Disclaimer: No, I don't own the Matrix. I'm just obsessed with it. There's a difference!

Matrix Addicts Anonymous

Do you think you might be addicted? Take this questionaire to determine whether or not you may suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Matrix Disorder.

Do you or have you....?

Read 'Simulacra and Simulation' after watching 'The Matrix'?

Watched 'The Matrix' 50+ times?

Watched 'Bound' and, if available, 'Assassins'?

Now own two trenchcoats resembling those of either Neo's, Trinity's, or Morpheus'?

Gone out and rented every movie available starring either Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Ann Moss, Laurence Fishbourne, and Hugo Weaving?

Bought a black Lincoln Continental despite the fact that it put you ten years into debt and sucked 90% of the money you had been saving to get you through college?

Painted the walls of your room a very light shade of green, and piled electronics everywhere to simulate that of Neo's apartment building?

At 9:18 and 1:01 hold a moment of silence to honor your beloved 'Matrix'?

Rented a hotel room and insisted that it be either room 101 or 303?

Now dress in black and sunglasses while carrying around a duffel bag that contains a loud ticking alarm clock?

Reply to your friend when they ask you what do you need, "Guns, lots of guns"?

Shot your computer monitor so that it resembles that of the Nebuchadnezzar?

Now actually know how to say and spell 'Nebuchadnezzar'?

Bought a full length mirror and written the phrase 'Temet Nosce' above it?

Given your friends the Mouse monologue when they ask what it is you have served them?

Gotten an all black pet cat and named it 'Deja Vu'?

Bought three sets of outfits: One for the Matrix, one for the Construct, and one for the Real World?

Seriously believe that the world around you is just a computer program, and are now just waiting for the crew to come and pull you out?

Deliver the pill speech to your friends every time you eat red and blue jelly beans?

Get especially happy at Easter because of all the white rabbits?

Drop whatever your doing whenever you hear the word 'Matrix'?

Stood in a phone booth, picked up the receiver, and delivered the ending speech to the Operator?

Manage to fit at least ten lines from the movie into your every day speech?

Begin to drool at the very mention of 'Keanu Reeves'? *starts doing that right now*

Started dreaming in bullettime? (or is that just me?)

Made the Matrix code your screen saver as well as your desktop wallpaper?

All of your bookmarked sites have the word 'Matrix' in there somewhere?

Stopped using 'Matrix' brand hair products because you think that somehow the shampoo/hairspray/etc will seep into your brain and make you part of an evil computer program?

Refuse to use any other haircare product but 'Matrix' brand because somehow you think it'll make you 'Know Kung-Fu'?

Ever gone to the dentist and as their asking about your day, you say just like Neo, "I know Kung-Fu"?

Bought a dentist chair, ruffed it up, and then situated in the basement of your house while putting your computer console around it, calling your basement 'The Core'?

Every time the phone rings, you give it a wary look before picking it up and saying, almost reluctantly, "Hello?"

Anonymously called someone and told them that they are 'The One'?

Gone into a chatroom and typed the cryptic computer passages from the opening scene?

Ever chanted 'There is no spoon' every time you are faced with a difficult obstacle?

If so, WELCOME TO THE CLUB! We are the few, the proud, the obsessed. Wear your Matrix obsession proudly, and try to convert as many people to the Cause as you can so that you don't seem so crazy (even if you are). Remember everyone: There is no spoon.