A/N- So here's my second story, its going to be a little different to my other story being that its going to be a lot more fun, cute and romantic with virtually no angst/heartbreak. So if you're a romantic, this is for you! I will admit, this first chapter is a little sad, but don't let that mislead you, its going to be a lot happier from here.
Heres a general summary: Bella makes a promise, a promise that includes finding the man that was dreamed of by her best friend Alice. She knows what he'll look like but doesn't know anything else about him, but still finds herself determined to find him. She soon comes across a guy who fits the bill... but is he really the one? Or could it be someone else, someone who Bella couldn't ever picture herself with? After all, Alice knows best right...?
This is an all-human story, which will have Bella liking someone else for a little while, but don't worry its 100% an Edward/Bella story. I'm actually very excited to write out everything I have planned for our favourite pair. This story will all be in Bella's POV and is rated M for lemons that will take place a bit later on as well as occassional bad language.
The rest of the chapters will be longer then this, probably more then double the length. This was more of an introductory chapter to get things going. Next chapter will be up within the week... if people like this that is. Please take the time to let me know!
"You walked with me, footprints in the sand,
And helped me understand, where I'm going.
You walked with me, when I was all alone.
With so much unknown, along the way,
Then I heard you say…
I promise you, I'm always there,
When your heart is filled with sorrow and despair.
I'll carry you, when you need a friend,
You'll find my footprints in the sand."
ALL I ASK OF YOU.
CHAPTER ONE.
THE NOTEBOOK.
Someone wise had always told me, 'don't be afraid of life… live each moment as if its your last and don't worry about the consequences. Live, love, laugh and cherish and make sure that you focus on nothing but your happiness.'
Those were the words of my very best friend… Alice Brandon. She'd said it one day while we sat in her back garden, enjoying the sun rays which so rarely appeared in the town we lived in. At the time I'd just playfully rolled my eyes at her, thinking she was just quoting another of her favourite movies, but from that day on she continued to repeat it, and even wrote it on the front of my notebook one day when I wasn't looking.
I was so mad at the time… the notebook was an expensive gift from my mother, who I didn't get to see often. However, I quickly found that Alice wasn't the type of person you could easily stay mad at. She'd always had this infectious personality, and everyone who she met always ended up liking her - including me.
She was my best friend… and in a life where I had only one parent to take care of me and no other friends she was everything to me.
I actually ended up giving her my notebook in the end so she could write more of her ramblings in there. Seeing her smile and obvious happiness as I gave it to her was a big reward and made me feel good for doing so. I always made sure to read what she wrote over her shoulder though, simply curious as to what she wanted it for in the first place. However, I soon began to notice that it was filled with ramblings and quotes, sometimes poems too. I also quickly discovered that the theme of everything she wrote was similar…
She always wrote about life, and how important it was to appreciate every single moment. She also wrote about love and all the things she wished she could achieve.
She'd always dream of all these things too, and would put every detail of her dreams in them. That was always the way she had been… she'd always been a dreamer as compared to my realist tendencies.
She was the one who would have been everything… the one who would have changed the world if she could.
However, in a cruel twist of fate which proves just how horrible this world can be - her life was cruelly taken away from her, before she even had a chance to achieve even one of those things.
Before she even had a chance to live.
I didn't know whether to smile or cry as I read the words engraved into the white marble… on one hand it was so heartbreaking to see this stone here, as it confirmed the reality that she really was gone.
But the quote she'd insisted on having put into it was just so her… like I said, it almost make me want to smile, just a little bit.
It read…
Mary Alice Brandon,
July 29th 1991 - May 30th 2009.
"Don't weep at my grave, for I am not there,
I've a date with a butterfly, to dance in the air.
I'll be singing in the sunshine, wild and free...
Playing tag with the wind, while I'm waiting for thee."
The poem was very sweet, and always made me feel a little better whenever I came here - because I knew she was okay.
She knew all along she was going to die - she'd always suffered with an aggressive form of cystic fibrosis, which unfortunately took her at the age of seventeen. It was the type that affected her lungs, making it hard for her to breathe.
She never complained about it though… despite always struggling with her breathing and always being sick. We'd been friends since we were five, but it did originally take me a while to really understand the implications of her illness.
She told me that she knew she wasn't going to have a long life, but didn't resent that fact at all. It wasn't like she could change it after all.
However as we grew older and she became more sick, it fully dawned on me… that she was going to die before she reached eighteen. I was about eleven when it fully hit, and wow, did it really hit me hard.
She was my best friend… all I had in this world. I just couldn't fathom the idea of being in this world without her in it. And ironically over time, it was me who ended up being the bitter one - I just couldn't fathom how it was fair that someone as wonderful as Alice would die before she really had a chance to live.
I was also scared of my life once she was gone… I'd relied on her for so long that I didn't know how I could live without her.
In fact, I actually became adamant that I wasn't going to really live without her. I had several college offers, but I decided that I wasn't going to accept any of them and that I would stay here with Charlie instead and just work at the diner or something. It just seemed like the best option… the thought of going to college was frightening, and I was certain that I wasn't going to be able to do it.
Plus, I just didn't think it was fair that I would be going to college and living a good life… while Alice didn't get to.
We got towards the end of our senior year and as Alice grew sicker, I prepared to reject my offers from the colleges. However, I got distracted from it when Alice had to go into hospital and instead found myself there most of the time.
It hurt to see her looking so sick… there were wires everywhere, and an oxygen mask permanently attached to her face. She also looked like a shadow of herself… she was very pale, and far too thin.
Again, I internally wondered how this was fair… and one day as I sat with her I ended up telling her about my plans to go not go to college. It just slipped out, and as I expected she angrily protested. I let it all go though, still adamant in my plans to go not go to college.
However, what she ended up saying next did surprise me… more then I've ever been surprised.
She wiped away the angry tears that had fallen down her cheeks, and turned to me with a desperate pleading look on her face. "You have to go… I want you to go and find him," she whispered.
"Find who, Ali?" I asked her, grasping her hand in my own, still sorry for causing her to cry.
"Him… the guy you're meant to be with," she told me.
At this point, I just assumed that the drugs were making her a little delirious, so didn't take what she was saying over seriously. "How am I going to do that huh?" I asked her softly, playing along.
"You have to go to Seattle… to the university of Washington, he'll be there," she insisted.
"How do you know that?" I asked her, suddenly finding myself more curious now.
"I've dreamt of it… of you and him together," she smiled.
"Oh yeah?" I murmured.
She nodded, "Yeah… do you want to know about him?"
"Sure," I agreed, noticing that she seemed happy to talk about this… the happiest she'd looked for a long time.
She closed her eyes and began explaining, "He'll have green eyes - really bright ones, and will have messy hair, you'll always wonder why he doesn't get it cut. He'll be tall and have a perfect smile of course. And he'll absolutely adore you… right from the first moment, but he might not tell you… as he's a little shy you see," she giggled.
"Oh right," I grinned, trying to picture this man she was talking about.
"Yeah… go and find him, please," she begged me, suddenly a lot more serious. She opened her eyes and looked right up at me, her blue eyes boring into my brown ones.
I bit my lip, suddenly uncomfortable, "I… I'm not sure Ali, I've already decided that I don't want to go to college…" I began explaining.
But she cut me off, suddenly urgent, "Promise me, please. You will be so happy if you go there and find him - so, so happy. And all I want is for you to be happy, and not sad."
"Alice…" I sighed.
"Promise me," she begged, her eyes filling with tears, "please."
"Okay… I promise," I agreed.
"Thank you," she relaxed against the pillows, "Oh, by the way I've got something for you."
She reached out and pulled something off the table next to her bed and handed it to me. My eyes widened when I realised it was my notebook I had given to her a while ago.
"Why are you giving me this? It's yours," I asked, trying to hand it back to her.
"Not anymore," she shook her head as she pushed it towards me, "please, I want you to have it back."
"Okay," I sighed, knowing there was no point in arguing with her.
"Thank you," she smiled, "now make sure to read it sometime after I've gone… I've put some things in there for you."
"Details of more of your psychic dreams?" I teased.
"Of course," she giggled, "now go for it… go and live for both of us, and please, don't be sad."
"How can I not?" I sighed, suddenly depressed again.
"Because I'm not," she smiled softly, "I'm going to be free soon… and I'm okay with it."
"You're so brave," I murmured, squeezing her hand gently.
"So are you," she replied, causing me to instantly disagree, "don't roll your eyes at me! You've just got to go out there and discover just how brave you are. Go out there and do everything, don't be scared, and go and make friends… and find him."
"I will," I whispered as I leant down so my head was resting next to hers. I closed my eyes and tried to picture this man she was talking about… but I only came up blank at the moment, not having any idea at all of who she'd pictured.
"I promise I will…"
She died two days later… the doctors said that it was peaceful - that she died in her sleep and wouldn't have felt any pain. Admittedly, it did make me feel a little better to know that she didn't suffer too much.
But it still didn't take away my pain.
For days I just laid in my room, unwilling to move from my bed. Charlie came in to check on me and bring me food a couple of times a day, but soon learnt to leave me alone… so I could grieve.
I did go to her funeral though, but I honestly couldn't remember any details from it… I was in such a catatonic state that I didn't notice anything or anyone around me. I also made sure to hold my emotions in until I was back in the seclusion of my room, when I then went and let it all out.
I then spent a couple more days in my bed, alternating between crying and sleeping, before deciding it was time to do something productive… which was getting in touch with the colleges to tell them I wanted to reject the offers.
However, as I climbed out of my bed ready to go downstairs for the first time in days something on my bedside table caught my eye… it was the notebook that Alice had given back to me.
I remembered that I told her I'd read what she wrote in it sometime, so decided to do it now, knowing that contacting the colleges could wait a little longer.
So I sat back down with the book on my lap and slowly opened it, feeling my eyes widen with tears as I saw the picture taped on the first page. It was a picture of me and Alice from around about a year ago, taken on that day in the back garden. The sun was shining in it, causing us both to squint slightly against the bright light, but both of us still had matching wide smiles on our faces as we clung on to each other for the picture.
I smiled as I remembered her asking Charlie to take this picture for us, and then her stubborn refusal to show me it. It was clear all along what she was planning.
I flicked through the pages noticing that the whole book was dedicated to me… all the quotes I'd seen her write about living and loving were all there because that was what she was asking me to do.
And as I continued through the book, my idea of rejecting all the colleges suddenly didn't sound so good… because it was clear that she really didn't want me to waste my life here. She was selfless like that - she genuinely wanted me to be happy.
And then I flicked through to the final couple of pages which were all dedicated to me… and him.
She wrote about all the things she'd told me about this guy, such as the color of his eyes, but she also wrote about how happy he would make me.
One quote that stood out in particular was this… 'It will be that kind of love where you'll miss him and he'll miss you even before you part, and where you'll never get tired of hearing each others voices. And the sound of each others voice… will send chills down your spine, and where you'll see each others smiles the second you close your eyes.'
The final page was her telling me how much she loved me, that I was her best friend… the sister she'd never had. I then realised that if it were the other way round, I would want her to be happy too, and I would want her to go and live her life as happily as she could.
That was when I made my decision… and I rung the University of Washington to officially confirm my place studying English literature there.
That was two months ago… and now I sat here in front of her gravestone taking one final look at it before I left for Seattle. My bags were packed and in my truck ready to go - I was ready to go - but I just had to see her one last time.
I placed the daffodils I'd bought her on the ground as I stood to my feet. I wiped away my tears, sad that I couldn't really think of anything to say.
Apart from - "goodbye, Alice. I love you and I miss you."
I took one last lingering look at the gravestone before turning and walking away, feeling like I was leaving a part of myself behind.
But it was okay… I was just doing what she'd asked of me.
She told me that the love of my life would have green eyes, messy hair, a perfect smile and that he'd adore me instantly. Now as a last promise to her, I'm going to find him… and I will, no matter what it takes.
I would do it… because I'd promised her I would.
However, I didn't know at that moment what that decision would lead too… and that it really would end up being the best and worst decision of my life.
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