Author's Notes: Basically the first thing I've written in about a year, based off the Marianas Trench song, "Sing Sing". Lovely song, it got stuck in my head on a way to a competion, and this story popped into my head. Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I do not own Zexion and Demyx, they belong to Square Enix/Disney. I do not own the song "Sing Sing", it belongs to Marians Trench.
The high pitched shrieks and screams of crazy fans were muffled to an almost unnoticable hum by the thick door backstage. As said door swung open, periwinkle blue eyes barely tore themselves away from the tiny print of the old novel before snapping back to the spot where they left off as the sound increased.
Clearing his throat, the tall dirty blond shut the door behind him, and walked to the middle of the room.
"Can I have your attention?
I just open my mouth
Is it clear?
Is it loud for you?"
"We need to talk." There was no sense in beating around the bush. Not when both parties knew this conversation was going to happen.
"I have nothing to say to you, Demyx." The slate haired youth didn't even bother to looked up while speaking. A few moments of silence, a sigh came from the other.
"You know, it'd just be easier if you'd finally give me an answer. Avoiding it forever isn't an option, not if you care about-" He stopped himself, watching the scholar as he tensed to the point he began shaking. Perhaps the wrong choice of words, but then again.
Perhaps the only choice to get them to their answer.
A few moments of pure silence crept by, before he spoke again.
"Is it being contolled?" It being the depression. The thing that dictated how the other thought, how the other acted. This only arouse painful faces and hesitant actions from the smaller of the men. Demyx tilted his head, attempting to see into those downcast eyes. He was having little luck, and took one more step towards the small couch."Zexion?"
"You just need me to be stable
But I won't be able
To keep it together again
Now don't pretty please me
You're not making it easy to slow me down"
Zexion began to shake violently, and as he attempted to set his novel aside, it fell from his hands. The blond bit his lip, moving to kneel in front of the trembling man. He picked up the fallen book and placed it on a small coffee table to his left. As struggled breaths began to become louder and louder, Demyx put a hand onto one of Zexion's bony knees. A sharp sob broke through the room, and Zexion's head snapped up, to look the mullet sporting rockstar in the eye for the first time in weeks.
"It's no wonder
I'm not eating
I'm not sleeping"
Demyx was not prepared for what he saw.
Deep, dark circles under those periwinkle blue eyes disrupted the porcelain skin on his gaunt face. Those exact same eyes that used to be filled with affection and pride were now taken over by self-hate and sorrow. Panic and fear also plagued his facial features, partly due to his hyperventilation.
Of course, another reason was because he didn't want Demyx to see. He didn't want to be judged, didn't want to see the disappointment and pity in his baby blues. But Zexion was far too out of it to concentrate on what those eyes held in their depths.
Without hesitation, Demyx swiftly got up on the couch beside his lover, and quickly pulled him into his lap. He rested his chin on Zexion's head, and one arm reached around to hold his waist as the other went around his back, to rub his arm.
Shakey breaths came out loud and strong from the small man, and Demyx began humming. Between that, and the sound of his slow, even heartbeats, Zexion found himself feeling guilty.
Seeing how this wasn't helping, Demyx tried another thing that usually comforted his depressed boyfriend.
Song.
"You sing
Sing, sing to me
Sing me something I need
Sing new, sing good
God I wish that I could"
He sung quietly into Zexion's ear, his nose buried in the other's indigo hair. If anyone were to walk in, they would only assume that there was a secret being exchanged, not a song.
Loud, heartwrenching cries began to come out of Zexion. They were struggled; he began to have a hard time breathing. To anyone else, this would seem like a bad sign.
But Demyx knew better.
This was a huge step for his partner, to be showing his emotion like this. And he needed to be able to help him no matter what would happened, no matter what had happened.
Demyx kissed Zexion's temple gently, inhaling the vanilla scent of his hair.
"Are you hearing me now?
Hear the sad little sounds as they fall from my mouth"
Slowly, the panicked cries became pathetic sobs, which in turn became hiccups and coughs. When the majority of the sound died down, Demyx loosened his grip on Zexion, and leaned down to his eye level.
"Can we talk now?" he asked softly, baby blues staring straight into those usually unexpressive eyes.
The fear was evident, and a sad smile crept to his face. "Please Zex? I promise, nothing will happen. I just want to-"
"Help?" Zexion looked away, a bitter note to his voice. "You want to help, right? Well, what if you can't?" He asked, removing Demyx's arms from his body, and walking across the room to lean on the the vanity. He stared at his reflection for a few seconds, before looking away, disgusted.
"Zex, I, I just don't know what you want now. How can I when you won't even talk anymore?" Demyx asked, sitting on the edge of the couch.
"How can I tell you what I want, if I don't even know?" Frustrated words were said, quietly, as if to himself.
"Have you thought about trying the medication again?" The dirty blond countered, having heard the other's mumbling.
Zexion scoffed at this; of course he had thought about it. But trying the medication brought pros and cons.
But Demyx may as well know the truth why he stopped the medication in the first place.
"Dem, have you ever, truly wondered why I stopped taking the drugs?" Zexion asked, his voice like ice, and his back still turned to the other. Yet, in the mirroir, he could see the confusion on the blond's face, clear as day. "Have you?"
"Well, I-" he stumbled for words, feeling lost as Zexion's voice grew louder.
"Of course not! Because you didn't want to have to finally admit the truth." These words were dripping in malice and Demyx kept his mouth shut, knowing that he'd find out anyways.
"You didn't want to have to deal with me, because you knew what I had been doing all along and you were scared." He paused for a moment, watching as a drop of blood ran down the side of his hand. He pulled his sleeve down a bit, watching the red liquid divert its path down the soft part of his arm and over the darkned scar lines.
"You may not have voiced it, but you knew what I tried to hide." Zexion abruptly turned around, pulling his sleeves up further, allowing the mullet headed blond to see the arms he had hid for the past while. Demyx's eyes widened, as he walked closer to his tiny lover, and gently took his wrists in his hands. Sure, he had an idea of what he was hiding, but never in his wildest dreams had her ever imagined this.
Scars ran up and down his forearm, fresh and old. Some were faint pink lines, but others, others were fresh, red and purple skin surrounding the aggressive and slightly jagged scabs.
"Shit, Zex...," Demyx muttered, swallowing hard. "I... I'm sorry. But why didn't you tell me?"
Yanking his arms free, he backed away from the taller man. He dropped his head and it hung
"Because I knew you wouldn't have understood! You have never understood!" Yelling, Zexion balled his hands into fist before crossing his arms. "Do you have any idea what it's like, to be unable to feel anything at all? When not only the negative emotions are gone, but also the ones that actually make life worth living. So it's better when I was off of the drugs."
Shakey breaths began again, and he began to sway, dangerously close to losing his balance and hitting the floor.
"As for the cutting, well, I did for you," he mumbled, biting his lip in the process. Demyx looked at him incredulously, waiting to hear what he meant before he reacted.
"I knew how happy you were once I started on the medication; once I stopped feeling so depressed. And I wanted you to be happy, so I kept on it. But I needed to feel something too, so I tried it once. And you know what I found out?" Zexion asked, periwinkle eyes lifting up to stare coldly at Demyx. "Just like you, I can't stop at one."
The malice dripped off those words, and something in Demyx snapped. He quickly lunged forwards, backing Zexion into the closed door, and trapping him there with his arms to either side of his head. Leaning over the smaller adult, Demyx brought his face within inches of the other's. The pity and sympathy was no longer there, just a cold, aggressive stare.
"That," Demyx seethed, teeth gritting, "was only done to protect you." His breath blew over Zexion's face, smelling strongly of spearmint gum and cherry losanges. He narrowed his eyes at the person who held him there.
"Yeah, right, Demy," he spat, struggling against the other, trying to push him back, "because if you care about protecting someone, you'll sleep with someone else to do so!"
Demyx wrenched the two small wrists in his hand up higher, bringing Zexion's feet to hang inches above the ground. He would let him be upset about it. Granted, he'd even let him be angered with him. But to be accusing him of not caring? No, that just wasn't acceptable.
"Do you think that I wanted to hurt you? Do you think that I wanted for you to find out?" He brought his forehead down to Zexion's, headbutting him with little force. "Do you, Zexy?" he growled, pupils narrowing into slits.
Small, mumbled whispers came from the captured young man, and he shivered violently under the other. Demyx smirked.
"I didn't think so. Because I know that you know," he breathed, bring his lips millimeters away from Zexion's, "that I love you." Crashing their lips together, Demyx released his grip on his wrists, and wound one arm around the others back, and the other around his his shoulders.
The kisses had started out needy, desperate, and fast, but slowly progressed into longer, more passionate ones and Zexion felt himself getting into them more. He snaked an arm around the other's neck to bring his face closer, deepening the kiss. The other went to Demyx's cheek, stroking it softly as the anger melted away, and pure bliss finally took over his body.
"All my indecision
All of my excess
Don't you ever tell me I'm not lovin' you best
I just need a minute
I just need a breathe
It gets very hard to drink to my continued success."
AN: Anything centered and italicised are lyrics to the song.
