I Feel Bad
Jommy

Chapter 1
I Honestly Dont Know What To Say

a/n:Okay, so I'm writing this based off the song by Rascal Flatts. So, basically, it's a Jommy, and so...yeah, you should read it, cuz it'll be good! (Yeah, I'm egotistical, and I know it!) Okay, so for those of you who have heard the song, it's not gonna turn out the way the song does, but for those of you who haven't heard it, I recommend that you find a way to...

I recommend you go to Gavin Mikhail's myspace and listen to his song "Catch Your Fall" while you read this. The song is used later in the story, but it's definately worth the time...the song is amazing!

Tommy walked past Jude to the stage and lightly brushed her shoulder as he did. He looked back momentarily, but continued walking.

"Tommy is it true!?"
"Did you guys really get divorced?"
"Are you getting divorced?"
"Do you love Portia?"
"Is Jude's baby yours?!"

Tommy cleared his throat, and the reporters quieted.

"I called this press conference to clear up some of the rumors that have been floating around in various magazines." He looked back at Jude who nodded.

"To start, no, Portia Mills and I are still married. But we are getting a divorce. The papers went through Monday afternoon. Do I love Portia?" He looked down at the stack of papers in front of him. The top piece had a list of answers, and at the bottom, there was a picture of Jude in Tommy's new pent house (That he'd bought after he and Portia seperated.), kissing an unidentified black-haired male.

"I did...But after I was told that she was cheating on me with my best friend, Kwest Taylor, no, I don't anymore." He looked down again.

"Are the pictures of Jude in your pent house kissing someone, you?" He looked up.

"I will say this. Many things happened while Jude and I were on Tour. I won't say what and I won't say when. That information we are with holding."

"Is Jude's baby yours?" Tommy looked down again. Jude walked out onto the stage with her guitar. (Half was a press conference, half was Jude and Tommy performing their new singles.) She sat down on the stool next to the podium Tommy was standing at and began to play.

"I was your girl
Gave you my world
My everything
But you wouldn't see
I had your back
I backed you up
Whatever I did
Was never enough..."

Tommy knew the song wasn't about him...It was about HIM.

"Just you, you
That's all you ever thought about
You, you
No one matters like you do
What goes around comes around
You should know by now

Bet you never thought that I could break you
Did you think that I would look the other way
Yeah you had it all figured out
But tell me who's the one who's crying now..."

Jamie had begged her to give him another chance...She'd cried to Tommy over the phone for weeks, telling him she didn't think she should trust him again...Tommy, being her friend, put his head before his heart, and told her to do what she thought was right. (Though, he wanted to tell her to come be with him...)

"The palm of your hand
That was your plan
Gave me no time
But now you want mine
It's all about take
You took too much
Nothing inside
I'm all used up..."

And because of that, the next day at the studio, Jude showed up, hand in hand with Jamie. God knows Tommy regretted telling her to do what she thought was right. He wanted her...But when she told him she was marrying Jamie, he eloped with Portia again...

"Come on
You, you
Nothing else matters like you do
You know what I'm talkin' 'bout don't you
What goes around comes around
You should know by now..."

She looked over at him. Following him marrying portia, they spent the next 2 months not talking...And then Jamie attacked her...

"Bet you never thought that I could break you
Did you think that I would look the other way
Yeah you had it all figured out
But tell me who's the one who's crying now..."

After he did, he ran. So Tommy agreed to take Jude to california until Jamie was captured. And thats where their baby came along...

"On your one night stands (should've thought about that)
Says she's just a friend (should've thought about that)
Are you satisfied now? (should've thought about that)
Cause you can't hold me down, not now
I wanna thank you 'cause now I'm free
I can breathe again and I'm never going back to you..."

Tommy fully planned to tell Portia that he wanted a divorce when they returned home. At that point, they'd been gone for 6 months, and Jude was 4 months pregnant. Everything was brought to them in California. They didn't have to worry about Jamie showing up...they may not have had security watching them (Which is probably a good thing), but they were watching the outside. And when Jude and Tommy had been missing for almost exactly 6 months, Jamie found them...

"Bet you never thought that I could break you
Did you think that I would look the other way?"

When they'd returned home, Tommy had vowed that they were going straight to his place. He was going to end it with Portia before anything else happened...But when they opened the door (laughing over the fact that their baby had kicked for the first time.), the sight was singed (I check dictionary. com-that's a real word. it's got the g sound like grunge.) into their brains, though all Tommy wanted to do was erase it.

"Yeah you had it all figured out
But tell me who's the one who's crying now, yeah yeah..."

Portia swore (for about 2 seconds) that it was the first time. Tommy had been pushed to the limits of wanting to hit her, and she told them (him and Jude) that it'd been going on for 8 months... Before he'd even left.

"Bet you never thought that I could break you
(Bet you never thought that I could break you)
Did you think that I would look the other way
Yeah you had it all figured out
But tell me who's the one who's crying now!..."

Jude looked at Tommy again and smiled. He smiled back.

"As far as Jude's baby..." He offered her his hand, and she stood, handing her guitar to Speid, who was on the edge of the stage. "Before I answer that question, I'd like to state, that when I returned home a month ago, I learned that Portia Mills had been cheating on me for 8 months." Jude took his hand and stood next to him, laying her head lightly on his shoulder. "Jude is 5 months pregnant...and YES, it is my baby." The reporters erupted in questions, but he turned to Jude, who was hardly keeping her eyes open. He whispered. "Are you okay?"

"Mmhmm...just tired..." He laid his hand over her stomach as the baby kicked. He kissed her softly. She smiled, and stood up straight. He sat down on the stool she'd been sitting on, and pulled her close to him. The band behind them began to play as someone brought Jude a stool to sit on. She watched him as he began to sing.

"
I'm always gonna be one life behind
That's why I'm all alone
What's it gonna take to make you see
That we are falling apart
I wonder can we throw away the past
So we can stop the screaming match
I'm not gonna break down anymore
I've found my way to the door

I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
It's killing me it's killing me
To watch you leave

I've tried to talk about what's really wrong
I see that look of discontent
The volume starts to rise and then it's on
That's why I have to go
Dealing with the pain is all that's left
Because we can not get along
You wanna put the blame on me again
I think that we have reached the end

I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
It's killing me it's killing me
To watch you leave
I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
You keep blaming me, blaming me
For what you do to me

It's your turn to watch me leave you
It's your turn to watch me leave you
It's your turn to watch me leave you

I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
It's killing me it's killing me
To watch you leave.
I can see through both of us
It's an issue over trust
You keep blaming me, blaming me
For what you do to me..."

Tommy looked at Jude and smiled. He looked at the crowd of reporters with microphones and cameras, and mouthed and Thankyou before walking off the stage with Jude. They walked to Studio A, and she laid down on the leather couch. He laid next to her, and wrapped his arms around her.

"Are you sure you're okay?"

"Mmhmm...I'm just tired..."

"You're sure you're not sick?" He felt he forhead. She clutched her stomach suddenly and leaned over him, throwing up all over the floor. "Honey, you're hot...You need to go the hospital..." He stood in a non-vomit-covered spot and lifted her off the couch bridal-style (Yeah, I'm using that term alot, I know.), and carried her to the lobby, meeting Sadie and Liam.

"What's wrong?"

"She's running a fever, and just threw up all over the floor in the mixing booth of Studio A."

"Okay, take her, we'll make sure someone takes care of the studio, and then we'll be there..." Tommy nodded and then walked out.

As the doctors passed, Tommy got angry and walked up to the desk.

"I've been here for 4 hours, and no one has said anything about my girlfriend!"

"What's her name?"

"Jude Harrison."

"The doctor should be out mometarily...If you'll wait-"

"NO! I was told that 2 hours ago!"

"Jude Harrison?" He turned and saw the doctor.

"How is my girlfriend?"

"She's got a high fever. It may just be the flu, but because she's so far into her pregnancy, I'd like to keep her overnight. We're pushing antibiotics through her system, so the fever should break by tomorrow..."

"Thank god..." Tommy leaned against the counter for a moment and then looked up at the doctor with tears in his eyes. "Can I see her?" The doctor nodded solemnly and then walked away.

Tomm walked into Jude's room and walked over to the bed, smiling at her sleeping figure and sat down next to her. She opened her eyes, and tears brimmed her eyelids. She sat up and hugged him...For the first time ever, instead of letting Jude cry to him, he cried into her shoulder, letting it all out. She began to sing softly.

"It's that time
To sink or swim
I try
To be stronger inside
And rise above myself
I know for you
It must be painful to
Carry the way you do
Though I can't be you
I see through
Your silence, feigned indifference gets you by
And though I'm trying I can't tell you when we'll fly
Just know...

I care I'll lift you up to
See where I will always
Be there any time you call
And I will take us back
Into a life of more than we've
Been through beyond the lengths that we
Went to to be here after all
And though we sometimes stumble and you're scared
I'm always there to catch your fall...

It's hard, I know
So much we can't control
You watch, wonder, and hope
For all the best
For us
I know for you
It must be painful to
Carry us still but you
Always carry through
When I need you
Your silence, feigned indifference gets you by
And though I'm trying I can't tell you when we'll fly
Just know...

I care I'll lift you up to
See where I will always
Be there any time you call
And I will take us back
Into a life of more than we've
Been through beyond the lengths that we
Went to to be here after all
And though we sometimes stumble and you're scared
I will be there to catch your fall...

Still counting down the days to when we'll finally arrive
But I am here now, you are safe now, we're O.K. now
We'll survive
And I will hold you when you cry...

Know I care I'll lift you up to
See where I will always
Be there any time you call
And I will take us back
Into a life of more than we've
Been through beyond the lengths that we
Went to to be here after all
And though we sometimes stumble and you're scared
I'm always there to catch your fall..."

They laid back against the pillow, and he calmed, staring at her. She smiled solemnly. He kissed her softly...

a/n:Oh...my...god...That was so not what I was planning to write. Okay, ownerships belong to:
Break Me-Marion Raven
Blame Me-Adema
Catch Your Fall-Gavin Mikhail

I don't know if I'm going to continue this story, because it ended up being soooo much more amazing than I expected it to be...I love I can't believe it turned out so well...le'me know what you think!