So I had the extreme urge to write some Tiva angst. Not sure why but this is what came from it!
The Fall Of My Heart
The bullpen was quiet, to quiet for his liking. No one spoke, because they just didn't know what to say. The desk in front of him was vacant, just like it had been for the past month.
The elevator opened and out stepped his boss. The one that let her go. He didn't try to stop her, he didn't even ask her why. If it had been him he would have begged.
Begged and pleaded for her to come home with him. He didn't care how mad they were at each other. life without her wasn't a life at all. It was empty. Shattered if he was to be honest. Telling Abby was the worst part. She became so distant Gibbs almost sent her home one day. Eventually she pulled it together, with a little help from McGee.
He was ashamed. Ashamed Abby has been able to move on while he was still picking up the pieces. Ashamed that he was partly to blame. Maybe of he had been able to mind his own business, ignore the gut feeling he had. Maybe she'd still be here.
Sitting in front of him, her hair flowing down her back, her eyebrows knitted together while she concentrated on her paperwork. Maybe she would even be his. Maybe she would have seen through Rivkin herself.
He would have been there to catch her. To hold her in his arms while she cried. Take care of her when she felt like she couldn't go anymore.
He would never let her give up. She was capable of so much, and she just didn't see it. She was settling. Settling for what her father wanted, what she thought would make her happy.
But what did he know. It was her life, her decision to make. What did he care if she threw it all away? That right there was his problem. He cared too much.
Sometimes he wondered, what if he had died? Would she have been upset? Would she have cried, screamed, fallen to her knees and cursing gods name? Probably not. The thought was bitter but it seemed like the truth.
He looked at McGee, typing something into his computer, oblivious to what he was going through. Maybe he should talk about it. Get it off his chest and maybe he would feel better.
No. There was no one he wanted to talk to. McGee would think he was being a baby, maybe even loose what little respect he still had for him. Gibbs was definitely out of the question. How could he expect help from someone who couldn't even tell how he was feeling.
He could talk to Ducky, but he didn't feel like being evaluated. He was afraid of the outcome. But then again, maybe he was just crazy. It would explain a lot of things he had done, as a teenager and an adult. explain why he was pining over a girl he technically couldn't even have.
Another glare was sent in Gibbs direction. Him and those damn rules. Sure he wasn't really breaking rule 12, but he sure was close. If she was still here, he might even decide it was worth it. Because she was worth it.
The funny thing of it all? He hadn't even considered the possibility of being rejected. What was he a 12 year old girl? People don't just come together and fall magically in love. Love was a tricky concept. One he had some experience in. But truth be told he would throw all the knowledge and experiences away just to have her in his heart.
His thoughts scattered when the shrill ring of a phone interrupted the silence. He knew the order before it was said. Standing, he picked up his bag and pulled out his keys. Slinging it over his shoulder he walked to the elevator. He ignored the stares of his team mates. their opinions didn't matter anymore. The only thing that mattered was Ziva. And she wasn't coming home.