As the crowd was moving to the rhythm of the thumpa-thumpa, Brian, in spite of the poppers, no longer manage to empty his head. Eternal dancer and now unhappy, God's gift to the gays of Pitt's felt alone. After setting the gay attitude kingdom ablaze on which he knew how to reign, he came down from the podium on which he danced with his childhood friend and his very old lover, Michael.
From the sensual heat of the bodies in a fever of excitement, Brian went over to the winter cold. It was late and the streets were almost empty. Only a few passerbies wandered looking for quick fuck, too quick to savour their pleasure. The hands in his pockets and the look lost in the darkness, Brian desperately set foot the ground, the thumpa-thumpa of the Babylon becoming more and more further, to finally disappear.
At last he arrived. In front of the entrance and also face to himself, the face of an alone man with a constricted heart was reflected on the window. He stepped into silently and went upstairs which separated him from the sanctuary in which he formerly introduced him to the pleasures between men…Another door, another barrier again stood, as hiding his memories. Brian entered and closed it with difficulty. The loft was quiet but well closed. Alone with himself, he really realized that Justin was no longer by his side. Upset by was happening to him, he went and got a beer and settled in his modern and functional sofa so as to think about something else. In vain. The pillows, the air, everything smelled the perfume of his lover now away. Brian couldn't hold a tear up which ran down on his cheek on which so many of his kisses alighted. Exhausted by the emotion, he fell asleep.
A sun's ray touched lightly his skin and woke him up. Brian hadn't really recovered from this night to say the least tough and was still wearing the clothing of the day before. Still lost in his dreams, he got up and made himself a strong coffee in order to surface. At last he felt a little better. As he was feeling an ounce of vivacity spreading throughout his veins, his mobile rang and made him jump. It was Mickey.
"-Hello, Brian?
-What?" He said, quite gruff.
"-I thought I should come, just to keep you company….Especially as you must feel alone.
-Well, why not…But frankly Mickey I'm full of beans!" Once again, Brian was trying to hide his feelings to keep up appearances…
"-Brian, I'm not fool. I perfectly know you're not." He retorted.
A blank followed. After several seconds which seemed to him interminable, Brian continued.
"-Ok, I must confess I'm not that good, but I'm not ready to commit suicide for all that…
-If you say it so…Well, stay right here you are, I'm coming! I'll be here within 10 minutes." Michael hanged up and Brian, with a sigh, put the phone down. He had hardly finished his coffee that Mickey hammered on his' door.
"-Brian! BRIAN!!
-Break it down while you're at it…" Violently he opened the door and saw Mickey's smiling face.
"-Oh Michael, your cheekbones are as high as usual as I can see. Sorry, I'm just taking the piss out of you…
-If it can cheer you up…" He said looking up. He came in and went and sat down. In the meantime, Brian closed the door the way he opened it and took a flask of poppers out of the fridge. He sniffed and, already in a trance, pressed himself against Mickey. Forehead against forehead, looking in each other's eyes, almost kissing, Brian continued.
"-So Mickey, can you tell me again why the fuck you're?" He threw already high.
"-As I said, I came so as to hear from you.
-What for?
-I know it's hard for you to take Justin's leaving, especially as you love him so much. A love frankly hard for you to show as you're so afraid to be thought of as romantic, besides…" He added, avoiding Brian's look.
"We wanted it to be so, Mickey. We have decided different ways for our lives." He said with an intense look. Michael, who didn't know what to answer, contented himself with closing the conversation with a sigh. Brian let the flask of poppers falling on the floor and got up and took the top of a beer off.
"-Do you want some?" He asked.
-Oh Brian, you know as well as I do that if I start drinking with you, this will again end in smoking…" He answered, not very enthusiastic.
"-So what, it will calm us!
-Except from I'm not the one who needs to be relaxed here because his lover left him. You do!" Brian realized he couldn't even keep up appearances and resigned himself to put on an act. Sighing he got up with difficulty and stood up, stiff. He continued.
"-You're right. The coffee, the poppers, the alcohol…you. Everything reminds me of Justin. I can't stop thinking about him! " Brian's heart got carried away. Michael got closer and hugged him, just to console him.
"-I'm here." Michael continued.
"-You know…Your separation is not definitive and you can still visit each others.
-"Visit"? What do the hell I care about visiting Justin, sea bream! All I want is to be with him! I admit it…" Brian suddenly felt humble after such a confession. Michael conceded.
"-The distance is inconvenient for sure but if the love is real, it's not a problem…
-It remains tough all the same". After a few seconds of reflection unusual for him, Michael proposed:
"-Why don't you leave?"