Chapter One-Telling the Children
"Must you go?"
That simple question from my wife's trembling lips, almost made me forget my resolve and stay. Yet, I knew I could not.
"You know I must," I answered.
She nodded, pressing her lips together tightly. "Then, I will try to bear whatever comes."
"How will we tell the children?" I asked.
Helen took my hand into hers. "They will understand."
So, I stood there in front of my four children and told them that I was going away to war.
Peter just stared at me in disbelief. Being the oldest, he understood better than the rest of them what war meant. Suddenly, my fourteen year old seemed so young, so small, so vulnerable.
"Let me come with you, father! I'll help you fight!" Little Lucy said earnestly.
Edmund snickered. Peter and Susan turned to him in shock.
"How can you laugh at a time like this?" asked Susan, her beautiful dark eyes full of tears.
My wife seemed just as shocked at Edmund, but I wasn't. I had always understood him better somehow. I understood that he had to laugh, or else that laugh would have turned into a sob. I put my arm around his shoulders and for once he did not shake it off. Then, I stretched out my other arm to ruffle Lucy's golden hair. "Lucy, you're a bit too young for war, don't you think? You'd better stay home where it's safe, although I shall miss you tremendously."
"Do you have to go? I mean, isn't there some way you could avoid it?" Susan asked. I could already see her practical mind trying to think of a way to keep me home.
"Susan," I said gravely. "I am going by choice, because it is my honor and duty to serve my country."
She glanced up at me sharply, sensing the reprimand in my tone. "I just don't want you to be hurt," she said swallowing a sob.
"I know, my dear girl. I know," I said, stretching out my arms to hug all of them. I could feel Lucy clutching my waist, her tears making my shirt wet. I could feel Susan's soft cheek against my own and smell the lavender scent of her shampoo. Edmund did not move from where he was standing, and yet, I kept one arm around him because I knew he needed it though he would never say so. Then, I glanced up and looked into Peter's eyes. I saw fear in his eyes, and worry. But I also saw pride. My son was proud of me and he had accepted my decision. Just as I knew he would.