I lay awake, staring straight up at the blue ceiling. I looked over at the alarm clock. 3:49am. I sighed. I needed to get some sleep. I tried to force my eyes shut, but they just wouldn't close. There was too much on my mind. I looked over at the body sleeping next to me. I envied him for being able to sleep so guiltlessly.

Cody looked so peaceful when he slept, like he didn't have a care in the world. And maybe that was how it truly was for him. His blonde locks hung over his forehead, into his eyes. I played with one of his curly wisps of hair; pulling it straight and then letting it go, watching it bounce back in place. He didn't move.

I sighed as my eyes landed on the picture frame next to his bed. It was a picture of him and… her. I shook my head and I couldn't help but feel guilty.

No matter how many times I've thought about it, no matter how many different ways you spin it, I was still the other woman. The one that ruined the perfect relationship. The one that left a trail of tears and destruction in her path.

I knew what I was doing was wrong. I would never want anyone to do this to me, yet I just couldn't help myself. I just couldn't bring myself to end this thing I had going with Cody.

I felt a pang of regret in my stomach. Ashley was so sweet. And she really loved Cody. And, even thought it takes two to tango, in the end, she was going to end up hating me, the slut, not Cody, the angel.

"Babe, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

I looked up and saw Cody leaning up on one elbow, rubbing his eyes. I had just realized that I was crying. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "Nothing. Everything's fine," I said, looking away.

"Sam, really, what is it?" The sincerity in his voice made me look back. It was the warmth behind his eyes that made me tell him what was on my mind.

"I think this thing needs to end."

"Sam, don't be stupid," Cody said, sitting up. I sat up with him, and he turned on the lamp next to the bed. The light shone bright and I blinked a couple of times.

"Cody, I just feel so guilty."

He gently caressed the side of my face. "Why?"

I pulled away from him. His touch somehow manipulated my thoughts. "Cody, you're cheating on Ashley and I'm helping you!"

"But, Sam, I love YOU!"

Of course. That's what he always went back to. "Then break up with her," I said coldly.

"But… I love her too."

I snorted and shook my head. "Of course you do! If you love her so much then why do you blow her off almost every night to hang out and… you know… with me?"

I love him. Everything about him. His looks, his personality, his gentleness. That's why I hadn't tried to stop this little thing we had going when it started over a month ago. But the guilt was beginning to kill me. Every time I passed Ashley backstage, I felt that pang of guilt. I felt even worse whenever she smiled and waved, and I can't even explain the remorse that came to me when she stopped to say hi.

Cody let out a frustrated sigh and ran his hand through his curls. "Sam, I don't know."

"So, then, let's end this." I crossed my arms against my chest.

"No."

"So, then, break up with her."

"No."

"Cody, it's me or her. Choose now."

He was quiet as he thought. Finally he looked at me. "Sam, don't do this to me," he said quietly.

My heart dropped. "Then what's going to happen?"

"We can just keep doing this." He smiled.

I sighed. "Fine." But that won't keep the guilt from eating me inside out, I thought. I knew it was wrong, to keep doing this. But I didn't want to loose him, even though I never really had him in the first place.

He kissed me gently on the forehead and shut the lamp.

I passed by Cody's room the next day, like I always did on my way to mine. I paused, though, when, instead of seeing Nick and Ashley sucking face, or looking all lovey dovey cuddling, I saw them arguing. Ashley was yelling at Nick, tears streaming down her face.

"How dare you! Did you really think I wouldn't have found out?" she shrieked. She pulled at her perfect brown hair as blackened tears found themselves down her face.

Cody looked helpless. "Not so loud, babe," he kept pleading with her.

"No! I want everyone to know what a lying, cheating son of a bitch you are!"

"Ashley—"

"Fuck you!" She ripped the necklace that he had given her for her birthday and threw it at him.

"Come on, Ash, don't be like that!" He held on to the necklace tightly.

"I hate you! How could you cheat on me with a bleach-blonde slut?" She screamed. I hid behind the bathroom door, hoping she wouldn't see me, but no such luck existed. "You! You bitch!" She launched herself at me, but, thankfully, Cody grabbed her and held her back. "How dare you! I am going to kill you!" she screamed, struggling against the arms of the football player.

I was speechless. I didn't know what to say. But I figured I had to say something. And, apparently, denial was the best way to go. "I don't—"

"I always thought you were so sweet," she cut in, "—and nice, but I guess I was wrong. You're just lying whore!" Tears were running down her face.

Ashley was still struggling against Cody who was still trying to hold her. I took a slow step back, my hands out. I looked over at Cody. He was looking down at the wreck in his hands. He looked up into my eyes, and my heart broke. I saw it all in his eyes. He was done with me.

He swung Ashley around to face him. "Come on, sweetie. Calm down," he said in a soothing voice. She sent him a withering look through her tears.

"Leave me alone, you cheating asshole!"

"Ash, baby, I don't know what you're talking about. I haven't cheated on you. I don't know where you heard that, but it's not true."

And she believed it. She believed that load of crap he fed her.

He walked away her then, hand in hand, not looking back at me. I don't think he knew that he left me crying in the hallway.

I guess I knew it was going to end like this. I should have listened to my mind. I knew it was wrong to cheat with Cody. But I didn't listen. And I got hurt.

But I guess I deserved it.

Because that's what you get when you let your heart win.