Yessirree. I've been wanting to do one of these for a long time and now I am. W zerozero t!

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-oh! Because if I did, I would be rich and not typing this now. I would hire someone to type it for me.

Once upon a time, in a land far far away, as far away as Egypt is, there was this really swell person named Marisu Aimahor. Say that out loud, not too loud though, or the people around you would give you weird stares.

She suffered a lot in her life. She's watched her family being brutally murdered, even more brutally than Bakura's, not once, but twice! I don't know how someone can be murdered twice but it's best explained as another Sharpie-sniffing induced incident.

Marisu was the best thief/princess/ninja/Shinigami/witch/air force pilot in her family, especially now that she's the only one left. That meant she was also the greatest thief/princess/ninja/Shinigami/witch/air force pilot in the history of Ancient Egypt since her family was pwnage to everyone else.

The murder of her family should have left her scarred for life with mental disabilities. She should have turned into a clinically insane person (A/N: No offense to anyone but her) who does nothing but collect bread and butter and spends her whole life trying to stick butter in the toaster and spread bread on it.

But instead she's just fine and dandy, thank you very much.

In addition to being all that Marisu was also a great beauty. Really. She had long, smooth as silk, soft as a feather, lovely as crap hair in the eye-burning color of neon green with invisible infrared highlights. Her waist was so small because she knows the workings of an electrical staple gun and drill, IN ANCIENT EGYPT.

Her eyes were her most gorgeous feature. They were in a shapphiregoldbloodredoceanbluepitchblackemeraldamtheystpinkquartzdiamond color that together looks like shit brown. In fact, Marisu's eyes were so beautifully enchanting; she can charm a man with a single look. Who doesn't want to stare lustfully into shit brown eyes all day?

Marisu only has one thing to remember her double-murdered family by. After they were killed for the second time, she got hold of the family heirloom, the Magically Magical Sword of Magic and Magicism. How did she inherit this if her family is pushing up daisies six (x2) feet under? Oh, she just broke into the family temple-a-majiggy and swiped it.

Her thievery is rival to none across the land. She can easily rob any tombs or pyramids. She has a secret way of getting past guards. Either she plays prostitute and seduce them or she uses her Magically Magical Sword of Magic and Magicism. Marisu doesn't use that sword to fight. With one delicate swish of the sword, set the guards' balls on fire. See? Rival to none.

Right now she is looking to kill the pharaoh. Why? She wants revenge on the Pharaoh (le gasp! 11111one) because apparently, he sent guards to massacre Marisu's family because her brother was caught peeing on the side of the pyramid.

If she was so strong, she could have just killed those guards right there and saved her family but then that would destroy the story! Whatever crap of a story that is really there anyway.

Join us next time when Bakura is sent hurtling 5,000 miles an hour into a Mary Sue story.

Bakura: YOU BITCH!!

NK: I know you are, but what am I?

Bakura: A bitch.

Sorry it's so damn short. Reviews please! Should I make this into a 2-chapter story or should I try to make it into a 123,456,789-chapter story?