Title: The right choice.
Author: Sairs
Summary: Rose awakes from a nightmare and analyses life with the Doctor.
Set after Dalek. Rose/9thDoctor
Disclaimer: The characters do not belong to me they belong to the BBC and I've just borrowed them for a little adventure.
"Exterminate! Exterminate!" The electronic monotone reverberated through her, shaking her from her nightmare.
She pushed the duvet from her body and reached out for the glass of water on her nightstand. Greedily she gulped the liquid hoping to wash away the lasting remnants of her nightmare that still clung in the air.
The glass now empty, she returned it to the nightstand and sat on the edge of her bed, not wanting to return to slumber just yet in case it haunted her again.
She stood up and walked around her room, her hand gently touching the walls, her fingers sensing the pulse of the Tardis gently resonating through it. The sensation calmed her, grounded her. The Tardis was home and when she was within its walls she knew she was safe.
She walked back to her bed and sat down, pulling her knees towards her body and hugged them. She allowed her mind to examine all of her adventures since leaving Earth, how the Doctor had opened her universe, literally and how she had come to rely upon him for her security. Well not exactly security, she was certainly okay at handling herself in any situation that they had happened to find themselves in, but he was her home now, the one person in the universe who understood her and what she was experiencing.
Her visit to London had proved that her mum and Mickey didn't really understand why she couldn't stay, why she needed to go with him, because once she'd tasted his lifestyle and adventure, she knew she'd never be able to go back to working in a shop.
He had made it clear to her that it could be, would be dangerous but he had trusted her and allowed her into his world.
Together they had escaped death on every adventure, but that was exhilarating and she knew he was there with her, with his years of experience giving him an insight. But it had been the look on his face when he had seen her standing with it that had shaken her to her very core. It was the very entity that had destroyed his race, his family and had left him alone in the universe. Well except for her.
Relief had washed over his face when he saw that she was still alive, but then it had been replaced with hatred, pure and simple hatred. Not directed at her but at the Dalek. She could understand where that emotion had surfaced from, she also had hated it, hated it for the way it had exterminated every living thing it had encountered, except for her. It had felt connected to her, could sense everything she had felt and experienced in that split second when she had touched it. Not only had it taken her DNA but it had read her entire history and it knew everything about her, even her friendship with him.
Relief had swept trough her when it had died, as she knew it had swept through him. She should have felt guilty about it being the last of its species, the way it had been tortured, but the Dalek's pain was insignificant in comparison to his pain. She had seen it cloud his eyes; darken his face when he thought she wasn't looking. He never wanted her to see his pain, had tried to keep it buried inside, hidden behind his bouncy, energetic character that thrived on showing her the universe.
She stretched out on her bed, staring at the ceiling, wishing for a moment that she had a window to look through, to stare at, and to distract her from her thoughts. What she would give at this moment to see children chasing each other round the bins in the tower block's courtyard.
Four months. That's how long she had been travelling with him, in her own timeline. Four months of adventures but this had been the closest she had actually come to dying.
If she had died, what would he have done? Would he have taken his anger out on the Dalek? Would he have programmed the Tardis to take him somewhere to grieve? Would he have allowed himself that?
The silence of her room was almost deafening, she needed to distract her thoughts. She should be happy to be alive, to continue her adventures, but she couldn't get the Doctor's look of pain from her mind.
She stood and grabbed her dressing gown, wrapping it around her body as she left her room. She relished the coolness of the Tardis' floor chilling the soles of her feet. It reminded her that she should enjoy every sensation, make the most of her life, because she couldn't be certain how many more tomorrows she had left.
She entered the control room, half expecting to find him tinkering with his sonic screwdriver, but the room was deserted.
She sighed. She'd come here hoping to find him, to check that he was okay.
"Rose?" His voice echoed and jolted her from her thoughts.
She turned towards him, a small smile passing over her lips as she noticed the concern etched over his face, his blue eyes tinged with pain.
"Are you alright?" he asked, moving towards her.
She nodded, "Couldn't sleep. Thought a walk might relax me a little."
He closed the distance between them, he stood a few inches from her, close enough to be comforting, but not too close to invade her space.
"I'm sorry," she said, avoiding his eyes.
"What for?" he asked quietly.
""For touching it. Freeing it. I didn't know."
He reached out and gently swept a lose tendril of hair from her cheek. "Its okay, Rose. You didn't know, you showed it compassion and it used you. Used you to get to me. It should be me that's apologising to you. I closed the doors." His hand dropped to his side, his eyes studying a small crack in the Tardis' floor.
"You had no choice; if it had escaped it would have destroyed Earth, just like…" She couldn't bring her self to finish the sentence.
"But I had a choice."
"And you made the right one. You saved my world."
"But I could have lost you," He admitted, the words barely more than a whisper.
She reached out and grasped his hand, squeezing it gently, "You'll have to try harder than that to lose me. You offered to show me the universe and I haven't seen enough of it yet. There's no way I'm going anywhere, unless it's with you. You said you could make me no promises, you couldn't guarantee my safety, just like I can't guarantee yours."
He raised his eyes slowly and met hers; he was overwhelmed with what he saw there, and the openness with which she bared her soul to him.
She smiled. For the first time he was being completely honest with her, sharing with her what he feared and dreaded.
"Are you sure you still want to travel with me?"
Her smile broadened into a huge grin, "Of course I'm sure, although if something does ever happen to me, you know you're going to have to explain it to my mum."
He rolled his eyes, "Jackie! I don't think I'd escape with my life!"
"Just keep that thought in your head next time we get into a difficult situation. I'm hoping it will help you to come up with a solution quickly."
"It's certainly a motivational image," he grinned, for the first time that evening, finally feeling comfortable with the choice he'd made. "Cup of tea?" He asked, relishing the feel of her hand in his, as he pulled her gently towards the direction of the kitchen.
"Make it cocoa and you've got a deal," she replied, willingly following him as she would willingly follow him into the next adventure they found. She was his companion and she knew he needed her just as much as she needed him.