Author's Note: Oh dear god, what have I DONE? XD Yes, it's true, I have just combined a cheery Spongebob Squarepants episode (Idiot Box) with the very serious anime/manga series Death Note! I KNOW this seems utterly strange and insane beyond imagination, but the idea would not leave my head! I tried to get rid of the idea completely several times by not thinking about it. Believe it or not, I got the idea after watching the last few minutes of a Family Guy episode. ^^; I really have no idea how this fic was spawned from that...it's weird...
It was very tempting to post this. Since I have written several other Naruto/Spongebob parodies, I thought it would be very interesting to make a parody with a different anime. I considered using Fruits Basket, Hetalia Axis Powers, and even Bleach. But for some bizarre reason that I will never understand, I chose Death Note in the end. Maybe it's because I'm re-getting into it again? Or was it because I watched that DeathSponge NotePants-thing on Youtube (If you like Spongebob or Death Note, I would recommend watching that. XD )? Either way, we have this fic.
Due to this being a PARODY, everyone is probably way OOC. No need to complain about that little fact because it was purely intentional for them to not be in character so they would fit their respected roles. Beware of the insanity in which takes place in this story, it will be odd. And I had to change up a little dialogue here and there, and tweak a few things like Near and Mello's ages. I tried to follow the storyline of the SB episode, some things were intentionally tweaked though. Incase you were wondering: Mello is fourteen, Near is eleven, Matt is thirteen. And they're all still at Wammy's! I. MAY. NOT. HAVE. GOTTEN. THE. AGES RIGHT. ._. Also: Mello=Squidward Tentacles, Near=Spongebob Squarepants (*Is LMAO at the thought*), and Matt=Patrick Star (...Don't ask...).
Well, enjoy "Idiot Box"! Read on to find out what happens when Near and Matt start spending time together in a box, using their imagination to create fun situations, and a skeptical/jealous Mello interferes ('cause he apparently has no imagination) and tries to investigate what is so fun about it.
Disclaimer: I never will own Death Note or Spongebob Squarepants. This is purely a fanfiction made for entertainment purposes only. I wouldn't be able to make a profit from my work if I even TRIED. *Sad face here*
[.]
-Idiot Box-
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.
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Everything started out to be a nice, ordinary day at the Wammy House, which was an orphanage for smart children, there wasn't really much going on.
Let's take a closer look into the scene...shall we? Looking through the building, several children are wandering around talking or hanging out with each other. It was a Saturday morning, so they didn't have any classes to get to. This meant that they all had the option to go outside into the yard and get some much-needed fresh air. When we look outside, we see your typical Spring setting. The grass was bright and green, the sun brightly beamed down and pretty much forced you to get under the shade, yeah it was all pretty normal.
In front of the large gates that surrounded the building, two young boys were there patiently waiting for something. One of the two boys was older, thirteen, and had red hair, green eyes underneath goggles, was holding a DS in his hands and playing while he waited for something. He wore a stripped shirt that really stood out, some jeans, and worn shoes. This boy did have a name...but he will be referred to from now on only as Matt.
The other boy was sitting on the ground and playing with some random toys while glancing up at the scenery in front of him every 10 – 13 minutes or so. He was eleven. He had curly white hair, dark ringed eyes, pale-ish skin, and he wore a long-sleeved white shirt, baggy white pants, and white shoes. This boy also has a name...but let us just refer to him as Near.
The both of these boys were the top kids at the place that would maybe someday succeed L, the World's Greatest Detective, and all. But Near was the first, while Matt was the third. The both of them were actually intelligent in their own ways, although you wouldn't think that when you take the fact that they are in their own little worlds and staring at a large gate into consideration. Now, for the record, these two didn't normally hang out together much. But they were cool with each other anyway. They didn't really have any problems with each other.
Matt usually was always with his best friend...who does have a name, but let's just call him Mello. Mello was actually second in line. He greatly disliked-wait, that would be an understatement, Mello despised Near a lot. Anyway, they were always around each other. But he had found Near that morning and decided to change things up and hang out with him since Mello stated the night before that he was tired as hell from all the schoolwork over the week and wanted to catch up on sleep the next morning.
Now, enough of the explanation, Near glanced up briefly at the streets outside the yard and spoke up, "Do you see anything yet, Matt?"
Matt, who had once again gotten distracted by the game, muttered something really important and then glanced ahead at the scenery, having to squint a little as the sun hit his eyes. "...I'll need my goggles for this."
Matt slipped the DS away and then reached up for the goggles around his forehead. He pulled them down over his eyes and was now looking through them, seeing almost everything in an orange tint. "Hmmmmm..." Suddenly, he perked up when he saw a mail truck driving up the side of street. He smiled like a young child at Christmas and clasped his hands together. "It's the mail truck!"
Near was so surprised that the mail truck was finally coming, he actually sprung up to his feet and gasped lowly.
"It's our package!"
And, randomly, the two started hopping around like two complete idiots. Other kids who had previously been talking, couldn't help but stare at the two with bewildered expressions. But, Matt and Near really didn't care about this; they just continued to unknowingly embarrass themselves greatly by pretty much acting completely OOC!
Meanwhile, a young fourteen year old boy stepped out of the building with a wrapped chocolate bar in his hand. He had short blonde hair, blue eyes, and wore an unreadable look. He was dressed in a long sleeved black shirt and some black pants. This boy was Mello. He had just woken up previously and was curious to see where Matt went off to.
Then he caught sight of Near and Matt's...hopping. Mello's expression turned into a bewildered one, and then a blank one as he sighed.
"I should REALLY stop them..." Mello commented to himself, unwrapping the chocolate. "But, this is the most movement I'll ever see that couch potato and sheep make."
And so, Mello just leaned against the wall and took a bite into the chocolate while watching his friend and enemy's retarded performance.
The mail truck, between all of this, drove from around the corner and parked outside by the side of the street. The truck itself was your typical vehicle and had a picture of a dark brown-colored package on the side of it. Once parked, the driver pressed a button and opened the back part of the truck, and some random delivery man wearing a blue outfit jumped out and walked through the gate over to the still-hopping kids.
Near and Matt, of course, were aware that they were still hopping. And they were also aware that the delivery man was staring at them like he had the impression they belonged tied up in a straightjacket and shipped off by some really nice men to a padded room. But they were just oh so thrilled about the delivery that they could not contain their happiness. And we should mention that it was freaking WEIRD that Near was letting his happiness out for this one time!
The delivery man cleared his throat and then pulled out a clip board, scanned it over, and pointed curiously at Near. "Are you...Nat Smith?"
Near, still hopping with his poker face still clearly plastered on, recognized the fake name he had used for ordering and nodded.
"Yes, that's me." Near dully replied in that feminine monotone.
The delivery man on the other hand, was shocked that a male kid had made an order. When he had been contacted, he assumed that he was talking to a mature woman when he clearly listened to the voice! Not to mention that Near had used the name 'Nat Smith' for a brief alias and that could have easily stood for a name like 'Natalie'. Anyway, although skeptical, the unknown delivery man shrugged his shoulders and went back to the truck to get the package for him.
Mello, still watching the scene from afar, was not really interested by what was going on. Although, he was surprised when he saw the delivery man push a huge box over towards the two boys and flee back to the truck and drive off. He couldn't even stop himself from commenting a thought: "That's a big box..."
"Hey Near," Matt spoke up, still hopping around like an idiot. He was getting somewhat tired by all of this, but he couldn't decide if he should stop yet. Seeing that, he was so thrilled to get their delivery after waiting for two weeks. "When can we stop hopping...?"
"Thirty more seconds, Matt." Near replied quietly, his hopping now becoming less and less athletic and more lazy. He was BARELY even going three inches off the ground after each hop!
Mello was almost finished with the chocolate he was eating and threw the wrapper into the nearby trashcan beside him. He was a little curious about what Near and Matt had ordered, and also curious about why they were hanging out together all of a sudden...
And no, he was not jealous or anything!
"Near probably ordered a lifetime supply of dice." Mello commented to himself blandly. He then couldn't help but snicker a little as he realized how stupid that was, when he was smart enough to be able to realize he could order something very important. "Haha...dice...that's so lame-"
Mello never did get to finish that sentence. Because Near and Matt had already ended their hopping and stood up in the open box, both holding a...big-screen television? Mello's eyes widened when he saw that and the chocolate still in his mouth fell out and to the ground.
"A BRAND NEW TELEVISION?" Mello gasped in disbelief. "Where the hell did they get the money to buy that? And since WHEN does Near ever watch TV?"
The television was very heavy. It was also huge and had a big square-shaped screen. The random children in the background couldn't help but mimic Mello's reaction, they all stared in bewilderment as well. For one thing; it wasn't logical how Matt and Near got the money for it, or why they even bought it. But the two just stepped out of the box and balancing the TV with equal weight.
"Easy...easy...okay, now..." Near and Matt promptly took the TV and...tossed it away?
The TV flew onto a random trashcan and balanced on it. Near and Matt stared blankly at the results of their work for a few awkward seconds, and they both smiled and went over to the box and leaped in, closing the box afterward. You could hear their carefree chuckles and giggling from outside.
Mello was not amused by this.
"...Just when I thought they couldn't get any weirder." Mello muttered to himself before walking over to the box in annoyance of their actions.
The chuckles and giggling ceased once Mello arrived at the box. He folded his arms over his chest and sighed deeply, registering all that he had witnessed over these past several strange minutes.
"Okay so let me recap here," Mello gave a quick glance at the beautiful TV and then glared at the big, light brown box on the ground. "You two are suddenly spending time together...and you ordered a cool television set, just so you could play in the fucking BOX?"
The flaps on the box opened and Near popped out with a dull expression, but an amused look briefly in his eyes. "Yes. Pretty smart, isn't it?"
Then Matt popped out of the box and grinned. "I didn't think it would even work!"
Mello rolled his eyes. No matter how hard he tried, one thing was certain, he would never be able to understand how 'smart' this was! But he wouldn't dare admit that he couldn't figure it out. He'd never to Near. Maybe Matt though, but not at the moment because he was getting irritated at the gamer for socializing with his rival.
"Oh yeah, that's such a genius plan you came up with." Mello commented, each word from the sentence just dripped with obvious sarcasm. Neither of the two other boys seemed to care though, they just glanced at each other before looking back at the chocoholic. "Which, ah, reminds me. There's two things I want to ask you. Now what was it? Hmm...oh! Now I remember."
Silence kind of overcame them, Mello removed his hand from the back of his neck and almost smirked at the two. But then, his expression completely turned into a pissed one and you could just feel the spontaneous anger radiating off him.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? AND WHY ARE YOU PALS ALL OF A SUDDEN?" The yelling caused Near to fall backwards into the box, and Matt just clasped his hands over his ears and tried to not get blown away or something.
"Mello..." Near composed himself up and wiped the dust off his shirt. "Is it it wrong for us to spend time together? You don't have to be jealous. To answer your first question: we do not really need television. Not as long as we have," Near took his hands and raised them over his head, slowly curving them to the sides and making an imaginary rainbow. "Our imagination..."
Mello didn't get that logic at all. It made no SENSE. Why would two kids rather use their "imagination" and play in a box, when they could watch some TV and escape the stressful hell we call reality? But, he wouldn't admit this. Near and Matt...they seemed to be completely serious and actually believed it to be true. If Mello were to argue their twisted logic, it would cause him to be once again beaten by that damn little sheep.
It was two against one after all. Not the best odds; considering that one of the two was the one's best friend. If Mello were to get what he wanted, the cool television and a moment of triumph, he would need to act. So, he put on a fake smile at them.
"Wow. I never thought about it that way!" Near and Matt exchanged content looks as Mello's tone dramatically got more serious. "Now, seriously Matt, WHY are you even in his presence-"
"With imagination," Near interrupted all of a sudden, climbing up on the box and balancing atop it. "I can be anything I want, Mello. For example: a famous detective." For emphasis and an example, Near suddenly whipped out some random documents and intensely started going through them and mumbling stuff about 'psychotic murders'. "Or, a football player." Near now had whipped out a football from god-knows-where and threw it quite a distance away; distracting Mello.
Matt had been listening to all of this and smiled as he popped up from the box. "A gamer!"
Near and Mello looked back at him blankly.
"Matt, you're ALREADY a gamer." Mello explained in a slightly disturbed manner.
"See Mello? It actually does work. Why don't you try to use your imagination?"
Well, it was very hard to try and concentrate on using his "imagination" when there just happened to be a very beautiful television set nearby, tossed carelessly in a trashcan. And the fact that Mello's best friend was kind of betraying him by spending time in the presence of Near. But let us not dwell on that last one, because the young blonde is NOT jealous!
On another random note, he really wanted that TV. He didn't really get to watch television much after all, there was only one set in the entire building. And where did it stay? It was in the entertainment room, and that room could only be accessed on Fridays. Mello could even remember all the failed attempts he and Matt had gone through to get in there. But this didn't matter at the moment; that was another tale for some other time! Mello just knew that he wanted that television badly. But he had no imagination whatsoever. It has been years since he last used his imagination. The last time he had played by using his imagination was when he was seven years old at least.
"Alright then, I'm imagining myself watching TV..." Mello gasped and pointed at the TV, Near and Matt mimicked this and looked over at the set as well. "And there it is!" Mello's eye twitched like he was crazy or something and he grabbed Near's shoulder. "Near, I'm taking your TV and there's nothing you can do about it. Is that okay with you?"
"Of course, Mello."
Mello couldn't believe that just worked. But hell, he didn't care at all! He was just so glad that he had gotten the television that he grinned and ran over to the set and begun pushing it to the building. He briefly did wonder...if anybody would notice him pushing a very large TV through a cramped building and give him any "WTF?" looks. But he didn't care about that either.
When Mello passed by Near and Matt's box, he barely even gave them a glance while the former mentioned that they would both be inside the box if he needed them. Although, he did still grit his teeth and claw into the TV a little when he kept repeating the fact that Matt was spending time with Near in a box in his head.
No, he wasn't jealous!
Mello was pretty much out of their sight, so Matt decided that it was about time they start doing something with the box. Even though he didn't mention it, he kind of doubted that Mello even had any imagination. He was always so determined to become number one and beat Near that he barely ever looked reality and noticed he was still young. Maybe he didn't really say this to anyone else either, but Matt thought that it was good to let yourself go sometimes and just have fun. Mello was fourteen, but he was almost like an adult. Not mentally of course. But still.
"Hey, let's play 'Moutain-Climbing Adventure'!" Matt suddenly suggested. Hey, he needed something to do. And he had previously dropped his game into a bunch of weeds when he was trying to help Near throw out the television.
Near blinked. And then realization struck him. "That sounds...good. Let's do it."
Matt and Near grabbed the flaps on the box and closed them, going back into the box. From the outside, you could hear these walking sound effects and their loud talking.
"Now then, let's check to make sure we have everything we need for the climb. Gloves?"
"Check, Near!"
"Hats?"
"Check!"
"...Underwear?"
"Uh...wait..." Insert zipping sound effect. "...Check!"
Mello had walked back out the building to get the television remote control. He walked over to the box and picked it up, then looked at the box with a blank look; listening to what was going on inside.
"Alright, Matt, climb up there and secure this rope."
"You got it!"
From the outside of the box, you could hear Matt 'walking' and grunting while apparently climbing a mountain. Finally, after a few more seconds of this, Near briefly made a low sound of shock.
"Matt...Matt! You're climbing too high!" Mello's widened a little, this being his first time ever hearing Near raise his voice a little. And the little brat actually sounded genuinely panicked!
"I hope they put air holes in that damn box." Mello muttered to himself before proceeding to walk away. But he immediately stopped walking and turned to stare at the box when he heard more of their nonsense.
"Take it easy, Matt! You have to acclimate!"
"I'll be EASY when I'm DEAD, Near! I'M SHAKING HANDS WITH JESUS! WOO! EXCELSIOR!"
A "WTF?" kind of expression flashed over Mello's face, and several other children had also crept a little closer with confused looks to see what was going on. Never had Matt sounded so...thrilled. He usually was only like that after he won a game or got to another level of it.
"I AM MATT THE LIZARD KING! WOO!"
"Matt...Matt! Judging by the extreme height on the mountain, I think we should keep our voices down so we don't cause an avalanche."
"WHAT, NEAR? I'M BUSY PWNING SATAN IN GUITAR HERO AND HAVING A SNOWBALL FIGHT WITH A PRINCESS...OH CRAP, SHE JUST PULLED OUT A GUN!"
"I said: I think we should keep our voices down! There is a very high chance that an avalanche will occur!"
"What should we keep down?"
Mello rolled his eyes while he gestured for the other children to leave and return to what they were previously doing. When doing this, the only thing he was thinking about was saving Matt from a little embarrassment. Because, when put bluntly, he was starting to sound like someone really high! (Pun intended!)
"Our VOICES!" Near practically cried hysterically. Mello literally did jump a little after hearing this. He stared in shock, and then scowled once again.
"Oh, will you two just SHUT UP?" Mello kicked the box roughly and then started walking away in annoyance. But he didn't get too far. He heard a sound effect coming from the box: it sounded like a mountain crumbling and falling apart or something! He turned around and did a double-take at the box as Near and Matt's cries of shock could he heard.
"AAAAAAAHHHHH!"
"AAAAAAUGH! WHHHHHHY?"
Mello broke out into a nervous sweat and clasped his hands together, frantically rubbing them. It wasn't that he was worried or anything, but it truly sounded like the two were in real danger! But...but that had to be impossible! Right?
"N-Near? Matt...?" Mello choked out, swallowing and touching the box lightly with his fingertip. This action caused ANOTHER more terrible avalanche than the first! It was much louder and Mello roughly grabbed his hair and clawed into it.
Finally, after a few VERY agonizing seconds, the 'avalanche' seemed to have settled down. Listening closely, Mello could make out weak groans and cries of genuine pain coming from Near and Matt. They both sounded so pathetic, so broken, so damn helpless!
"Ohhhh...oh my god...s-someone...the pain...h-hold me..." A part of Mello died inside when he heard those words coming from his best friend. Matt sounded as if he was truly in agony! What the fuck was going on in that box?
"Augh...Ah...ha-hang in there, Matt. The...chopper is on the way..."
"Near, my legs are frozen solid. Y-you'll have to cut them off with a saw..."
"No Matt, I cannot do that."
"W-why?"
"Because I already cut off my own arms. I am nothing more than a mere bloody torso. If you...survive and don't get sent to the afterlife...p-please tell Mello that he will have to be one to succeed L. I give him my deepest, true support..."
"NOOOOOO! DON'T LEAVE ME TO DIE ALONE!"
That...that was it. Mello was just a mess now as he listened to that heart-breaking exchange between his best friend and rival. At the moment, he was on his knees, sweating and clawing his hair while staring at that box with a totally sympathetic look in his eyes. In fact, as he heard more of Matt's tragic cries and please for life, Mello actually looked as if we were about to burst out into tears!
"NEEEEEAR! NO! WHY AM I ALWAYS HAVING TO END UP ALONE? I WANTED TO DIE, IF I HAD TOO, WITH SOMEONE REALLY CLOSE TO ME! I FEEL LIKE I'VE JUST BEEN SHOT BY CRUEL MENACES THIRTY-SOMETHING TIMES! MELLO! WHY COULDN'T HE BE HERE IN MY FINAL HOURS?"
Mello just gaped at the box, too stunned to be able to do anything. As the seconds ticked by, a single tear that he had been stubbornly trying to blink away finally rolled down his eye. Quickly, too upset to be thinking of recovering his lost dignity, Mello scrambled up to his feet and pulled the box flaps open.
Inside the box, was...Near and Matt perfectly normal and sitting comfortably. They both looked up at a very stunned Mello when they realized what he did.
"WHAT?" Mello scowled at them. "HOW THE HELL WHERE YOU TWO MAKING THAT NOISE?"
"...Are you crying, Mello?"
"NO!"
Mello took the back of his hand and self-consciously rubbed it across his eyes as Near and Matt popped up out of the box and stood there.
"What noise are you talking about?" Matt dumbly asked while tilting his head to the side. We could only here the sounds of our laughter!"
"Yes...but those sound effects..." Mello rambled fast, barely even being able to register in his mind all that was going on. He just knew that Near and Matt had apparently been mountain-climbing, got severely injured by two avalanches, and said some tragic words before losing their lives! And that he had foolishly gotten worried about them; going as far as to shed a tear! "The...avalanche...the-"
"Don't forget the SECOND avalanche." Near chimed in. "That one was the worst."
Bleh...they weren't even listening. They acted as if they didn't even know what he was talking about. But still, Mello was sure that he heard all that right. There was no mistake! Well, if they weren't going to listen, Mello just gave up and started walking away without another word.
Mello wasn't about to continue listening to those two go back into the box and make more tragic sound effects, reducing him to a crying mess on the ground. ...Especially not out in public; which every kid probably witnessed. He knew what he was going to do: go back and watch his brand new television!
But, the blonde chocoholic barely even made it a little distance away. Right when Matt and Near went back in the box, a really loud helicopter sound effect started up; and it sounded utterly realistic! Mello was caught off guard, mistaking it for the real thing, and immediately ducked and fell to the ground.
"ATTENTION CLIMBERS! PLEASE HOLD ON; THE SAWS ARE ON THE WAY!" A man's voice shouted through what might have been a megaphone. But, Mello looked around to see that there was nothing there!
This was Mello's chance to catch them in the act! He got up to his feet while the distinct sounds of cheering came from the box and pulled open the flaps.
"AHA!" Seeing that the box was open and Mello was peeking in, Near and Matt frowned and looked up at him while sitting there. "Wha...how...how are you two doing that?"
Near thought for a minute, mentally naming off the things that were needed to achieve in order to be able to climb a mountain and survive two brutal avalanches. "Well, first we must establish a base campat sixteen-thousand feet-"
"I'm talking about the NOISES, Near! How are you two making those noises?"
Mello didn't understand this. Just like Matt had figured, he didn't understand how they were having so much fun inside the box. In reality; it was because they were using their imagination. It could make anything happen. Since he didn't possess it, he couldn't grasp this concept. And he knew that he was very pissed about how confusing it was. To make things easier, Matt just mentioned that he would need a box and imagination.
And then promptly grabbed the cardboard flaps and closed them. Leaving Mello to himself once again. The latter clenched his hands tightly into fists and stomped back to the house, ready to show them both.
"I'll show them who's got IMAGINATION. I've got more than they do in one hand than they have in their whole bodies..."
[.]
Inside Mello and Matt's shared room, the former was intensely going through the closet and pretty much turning everything upside down to find a good box. He wanted, wait—scratch that! Mello was DEAD SET on finding a box in order to prove to Near (and maybe Matt) that he could escape the harsh world of reality and use his imagination!
"Where's a box? There's got to be one in this freaking closet! I won't rest until there is one!"
During Mello's search, he got down to the floor and threw back a big pile of clothes. Briefly, his eyes caught sight of a flash of green and red. Curious, he pulled this object out from the corner it was in. A closer inspection revealed that it was indeed a box.
Jackpot!
"This old hat box should work!" Mello held back an evil cackle and eagerly took the box with him and sat it in the middle of the room on the floor. The box itself was green and had red stripes. It was an old hat box, very small, but it might work.
He put his hands on the lid to open the box. When he removed the lid and reached in, his smirk was rapidly replaced with a puzzled frown as he slowly pulled out several Hershey's chocolate bars. Mello tilted his head. "Why haven't I eaten this yet...?"
Shrugging his shoulders, Mello just set the chocolate to the side but still kept one and pocketed it. Now that it was empty, he crawled into the box and sat inside kind of crouched with his arms wrapped around his legs and sat the lid on his head. Surprisingly, his frame was so small that he fit in nicely. Now all that was left to do was wait.
So Mello waited. One second passed...two seconds passed...three seconds...four-
"My god! How long is this going to TAKE?"
Sometimes...Mello wasn't really patient. And this moment was exactly one of those times. Fed up with all the "time it was taking", Mello jumped up out of the box and made a disgusted sound before kicking it.
Immediately, he heard a really loud police siren. Totally realistic sounds of more police sirens and vehicles driving up and parking hit his ears. Door slams followed, and it all sounded like it was happening right outside the room's window!
"ATTENTION: WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED! COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP! DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT RUNNING!" A gruff man's voice shouted through what could have been a megaphone. Mello's eyes widened in total shock when he heard this.
This predicament was very sudden and shocking. It was really getting to Mello, he clasped his hands together and started pacing.
"What do they want with ME? What did I do? I haven't done anything criminal in all my life! Oh my god, did Roger contact the authorities on me because he found about how Near was posing as an adult and buying televisions and whatever-the-hell-else without authorized permission? And is Near framing ME for all of this? That's it! He must be setting me up by gradually 'revealing' to Roger that I'm doing all this! Or...is Roger just contacting the police because he simply hates me for always being a pain in the ass?"
As things stood at the moment, Mello was close to having a breakdown. Normally, he wouldn't be fazed by the authorities randomly appearing and declaring that he will be arrested. But now it affected him because he was only fourteen; he wouldn't survive in jail! And this was starting to make sense with Near, and the box! Near was really against him after all: trying to illegally by a television and pose as some older guy that had permission to do it, and then use the box to HIDE in while he gradually used someone to drop hints to Roger that Mello was really doing this! Thus, him being framed and being sent to prison for no good reason! And Matt...oh god! Matt was HIDING with Near inside the box! Matt was...in cahoots with him! How dare he do that! Mello hadn't ever really done anything criminal...but he did once steal a whole lot of chocolate from a factory visit one time. But...that was seven years ago.
Why were the cops after him? Was his previous suspicion involving Near and Matt real? Or was it because of something else like...kicking that useless box! Wait, Mello snapped a finger in realization, it was because of the damn box! They didn't randomly pop up until he kicked the thing in his spontaneous tantrum fit
[.]
Although still shaken by the sudden appearance by the random authorities, and the paranoid conclusions he mentally named off whilst pacing and nearly biting off all his fingernails in panic, Mello decided that it was time to get his act together. He wouldn't allow himself to be taken away by some overly-strong men in uniforms and dropped off in a tiny cell. He wouldn't no matter what! And besides, this whole box kicking law that must have been established magically overnight must be straitened out! Mello took a deep breath and stepped outside the building with both hands holding the hat box that still smelled of chocolate.
"Okay officers, it was only a damn box! Laws must be bent sometimes in order to achieve your goals and I won't allow myself to taken away without a fi..." Mello trailed off in surprise as he looked around outside. There was...no cops out there in the yard! Nothing! It was only a few random children walking around and socializing, and Near and Matt's idiot box that the sound effects were coming from.
Now Mello understood what was going on. All the noise and 'police' that he thought was after him was really all coming from the box. To be honest; he got panicked and overly-paranoid over nothing.
"You'll never take me alive, coppers!"
"No Johnny, don't do it!"
"PULL THE VEHICLE OVER IMMEDIATELY! PULL IT OVER OR WE WILL RESORT TO DRASTIC MEASURES!"
"NEVAH! YOU KNOW WHAT I SAY TO THE LAW? FUCK YOU!"
"Johnny, you're breaking my heart~! Don't speed up! TAKE ME WITH YOU!"
"DO NOT TALK TO THE CRIMINAL, MISSY!"
Mello's eye twitched repeatedly as he stared at the box and listened to all that nonsense and sound effects of 'Johnny' having a car chase with the police and some random woman who apparently sounds like his girlfriend or something. He was so annoyed and angry right now. He took the hat box, threw it in the air, and kicked it quite a distance away; all the way over to Near and Matt's box.
Near and Matt opened the box, putting all the sound effects to a very sudden pause, and glanced at the little abused hat box.
Matt gasped in excitement. "Oh my god! It's another box!"
Greedily, the red-haired boy leaned over and grabbed the box. In the blink of an eye, he went back inside the big box with the little one. And this just irritated Mello and he just gave up and stomped back inside the building. The distant gunfire and racing cars sound effect from the box growing more quieter.
[.]
"I'm going crazy...I need to just relax..." Mello said to himself as he stumbled into him and Matt's room and slammed the door. He crashed up to it and stood there flat against the door. His heart thumping rapidly and his eyes growing wider. Out of habit, he snatched the chocolate bar he previously pocketed and took a nice long bite of it. "Maybe I can drown out their childish games with a little TV. Yes...that could work!"
Mello had placed the television in the corner of the room beside the closet. Although it wasn't a spacious room, it fit well in it's place. There was also a lawn chair set up in front of it. But this was temporary until he could scrounge up enough cash to go off the Wammy House grounds and go by a comfortable leather recliner from the furniture store. He walked over to the chair and plopped down in it, he took the remote control and pressed a button to turn it on.
The first thing that came on the TV was some show involving a factory...with many boxes on a conveyor belt. The male announcer promptly spoke this, "It is here that the boxes reach their final stage of super-awesome development..."
Mello changed the channel at once. Why? Because it looked so retarded to have a show all about how cardboard boxes were assembled. Anyone would be able to figure that out. As the next show came on about some old buy gesturing to a chalkboard with a stick, Mello once again started eating the chocolate bar.
"The equation is illustrated here by this box." That one sentence alone was all Mello needed to hear. He changed the channel in disgust right away.
On the next channel, there was a couple standing by a light blue-colored wall. This might have been a soap opera, because cheesy romantic music played in the background while a stupid looking man and woman gazed at each other. The man had dark hair, brown eyes, fair skin, and he wore an ugly yellow t-shirt. The woman was chubby-ish and had very light blond hair, hazel eyes, tanned skin, and wore a turquoise dress.
"I couldn't afford a present this year," The man on the soap opera began, smiling and holding up a box. "So I got you this small cardboard box. When you look at it, please reminisce on the beautiful times we've had together, and the long passionate nights."
The woman smiled so very exaggeratedly that Mello couldn't help but snort at. Why were these soap operas so lame? They were written terribly, overly-dramatic, and still managed to bring in thousands of female viewers.
"Ohhhh...that's what I got you in return~!" The woman on the television cooed as she held up a box that looked exactly the same as her boyfriend's. And the man chuckled.
"ISN'T THERE ANYTHING ON THAT ISN'T ABOUT FREAKIN' BOXES?" Mello practically spat loudly while sitting up and quickly changing the damn channel several times over. He finally stopped and raised a brow as it settled on one channel, remote control and chocolate bar aimed expertly in his hands to be thrown in rage.
"-And now back to Championship Boxing!" A thrilled crowd whooped and started clapping like maniacs on the TV. Mello was relieved to not see anymore boxes that reminded him of Near being better than him in the art of using his imagination, and stealing his best friend.
Mello watched as the camera's panned to all the pumped up people surrounding the boxing ring and smiled with relief. Leaning back comfortably in the lawn chair he had stolen from Roger when he wasn't looking.
"Ha...I guess this is okay. I mean, it isn't really about BOXES." Mello's expression turned sour as the camera panned back to the ring to reveal two cardboard boxes hitting and crashing into each other continuously. "...Fuck you, television."
Mello just sighed in defeat. He seriously hoped that the television would burn in Hell, and maybe with Near by it's side. He tiredly rubbed his eyes and then gasped and brought his legs close to his body when he heard a totally realistic space launch coming from outside. You could practically smell the exhaust from the ship. You could pretty much see it all happening right before your eyes! But he was sure it was just Near and Matt with their stupid box...
"Three, two, one, BLAST OFF!"
Supposedly, the space ship had taken off into space. Mello just slammed his hands down on the arms of the lawn chair and cursed.
"How are they doing that? That was the most realistic space launch I've ever heard in my life! Ugh...there HAS to some kind of deep and intelligent theme in this predicament that I'm not noticing...I just have to think, to try and come up with something..."
[.]
Inside Mello's fantasy, Near and Matt both sat inside their box. The former was still looking as emotionless as ever, and trying to not burst out into laughter. He just finally settled for clasping both hands over his mouth and laughing silently. And meanwhile, Matt was freely laughing and holding his sides while falling down back against the North wall of the box.
Between them, was a tape recorder that was the 'source' of all the sound effects. And when his silent laughter subsided, Near pulled Matt back up and then pressed a button on the machine; causing a loud rocket launch to be heard. Matt removed his goggles and wiped tears of laughter from his eyes.
"Mello is such a jerk..." Near stated blandly, going into another silent laughing fit.
Matt followed suit, not even caring that he was just mocking Mello.
[.]
When Mello's fantasy ended, his eyes widened and he got up out of the chair wordlessly. He stomped out of the room to go and talk to two certain people.
[.]
"Alright, where is IT?" Mello demanded, pulling back the box flaps and once again peeking in.
Looking inside the box, Mello could see both Near and the hat box he had previously beaten the hell out of. But Matt wasn't anywhere in sight. At first, Near kind of sat there frozen and staring up at Mello with his blank panda eyes. He was not moving, paused in his regular sitting position and holding his arms out like he was driving an invisible car.
To add to the awkwardness, the hat box lid was suddenly opened and Matt popped out of the box with a carefree smile on his face. "Here I am!"
"Where's what, Mello?" Near curiously asked, bringing one arm back to his side and the other to a white, curled lock of hair on his head.
"Oh, don't you play innocent! I can hear everything that you're doing!" Mello put his hands on his hips and sighed. "Now where is that tape recorder?"
"We don't have a tape recorder, Mello."
"Don't you 'we don't have a tape recorder, Mello' me!" Mello snapped at the white-haired child.
"But we don't." Near quietly stated, glancing away. "That would be useless and wouldn't advance the plot."
Matt randomly glanced back at Mello and Near. He took the hat box and threw it out on a random whim. He then slid over to that empty spot and pulled out a small tape box from his striped shirt; placing it in his best friend's hands. "But I have this tape box...does it count at all?"
It goes without saying, but Mello glared daggers at the tape box and threw it far away behind him into some random boy's head. He was so sick of this; he was getting nowhere. Alright, maybe he did not prove or have any evidence that the two were trying to annoy him by using a tape recorder. But that didn't mean that there wasn't some other theme hidden within the lines that he wasn't getting! Well, he thought with a sigh, maybe if he joined them with this activity with his own eyes, he could figure everything out and destroy Near's little mind game he was obviously trying to pull.
He wasn't about to lose the game, dammit!
"Make way you two, I'm coming in!" Mello leaned into the box, and eventually released his feet from the box edge. It happened so fast; he fell into the box on his face.
[.]
Surprisingly, the inside of the box was spacious. Matt sat on the left side, Mello had pushed himself up into a sitting position in the middle, and Near was sitting on the right. The...imaginative...boys looked at Mello with content looks. Like they wanted him to join them all along.
"Welcome aboard, Mello. You have just set foot on the S.S.," Near took his hands and formed a rainbow around his head, which disappeared exactly four seconds later. "Imagination. Where are only destination is unforgetable, fantastic adventure. What do you want to do first?"
Mello just shook his head and crossed his arms, waiting for whatever would happen so he could be the only witness. "Don't mind me, you two. I'm only here to observe EVERYTHING."
Near and Matt glanced at each other in a disappointed manner. But Mello didn't understand what he had said to confuse or disappoint them. After all, he would never do something childish and stupid like using his imagination. And, to be blunt about it, Mello wouldn't use his imagination to play a game even if he were payed/held hostage by someone/about to die/had no other option/or could use it as an advantage to beat Near at something.
Matt was not going to accept the subtle refusal. So he sighed and slipped a little closer to Mello. "Mello...don't you get it? Waiting and watching? That isn't what the box is about!" Mello's eye twitched uncontrollably as Matt took both hands and formed a random rainbow with it in the same style as Near did. What the hell was he doing? Spreading gay pride or something? Ugh, that was so creepy! "It's all about imagination! Everyone has it; and I personally escape into it when I'm taken away from my games when they have to be charged..."
Mello barely heard any of what Matt just said. He was too busy glaring at that damn rainbow. It was official: he was freakin' SICK of seeing them being formed at the most unnecessary times. And if he had to see another one any time in the near future, he would kill someone! Finally, as Matt was about to form another, Mello couldn't control himself any longer; took the rainbow and started twisting it all in crazy shapes angrily.
"ALL RIGHT! FINE! TAKE ME TO ROBOT PIRATE ISLAND!" Mello had destroyed the imaginary rainbow and fell forward onto his knees, clenching his fists and moving them back and forth; mimicking someone arm-wrestling. Matt and Near just stared during all of this like his outburst was a normal occurrence. "I WANT TO ARM WRESTLE WITH COWBOYS ON THE FREAKING MOON! Just do it so I can get back to my room and watch TV, and scarf down chocolate without paranoia tearing me apart!"
"That can be arranged Mello." Near commented, his monotone briefly sounding somewhat happier. He gave the paranoid boy a nod and then shot Matt a knowing look. "Robot Pirate Island it is then. Let's go..."
Well, at least they were getting somewhere. Mello hoped that joining them on this 'adventure' on 'Robot Pirate Island' would reveal how they have so much fun in the box. And maybe even show him how all the very convincing sound effects were made.
Unfortunately, nothing cool or revealing occurred.
Mello just stared at the two. They were just sitting there with their eyes closed, and no emotion was put into their act. It just seemed so...lame. Where was all the cool sound effects and the genuine emotion?
"Bee boo beep." Near muttered, doing a totally pathetic job at mimicking a robot.
"Arr." Matt's 'arr' didn't sound the least bit convincing to Mello.
What the hell was going on?
"Bee bee boo bop."
"Ahoy, matey."
"Bee boo beep bee."
"For that, you'll walk the plank!"
Apparently, Near and Matt were amused by their imitations of pirates and robots. Matt started snickering, and Near had another silent laughing fit.
Mello was not amused though. He couldn't believe what he had just witnessed. Their pathetic little act truly sucked! It was not at all like what he had heard earlier! And he couldn't help but be enraged over this fact. He finally couldn't bottle up his anger, he growled and raised his fists above his head.
"This sucks!" Mello randomly yelled. Near and Matt stared at him with widened eyes. "Why won't this thing TURN ON?"
To end his little tantrum with a bang, Mello roughly slammed both fists to the floor of the cardboard box and punching it shamelessly like it just did something utterly evil and unforgivable.
[.]
"Fine! If you two won't show me how you really do this, I don't care!" Mello jumped out of the box and dusted himself off. "I have BETTER things to do than pace the floor of my room, wondering how the hell you work this thing!"
Near and Matt sighed and watched Mello storm back into the building until he was completely out of their sight. Poor thing. He just didn't understand the real ways of the box.
[.]
A little bit later inside Mello and Matt's room, the former was pacing back and forth and making crazy gestures as he did so. Mello could just not believe what was going on. It was insane, illogical and logical at the same time, and very nerve-wracking to think of. No matter what, he just couldn't figure out how this was all even possible.
He would find out the cause of their fun and sound effects if it was the last thing he would do!
But how could he get to the bottom of this? Well, he would have to break it all down like this: Near and Matt keep claiming that it's because of their imagination. So, there was a high chance all of these sound effects and adventure were just dumb unrealistic games. But when you looked at it another way, it didn't seem completely that way.
There was also a chance that they were trying to get under Mello's skin and catch him off guard mentally. Perhaps...this wall one big psychological mind game. Yes...maybe that was it! Near and Matt really want to get rid of any competition that stands in there way, so they just wanted to use the whole 'box' and 'imagination' trick as a diversion. Their main goal would be to slowly mess with his head, and then bring him to the point of cracking. Thus, making them win the game. But ooooh no, Mello was not about to be beaten at The Game! If anyone should lose The Game, it should be that damn little albino!
Mello seriously did consider all of this. But the more he thought about it, the more ridiculous and overly-dramatic it felt. He walked over to the wall by the window and promptly hit his head against it.
"I'm getting too worked up...but there's a good reason to be! I mean, there's got to be some reason behind all of this that I'm not getting! Maybe they have a secret button or...or something..." He flickered open his eyes and rested his head against the wall, weakly glancing out the window.
From the window, you could hear beeping robots, gunfire, waves, and metal clashing against metal. And it all sounded very realistic. It sounded like...Robot Pirate Island.
"They went to that island without me." Mello murmured, scowling and leaning back up against the wall. "Ugh...I have to find out how Near and Matt are doing all of this. I'm not going to stand here and become overwhelmed with paranoia, thinking of crazy conclusions. No way, I'm going to discover their secret!"
It was time to discover the truth behind that box. It's been that way for a long time. Mello knew that he couldn't just run out there and check around the box for any hidden buttons just yet, though. There was a good time to do this: at night. At night, Near usually went to bed exactly at nine. While Matt would either go to bed at nine-fifty or eleven. There was a good window of time for Mello to sneak outside and get inside.
And he would wait all night until those two left the box! Now with a little determination, Mello declared out loud that he would wait all night until they left that box. He sat down on that lawnchair in front of the television and crossed his arms.
And thus, a very long timeskip ensued! What happened during this time wasn't exactly interesting in the slightest, so we will avoid talking about that. But it should be noted that Mello had sat in that lawnchair, glancing back at the window, for a total of five hours. That included two trips to the bathroom, going to eat dinner, having an argument with Roger after throwing his pasta at an unsuspecting and annoying Linda, and snooping through Near's room for no reason at all. Now then, let us skip ahead to eleven PM for what happened afterward.
Now that it was eleven at night, darkness fell over. Stars outside twinkled brightly, and the moon rose high, the moonlight streamed into Mello and Near's pitch black room and giving it an eerie and lonely feel. Mello still sat in his lawnchair, feeling empty and staring at the window. But he finally perked up when he heard all the sound effects of Robot Pirate Island end. Curiously, he got out of the chair and sneaked over to the window to glance out at the box.
From the high window, Mello could make out the box still sitting where it was left that morning. And Near and Matt opened up the box flaps and hopped out, stretching their limbs and yawning.
"Wow, I'm going to need some sleep to refuel my imagination tanks..." Matt commented, taking the box flaps and closing them back.
Near nodded in agreement, but then sighed a little, probably from exhaustion. "Yes. I still just can't believe that those pirates beat all those robots. That was an unlikely victory, but I guess it doesn't matter since one of the warrior cowboys that fought in the battle is going to become the new leader of the pirates. With him around, the robots will definitely return, hence the way he did cheat in the fight and use his cyborg half-brother."
"I know! There's going to be an epic return, I bet. We'll have to help train the newbie pirates on the team to fight so they can pwn all the robots! Well, see you in the morning, Near!"
"Good night, Matt."
Mello smirked evilly as he watched the two leave the box and retreat back to the building. This was his chance to sneak out there and get inside that damn box! Quickly, but also very stealthily as to not draw any attention, he sneaked out of the building and to outside.
[.]
After sneaking out carefully, Mello made his way over to the box and shifted his eyes back and forth to make sure he was not being watched. The only thing he could see was the dark sky, the building, and the various trees and plants in the yard. Excellent. He could privately inspect the cardboard box without any interrogations.
"Wait...Matt probably is in the bedroom right now," Mello muttered to himself, glancing up at the old window that was in his room. "His bed is close to the window, he might be able to see me out here. So...maybe I should move this thing away a little before I get spotted!"
Acting fast as to not get spotted, Mello grabbed the huge box and started pushing it over towards the gate in front of the Wammy House. It was quite a struggle, and he had to roughly press his body against it continuously for pressure, but it was finally moved over to the giant gate. Now finished, Mello wiped the sweat off his brow and opened the box. He climbed in and closed it back.
The inside of Near and Matt's box was spacious enough for him like before. But it was very dark inside, and Mello was right earlier; the box did need air holes. But at least he was finally inside and could inspect it. His crystal blue orbs traced every inch of the box, and then settled on a mysterious piece of paper taped to it that he hadn't seen before. Puzzled, Mello tore the paper off and started reading it aloud.
"This plaque is to commemorate the brave pirates who gave their lives to keep this box safe from the Robot Menace. Lest we forget—This isn't helpful at all!" Mello took the paper and promptly ripped and tore it into many pieces, scattering them around the floor carelessly. "I need to find that button, not read about some imaginary pirate's memorial! Now then, where is that hidden button?"
In his frantic search for the 'hidden button', Mello literally looked on every inch of the box to find it. He looked up on the flaps, down on the floor, the walls, and even pulled back a small piece of the cardboard. But he didn't find anything at all. There was no evidence of Matt and Near's sound effects or joy. And it just killed him that he couldn't discover the cause! Exhausted, confused, and feeling helpless, Mello inched back to a corner of the box and sat there in silence.
"There's nothing in here...it's just an empty cardboard box." His tone was in a whisper, laced with confusion. Mello glanced down at the floor and pulled his legs closer to him, shivering in the sudden chilled feeling that went down his spine. "Then this means...The Game wasn't even happening in the first place. Nobody was out to get me. They were really only using their imagination. And...I wasted so much time only messing with my own mind. I only wanted to prove that that damn little sheep was out for me, and I wanted to turn the tables; but now I'm alone, confused, and cold..."
It was suddenly so freakin' cold in that box. Mello didn't even feel like leaving though. He was just too confused about all of this. All he knew was that he just, as Matt would probably put it, owned himself without even realizing it! Now, he did realize that he had wasted so much time trying to discover the secret, when the answer had been right in front of him the whole time. Was there even any reason to go back into the house and get some sleep? Mello didn't know. He just brushed his blonde strands of hair off his cheeks and slumped a little.
"It couldn't have just been their imagination. What the hell am I even saying? I mean," Mello sat up straight and held both hands out like he was holding a steering wheel and pressed one foot out against the box like he was touching a gas pedal. "If I sit here and pretend to drive a race car, does that mean that I'll ACTUALLY start hearing noi-" All of a sudden, Mello heard a very convincing sound effect; it sounded like someone starting up a vehicle. His eyes widened and he looked at his hands and took his left and mimicked turning an ignition key. Sure enough, that was where the sound was coming from.
It was actually working! It had been a very long time since Mello had last played by using his imagination. So long that a smirk tugged at his lips when he noted how it was like he was really driving a race car. He was, well, shocked and delighted at the same time. He continued steering and pressed down on the 'gas pedal' and started up the car.
"Oh yeah! It actually works!" Mello took his left hand and 'shifted gears', now believing that he was really driving since he was beginning to feel a sudden vibration and an engine roaring. "Wow...! Now THIS is unbelievable! But it's really freaking happening! WOO! This beats television by a long shot!"
[.]
Outside the box, there was a large dump truck by the open gates in front of the orphanage. It was actually the source of the realistic sound effects and vibration that Mello believed was his imagination taking him away from reality.
You could hear Mello's very loud whoops and cheers coming from the inside. He was very sure that he would win the 'race' he was in. And he only got more and more into it when these automatic pincers attached to the truck leaning forward and grabbing the box (with Mello still inside) and dumping in with the other trash.
"WOOOO! SCREW TELEVISION, THIS IS AMAZING! YEAH! I'M WINNING! LOOK OUT, HERE COMES SPEED RACER!"
[.]
Inside Mello and Matt's bedroom, the later was having trouble sleeping. Matt was tired from using his imagination on going on all of those 'adventures' with Near, but he could not drift off. So he just started playing his DS, thinking he would eventually fall over tired from that.
It wasn't like he didn't know of Mello's loud whoops and cheers from outside. He could hear it all. And, honestly, Matt was very glad that Mello had gone out there and used his imagination. It would do him some good to escape reality and just...go someplace that didn't involve Near, L, or the harsh ways of the world.
Suddenly, the door to the room opened. Near hesitantly stepped in almost silently while rubbing his eyes, having been rudely awakened previously. Matt noticed him enter and blinked before pausing the game and setting it to the side.
"Near...?"
Near shook his head. "I can't sleep; I keep hearing someone whooping and shouting about 'race cars' and 'the most fun they've ever had'. It...also sounds like someone having an orgasm at times..."
Matt realized right away who Near was talking about. He smirked and stifled a laugh, getting out of bed and walking towards the window, but not facing it.
"Mello finally discovered how to work the box..." Near blinked, and Matt sighed happily. "Doesn't it sound so great?"
"THIS IS THE MOST FUN I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE! I'M WINNING! ….OH, BLUE CAR, I'M GOING TO CRASH AND POUND THE CRAP OUT OF YOU! YEEEEAH! I AM NUMBER ONE~! WOOOOOOO YEAAAAH! HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!"
Near just stared...for several minutes. "Ahhhh...yes, I'm really proud of him?"
[.]
Back outside, the truck had successfully picked up the box and was driving away to the local dump. Mello was still inside though, and he was totally absorbed in pretending that he was driving a race car. He continued to shout happily and rave about how much fun he was having. And he didn't stop mimicking driving.
"VROOM! ONLY TWO MORE LAPS TO THE FINISH LINE!"
The dump truck had driven a little distance away from Wammy's. And it didn't take too long to reach the dump. Once inside the huge dump, the driver backed up carefully and then unloaded it by opening the hinges.
A huge pile of disgusting garbage fell from the truck and to another pile, and Mello's box was on top and started sliding along with it. This only made him even louder because judging by the vibration, he got the impression that he was going to win the 'race'.
"VICTORY IS MINE! MELLO IS GOING TO FINALLY BE NUMBER ONE, YOU HEAR THAT, NEAR? WOOOOO! IT DOESN'T GET ANY BETTER THAN THIS! I'M ALMOST THERE! I'M UNBEATABLE!"
The box continued sliding furiously down the huge pile of garbage. Finally, it hit a really out of place rock. Colliding with the rock, like a chain reaction, resulted in Mello getting thrown out of the box and falling down a really high tower of trash. After a few seconds, he hit the ground roughly, and lied there limp for several seconds.
Mello was so out of it that he didn't realize where he was at first. He pushed himself off the cold ground and glanced around. He was in terrible shape: his clothes were stained, his hair was tousled, and the remains of a cherry pie slid off the back of his neck. After a good look at where he was, his eyes widened.
Mello realized that not only had he lost the race, but he technically lost The Game because he imagined Near standing on the sidelines of the race and betting he would lose. So, since Near was involved, yeah...he lost and also was deserted in a dump. This was definitely a night that he would never speak of ever again for as long as he lived.
"When I get back, I'm going to so murder those two..."
[.]
The next morning, it was a beautiful day once again. Not only that, but it was very peaceful since Mello was nowhere to be found. Normally, he caused a lot of trouble of the weekends. This is a random thing listed, but Roger was fully aware that he was obviously gone. Matt had gone to him and tried to convince him that he should go out and find him, but the aged man just sighed deeply and mentioned he would take back his lawnchair first.
After the encounter with Roger, Matt and Near decided that they would go outside and play with their box until Mello returned. They both walked over to where their box was the previous day and wore looks of disappointment.
"Aw, our box is gone!" Matt spoke up.
"Oh well."
Matt sighed and then glanced around, trying to think of something to do. They would need something to do in order to pass the time. Besides, Matt's games needed to be charged. And Near almost always played with the exact same toys everyday.
"I know, let's go watch some TV until Roger decides to take us out with him to find Mello." Matt suggested with a slight smile.
Near glanced back at him and nodded in agreement. The two walked off together back into the building, but he couldn't help but say this, "I just hope Mello isn't too down in the dumps like he was yesterday..."
Cue fail music sound effect...
-The End...?-
[.]
*Sweatdrops* Yes, yes I have no idea what that was either. I was only writing this because it seemed like a funny idea, and because I wanted to test myself to see if I could successfully combine Spongebob and Death Note together. Though, I'm not very sure it worked out. But even if it didn't, that's okay. Because there's many other anime out there that just might go with it. Even my Naruto/Spongebob parodies don't quite seem to turn out okay enough. ^^'
Oh, and I had a hard time trying to decide who to have Squidward's role. I considered using Near, and then making Mello Spongebob. But Mello doesn't SEEM like the Spongebob-type. And the idea of Near as Spongebob was far too hilarious to think of, and I went with it. Think of this entire fic as a...semi-crackfic.
Don't jump to conclusions about Mello's role. I didn't give him Squid's role in order to torture him, I do like him as a character after all! He's only Squidward, because Squidward didn't have any imagination in the episode of the cartoon, and I have a theory that Mello wouldn't have any either. Think about it: he's so absorbed into the harsh ways of reality; always trying to beat Near and become number one. Doing all this, he probably never had just escaped reality and had some true fun.
When I was writing this (most likely fail) parody, I thought I'd include mentions of my little "theory". To make it seem more...Death Note-ish. You know? The series heavily includes dark themes? Psychological anyone? Ohhh...I'm rambling once again. -_- Forget all of what I just said, please.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed...or at least was amused...by "Idiot Box"! Since this was the first Spongebob parody I have written for Death Note, I'll need some good criticism I suppose. *Holds up a fire extinguisher* but watch the flames!
I would love to see some comments~ Read and Review~ :)