It all started when I walked into class, orchestra class. We had to practice our pieces because we were gonna play in front of judges very soon, I used to find that exciting, but now I only want to go because there is going to be a field trip to six flags right after. I fell in a slop position and held my violin horribly. We began playing, my face was blank with no emotion. I played only notes and nothing more, I didn't care about dynamics or holding my violin up or stuff like that. All I did was play my violin, slapping my fingers on the finger board making sure all flat notes were flat and sharp notes were sharp. I had lost all confidence in believing I was a good player, I thought in my mind, if I couldn't be a good player, I would be a bad one.
On our last piece and most difficult piece we practiced playing without a conductor. This would give us a huge boost on points making it seem like if we pulled it off, we would surely win the title "Superior". As we practiced the song, the conductor examined the orchestra making sure everyone was trying. Her eyes directed to me. She must have notice I was different today, the bad kind of different...
She stood next to me watching and yelled "Come on! Where's your smile! Have emotion! Have spirit! I do not see you moving!". She always said good players moved to the beat, swayed with the dynamics, stuff like that. I for one thought is was STUPID! Might as well hit your head on the stand and slam your body to your stand partner while your at it! As I thought this in my mind I furrowed my eyebrows and made a angry face. "What's up with you? Your acting strange." The conductor stated. If she was gonna embarrass me in class why not say that in front of the announcement speaker, then everyone could hear it! I made a face again. The song ended and the bell rang. Everyone rushed to pack their instruments away and get to the next class before the next bell rang, no one wanted lunch detention. As I packed the folder the conductor tapped my shoulder and whispered "Stay after class, I'll write you a late pass."