So. My first Hetalia fanfic, this should be fun. Romano's pov.

I do not want my phone to ring. So what if I'm sitting around Anotonio's house and staring at my phone? I'm doing that because I want to, not because I want to be called, goddammit! I don't need anyone to call me.

Especially not any annoying Spaniards.

Even if I have called him 7 times already, and gotten his stupid answering machine every time.

I still don't want to be called. I'll just eat some tomatoes, and I most definitely will not call the number that I do not know by heart. I am determined not to call again, because that's something some desperate girl would do, and if there's one thing I'm not, it's a desperate girl. I don't even like him, despite what some people may think. I find myself reaching towards my phone subconsciously. I will not call. I will not call. I will not-

"Hola?"

Fuck. I called. But hey, he's actually answered this time, so I might as well talk to him.

But not because I actually want to!

"When the hell are you getting back?"

"Oh hey Lovi," he's completely unfazed by the greeting and I had forgotten how much you didn't miss his constant annoying happiness, "I meant to call you back! You really should've left a message or something to help me remember and-"

"I asked you a question, bastard."

"Oh yeah, well no need to worry, I'll be back soon. You know how war is, my boss says I gotta stay here, and even though you miss me-"

I can feel the heat rising to my face, "I don't miss you! I'm just asking for..." I look aground for something that won't sound too stupid, "the tomatoes."

I slam my head into the table as silence passes over the line. That could not have sounded stupider if I had been trying.

"So you're asking when I'll be back for a vegetable?"

"It's a fruit, and yes."

More silence meets my answer and I (briefly) consider bludgeoning myself to death on the nice, hard, painful table.

"Whatever you say, Lovi. Just tell the 'tomatoes'," I can hear the airquotes and I want to reach though the phone and punch him for a moment, "that I miss them too and that I'll be home as soon as possible. Bye Lovi~"

"Wait!" I yell before he can hang up, "but the tomatoes aren't as sweet or as red as they usually are. I bet it's because of how you always would sing to them," and I do not miss his stupid annoying singing at all.

"Your singing's really good, Lovi," he coos, "I'm sure they would adore your singing~"

"Shut up, stronzo."

"I'm only trying to help the problem, Lovi~" I can see his stupid ear to ear grin, the one that I hate and do not miss seeing at all.

"Just hurry the fuck up with your stupid war and get back here."

"I know, I know," he laughs and your heart does not leap at the sound, "the tomatoes miss me very much. And I'm sure that you don't even think about me in the slightest except when the poor tomatoes complain."

I slam my head against the table again. I'm going to come out of this conversation missing some brain cells. "You're annoying and I hate you."

He laughs again, "Te quiero también, mi pequeño tómate~ Adios!"

I hang up without saying goodbye, as per usual, and pick up another tomato.

"This is all your fault, you know," I inform the fruit-why the fuck would someone ever call it a vegetable?-of it's wrong doing. It doesn't respond, and after deciding that I'm crazy for talking to food, I eat it. I go through the conversation in my head-but not because I actually liked it or anything!-and realize something.

"mi pequeño tómate~"

"He called me a fucking tomato!" I yell to the empty house, "I will end that fucking tomato bastard!"

So I have no choice but to wait for him to call me again so I can yell at him, not because I want to hear his voice or anything! And I won't call him first again. I'll wait for him to call so I can yell at him for being such a stupid bastard.

Because I hate him, goddammit!

Translations:

Hola- you should know this, but it's hello (Spanish)

Stronzo-asshole, bastard, blah blah blah (Italian)

Te quiero también, mi pequeño tómate~ Adiós!- I love you too, my little tomato~ bye!

Forgive me if I ruined the characterization, Review or whatever if your want.