Warnings/Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or Rozen Maiden (which is only used as mild inspiration for this fic anyways). Warnings include language, OOCness and a massive AU where I tweaked a whole lot of shit so if you don't like it, shoo~! Other warnings include extremely faint hints of both yaoi and yuri, though at this point it's mostly just inside my own head and not actually visible in the fic… except for the end maybe…? There'll probably be more solid interactions later on, so that's something to watch out for. My mom's brown bread is delicious btw, and I had to keep pausing to lick butter off my fingers while typing that whole intro piece. Now for the more important introbits

Originally inspired by the idea of Rozen Maiden, where essentially a person has a doll that fights. And that's as far as this fic is related to Rozen Maiden, unless you want to look at the show for size comparisons of the dolls to the people. Anyways, from there it deviates to EVERY human being has their own doll since birth, and the dolls fight for the superiority of their human partner. Their natural form is essentially the "doll" form, where they look just like a miniature human (see Rozen Maiden essentially for example), but they can transform into different fighting forms (full-sized human and larger), and also shrink to a "plushie" size in order to hide if necessary- or just want to be carried around easier by their human partners.

I largely used the shinigami characters' zanpakatous for their dolls, but I pair some normal characters together, like Chad has a little Ishida-Quincy and Inoue has a little Tatsuki-fighter, for example. Ichigo has Shirosaki, because I wanted them to be together, so I gave Zangetsu to Isshin xD you'll have to read the fic to see the rest of how I essentially smushed the fandom xD and this long AN is over, so if you're still here, read on fellow fans! Read on~!

~x~

Hangman's Noose

~x~

"SHIRO GODAMMIT!"

The pale doll casually slid off the couch to the floor and chose instead to hide behind it for some form of immediate shelter from his human's irritation. It was a little revenge for locking him in a suitcase yesterday, though surely chocolate sauce on the bed sheets wasn't too awful. Ichigo's thundering footsteps down the stairs said otherwise.

Shiro yelped when the back of his shirt was immediately snagged and he was yanked out from behind the couch, lifted to dangling just in front of Ichigo's peeved expression. "Oh c'mon aibou, nothin' a good wash can't fix. That's what ya deserve anyways for yesterday." He crossed his arms stubbornly, refusing to act contrite.

Ichigo's glower didn't lessen a bit. "I sat in it." He stated bluntly, scowling when his fighter doll immediately erupted into his maniac cackles. He shook the doll fiercely. "It's not funny, you little bastard! These were my good jeans!"

Despite being dangled helplessly, Shirosaki could only continue to snicker. The imagery was just too hilarious. Oh how he wished to see the dark chocolate stain on his human's behind, but Ichigo wouldn't be very happy if he asked to see, so the albino figured he might as well stay quiet and that would help him be put down faster. The "hollow" doll put a hand over his mouth to stifle the remaining snickers and only continued to look on with silent amusement.

Groaning in defeat, Ichigo lowered Shiro back to the floor and strode over him to the laundry room. Hopefully an early clean would prevent the stain from setting into the denim. The orange head automatically flinched when the window he was passing abruptly shattered. He ducked out of the way of the showering shards and instinctively kicked out at the invading doll to put some distance between them. "Shiro get your ass in here! Hollowfy!"

Hearing all of this along with his battle word, Shirosaki shot upwards into his first level transformation, sonidoing into the hallway and roughly slamming the doll face first into the floor, pinning her there without bothering to remove the giant blade attached to his back. "Bitch." Shiro cursed down to her, tightening his black nailed fingers around the back of her throat in warning when she tried to struggle.

"Brute!" She shrieked back up at him, kicking her heeled feet on the floor behind them like a rotten child. "You're ruining my dress, you barbarian!" Truly, she was clad in a gorgeously Victorian-age velvet green dress with long spiraling golden tresses. Shiro fondly called her type Barbie dolls.

"Ya attacked m'aibou, not the other way around." Shiro hissed. "Only I get to mess with King."

"Gee thanks, Shiro," Ichigo piped up blandly, resting his elbow on one raised knee and mourning the loss of his pants because the stain would now thoroughly set in now that they had this doll attacking. "Where's your partner anyways?" He cautiously peeked over the windowsill, but was unable to see anyone standing outside.

The pretty doll sulked silently, suddenly shrinking back to her normal small size, which Shiro adjusted for with only one hand around her throat instead. She appeared surprised by the transformation, which only showed Ichigo that her master was nearby in order to release the battle command. All three looked up when the doorbell rang.

"Guess that's her. C'mon Shiro, bring her along." Ichigo stood and made his way to the door, looking back to scowl angrily when the albino immediately began howling in laughter at seeing the chocolate stain. "Shut UP! It's your fault!"

It turned out that the woman who was the doll's partner had actually been trying to start a battle with someone else over a distance, but her doll had gotten confused with the order and instead had attacked the nearest pair since her target had been unclear. The woman apologized and passed over some money to pay for the broken window, and Shiro blandly handed the Barbie doll over back to her human partner.

Ichigo sighed and leaned against the door in relief, thankful that it had just been an accident and they didn't have to commit to an actual fight today. He was already worn out from one earlier in the week. "Okay, Shiro, humanize."

The albino doll shrunk back to his normal height of about up to Ichigo's knee, and stretched lazily. "Well tha' was boring." He protested when Ichigo's large hand came down on his head and ruffled his icy tresses fondly. "Oi!"

Ichigo smirked, putting his hand back on his knee where he was currently crouched. "What have I told you about looking for more fights than what we can handle?"

Shiro "fixed" his hair by rubbing his own hands over it a few times. "Che, we can handle anything." He boasted smugly, crossing his arms confidently, before gaining a sly smirk. "Now how bout them jeans~?"

Ichigo pushed the smirking doll away with an annoyed sound. "Oh shut up you."

~x~

Shiro was contentedly riding on Ichigo's shoulder in his "plushie" easy-travel form, with large eyes in an only slightly larger head and glove sized soft body. Admittedly their most vulnerable form, but also most adorable. He was also happily eating a small bag of pop rock candy, enjoying the snapping candy crystals against his tongue. They had been a bribe from Ichigo to keep from throwing a fuss as, yet again, they went to the cursed building called school.

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the constant sound of fizzling popping in his ear, but was more thankful for Shiro's quiet happiness than usual snarky whining, so he didn't complain. Dolls were only allowed in school in their plushie form, in order to prevent fighting as the administrators best could. The dolls still broke out though when tempers rose high enough, or if the girls wanted to show off (Shiro was rubbing off on him) their Barbies' new outfits, but largely the decree was obeyed. School was a boring battleground anyways.

Since Shiro hadn't put up his usual fuss that morning, pacified by his pop rock candy, Ichigo was actually early into the school ground- besides from the accidental attack even before that. He easily ignored the usual stares and whispers he gathered. Honestly, after two years of this, you would think that people would get tired of gossiping about a guy with orange hair and a hollow doll. Hollow dolls were admittedly rare, and mostly known for their violent temperament and wickedly strong attack power which helped the humans with them commit crimes, but it was not too uncommon for one to be as considerably docile as Shiro was with Ichigo.

"Hey King, kitty's comin'." Shiro suddenly said, leading to a louder bout of popping and snapping from his candy since he'd opened his mouth, but the sound soon faded when the albino plushie began chewing on the crystals once more, digging a teensy hand into the bag for more.

Ichigo turned and did indeed lay his brown eyes on his best friend/ worst rival, Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and his own hollow doll, Ulquiorra. They had fought a year ago, Ichigo and Grimmjow in a vicious hand to hand battle, while Shirosaki and Ulquiorra had both transformed into their final third form and essentially ripped into each other and the surrounding area. The nature park still had its massive crater from the battle. The city had been very unhappy with the pair of humans for not being able to control the sheer power of their hollow dolls. Ichigo had managed to scrape out a win against Grimmjow though, while Shiro had essentially nearly died before discovering his own third final form to match and then surpass Ulquiorra's- which he then proceeded to mop the floor with the green-eyed doll. There had been a lot of injuries on both sides however, and while Grimmjow still wanted a rematch and Ulquiorra still loathed Shirosaki for beating him, they could all admit that it would be a long time still before they tried that again. A friendship had somehow managed to develop out of that.

"'Ey Strawberry," Grimmjow grunted as soon as he'd stepped up along in stride with the orange head. "You get any those math problems right on the quiz from yesterday? I think I'm fucked."

Ichigo snorted. "Don't call me strawberry, dickhead, and of course you are. Never would have pegged you for an artsy bastard, but you must be if you suck so hard at math and science." He sniped back with amusement, unable to grow tired of their teasing, while managing to ignore the green-eyed glare Ulquiorra-plushie was giving Shiro, while the albino only retorted with a "Yer just jealous you ain't got none" comment over the sound of his said snapping candy.

Grimmjow though managed to ignore Ichigo instead and then focused on Shiro. "I still don' get how yeh lil shit there managed to beat my Ulquiorra. He's eatin' fuckin' pop rocks for shits sake. Shoulda been impossible."

Ichigo reached up and fondly patted Shiro with a huge amount of pride in his own strength and especially his doll's. "We're just too badass for you I guess~." He hummed, grinning broadly when Shiro immediately agreed now that he was in on the conversation.

"Damn straight we are King!" Shirosaki cackled vindictively, grinning plushie-softened canines at Ulquiorra's curdling look and Grimmjow's resulting sneer just as the bell signaling school's start rang.

School passed annoyingly slow, just like always, Shiro thought sourly, and he'd run out of pop rocks hours ago. He occupied himself for a while by doodling on the margins of Ichigo's notes, amusing himself a couple times by scrawling obscene things and making Ichigo flush and furiously scratch out the dirty word and/or picture. He was put in the bag as punishment after the dozenth time, until he'd whined to be let out and that he'd behave until Ichigo had to let him out or risk the teacher's doll marching down the row to scold them both.

Shiro smugly perched on top of Ichigo's spiky head of hair for the rest of the classes until lunch, engaging in staring matches with other dolls to intimidate them, though he always blinked first against Ulquiorra, the shitty bat. The other hollow doll took some small part of vindictive satisfaction at being the victor in at least staring matches. Petty loser, Shiro thought hypocritically.

"Ah finally lunch!" The orange head's hollow doll cried blissfully from atop Ichigo's head still when the bell rang once again. "Sweet sweet, short, but still sweet salvation!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes at the dramatics, grabbing his bag to head up to the roof where he and his friends usually had lunch. Shirosaki bared his teeth and hissed as soon as they were up, having laid eyes on Inoue and her karate doll, Tatsuki. Ichigo reached up and swatted his doll to quiet the pale plushie, shushing him audibly as well. He didn't really get why Shiro hated Inoue so much. She was a nice girl. Well he didn't like Rukia much either, so maybe he just didn't like girls?

Tatsuki noticed the slight against her human, however, and hopped down to the ground. "Shirosaki! Shut it!" She shouted, being joined on the ground by Chad's doll.

Ishida pushed up his chibi glasses and then crossed his arms. "It is very unseemly to disrespect Inoue-san so brutishly."

Ichigo resisted the urge to kick the irksome ultra-rare Quincy-type plushie. He didn't have a clue how such an annoying prick was paired with his legitimate best friend, Chad, the gentle quiet giant. The orange head took his seat and greeted his friends, ignoring the way Shiro dropped down and began bickering with Tatsuki and Ishida.

Renji's Zabimaru jumped down to join in just for the hell of it, but Ulquiorra stayed with Grimmjow, silently enjoying Shiro being picked on, despite Zabimaru joining in on Shiro's side of the argument because the two were closer than Renji's doll(s) were with Ishida and Tatsuki. Rukia's Sode no Shirayuki primly ignored them all and daintily ate her portion of lunch from her human's knee, quite a beautiful pale traditional Japanese doll.

"So anyways," Grimmjow started after getting bored with the dolls' bickering. "I hear that Hisagi's having trouble keeping his doll from going overboard in battles recently."

"I wouldn't be surprised." Ichigo mumbled around his chopsticks. "Kazeshini is probably the closest to being hollow than any shinigami doll ever could be. He's damn brutal and way too sadistic for poor composed Shuuhei-sempai. They seem like a bad match really."

"Hm, it'll work out." Chad said simply. "They were paired together after all."

Ichigo nodded absently in agreement, figuring it was the same with Chad's Ishida. "You think I should offer a battle? Shiro could totally knock Kazeshini down a few pegs and make him easier for Shuuhei-sempai to handle." Ichigo mused aloud.

Shiro broke from the argument at hearing his name and perked up with interest. "Hell yeah King!" Shiro crowed enthusiastically. "I've been dyin' t'face em!"

"I don't think thatsa a good idea, Ichigo." Renji interjected. "Hisagi-sempai wants to do it himself; even if you don't say you wanna help, he'll know anyways and not agree to the battle, and Kazeshini would only b'come worse."

Shiro snarled unhappily up at Renji for denying him an ample opportunity, but soon got back into his argument after Ichigo had again nodded in agreement. The subject closed, the guys tucked into their food, with the background sounds of their dolls' bickering and Rukia's and Inoue's idle chatter about seeing a movie later. Ichigo, Chad, Grimmjow, and Renji agreed to meet at the arcade later, because it was the safest, least destructive way to settle their competitiveness, while their dolls could spar relatively harmlessly in their normal forms on the DDR mats. That was always amusing.

Shiro groaned unhappily when the end lunch bell rang, whining and clinging onto the fence chainlinks. "Nooooooo! I don't wanna go baaaaaaack!"

Ichigo shook another packet of pop rocks, amused when Shiro immediately hopped over and happily accepted the bribe. Man, Ichigo loved this candy almost more than Shiro did. The orange head plopped the albino on his shoulder and then followed his friends back to class.

~x~

"C'mon King, lemme at'em. Five minutes tops." Shiro whispered eagerly in Ichigo's ear, sitting on Ichigo's shoulder still but having been released to his normal sized form after school had ended. Ever since being denied the fight against Kazeshini, Shirosaki was itching to let loose, and these thugs challenging his King were the perfect bait.

Ichigo hadn't been considering even loosing Shiro on them, but since a few more had gathered out of the shadows, the orange head could admit that he would need his doll's help with this scuffle. These kinds of thugs relied heavily on their dolls' fighting capabilities, and wanted to prove that they had raised the better doll against Ichigo's hollow one, but a few them were indeed wielding iron pipes and baseball bats behind their already battle-ready dolls, so Ichigo knew at least some of them would be focusing on him while they believed their dolls would take care of Shiro.

They didn't have a damn clue just how powerful Shiro really was.

"Alright, Shiro. Five minutes. Make it count. Hollowfy, form two." Ichigo agreed, crouching a bit to allow the albino doll to hop down to the ground.

Shiro shrilled with glee, rapidly morphing outwards and upwards into his second form- a demonic reptilian bone and blood colored creature that towered above Ichigo's six feet by an extra three feet- solid muscle and deadly talons.

Several thugs, and even some dolls, backed up rapidly at just the sight of him, but when Shirosaki parted his jaws and joyfully screamed, the sound waves alone were enough to make them all stumble a few steps back. Safely behind his transformed doll, Ichigo stuck his hands into his hoodie pockets, knowing that he wouldn't even have to fight now. Shiro was in one of those moods, and the hollow doll wanted to defeat all of them by himself. So he only watched as Shiro lashed his tail and launched himself at the opponents, feeling the drain on his energy as Shiro used his power to defend him, but not minding it too much since it was only a slight drain considering the uselessness of these thugs and their, admittedly, under trained dolls.

True to his words (and probably on some level of subconscious, to follow Ichigo's words), Shiro had dispatched all the thugs and their dolls to a level of unconscious within five minutes. A few would probably have concussions, and a few more had some scratches from Shiro's claws, but the majority only had deep tissue bruises and had fallen unconscious on their own. Ichigo couldn't really blame them, but didn't pity them either. Shiro was strong, and that he was proud of.

Shiro was purring, a deep throaty rumbling sound that seemed to vibrate inside Ichigo's own chest. The doll had enjoyed this outlet, and turned to Ichigo once the orange head had stepped up to his side and placed a hand against his face which currently resembled a mask. The purring grew louder when Ichigo just spent a few minutes petting the lines of teeth.

"Humanize." Ichigo murmured after a bit, holding out both arms and catching his hollow doll when Shiro shrunk instantly and had been briefly suspended in the air. The albino's purring was replaced with laughing, and the orange head couldn't help but grin fondly down at his mini-pale duplicate. They had been together since birth after all, and despite everything, Ichigo loved his little Shirosaki, and couldn't imagine anyone else in their relationship.

And there's the first chapter! :D idk if I'm gonna keep it light like this, or develop a more serious plot later on, but we'll see :3 if anything, this will at least be a two-shot, if not more. We'll just have to see, yes?

Oh god a new series… but I like it! Dx review to make me feel less guilty for doing this~