Obnoxiously Long Author's Note: Okay, first things first. I cannot take complete credit for this fic, and that is because it is actually a collaborative work between myself, and a good friend, known as Kaya Kyra on this site. The fact of the matter is, neither of us has ever finished a project, and we're depressed both by this and the insane popularity of our mutual friend Digitaldreamer. We're also equally frustrated by the mucking about with the story of the Rockman series, particularly the Zero games, where there's a lot that's good, and a lot that… well, we felt needed more. But given our track record, we didn't want to –start- trying to rewrite the entire game's storyline (tried that with Boktai, if you recall, got to about chapter 3, or maybe only halfway through chapter 3…), so here we are, with a fic that is actually her idea, more or less commandeered by me. Our arrangement basically has me doing the work while the two of us bounce ideas, but that's okay, because I had the most fun I've had writing in some time (not that I've –been- writing anything for fun for a while, but…), and together we are a fearsome team of insane authors indeed. A… Dynamic Duo, if you will ((is killed until dead)).

So, as some of you may now be observing, I am quite clearly not dead, the previous sentence excluded. I've just been busy going back to school and generally feeling uninspired. And I know it –seems- bad to be starting another project like this, but frankly, my FE drive has dried up a bit, and will probably remain such until I find some time to finish off Hector's story, at which point I will undoubtedly want to move on to another idea. Well, maybe not. Anyway, I could use a break from writing that, so here we are, on to a different obsession, the Rockman franchise. There was a moment when I thought that this wouldn't be as all-consuming of my fic-writing time as previous works have been, since I'm effectively working together with someone, and we can't collaborate –all- the time, but I've put such thoughts aside after writing the first chapter here. Oh well. With one friend collaborating with me and another pushing for us to actually finish the thing so we'll have something that we've finished, perhaps this'll be a first, and then I'll be ready to return to 10 Simple Rules and the much neglected Speak from the Diaphragm.

Updates aside, here's the stuff I feel obligated to say. This fic is cracky. Like…pipe dream cracky. I'm hoping that means it's amusing, but if you find characters twisted to suit my (and Kaya's) evil purposes offensive… I'm not sure why you're reading anything I've written, but this in particular will leave you dissatisfied. Um…some swearing gonna inevitably occur… I can't make any promises about a lack of sexual themed humor, but given that the most of the main cast (the Shitennou) are siblings by our reckoning, and Zero…frankly might not be interested in –anyone-, there's a good chance it will have –less- sexually themed humor than my Fire Emblem works, when I basically had a pairing for nearly every character involved in the fics. Anyway, there you have it. At my current rate I might be able to update again before too long, but those who've followed my career should know to never –count- on that, just check back every now and then (though I –am- pretty excited about this fic). Enjoy. And if you have the chance, review.

Back to the Past of the Future

Chapter 1: I Remember this Highway…

Zero, the blond-haired, bishonen, robotic star of some 13 games, numerous fanfictions, and so many more twisted fangirl fantasies, could quite clearly recall the last time he had been this frustrated, as he angrily (read: with no discernable emotion) walked the halls of the recently redesigned, reconstructed, redecorated, recarpeted, and rehabilitated Reploid Resistance base. In fact, numerous times when he had been equally frustrated surfaced to his mind within just the past few days. And for some reason they all involved Ciel.

But Zero wasn't one to muse on such things. Especially when there were more important tasks at hand. Shaking off the greeting of several resistance soldiers whose names he had never bothered to learn, Zero walked quickly, in exactly the sort of way he is never sprited, up to one of the various, cryptically marked doors of the base. Oh, perhaps to one with an unobstructed side view, the sign made sense, but from below, it more closely resembled a sort of three-dimensional cube with various bits suspended in midair stretching out across the hall so that, to such a being seeing a cross section, as it were, of the base, they probably formed something intelligible. Something like LAB.

The door recognized the approach of the red-armored Reploid, and obediently slid open to allow entrance. The word obediently is here used to separate this door from several of the doors that had randomly been installed with Artificial Intelligence systems on one of Ciel's spontaneous programming binges, a side-effect of going from working for 4 years straight on developing a set of robots to basically doing nothing of the sort. The doors in question had proven most uncooperative, claiming that people were merely using them, and had promptly ceased to open for any passerby, and what's more, had formed a small society and declared themselves the Republic of Doorland. This led to the base's most recent relocation, second only in infamy to the great cafeteria monster of base # 27. But that's a story for another time.

The legendary machine placed one hand on his hip, which he was still quite unused to having exposed, just above the white, thong-like piece of armor that had yet to actually be useful as a piece of armor. Fixing blue eyes on the girl before him, Zero shot her such a stern look that neither were much surprised when the item she had been holding gingerly in her tiny hands clattered to the ground.

"What is that?" Zero inquired in his very best paternal voice, honed from years of dealing with a fourteen year old girl who had suddenly been thrust upon him. Quite literally, as a matter of fact, their first encounter involved her falling into the tube where he had been sleeping for some hundreds of years and landing directly on top of him.

"Y-your Z-saber…" the young girl stammered back, eyes on the floor.

"Uh-huh. And where is it supposed to be?" he continued.

"Under your pillow where you always keep it while you're sleeping because you're afraid of corrupted Cyber Elves sneaking into the base at night?" Alouette asked sheepishly.

"Hey, James Bond sleeps with a gun under his pillow!" Zero defended.

"Who?" the girl asked, all trace of shame lost the second Zero's tone relented.

"Damned partial memories…" Zero swore. "Oh, right… you didn't hear that," he amended, remembering whose presence he was in. "Now, look," Zero began speaking in an authoritative tone once more. "I know my Z-saber is cool. In fact, I know that better than most people. But you can't just come into my room and take it in the middle of the night-,"

"Sure I can. You go into sleep mode really heavily," Alouette cheerfully interrupted.

There was a brief pause as Zero contemplated the fact that this rather loose-lipped girl now knew the secret that had been the entire reason behind soundproofing his room, setting up several stereos playing no fewer than 10 different radio stations at once, and then installing several very complicated locks on the door, for all the good it apparently did. Of course, the locks were installed by Ciel, and given that the things he most commonly found missing when he woke up were, in fact, locks of his own hair…

"The point is, you shouldn't, and you know it. Listen, Alouette," he said more gently. "That thing is dangerous. Why do you think I read the owner's manual so carefully?"

"The instructions are 3 steps long. Step 1: Be sure saber is pointing away from self. Step 2: Pull trigger. Step 3: Hack at enemies until they cease to move," Alouette quoted flawlessly.

"The fact remains, you shouldn't be playing with it by yourself. You could put your eye out!" Zero relentlessly clichéd. "And I know you suffered temporary memory loss from the circuitry damage the last 5 times you did just that, but we did tell you that it happened!"

"Like you're one to talk about memory losses…" a voice that was all-too familiar to the crimson robot interjected.

Zero stared up at the floating ball of light hovering in midair above him for a moment before replying. "So X…" he addressed his friend and compatriot, "you pop in to deliver one-liners, but when I'm, you know, fighting for my life, you're 'stuck in cyberspace' or some such BS?" Of course, there was no reply as the glowing orb that was all that remained of the heroic reploid had already faded away, that being the nature of one-liners.

"You could at least let me watch the security tape from last time so I know what not to do…" Alouette all but pouted in the silence that followed.

"No way. It's far too graphic."

"But it's my eye!" she protested.

"Just give me back my Z-saber, please. And don't take it again without permission," Zero commanded.

"Yes, Uncle Zero," Alouette replied, and stooped to pick up the white, metallic hilt, handing it to the blond Reploid.

"And you should stop calling me 'uncle,'" Zero added. "I'm not that-," he paused for a moment, and then began counting on his fingers while muttering to himself. After several passes during which his entire right hand was a blur, he turned back to Alouette and continued. "Actually, I guess I am that old… Man, that's depressing."

"Uncle Zero, did you want your chain rod back too? Cause that one is um… not working… anymore…" the young reploid admitted.

Zero sighed. That was the third time Alouette had conveniently broken one of his weapons. He was starting to have his doubts about Cerveau's craftsmanship. "We really need to get you some pets… that don't turn evil… and try to kill me…" he muttered.

As if acting on some cosmic cue, an alarm rang throughout the base, its piercing shriek loud enough to wake even Zero, and he could sleep in a tube buried underground for hundreds of years. The voice of one of the operators, a brown haired reploid whose face was constantly obscured by a visor, rang throughout the base's five levels. "Zero! The Shitennou are attacking!"

"What, all at once! Impossible! They're siblings, they can't work together!" Zero cried, his expression… well, as shocked as it ever got. Which is not very. "Well, there were the Wonder Twins," he added as an afterthought, "but they're mutants anyway. Or aliens."

"Yeah, apparently they sacked their tactician. And when I say attacking, I don't mean the kind where they wait for you at the end of a long string of enemies advancing slowly toward the base, I mean the kind where they're outside the front gate pounding on it with-," an explosion cut off whatever the female robot had been about to say, prompting Zero into action.

Zero dashed toward the door in his usual fashion, using the small jets on his feet to accelerate his footwork and essentially fly along the ground. Also in his usual manner, he slammed straight into the door, which, unfortunately, was not programmed to open at the speed Zero moved. As the door opened, he spent several moments recollecting his wits, then dashed out into the hallway, past several off-shooting rooms and, rather than wait for the elevator, opted to leap straight up the long shaft, kicking off the walls to push himself to greater heights until he reached the top.

To Zero's great relief there was no need to wait further for the main gate, located at the top of the shaft, to open, as the holes already blown in it were more than sufficient to allow the hero access. Well, perhaps 'relief' wasn't the correct word…

Leaping through one such hole as what remained of the door, a battered mess of scorched and bent metal, attempted to fold inwards with half of its hydraulics shot, Zero was confronted with none other than the Blatantly Ripped from Various Conflicting Mythologies Three. And a ninja. Er… I mean… the Shitennou. Harpuia, Fefnir, Leviathan, and… um… Phantom.

"Wait, Phantom!" Zero cried in shock. "But you killed yourself in a Kamikaze attack 2 savings-of-the-world ago!"

"Like you're one to talk about surviving blowing yourself up!" a voice called from nowhere.

"Stuff it, X!" the pony-tailed Reploid retorted.

"Yes, well, I got better," Phantom, a purple and white machine with a V-shaped mask on his face, protruding to the sides a bit, and a short, red cape, answered in a deep, mysterious voice. Cause he's a ninja.

"Well, I have seen worse things done to the continuity…" Zero said, shattering the fourth wall.

"Enough talking! Let's kick his ass!" bellowed Fefnir, a largely red and white machine, wielding two giant canons whose barrels resembled fanged mouths. His red eyes burned with rage from within a dark-skinned face as he glared at his hated enemy.

"And these are always such rewarding conversations," Zero remarked dryly.

"You want a conversation!" demanded the enraged Fighting General. "Fine! Yo momma's so stupid, she built you with Windows 20XX!"

Everyone oooohed appropriately, and turned to look at Zero. "I don't have a mother," Zero corrected. "I have a crazy mad scientist guy bent on world conquest and causing general chaos and destruction, and if you'd like to insult him, it's fine by me. But," he began, "yo momma's so stupid she built you based on a facet of X's personality that DOESN'T EXIST!"

At that, Fefnir could only stare down at his feet, utterly defeated, and sniffling slightly.

"Oh! Looks like the fire-user just got BURNED!" chimed in Leviathan, the only female member of the group, a blue and white robot with gold accents and two jets mimicking hair protruding from her head for underwater movement.

There was a pause, at the end of which all present conclusively agreed, "Shut up, Leviathan."

"Say, do you think Zero realizes that, since Ciel built the Shitennou back when she was in Neo Arcadia, she's technically the closest thing to a mother any of them have?" one of the operators whispered loudly to the other. The term 'whispered loudly' here refers to the fact that she had left her microphone on, broadcasting her whispered message throughout the base. In fairness to Ciel, she was doing an admirable job of keeping a straight face. 'Cept for that trembling lower lip thing…

"Alright, since you're all so eager for a fight…" Zero pointed the hilt of his Z-saber at them and flipped the switch on the side that activated the blade. Only this time, when the blade hummed to life, rather than its normal, semi-transparent, blue-green color, it was solid blue, and crackling slightly. He stared at his beloved weapon for a moment, wondering aloud, "Did Cervaeu give this thing some sort of Ice Element upgrade? Well, then… Harpuia." He turned to face the final member of the Shitennou, a green and white Reploid with wing-like protrusions coming from his head, the attached jets giving him great aerial maneuverability.

The green-eyed reploid grinned, and with a flourish, slipped his twin beam saber handles from their holsters, pink energy beams humming to life as he adopted a fighting stance.

"We're taping this, right?" Ciel asked the operators back in the command center, a large, circular room where the operators were suspended on two chairs with extending mechanical limbs beneath them, and the battle displayed on a giant view screen above.

"Yes, Ciel, we're taping it. Must you ask that every time Zero fights some-,"

"Yes!" the teenage super-genius replied, a wild look in her eyes, her blonde ponytail whipping out behind her as her head jerked slightly.

"You know, I've never seen Zero's Z-saber do that before," the other operator commented.

"No!" came a cry from a masculine voice, announcing the presence of another in the room. "That's… the Blue Saber of Death!" The speaker was a reploid who appeared like a middle-aged man, dressed in a long, green robe that nearly touched the ground, styled to look akin to the uniforms of the other resistance members. The visor he always wore and the clipboard that seemed attached to his arms were reminders of his status as the group's mechanic.

"Well, that sounds promising," Ciel commented.

"No! It means that there's something terribly wrong with Zero's saber!" Cervaeu shouted.

"Oh…" Ciel said slowly. "OH! Wait, Zero!" But it was too late.

Zero and Harpuia charged forward, blades raised. The two clashed together, Zero's single saber locking with Harpuia's two as each wrestled for control. Sparks flew from the spot where the blades met, and the sound of crackling energy filled the air. Or it did, until a deep rumbling became audible from within the hilt of Zero's saber.

"Huh?" the battling reploids said in confusion.

"Huh?" agreed the other three.

"Huh?" those watching from within the base added.

"Wait, what's this?" Harpuia leaned in closer, examining something on the brilliant blue blade. "Error 404: The batteries have been replaced incorrectl-,"

At that moment, an explosion of light and sound blew the scene apart. A deafening roar something akin to someone striking every possible chord on a guitar at once, a feat that had only been accomplished by a rather gifted music-themed reploid with some 57 arms, threatened to blow out the eardrums of the single human anywhere within a ten mile radius, though at the moment she was too worried about Zero to care. Beams of light shot in seemingly random patterns, something akin to the effects of a certain archaic atmosphere-setting device, from the nucleus of the explosion; a glowing, shifting ball of pure white light that had engulfed the entire group fighting outside. Lava lamps rained down all about the blast, shattering on the hard concrete of the road or occasionally landing with minimal harm, adding their own groovy feel to the scene. And then, it was gone, and nothing remained of the blast or those it had engulfed. Well, except for the lava lamps. They stayed. And technically there were some locks of Zero's hair and about a million pictures of him still in the base, but other than that, it left no trace.

"Ugh," Zero groaned. He could feel… well… sense, anyway, the hard ground beneath him, and the pain… well, damage reports, he was receiving strongly suggested that he was still alive… well, functioning, anyway. He slowly climbed to his feet, looking around him. From what he could tell, he was in some sort of alley, which was weird to begin with, since the resistance base didn't have any alleys, and since the Neo Arcadian government realized that 90 of all "accidents" happen between two people's homes, neither did they. He staggered over to where the alley opened into a street and peered out unto a plethora of familiar and yet unfamiliar sights.

The city all around him was filled with antiques, in fact, the city itself would probably be regarded as an antique. Cars, stands selling robotic pornography disguised as code samples that humans never seemed to catch on to, and a distinct lack of helicopter droids monitoring everything. There was only one logical explanation.

"I don't think we're in Neo Kansas anymore…" Leviathan, looking somewhat unsteady and battered, said from behind him.

"Wait, Neo Arcadia is in KANSAS!" Zero exclaimed. "That explains so much about the past 2 years…"

Ending Note: Okay, only… sort of got one thing for you today.

The Wonder Twins: Yeah, see, both Digi and Kaya, who I was talking to when I wrote this fic, didn't have a CLUE who the Wonder Twins were, while I know just from time wasted watching TV… not even at home, when I was on vacation at my Grandma's House for like, a week in the middle of Summer (though it may have been over more than one year). I find this fact very sad, though for WHOM I'm not entirely certain… Anyway, use Google and Wikipedia, its what they're there for. Though if you want, there are some videos on Youtube. The Wonder Twins must be experienced. WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!