Author; Greengo
Editors/second opinion; Chris, James & C.j
/Greengo's hell hole/
Here we are back in the compressed version of hell (A.K.A. Greengo's room) C.j is playing the knife game... on James's hand. Chris is contemplating his life & how he is friends with these people & Greengo is typing these words...See... type type type... word after word ... letter after lett...!
C.j punches Greengo in the back of the head
C.j; Stop it, they get the point
Greengo; & so did I, take you're damn rings off next time
C.j; Then it wouldn't hurt as much... tsk fool
Greengo; Anyways i'm feeling like writing another lemon
The room goes silent, Chris begins to cry
James; What did you say?
C.j; You didn't learn you're lesson when the lemon fairy paid you a visit?
Greengo; Lemon fairy? That time I heard a tiny voice shout "Baka" & then it went black?
C.j; Indeed, that was because the lemon fairy hit you with a very big mallet
Greengo blinks in confusion, the others sigh
James; You sure you want to write another... you got bored of Shinji & wrapped the story up quickly last time?
Greengo; That's because he was a little prick that always acted like he was afraid & was forced to pilot... he sapped up the torment, twisted little git
C.j; Him... Twisted? you have cheek to talk... remember when you thought you were gonna die?
Greengo; That was different, you would be freaked out too & contemplating that if you're going down, you might as well take some others down with you
James; 'Suppose
Chris; Anyways what do you have in mind for this one… you pretty much involved everyone in the last one… lessee Rei, Asuka, Hikari, Maya, Ritsuko, Misato briefly, yep everyone
Greengo; I was thinking of doing a self insert lemon
James, C.j, Chris; 0o;
Greengo; What?
:BAKA: Wallop, Thud
Chris; I'll get the smelling salts
After some time of re-cooperating
Greengo; Hmmm.. That hit on the head gave me an idea
C.j; Get a job?
Greengo; --' no, instead of doing a self insert lemon… I'll do a self insert fan-fic
James; My god, that hit to the head drained all of his sleaziness
Greengo; Nah, I'll still put in some of that :P
Chris; Well go on then
Greengo; Right now before I continue, the main story is going to need some extreme editing in order for the third impact not to happen, for i'm planning on continuing on from after Kaoru's death as if "that's that… normal stuff now "
C.j; You just don't like Kaoru
Greengo; Neither do you
C.j shrugs
C.j; Anyway give me a list of what needs editing & I'll sort it out before you jump in & do whatever you have in mind
Greengo; Do WHOever I have in mind don't you mean
:BAKA:
Neon Genesis Evangelion- fan-fic
& now for something completely normal (Temporary title)
Chapter
one; Slight editing
/Tokyo 3 – outside NERV HQ/
We come down from the usual fade in to see Tokyo-3 in ruins & Asuka in her Unit 02 standing in the middle of amass of smouldering debris with nine white Eva units circling above her. Just as the Eva units are about to make there decent, a large portal opens up on the sky just above the pyramid structure… A man comes floating out of the void, he observes where he is before saying aloudly.
C.j; Shiiit, talk about cutting it fine… ALRIGHT I AM C.J, FEAR ME, DO AS I SAY OR PERISH.
Upon realising that no-one heeded his words, he descends towards Unit 02.
C.j; Hope you don't mind me borrowing this?
As he goes to the entry plug of the Eva & overrides it for emergency eject, the plug ejects, he pulls out a very bitchy Asuka swearing in her native tongue, he takes off her little hair band neuro thingies & throws her towards the lake & gets inside.
C.j; Right now how the fuck do you work this… Ah it's coin operated, now to deal with these damn Sephirothic fuckers
He attempts activate the unit & surprisingly it tries to reject him, after giving the panel a severe kicking it complies.
C.j; If it works with TV's & computers then kicking you will do the same
Eva unit; Bitch
C.j; Fuck up
As he finally gets the unit working, the other Eva's have descended & are about to attack. C.j runs up to one & before it could activate it's A.T field, he rips off the plating & pulls out the plug, then as he is about to crush it one of the other units tries to stab him with there double edge blades, he deflects the blade with the entry plug before grabbing the weapon out of the Eva's grasp & then impaling the Eva through it's chest & ripping the plug to bits… After a brief but bloody battle C.j said to himself.
C.j; I fail to see how Asuka failed in destroying these weaklings
Suddenly he noticed the Eva's coming back on-line & was struck in the back of the head with one of the blades, the Eva rubbed it's head before swinging round & being greeted by a punch in the face.
C.j; Dang… forgot about the whole resurrecting thing, Fucking little shit
He grabbed the offending Eva by it's neck & ripped it's head off then smashed it's core to oblivion... thankfully making it unable to activate once again C.j thought for a minute before shouting
C.j; James I could do with a little help here, these Eva's are taking to long to destroy & if I remember right Gendo is about to use Rei for his plans.
Out of no where there was a reply
James; Ok
Then there was another portal opening & James descended towards NERV
C.j;A minute remaining huh... Right, now where were we?
/NERV HQ – Central DOGMA/
In the depths of DOGMA central Gendo & a very naked (Not the happy kind though) Rei were making there way to the room that contains Lilith, Just as the guy who wears sun-glasses in dark rooms swiped his access card, James came falling down from the roof.
James; Right you, ya fudd don't take another step closer
Gendo; Who are you, how did you get in here, have you any idea on what you're intruding on?
James; Yes I do, now die
James ran up & kicked Gendo in the nuts, as he fell to the floor James looked about for something to hit him with, at this point Rei's arm fell off.
James; Uhhhh thanks
Rei; Just finish him off… ive had enough of him groping me
James proceeded to pummel Gendo to death with the bloody end of Rei's arm. After wards James put the arm down his trousers.
James; Hehehe you're giving me a hand job
Rei; You sir, are indeed a stupid twat
As Rei used her telekinetic powers to make her severed arm to grab James by the balls & lead him out the dogma central…
/Tokyo 3 – outside again/
Meanwhile back on the battle field, C.j was just finishing off the last White Eva by biting it's ripping it's core out & smashing it over the final sephirothic Eva, He heard a noise behind him & was about to go for the kill when he realised it was Unit 01.
Shinji; What the hell… Asuka did you do all this?
C.j; Firstly I aint Asuka & secondly you sure took you're sweet time
Shinji; Um… Sorry
C.j; Damn it there you go again, always apologizing…! Wait a minute that was a bit to Asuka like for me… i'm getting out this damn Eva now.
Asuka (somewhere in the lake); BASTARD… GIVE ME BACK MY EVA YOU ESEL HOHLE
C.j; I can speak German by the way you Dumm esel hundin
Asuka; WHAT DID YOU SAY?
As C.j & Asuka exchange "pleasantries" Chris appears from the portal & checks his list.
Chris; Ok… time to bring people back to life
& with a snap of the fingers all of the staff in NERV & the naked happy Rei's came back to life, Also in hospital, Touji's arm & leg re-appeared… Oh & if you don't count Kaji as NERV staff he came back to life as well. Unfortunately Yui came back to life by re-solidifying in the entry plug of Eva 01 naked… much to Shinji's disapproval.
Shinji; --' um mum… it's nice to see you & all but I really didn't need to see certain parts of you
Yui; ah-heh… as if one more traumatisation would kill you
Chris; Chris to James & C.j, Chris to James & C.j… I have resurrected the people over
James; Where the fuck did this headset come from?... Er… ok return back through the portal
C.j; Indeed… we need to let things sort itself out before we can continue with the plan
& with that they floated towards the portal & vanished, everyone blinked in confusion wondering who the fuck were they, never mind the fact that there all alive again.
/Greengo's hell hole/
They all re-appear from a portal generator made crudely from bits of mechano, Kinex & Lego that Greengo just happen to make, they all sit down before realising…
C.j; Where's Greengo?
James; Not in the pisser
Chris; Nor the Kitchen
C.j; You don't think he…
James; Knowing him… yes
C.j; Sigh Lets go back
Chris; Er… so who's typing?
C.j; You are… take a look
Chris then looks baffled as he finds himself typing on the computer, where he was certain he was in the kitchen a minute ago… he shrugs & opens the portal again, C.j & James dive back in.
/Tokyo 3 (again)/
They appear from the portal once more to only discover that there was a battle being fought with Eva unit 02 against the white Eva's
C.j; Ahhh shite, Chris brought us back to far again… wait a minute… Asuka doesn't fight like that… that looks like… My style?
As they observe it was indeed C.j piloting just as he fought the last Eva unit by biting it's throat off… they stand in confusion (Well float, there still in mid air) before James goes floating down towards NERV HQ
/NERV HQ – Central DOGMA/
Just as James (the past one I guess) was being dragged out of the place by a very 'pissed off minus one armed' Rei he stops as he hears a sound… familiar, guitar sound, they both look up to see James (Future to them but present to us… Shrugs) falling down with Aoba's guitar
Guitar; Du NU NU!
James1; Hello me, meet the real me
Guitar; DU NU NU
James2; laughs In my misfits way of life
Guitar; DU NU NU
James1; Dark black past is my…
Guitar; DU NU NU
James2; Most valued possession
Guitar; DU NU NU
James1; Hind sight is always 20/20
Guitar; DU NU NU
James2; But looking back, it's still a bit fuzzy
Guitar; DU NU NU
James1; seeing me can usually Assure destruction
Guitar; DU NU NU
James2; Nice story ... Tell it to Reader's Digest !
Rei;
Feeling paranoid
True
enemy or false friend?
Anxiety's attacking me, and
My air is
getting thin
I'm in trouble for the things
I haven't got to
yet
I'm chomping at the bit and my
Palms are getting wet
… SWEATING BULLETSSSSSSSSSS!
Present & Past James just stare at Rei, who merely shrugs before replying
Rei; I always sing that every time I meet my clone sisters… is a hell of a lot better than that Weird al song
James 1 I suppose
James2; Wait didn't Chris resurrect the clones?
James1; He's about to… why?
Chris; Chris to James & C.j, Chris to James & C.j… I have resurrected the people over
James2; Because we lost our Greengo & I think I have an idea now of where he is, you better signal in & get back to you're reality
James1; ok
James1 signals in & floats back outside whilst our James runs towards the clone tanks, Rei meanwhile, just stands there, naked, & ponders for a minute before humming the rest of the Megadeth song.
/Central DOGMA – Clone tank area-type-place :S /
James's suspicions were correct as we see Greengo sitting on the top of the tank of the happy naked Rei's
Greengo; Im a going to do some diving… MU TWA TWA … SLEAZE ((!
James; GREENGO YA PERV, DON'T GO IN THERE… Dang to late
Unfortunately as Greengo jumps in & rather than doing a type of diving that all fellow sleazy men will know… he curls up into a ball for a mini version of instrumentality was happening to him, minus the liquidation.
WHO ARE YOU?
Im Greengo
WHY ARE YOU HERE?
Im changing the events of Neon genesis Evangelion so my fan fiction can go through
NO, WHY ARE YOU IN THIS TANK YOU DIRTY ECCHI PERVERT BAKA
…Diving!
GET OUT!
Cant I just…
NO, OUT!
Dang
Greengo climbs out & looks at the naked happy Rei's who are flipping him off & mooning him. He dries himself off & gets changed back to his normal cloths before following a laughing James out of the complex… shortly after they leave the Rei's engage in there normal daily session of mad rampant lesbian sex… Maya quickly runs undressing & dives in the tank
Maya; Hey don't start without me!