AN: Hello readers! This is just for a bit of fun so there probably won't be any regular updates. There also isn't any particular plot, but who knows, it may develop into something. You may recognise this if you've read 'Outside the Story'. I decided that I would turn it into it's own thing. No prior knowledge necessary. Enjoy!

Introduction

SB: Well obviously I, Sirius Back, know a lot about girls. So I decided to help out every other boy at Hogwarts by writing this book.

JP: Ehhemmm.

SB: With the help of my trusty sidekicks Moony and Prongs.

RL: Hey!, JP: Oi!

SB: We are the marauders and this is 'The Marauders Guide to Girls', as written by a dictation quill.

RL: Hey why isn't Peter here?

JP: Please, Reemy, Pete doesn't know the first thing about women.

RL: And you do?

JP: Of course. Have you not seen how Evans fawns over me.

RL: James, Lily hates your guts.

JP: She does not!

RL: Yes she does.

SB: Now, now fellas. No fighting.

JP: ...

SB: James, stop scowling at Moony.

JP: Hummmph.

SB: Anyway, we are going to let you dip into some of our vast knowledge of girls and help you-

RL: Wait a minute, why am I here?

JP: Yes, why is he here? He clearly knows nothing about women.

RL: Hey! just because Lily can't stand you, it doesn't mean you have to take it out on me.

JP: You're WRONG! Evans loves me!

SB: No she doesn't Prongs. Moony, you're here because you're sensitive and girls like that kind of crap.

JP: ...

RL: James, stop scowling at Padfoot.

JP: Hummmph

SB: Now in this book we are going to record everything we know about girls, good and bad experiences with girls, and advice for getting the girl you want. We are about to share with you all the secrets of-

PP: Hey guys! What are you doing?

SB: Nothing Peter!, JP: What? We're not doing anything!, RL: Absolutely nothing of interest or value.

SB: Wait, what do you mean by that Moony?!

RL: Nothing, nothing at all.

PP: I'm just gonna go...

SB: Okay back to what I was saying,-

RL, JP: Uurgghhhh!

SB: Oi!

RL: I think this introduction is long enough already.

SB: Fine. On with the book.