a word. Was something going on? Maybe I should have listened to what she was telling me. Oh well, nobody cares about her...or me for that matter. Except Craig now for some reason, unless Ash put him up to it.....I'll ask him about it later.

I closed my locker and walked down the hall where Ashley stopped me.

"What did Craig say to you?!?" she yelled.

I looked at her funny, "Umm...he asked me what was up and how my weekend was...why?"

She huffed, "Well because he was suppose to meet me at my locker and after he talked to you he just walked right past me!"

"Ouch, that's cold I guess. Would definitely be minus points on my chart if I were you."

Her eyes grew a sympathetic look, "Well, he is after all bipolar. I mean I guess that gives him a right to act the way he does."

I shook my head and continued walking down the hall. I didn't expect Ash to come after me, but she did.

"Ellie wait......I wanna ask you something."

I stopped and turned around, "What ash?"

"Do you...well how do I put this....do you have a crush on...my boyfriend?"

Now because I'm so good at hiding how I feel I bugged out, "Ash! How messed up would that be?! I mean to be crushing my best friends boyfriend! I wouldn't do that."

She sighed with relief, "Ok, because it seems like whenever I bring you up he stares off into space and smiles."

"Umm, eww. Don't worry Ash. I don't have a crush on your boyfriend."

I secretly smiled inside, Craig did think good about me.

"Listen Ash I hafta go now. I need to get to home room early so I can work on my homework that I didn't do."

She smiled, "Ok El, I'll see you later...hopefully by then the whole situation will be figured out."

I put on the happiest fake smile I could find and I walked away. Seconds later the smile was still there....I couldn't believe what Ash had said about Craig.

'What does this mean? Does he like me? I mean if he does what should I do? I couldn't do something like that to Ash could I?'

Then I thought about it again,

'I don't really like Ash so why should I care? Even though she thinks I'm her friend am I really?'

Oh well....I decided I would worry about that later. I was almost to my home room when I walked passed Emma. She looked like she was reading a letter.

'Probably something from Sean, her love.' I thought.

Suddenly she stopped and grabbed my arm.

"Ellie can I talk to you for a second?"

I glared at her and sent her an evil stare.

"I know you don't like me, but can I just say a few things?"

I shouldn't have given her the benefit of the doubt, but I was nice and decided to talk to her.

"Ok what do you want Emma?"

She gave me the letter and told me to read it.

Emma-

Wasaga Beach is so different from Degrassi and hopefully I'll be returning soon. I wanted to ask you if you could do something for me. Could you find out if Ellie hates me because of what happened and how we ended? I never wanted to break her heart, it's just that I followed mine and it led me to you. I still care about Ellie and I wish we could be friends, but I don't think she would agree. Anyway you should come visit soon, tell Jay to drive you. I'm sure he wouldn't mind. LOL. Ok well I'll talk to you later.

-Sean

I looked at Emma and said, "Ok about this. When you write him back let him know that I'm doing fine and I'm getting over everything. Being friends with him would be hard so I'll have to think about it. I don't hate him completely, but I am a bit upset."

She nodded and began back down the hall, I called her name and she turned around.

"Emma.....thanks."

She smiled and walked away. That was the first civil conversation I've ever had with her, I felt accomplished.

Home room was empty, I guess that's what happens when you arrive 15 minutes early. I heard a bunch of peoples chatter and I rolled my eyes. Paige, Hazel, Jimmy, and Ashley had walked in laughing and talking about only god knows what. I pulled out my homework and pretended to concentrate.

"So anyway I asked him about It and he was like...Me? Like HER?!? Are you CRAZY! You know I care about you."

They began laughing hysterically at Ashley's comment. I knew exactly what they were talking about. I reached for my wrist and began snapping my rubber-band. They kept laughing and I kept snapping. Soon they realized I was their and the sound of snapping radiated throughout the classroom.

"Um Ellie hun are you okay? That looks like it hurts."

I turned around and glared at all of them.

"I'm fine Paige, don't worry about me. Go wave your pomp pomps or whatever it is you do."

She looked so shocked as she called her clan and they followed her out.

"El, are you ok...like seriously?"

It was Ashley, "Leave me alone Ash. Go hang out with your friends and your boyfriend. He does "care about you" so you should go."

She realized that I knew who she was talking about and quickly left. When no one was around I closed the door and began snapping my band at top speed, never had I been so angry before.

Suddenly there was a knock and someone opened the door. It was Marco.

"Hey El, are you alright? What are you doing in here alone?"

Marco had always been someone I had no trouble talking to, but right now I needed him more than he knew.

"Oh Marco!" I ran into his arms and embraced him. He knew exactly how to handle things, he rubbed my back and my hair.

"Sh, everything is going to be okay Ellie. I know you're strong and whatever it is you can get through it."

I looked at him with my saddened eyes, if he was still straight none of this would have ever happen, but I can't blame my misery on him. I knew that no matter what happened to me Marco would be someone who would always be there for me. Forever and until the end of time. He was a friend I could always count on. I loved him more than I had ever loved anyone.

"Marco everything is so crazy and I need to talk to you."

"Well then sit down and tell me what's going on."

As we sat I explained everything from Craig to Ashley to Paige.

"So I don't know what I'm going to do. I can't stop thinking about him."

Marco smiled, 'I see it is true. I think Ellie Nash is in love with a Mr. Craig Manning."

I playfully punched his arm, "MARCO! I need your help."

He laughed and grabbed my hand, "Look El, you're such a great girl. Wonderful, sweet, beautiful, and totally worth more than Craig could handle. I think if you really like him then that's great and I support your decision all the way...but the problem is...well...Craig does have a girlfriend, but....."

He trailed off and I saw him smile. He knew something that I didn't know.

"Marco...what do you know that I don't? Are you hiding something from me?!?"

He looked around as if waiting for someone to save him, "Ok ok fine, but you didn't hear it from me okay....A while ago...like last week or something I was talking to Craig and he told me that he thought you were pretty hot or something and then he said if he wasn't dating Ash then you would be his next pick. He said I was lucky because I had you."

A huge smiled crept across my face for the first time in what seemed like years. I hugged Marco and kissed his cheek.

"Thanks Marco. I owe you one."

He smirked, "You owe me more than just one. I'm just nice and don't make you pay for it."

"Hey Marco." said a voice behind the door. It was Craig.

I didn't wanna look at him because of what Ashley had said.

"Oh hi Craig. -turning to me- Listen El I gotta get to home room, the bell is gunna ring in like five and I still haven't gotten my books."

"Ok," I smiled, "I'll see you later Marco."

Marco got up and went to talk to Craig and about a minute later Craig walked in.

"Hi Ellie."

"Mmm hi Craig." I tried to pull off the what-do-you-have-to-say-because-I-don't-really-care look, but I failed.

"I guess you talked to Ash huh."

I turned to him, "Oh yea I heard ALL about it. Don't worry Craig I won't interfere with you and Ash. You care about her and she cares about you so it's fine."

I turned back to my "work" and started writing.

"Look I'm sorry about that. What was I suppose to tell her? I mean she is my girlfriend. So I told her what she wanted to hear."

" But is it what YOU want to hear Craig?! Do you want to hear Ashley's voice for the rest of your life. Is she really what you want? Because I think you don't know what you want."

Craig looked down, "You're right. I don't know what I want. But the one thing I think I want I can't have."

I looked deeply into his chocolate eyes, " What can't you have Craig?"

"Ellie...what I can't have is..."

-----------------------------------

A/N: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO NO I didn't! Cliffy! Hellz yea! Anyway let me kno what you thought of this. Was it good? Bad? What about the couple? Kk well plz R&R!