It was a fine afternoon in the Mushroon Kingdom. Everything was fine, no one was kidnapped, it was just normal. And average, mundane days call for average, mundane activities. Mario walked along the brown ground and approached a bottomless pit, looking into it. "Same as usual" he thought to himself as he stared into the abyss. He quickly took off his overalls and boots, tossing them aside as he held his flaccid dong in his right hand. "Time to take a piss."
Mario stared at nothing as he let his penis do the work, unleashing a wide yellow stream of pure urine into the hole. In fact, it was so wide and yellow that Mario momentarily considered the possibility that he had some sort of weird STD, but he quickly dismissed it, considering that he was a virgin. A loud splashing noise could be heard from his pee hitting whatever was contained in the darkness of the pit, potentially just more of his piss from all the times he unloaded his bladder here previously.
Just as he finished using his makeshift toilet, he heard a loud, annoying voice shout at him from behind his back. "What the hell are you dooo-ing?" Mario turned his head to look at whatever it was, and behind him, he saw a Goomba, standing perfectly still. Mario couldn't help but wonder how long the enemy was standing there for, or if he didn't know what a man urinating looked like. Not lingering on the queries for long, he responded with "I'm taking a piss!".
The Goomba didn't seem to be phased at all by his words. "Okay, but why aren't you jumping at me?" he said, staring at Mario with an unwavering expression. "That's what you're supposed to do". Mario, understandably, was starting to get a little mad. He was just here to take his afternoon number 1, not to get scolded by a lowly Goomba about how he's supposed to live his life. "I might do it focking later", Mario said with an annoyed tone. The Goomba didn't take kindly to this.
"No, I'm a motherfocking enemy, you're supposed to jump at me" he rebutted. At this point, Mario started to understand the Goomba's motivation for doing this. It wasn't a taunt, he just wanted his life to end, potentially due to his lack of arms or some other similar issue. "Okie dokie then, let me pull up my pants again first, and then maaaybe I'll jump on you" he said, not caring enough to correct the fact that he was wearing overalls and not pants.
The Goomba started to get irrationally mad, but not visibly so, as he was still wearing the same expression. "Maybe?! MAYBE?! ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR FOCKING MIND?! NO! JUMP ON ME NOW, MOTHERFOCKER!" he shouted at Mario, all patience that he might've had completely gone. Mario, who had dealt with situations worse than this previously, calmy responded with "Let me get my pants first". "Ugh, fine..." the goomba uttered in defeat.
Little did they know that someone was watching the altercation unfold with a camera in his hands...