It wasn't until Reyes was leaving Kralla's Song that he realized how heavily he had been flirting, standing shoulder to shoulder, leaning into the Pathfinder as they spoke. Reyes was usually smooth and charming, nothing new there, but this was different. They fell into their banter immediately, Ryder was simply that easy and enjoyable to talk to, the flirting was almost reflexive.
Reyes knew how dangerous it was to grow attached to anyone here, especially in his line of work, but then, he'd never been very good at that. One need only look around the sums at all those who received anonymous donations as evidence of that. Then again, Ryder was new to Kadara and had yet to be wrapped up in it's politics. It was only a matter of time, sure, but perhaps he could at least indulge while it lasted. Although, he had left Ryder with the bill and now that they were getting down to business it was likely the easy banter would stop.
Apparently Ryder had other plans, however, because it didn't.
"There's still the matter of the bill you left me with," Ryder said after they'd finished discussing plans, and his voice was light, joking. Honestly, Reyes was surprised he didn't seem more annoyed. Instead, Ryder was amused with the situation and somehow that just made Reyes like the man all the more.
"I'm usually the model gentleman," he replied with his most convincing smile.
"I don't believe you," Ryder said with that knowing smirk.
"Because I'm lying. When you're done, come to Tartarus. First round's on me. I promise."
And he meant it too. That was rare.
Reyes knew his code name would inevitably be a topic of conversation. So when Ryder eventually asked, he knew there was no getting around it and he winced, knowing exactly where this was going.
"It's the angaran word for- 'mouth,'" he explained, clearing his throat a little awkwardly. "I'm good with words."
"Among other things?" the Pathfinder prompted, eyebrow raised.
"Never had a complaint."
He didn't want to mislead, normally he went out of his way to sidestep the more suggestive flirts since he was asexual and didn't particularly desire sex. Most of the time it simply felt like too much work and he wasn't interested in a casual night with a stranger. But if it was with the right partner, pleasing them was definitely something he enjoyed. And there was no denying that he was very good at and it. Not that Ryder was actually interested, he reminded himself. As pleasant as that would be, Reyes had heard that joke so many times he was beginning to think it was simply too easy a mark for anyone to pass up.
Reyes had of course offered to be the Pathfinder's contact here. Yes, that had partly been motivated by his desire to hopefully sway him to the Collective's side, but more than that he truly did wish to help. Ryder was a much too trusting stranger in hostile territory given his connection with the Initiative and Reyes was concerned for him. Capable fighter or no, everyone could use someone watching their back.
He was worried that Ryder wouldn't take the offer seriously, but when he came to him asking for intel on the murders, he was thrilled at the opportunity. Yes, he could clear the Collective's name by assisting, but it also meant going into the field and spending a bit more time with the Pathfinder. As selfish as it was, his main focus was the latter.
He was still fairly certain that the Pathfinder likely cared little for him. Reyes made no attempt to hide that he was a liar and he certainly couldn't begrudge anyone's distrust. He knew he should be doing a better job preventing himself from getting too attached, but Ryder seemed determined to make all such attempts futile.
Being in the field again, fighting side by side for the first time, Reyes couldn't help but get lost in the excitement of it, back to back with an ally for the first time in much too long. And, once it was over, Ryder patted him on the back hard enough to jostle him.
"We make a good team," the Pathfinder said warmly and it threw Reyes off entirely.
"Careful, I'll start thinking you like me," Reyes said, almost self-deprecating, reminding himself of all of the people so eager to use him. Perhaps Ryder was too honest and kind to manipulate him, but it was still unlikely that he could actually care for him.
"Would that be so bad?" Ryder had the audacity to ask.
"Depends," Reyes said, much too honestly. "Don't be a stranger, Pathfinder," he said instead of all of the other things he wished to say, and he made his exit.
What else was he supposed to say to that? Perhaps Reyes had simply been around the wrong sorts of people for too long. Then again, Reyes himself was the wrong sort of person and there was no changing that. He'd long since given up hope of ever having any sort of relationship based on trust.
The next time the Pathfinder stopped by, Reyes was much too pleased to see him. It occurred to him that he could ask for his assistance with his most recent difficulty with an old partner of his stealing cargo, and it would be a great excuse to go into the field again together as well. Thankfully Ryder was more than willing and their easy banter and flirting continued. It was shaping up to be a simple excursion, until everything went wrong. The cargo he was supposed to retrieve wasn't there. Zia had outsmarted him.
"The cargo was never here," he realized, sighing when he heard the footsteps approaching.
"I knew you'd figure it out eventually," Zia said as she came around a crate and into view. "You could never resist a big payout."
"What can I say? I'm a greedy man," Reyes said. Because he was. That was the role he was to play and at this point he wasn't so sure it was fiction any longer.
"That's why you don't have any friends," Zia replied. "You're selfish."
"Reyes is a better man than you think," Ryder cut in to his complete astonishment. He couldn't help but look over at the Pathfinder, see the determined set of his jaw and the way he stood defiantly, glaring at Zia. For him.
"Oh honey," Zia said with a laugh. "You have no idea how wrong you are. But you will."
"Leave him out of this," Reyes snapped and the fury in his voice surprised even him.
It was true of course, there was no denying that, but he was suddenly confronted with how desperately he didn't want it to be. He wanted to hang onto what they had, onto the comradery, the friendship, he didn't want to think about how Ryder would look at him once he knew the depths of his sins. No one had ever believed in him before and he desperately wanted to be the man Ryder thought he was, that he knew Reyes could be. And Reyes wished he could shield this man from the corruption of Kadara in return, from the machinations of the underworld, from Reyes' own identity.
"You must really like this one, Reyes," Zia said, causing Reyes to bristle.
"Cut the shit," he practically snarled. He knew he shouldn't be showing his hand this way, but he couldn't help it. He didn't want Ryder to get involved in this part of his life, and he couldn't stand the thought of him getting hurt especially because of Reyes. He was the one who dragged Ryder out here to begin with after all. "What's this all about?"
"You've been taking all the good jobs in Kadara," Zia said. "It's gotten more than my attention."
"So what, the local smuggling union got together and decided to take me down?" It was supposed to be a joke, but given her sly smile, it seemed it wasn't.
"Something like that."
"Shit," Reyes sighed, rubbing at his temple. He really should have seen this coming.
"Move in."
Then it was chaos. He and Ryder were fighting side by side again, but all Reyes felt this time was a sick weight in the pit of his stomach. He'd gotten too distracted, forgetting the warzone he lived in in favor of a few more moments in Ryder's company. And it was Ryder who nearly paid the price for it. He never should have gotten him involved in this.
Once the battle was finally over, he sighed. Whatever issues there had been between himself and Zia, he had never wanted her dead. Simply more evidence of how quickly those who once appeared to enjoy his company could turn to despising him.
"I knew I wasn't popular, but I never thought the other smugglers would team up against me," Reyes said, but he best keep up appearances, keep things light. "Kind of flattering, actually."
"They might try again," Ryder said, holstering his weapon as he stood beside him.
"You're worried about me?" Reyes asked with a smile.
"Reyes," the Pathfinder said warningly, no doubt not appreciating the casual approach he was taking regarding his own safety. It was touching, really, that he cared enough to do so.
"Relax," he assured him. "I know they're coming now. They won't get the jump on me." He sighed again, looking around at the empty room. "All that effort and no credits to show for it." It was disappointing that he didn't even have anything to give Ryder for his troubles.
"Not everything has to be about credits," Ryder said, apparently not upset in the least.
"That's true," Reyes said earnestly. "What you said back there, about me being a better man? Thank you."
"You're welcome," Ryder said and he was smiling at him.
And at the sight Reyes realized that that was it. There was no denying to himself how much he was growing to care for Ryder.
Inviting the Pathfinder to Sloane's little party probably wasn't the wisest decision. It was, however, the more interesting option. He told himself this had nothing to do with the warm feeling he got whenever Ryder came to mind. After their last meeting, it had only grown stronger. Reminding himself it was doubtful to go anywhere and that this was simply for a fun evening, he waited for the busy Pathfinder to call him back. He didn't have to wait long.
"Ryder, I was just thinking about you," he said with a friendly smile as he answered the holocall.
"I'd love to hear more, but this isn't a private channel," Ryder joked.
"I could tell you over drinks," Reyes replied, keeping things clean despite the leading line. He was still uncertain what Ryder was looking for and unwilling to be the first to steer it in that direction. "Sloane's holding a get-together for the locals. I managed to snag an invite. Care to be my plus one?"
"Are you asking me out?" Ryder asked, smiling innocently.
"I- promise to be a perfect gentleman," Reyes said, pausing for only a moment too long, trying to ignore the way hope fluttered in his chest.
"And if I don't want you to be a gentleman?" Ryder urged and there was no misinterpreting that comment at least.
"That can be arranged."
For the most part, Reyes had avoided most of the leading and suggestive flirts out of habit, but he liked Ryder, he cared for him, and whatever connection they had, Reyes wanted it. Chances were, Ryder was simply continuing the banter and wasn't truly interested in the least, and even if he were, the lies Reyes surrounded himself with would ruin this soon enough. But he would take that chance. And perhaps they could at least have a pleasant night together before all that. Thanks to Sloane's private stache if all went according to plan.
To Reyes' infinite amusement, the Pathfinder arrived at the party in a warn hoodie of all things. It just made Reyes like him even more. Yes, this was definitely going to be an entertaining evening. He felt a little guilty ditching Ryder, but he figured all would be forgiven once he returned with his spoils. Searching took much longer than he had anticipated, however, and he was kneeling down trying to find the serial numbers on a crate when Ryder apparently came looking for him.
"'Take the night off. Come out for a drink." Should've known you were up to something," Ryder's voice startled him and he jumped up, backing away from the crates.
"It's not what it looks like," he said.
"So you didn't use me as a distraction to go through Sloane's stuff?"
"Okay, yes," Reyes admitted. "But it's for both our benefit. I promise."
"You've been making a lot of promises-"
Before he could continue, they both heard footsteps approaching. It would be a shame to get caught now. He wouldn't even be able to retrieve his prize so he could finally do something to thank Ryder.
"Shit- someone's coming. We need a distraction!"
He was about to pull Ryder behind a crate, but before he could make a move, Ryder closed the distance between them and suddenly he was kissing him. Ryder was urgent and needy and Reyes tried not to read too much into it, simply enjoying it while he could. He wanted to stare into his eyes when they finally drew apart, seeing the Pathfinder flushed and out of breath thanks to him, but he forced himself to look around, to make sure the coast was clear. He didn't want to appear too interested. Surely this was only a ruse to distract the guard and nothing more.
"I think we're in the clear," Reyes said.
"Maybe another kiss?" Ryder asked hopefully. "Just to be sure."
"Now you're just teasing," Reyes said with a chuckle, still self deprecating, still leaving room for Ryder to brush it off as a joke, in case he didn't want this after all, in case he was only humoring him.
Instead of dwelling on that, he turned back to the crates. Finally locating the proper one, he leapt up onto it, rummaged around inside, and victoriously pulled out his goal.
"Finally! Here it is," he said as he jumped down, holding it aloft.
"That's what this was all for?" Ryder asked skeptically. "Whiskey?"
"The only bottle of Mount Milgrom in Andromeda. Triple-distilled and 645 years old. This isn't whiskey-" he said, cradling the bottle in his arms. "It's treasure."
That seemed to change Ryder's tune. "I hope you're planning on sharing," he said hopefully, eyeing the bottle with interest.
"We'll see," Reyes said with a wink. "Let's get out of here."
Reyes took his hand and, as the two of them made a run for it, he felt young again. Ever since coming to this part of the galaxy, nothing had gone as planned. There'd been near-constant war, starvation and death all too commonplace. He felt so much older than he really was, trying to carve something good out of the hell they had, rationalizing with himself that any atrocities he committed were for the greater good, but he wasn't sure how true that was any longer.
He by no means deserved this but he seemed to have found a little bit of happiness amongst the chaos, laughing like he hadn't a care in the world, running off with their spoils as if it was the worst thing he'd ever done. And the smile on Ryder's face, the sound of his laugh, was a gift.
But it was an illusion. As they reached his little perch on the rooftop overlooking Kadara, a place he went to remember what he was fighting for, reality set back in. The Pathfinder was a good man, kind and full of life, with a bright future as the saviour of humanity. How long until he found out the kind of man Reyes truly was? How long until he started to loathe him as he loathed himself? Reyes couldn't bring himself to regret his actions, he still believed Sloane would doom them all if left unchallenged and he couldn't sit by and watch Kadara and what little good was left here fall, but could Ryder truly accept that?
"Gorgeous, isn't it?" He said, gazing out over the rooftops, breaking the contemplative silence between them. "I sometimes forget. Is Andromeda everything you hoped it would be?"
"Every day's an adventure. Even my nights off are interesting. What about you? Why did you come here, Reyes?" Ryder asked as he passed him the bottle of whiskey.
He paused long enough to take a drink before looking out across the city again. "To be someone," he said simply. He'd given up on that dream long ago. It was the only way he knew how to do something for Kadara. No, he would live in darkness and eventually vanish from memory as if he'd never existed.
"You're someone to me," Ryder said as he turned to sit closer beside him and Reyes gave him a soft smile.
"I'm starting to think that kiss was more than just a distraction," he said because he still couldn't quite bring himself to believe it was true. But Ryder was leaning forward and he took a chance and kissed him again, feeling Ryder's hand in his hair, pulling him closer. When they finally drew apart, he remained close, foreheads pressed together as they shared breath.
He wanted to stay up here forever, to remain in a moment where Ryder still saw possibility in him, when Reyes still had some sort of hope that he might have this despite not deserving it, but all things must come to an end. They lingered at the docks, both preparing to go their separate ways, until Reyes finally spoke.
"Thanks for being my plus one. I had a great time." He said it casually, as if he hadn't had the best night in recent memory.
"We kissed," Ryder said, eyebrow raised and barely able to hide the amused smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
"Twice," Reyes corrected.
"Shouldn't we talk about it?" Ryder asked.
"I'd rather keep you guessing," Reyes said. Because the longer they drew this out, the longer he could put off reality crashing down and ruining this feeling. And because he enjoyed winning that amused smile on Ryder's face. That image stayed with him as he gave Ryder one final quick kiss on the cheek and turned to his ship.
Reyes hadn't been back to Tartarus for some time. With everything that was happening, he had been busy in the field, overseeing and making sure they were prepared. It was time to kill Sloane. The Collective was in place, ready to take over, all that was left was this last confrontation. The only thing he hadn't foreseen was Ryder arriving with her.
It wasn't like Reyes could call things off now. He supposed this was a good a time as any to reveal his identity. It was time for a little honesty, even if it resulted in Ryder loathing him like everyone else. As Ryder and Sloane stood in the center of the room, he made his move. He had a pretty good entrance if he did say so himself.
"You look like you're waiting for someone," Reyes called out as he stepped from the shadows on a ledge above them.
"I'm here for the Charlatan, not some third-rate smuggler," Sloane said, apparently not catching on. Ryder did, of course.
"They're one and the same," Ryder said and there was a sadness to his voice, as if realizing everything that was to happen, no doubt looking at everything they'd been through together in a different light.
"Surprise," Reyes said.
"This whole time… you've been using me," Ryder said and Reyes could hear the heartbreak in his words.
"Not everything was a lie," Reyes said, desperately hoping he could understand. "You know who I really am."
"You said you wanted to 'settle things.' How?" Sloane demanded impatiently.
"A duel," Reyes said, back to business, the mask of indifference firmly back in place. "You and me. Right now. Winner takes Kadara Port."
"You want to avoid war by shooting each other?" Ryder asked, clearly concerned.
"Two people shooting each other is better than a lot of people shooting each other," Reyes pointed out, turning back to Sloane for her answer.
"I'll take those terms."
It was a grim smile Reyes gave as the two of them began circling each other, Ryder stepping away looking uncertain. It was clear he wanted to intervene, but then what? Let the actual war play out and cause the deaths of so many more? No, this was the only way and they all knew it. As they continued to circle each other like sharks, there was a flicker of something in Ryder's face. Recognition perhaps? Had he seen through his plan so quickly? Would he interfere after all? But he didn't. He simply stood sadly by as the sniper's shot rang through the air and Sloane fell to the ground, shock on her face.
"Bang," Reyes said, one hand raised, fingers in the shape of a gun as Sloane died at his feet. Ever the showman. And then he was all business as his soldiers came out of the shadows around them. "Get her out of here. Prepare the crew. Kadara Port is ours tonight."
He headed towards the exit of the cave, the Pathfinder close behind. Reyes had been victorious, but Ryder knew who he truly was now. There was no hiding from the truth any longer.
"Guess you got everything you wanted," Ryder said when they were alone.
"What I want is peace," Reyes said. He'd done all of this, given up so much for what he'd hoped was the greater good. He wanted Ryder to know that if nothing else. "Sloane would've brought war to Heleus. We don't have the population to survive that."
"Why didn't you trust me?" Ryder asked suddenly and that brought Reyes to a stop.
What was he supposed to say? How could he explain his selfishness, his greed, wanting just a moment more with Ryder, knowing he'd likely hate him in the end? He turned to him, studying his face, wishing he knew what he was thinking.
"I liked the way you looked at me," he finally admitted. "I was afraid that would change."
"Nothing's changed," Ryder said, leaving Reyes speechless because it was true. They stared at each other for a long moment, Reyes disbelieving that he could be so lucky.
"You have bad taste in men," Reyes said finally. He pressed forward, kissing Ryder, wanting to convey everything he couldn't put into words.
"The worse," Ryder confirmed, whispering in his ear and Reyes laughed as he hugged him close.
They couldn't stay here forever, in a dark cave with his soldiers nearby. It was with great regret that he eventually pulled away. It was time to return to Kadara Port.
"Thought you'd be in the throne room," Ryder said, as he entered his office and sat down casually beside him. "Tartarus is a little shabby for Kadara's new leader, don't you think?"
"Come on, Ryder. You know I prefer to rule from the shadows." Reyes said, smiling at him, pleased he had stopped by.
"You are a shady bastard," Ryder said, clearly joking.
"But a handsome one, right?" Reyes said. But it was time to get back to work. "The angara you met at Sloane's party- Keema Dohrgun. She's agreed to be my front. And with Sloane gone, there's room for the Initiative on Kadara."
"I'll start rounding up volunteers for an outpost. Might take a while- you exiles have a reputation."
"Not all of us are thieves and murderers. I am, but some of the others are perfectly nice."
"Perfectly," Ryder said with a grin.
"Jokes aside," Reyes said. "I want this outpost just as much as you do. It will have my full protection. That's a promise."
"I allied myself with the right man."
Those words, said so simply, touched Reyes more than they should. Despite everything, the lies and the violence and everything he had done as the Charlatan, Ryder still didn't regret this, didn't regret supporting him, trusting him. He smiled at him for a long moment, feeling lucky to have met this man. Remembering himself, he jumped to his feet.
"If we're done with all the boring business talk, there is something I wanted to do."
"You're up to something," Ryder said, looking suspicious. "Again."
"I neglected you on our first date," Reyes said, pressing a few keys on his omnitool. As the music kicked on, he bowed before Ryder and offered him his hand. "How about we fix that?"
"I really don't-" Ryder began, looking uncertain, but Reyes caught his hand and pulled him up onto his feet and into an embrace.
"It's not the waltz," he said and Ryder chuckled
Ryder acquiesced and the two of them fell into a slow rhythm. To Reyes' amusement, Ryder truly couldn't dance, but it was easy enough to lead him along. Gazing into his eyes, Reyes felt happier than he thought possible. There was still a weight in his stomach, knowing this next step wouldn't be easy, but it had to be done. And, for once, he felt hopeful. Ryder had been willing to accept him before, after all.
"Since leaving the Nexus," Reyes admitted eventually. "My survival has depended on secrets. I don't want any more of those between us, Ryder."
"You're the encrypted one," Ryder said smiling, nudging him gently.
Reyes chuckled "I was about to say something cheesy." But then he decided to commit and say it after all. "Consider me hacked."
"Oh my god," Ryder said with a groan, but he was smiling as he buried his face in Reyes' neck. But then Ryder seemed to realize something and pulled away enough so they were face to face again, hurrying to continue. "But I don't want you making promises you can't keep. If you always have secrets, that's fine. Everyone has them to some degree and I don't expect you to tell me every little detail of your life. Just don't lie to me about the big stuff."
Reyes could only stare at him in open awe. It was true that he didn't want to lie to Ryder, he didn't want to hide who he was or what he had done. Even if it drove him away, Ryder needed to know. But there was so much, he didn't know where to begin or if he could ever tell it all. But that didn't matter. Ryder trusted him and his judgement, knew the choices he'd made were his attempt to make the best of a bad situation, to protect as many people as possible and Ryder didn't need to know every minute detail, he didn't want Reyes to try to justify himself. No one had ever believed in him that much before.
"Thank you," he said, voice hushed.
"For what?"
"For accepting me."
Ryder smiled a little, looking bemused. Then he wrapped his arms around Reyes' neck, pulling him closer and kissed him as they continued to sway with the music.