Kieran kisses like he's drowning.
An hour ago, Cristina didn't know this. An hour ago, she never thought she would want to know. An hour ago, she never thought she would kiss Kieran.
Now, she knows, and she wants.
An hour ago, Cristina was panicking, holding a fire message from Diego. The Scholomance had been attacked, he had written. They had been faeries from the Unseelie Court. They had attacked where they thought the Centurions were most vulnerable. They found out that the Centurions were vulnerable nowhere.
Their losses hadn't been too bad, Diego had written, but when he had slipped away after the battle, he found that Kieran was gone.
An hour ago, Cristina gripped the fire message so tightly it creased between her fingers, willing her racing heart to slow and her panicked mind to clear. She couldn't do anything if she couldn't think clearly.
She couldn't tell Mark. The loss of Livvy had nearly destroyed him, nearly destroyed all the Blackthorns. If she told him that Kieran was gone, she was worried it would shatter him to a point from which he couldn't return.
She could go to Faerie herself, but even with her medallion, she had no way of knowing if she'd get there in time. Even if he was alive, there was no guarantee that she would be able to find Kieran, and even if she could find him, there was no guarantee that there would be any of him left. He had killed his brother, his father's favorite. Cristina couldn't imagine the Unseelie King wouldn't relish the opportunity to make him pay for that.
An hour ago, Cristina grasped for the bond that tied Kieran to her, through his oath of fidelity. It wasn't as tangible as her bond with Mark had been, but it was solid enough. Cristina gripped it as tightly as she could and sent a message along it. Not an order; she didn't know how exactly Kieran would react to an order from her, and she didn't want him to hurt himself if he were compelled to do as she asked. Instead, she sent a careful request.
Please, if you can, come back to me.
(Only now, an hour later, does she realize how possessive the request had been. Only now does she realize she should have said come back to us. Even still, she can't bring herself to regret it.)
There was no reaction to Cristina's plea. The fact that she could still feel Kieran meant he was alive, she hoped, but she had never expected that his father's court would kill him quickly. They certainly hadn't been quick the first time they tried.
Cristina sat, waiting and desperate. She knew she should tell someone, that they had to start figuring out what to do now, but if she let the news spread, then Mark would know. She wanted to keep the news from Mark for as long as possible.
And then, just as she began to think that she had waited as long as she could and would have to tell someone, as little as she wanted to, something tapped at the window.
It was only due to her extensive training that Cristina didn't shriek. Instead, she jumped and grabbed her butterfly knife, ready to fight off anything that thought to test her, to attack the Blackthorns while they were grieving. She stalked to the window and looked through it.
Outside, perched on the roof like some sort of inhumanly handsome gargoyle, was Kieran.
"By the Angel!" Cristina gasped. She threw the window open, letting Kieran climb in. "How did you…?"
"The Scholomance was attacked," Kieran said. He had a bruise on his cheekbone and his shirt was bloody, but he moved with the same fluid grace as always. "I could not remain there."
"I thought you were taken!" Cristina cried. "Diego sent me a fire message, I thought…"
"I am well," Kieran said, something almost gentle about his voice. "I have but a few bruises and scratches. My father's men were not expecting to fight me. They were unprepared."
"So you weren't hurt?" Cristina asked, her voice a little faint.
"Nothing but minor irritations," Kieran replied. "I am sorry to have worried you. I came as soon as I could, after I heard you ask."
Cristina stared at Kieran for a moment, adrenaline fading out of her body. Kieran was here. He was safe. He was alive.
Emotion flooded her veins, and without thinking about what she was doing, Cristina surged forward and kissed him.
It only took a moment for Kieran to respond. He kissed like he was drowning and Cristina was the only air he could find. He kissed like his life depended on it. He kissed like he knew these could be his last moments alive and he wanted them to count.
He kissed like something forbidden, and until both Kieran and Cristina figured out what was going on between them and Mark, he was.
Cristina pulled away quickly. Kieran's bicolored eyes opened slowly, almost lazily. His hair was the color of waves dappled with sunlight. "Is something distressing you?"
"We can't," Cristina said weakly. "We can't… It's Mark."
Kieran looked at her for a moment with something almost like confusion in his eyes, then the expression was smoothed away by a studied blankness. "You do not wish to harm him."
"You don't either," Cristina replied.
Something passed over Kieran's gaze. His head dropped. "No," he said, speaking to the floor more than to Cristina. "No, I do not."
"He'll be glad to see you," Cristina added. "He was worried about you."
"You told him about the attack on the Scholomance?"
"No, I haven't told him yet." Now that Kieran was here, safe and sound, Cristina wouldn't have to tell Mark that she was worried he was dead or worse. "But after everything that happened in Idris…"
"Your Centurion took me away from Idris in safety," Kieran replied. "He told me of what happened after. I am sorry for what happened to Livia Blackthorn."
Cristina let out a slow breath. She'd only known Livia for a few weeks, and it was still difficult for her to accept that she was truly gone. For her family… For Mark, who had only just gotten her back…
"Go to Mark," Cristina said. "He'll be glad to see you."
Kieran eyed her for a moment, then stepped forward, taking her hand. He lifted it to her lips, never taking his eyes off of hers. "I will do as you say."
Cristina watched, hardly daring to breathe, as Kieran released her hand and took a step back. He looked at her for one last moment, then he turned and left the room, leaving Cristina alone.
Kieran kisses like he's drowning.
It's forbidden, it's wrong, it's impossible. Whatever tension there is between Kieran and Cristina and Mark, it needs to be put on hold until Mark is no longer grieving. Cristina can't even think about this, not now. It's not the time.
But Kieran kisses like he's drowning, and it's addictive. Cristina knows she shouldn't, but she wants more.