Never Gone
Disclaimer: For anyone that actually thinks I own anything, please speak to my secretary. Oh wait, I don't have one.
AN: Here's another one-shot from the Liger. ^-^ I sort of twisted the plot around a little, but it shouldn't be too drastic. Also, let me know if I got the genre right, I'm not used to writing drama or angst, so I'm not sure how to label this one.(sweat drop) Oh and just as a suggestion, the song: "Because You Live" by Jesse McCartney goes really well with this story.
Summery: They say dreams are worlds in themselves. Just as the two worlds are parallel to each other, there are times when the worlds between dreams and realty coincide. To learn about the one from the other, well, that could be considered just one of many forms of enlightenment.
--
"Do you think, we'll ever be able to see each other again?" Sheena asked the Chosen sitting beside her. "All of us, together like we are now?"
With the final battle looming on the horizon, preparations and rest were in order. After their restocking in Flanoir, the group stopped near a forest on the same continent as the Tower. It wasn't much, just an Inn along side the road with a pond nearby for scenery; a refuge for travelers like themselves.
It was secluded and quiet, without the hum of city life. The eight friends needed this sort of recreation, time set aside that allowed for reflection of one's convictions.
So far, Sheena was having a hard time working through her confidence, and she was starting to wonder if the blond girl next to her was even attempting to reflect on matters concerning faith.
The two sat on the grass before the still body of water just a small distance from the Inn, the sky beginning to darken with each increment of time. Colette gave her head a cant with a closed eyed smile. "Of course we will! I don't know what I'd do if I couldn't see you guys every now and then."
"You don't have any doubts?" the summoner questioned, anxiously fussing with the ends of her pink sash. "What if we can't cross worlds when this is all over?... What if some of us don't make it?"
The blond's eyes slightly fell with the thought as her mouth formed a frown, but the expression didn't last and her smile returned. "Lloyd will work it out, and I know he won't let anyone die."
"That's some faith you have Colette, I wish I could believe in people like you do."
"But you do Sheena!"
Sheena blinked, a bit dumbfounded by the statement. "I... Do?"
Colette nodded her head fervently, her brows down and her blue eyes earnest as she made to look serious. "I know you do! Everyone has someone to believe in. I know that everyone has at least one important person they can put faith in."
Sheena blinked again. "Then, Colette, who's my important person?"
"I can't tell you that," Colette giggled, and Sheena got the odd feeling that the girl knew more that she let on. "Only you know for sure."
"Colette, I think you're a lot more intellectual than everyone gives you credit."
"Thanks," the small Chosen smiled. "You should try to figure out who that important person is Sheena, it will help you with our trials tomorrow."
Sheena pondered her words for a moment and was about to reply when they both turned on the footsteps approaching from behind. "Hey there my lovely ladies, is this where the party was? I should have brought some drinks."
"Zelos," Sheena grumbled, her eyes slits of annoyance. She wouldn't have normally minded his presence so much if he would just choose his entrances a little better. "This isn't a celebration, and besides, we need to stay alert and focused until our job is done."
"Ah, so are you agreeing to have a drink with me once the journey is over?"
"I- I didn't say that!"
Zelos closed his eyes in amusement, his mouth pulled back in a grin before turning to regard the other Chosen. "Oh by the way, Colette. Lloyd's lookin' for ya."
"Where is there to look?" Sheena thought to herself as Colette stood up instantly. "Really? I'll go find him then, thanks Zelos!" And she was already gone, running towards the Inn.
Exchanging a Chosen for a Chosen, Zelos took Colette's place beside the summoner, a smug, guiltless look about him.
"Lloyd wasn't really looking for her, was he?" Sheena questioned with a scrutiny that would not be denied.
"Why Sheena, are you suggesting that I lied to that innocent little angel?"
"...Yeah, I am," she spat and fingered a smooth stone near her hand. "So what is Lloyd actually doing right now?" She threw the rock, skipping it across the placid water and watched it thump a tree trunk on the other side. The mild display expounding on the small size of the pond.
"Oh." The man shrugged indifferently. "Well, he may or may not be taking a bath."
Sheena sighed in disgust and applied a hand to her head. "Zelos, you really are the worst kind of person."
"Nah, I'm just livin' the memory hunny."
"Don't you mean 'moment'?"
"Nope." He leaned closer, tilting his head to be mere inches from hers. "See? We just lived a memory together."
"Bah, Idiot!" Sheena shoved him away, which only caused him to chuckle. "I'm going to bed," she growled and abruptly stood. "And possibly try to console Colette since she's probably mortified by now."
"Aww, Sheena, you mean you won't let me tuck you in tonight?"
Sheena could almost feel her forehead twitch as she turned to glare at him, giving him his answer. "Good Night!"
Zelos smiled and called back, "night hun." He dropped his guise, frowning in the same instant that she turned away from him for good. Looking down at the water, he tossed his own stone across nature's mirror and sighed. "Dream for me Sheena, because I won't be sleeping tonight..."
--
There were times when the subconscious realm seemed so real, so convincing that she wouldn't truly know it was a dream until waking. Some were detailed and some were not. Then there were sequences that at times she thought were real, but even then, more often than not, something ridiculous would happen and that would define the dream.
Nightmares on the other hand, always remained a reality in the dark realm. It was a cold place, callous and empty, a place offering only hostility and strife to its visitors.
She could only make out faces and their forms, if there were platforms or pillars she couldn't seem them. There was no depth or height. But none such rational thought would cross her subconsciousness. All the pieces were in place, now it was time for the play to proceed.
Some distance in front of her, Sheena could see him standing there, his back to her with those celestial feathers erupting from his shoulder blades. His mouth moving over words that she couldn't hear, but she could still feel the sting of their intent.
"Zelos, why?" that was the only question she found herself speaking. There were so many questions, so many insults came to mind, but her jaw clamped shut, her throat constricted, and her eyes threatened to water. Why was he doing this? Why was he betraying her, betraying their friends? What could Yggdrasill have offered him to do such a thing? "Just give me one good reason, and I'll believe you!"
"That's really touching Sheena," Zelos replied through a bitter sneer. "Did Colette teach you that?"
Sheena felt her wrath boil from that statement. She didn't even hear Colette's plea to Zelos, nor Raine's admonition for the party to remain calm. She could only feel anger and betrayal, she could only hear her own voice swearing at him as she charged at him, intent on recompense.
She had nearly been upon him, prepared to retrieve Colette from him and give him a beating he would never forget. "Let's go lady Pronyma," after sounding those few final words, he vanished, along with Colette, and that said angel of Cruxis.
Shouting his name, Sheena let loose a horrid cry full of anger, frustration, and loss, she felt all of it and more. The world around her, which was dark to begin with, began to fall apart, her remaining companions fading.
Sheena jerked awake in bed, the sheets and blankets curled up in her fists as she caught her breath in a cold sweat. Then suddenly, before looking around, she felt as though she had just blacked out for mere seconds. It was a subtle feeling, she barely noticed it and promptly discarded the matter. As she sat up and looked around the room which she shared with Colette, she could see that the girl was still sound asleep in her own bed. That was odd, she thought she woke up crying out, surely Colette would have woken up as well, but then again maybe that had been just an illusion projected through the dream.
"Oh right, the dream," Sheena thought to herself, slipping out of bed and soon after, the bedroom. After stepping down the hallway, she came to a halt in front of the room Zelos and Genis shared. Slowly and carefully she opened the door enough to see Genis, out like a light, but with the sight of the other bed, Sheena's heart thumped, harder and faster. He wasn't there. Zelos wasn't there.
Leaving the door to hang ajar, Sheena took off down what remained of the hall and then made short work of the stairs. That dream, that nightmare had put a few doubts in her mind for sure, but the fact that he wasn't in his bed at this time of night, that just sent panic down her spine and throughout her limbs, and it was better not to even mention the overtime her heart was getting.
Outside it was dark, but the moon was full and illuminated the land for those that were unstable enough to even be out at such hours. From the doorway she could see his silhouette against the shining pool beyond him, the water reflecting the artificial rays of the parallel world above. She breathed a sigh of relief; He hadn't left after all.
As she stood there in front of the Inn, she contemplated approaching him, but she had accomplished what she set out for. Just to be sure he hadn't really abandoned them, that was enough for her, but when Zelos seemed to have either heard her or sensed her, he turned to look in her direction and waved his hand for her to join him.
"What's wrong hunny, beauty sleep eluding you?" he asked, offering a smile when she drew beside him.
"Had a nightmare..." She shifted her feet, anxious by the thought. She looked at him, hopeful. "Why are you out here?"
"My reasons are similar. Though I suppose you could call them a different kind of nightmare." He smiled warmly, though this time he aimed it at his reflection. For once, Sheena wished he would look at her, to see that smile. She couldn't put her finger on it, but he seemed unusually charming, and hadn't once made a degrading comment, nor even a vulgar glance. Maybe the full moon was throwing him off his usual rhythm.
"Zelos..." Sheena's eyebrows wrinkled, somewhat distraught. "You,.."
"Hm?" he gave her his full attention, a look of intent about him. "What's on your mind hun?"
"You're not planning on,.." she hesitated, her eyes dropping to the side feeling a bit guilty. A lot of good Colette's advice was doing. She wasn't able to show even just a sliver of faith in him, all because of some stupid dream. Although it wasn't like she was admitting Zelos was her important person, but she at least wanted to believe in him. She just wanted his reassurance so that maybe, just maybe, she might put her faith in someone, and possibly, someday gain that important person. "You're not planning on leaving us,.. are you?"
Taken back somewhat by the question, Zelos retreated a few steps, his eyes wide and and darting about wildly.
"Zelos, I'm sorry, I just- I had this dream, and you-"
"No, Sheena. I'm the one who should be sorry."
"Wh-what?" her voice cracked, panic started to set in after hearing him say that. "What do you mean?"
When he wouldn't reply or even spare her a glance, she grabbed his arm and shook him, demanding an explanation. "Zelos, tell me!"
From her view she could see the side of his face as his eyes closed in pain before turning back to her and touching his forehead to hers. "Sheena,.. I have to leave soon."
"No!" she cried, gripping his vest now. She didn't feel like she should have been this affected, but she couldn't argue with these emotions, not the tears that fell, the aching of her insides, nor her contorted features. She didn't let go of him either, she merely shook her head, denying the very thought of his betrayal. Because that's exactly what his words meant; he was leaving, to rendezvous with the enemy. "You don't! You don't have to leave!"
Zelos sighed, disheartened by what he would have to do. "I was hoping I could go before anyone woke up, so I wouldn't have to put any of you through all of this... Most of all you."
It occurred to her in that instant, this was all real, she couldn't deny it, he was really going to leave. "But you can't! If you go, you'll die! We won't have any choice, but to- but to..." She couldn't speak it, the tears were rolling off in streams now, with her voice wavering up and down dramatically. She was slightly surprised no one had woken up from all the fuss she was making, but her attention was quickly averted as Zelos detached her hold on him.
"Do me a favor," he started, placing one hand on her flushed, tear stained cheek. "Leave an hour behind the others tomorrow. I don't want you to have to see it."
"Please Zelos, don't do this!" She was pleading with him now, begging even as water refusing to cease from her brown orbs.
"Don't cry hunny, not for a worthless Chosen like me."
Sheena cried after him in response, clinging desperately to him when his blazing wings came forth from behind him. He started to ascend and gently pried her away for the second time, with a soft smile that did not fade, and sad eyes that betrayed the former's intent.
Sheena began shouting profanities at him, swearing at his name and title for leaving, for betraying the faith she so badly wanted to have in him, but he didn't come back. And when he disappeared altogether is when she collapsed to the ground in a helpless display, tears relentlessly continued carving their path down her cheeks.
--
The flight to the tower was a blur, Sheena didn't even remembered mounting her Rheaird, and barely processed the information that she had just dismounted. She looked up at the endlessly tall structure, standing at the entrance with the intent of entering.
She had done as he told her, and left the Inn an hour after the others. Of course, they had questioned her about her odd behavior, as well as Zelos' whereabouts. But she hadn't told them much, merely explaining vague details of her conversation with him the night before, then she returned to sulking in her misery.
Taking her first steps inside, Sheena took in a deep, scattered breath. She was attempting to make it a mind set not to cry anymore, not in front of the others. She had mourned him enough last night, and he was right, he surely couldn't be worth that much. As she made her way up the countless stairs, she found herself jogging, then running, soon enough she was all out skipping steps. She feared that if she slowed at all, it would allow a place for tears, because as she thought more about it, he really was worth it; he was worth a lot.
It took her a long time to catch up to them, but when she finally did reach the end of the staircase, she froze, mortified by sight as she took in all the unbelievable images. She couldn't say she hadn't been expecting something like this, but it was just so...Sad.
Her seven companions were here, six of them stood nearby, heads hanging dejectedly, none of them saying a word. Then there was that one, the one that always insisted on being different from the fold. The one that was not standing.
Lloyd's fists shook, his face a scowling mess, looking as though he was about to break down with tears himself. Colette was no better, sniffling and sobbing into the duel swordsman's shoulder. Raine and Genis both had identical expressions of loss, the boy's eyes welling up as his sister patted his back. Regal and Presea both had somber looks, neither feeling confident enough to console their companions.
"Ah, there she is," Zelos called weakly when he caught sight of her. That in itself was a miracle, his vision was dulling by the second. "My favorite hunny."
Sheena stepped closer at his greeting and somehow managed to curl her lip at his comment. "Sheena-!" The others quickly turned to her and Lloyd halted his instinctive step towards her when she held up a hand to stop him.
"No, it's fine, I... I knew this would happen," the ninja admitted sadly. She dared to glance at the man's body; as an afterthought she wished she hadn't. With multiple wounds all over, and one that appeared to have gone straight through his gut, the finishing blow she assumed. It occurred to her then, he was dying. Zelos Wilder was dying, right in front of her. And even now, he had a smile on his face. A smile he had saved for her, she guessed.
Her face broke from the mask she had worked up so hard, the confidence she had fortified so fervently. It was all for nothing now. She dropped her head to the side, unable to look at him, and sobbed, the waterworks once again breaking forth.
"Hey, I thought I told you," he spoke softly, raggedly. "Not to cry."
Sheena's entire body quaked with sobs, she so much wanted to embrace him, but she knew it would forever haunt her, his warm touch growing cold beyond her control. "S-so that's i-it then, you're just gonna leave like this, f-for good?"
She could feel the impact of her words on the rest of her companions, even with looking at them, she knew they were hurting as well.
"Don't worry Sheena," Zelos spoke with his final breath, using up the last of his life force to smirk. "There's hotties up in heaven too."
--
With his hand outstretched, the angel mouthed his incantation, being sure not to make a sound outside the summoner's window. Of course, that blond Chosen was an added annoyance too; it took him longer to cast it on both of them. Angel senses were certainly bothersome at times.
Both Sheena and Colette had sat upright in bed, now though, their eyes were dull and dazed due to the spell from outside. A moment later they both lay back in their respective beds, quickly fading back into slumber.
With a deep sigh of relief, Yuan stepped back from the window. He glanced around and, after spotting the small pond, crossed over to it. A dense fog was rolling in and that would be a good place to be if someone undesirable woke up. As he waited for a moment, he knew Zelos had sensed him just as Collete had, and so he wasn't at all surprised when the red haired swordsman emerged from the Inn.
"Greetings Chosen," said the blue haired man. "I trust you've made your decision by now."
"I have," Zelos answered flatly. "I'm betting my money on the winner."
Yuan smirked at his response, but, choosing not to press the matter any further, he changed tactics. "Well then, I wonder, just what exactly has changed your mind since your bargain with Pronyma?"
Zelos refused to reply, instead he crossed his arms and glanced away, somehow finding something more interesting to look at through the impossibly thick fog. "Could it be your companions?"
Again, the blue haired half-elf received no response, so he prodded again. "Perhaps you've acquired some new desire or purpose to live?"
This time Yuan received a side long glance, well, it was more of a warning glare, but far be it from Yuan to be shaken by such a minute intimidation. "Oh, I think I know." He appeared to be smirking, but since when did Yuan smirk? Even though it was still pretty dark, Zelos could see him hold out a hand to the scenery, as though he were a poet. "Love."
"Yeah," Zelos scoffed, flicking a hand through his red hair. "Like I'm gonna talk about this with another guy. Come on, is this all you came to do? If that's it then you can go." He made an annoyed shooing motion, already preparing to head back indoors.
"Very well," Yuan breathed a brief chuckle. "Be forewarned though, that spell won't last long once I leave. Oh and... That woman, the ninja, she seemed to be having some fairly disturbing dreams; tread carefully Chosen."
Zelos watched as the half-elf departed and quickly vanished with the darkness. He shook his head, wondering what that angel's true intent had been, but shrugged it off just as easy. He sighed soon after. Now he'd have to deal with Sheena waking up? Growling he irritably scratched his head. Yuan sure new how to make a bad day worse.
Bolting upright in bed, Sheena found herself gasping for air as her heart threatened to relocate from its proper place. She had apparently shouted something upon waking, because Colette also sat upright in her own bed, blinking in surprise and confusion alike. "Sheena, are you ok?"
The ninja was completely disoriented and she didn't reply. Instead, she nearly lunged out of bed, came close to ripping the door of its hinges, and almost tore another one down when checking Zelos' and Genis' room.
Genis had a similar reaction to Colette's, only he found himself on floor after jumping out of his bed when Sheena bulldozed her way in. "Sheena? What-?" She was gone, it was just like in her dream, Zelos wasn't in his room.
She stormed out the front door of the Inn, the dawn of the day was still young, and the fog impaired vision even further.
"'Tread carefully' he says," Zelos thought, pacing slightly as he hadn't moved from his place near the body of water. "Come on, Sheena can handle a few nightmares."
Sheena squinted, but the fog was thickest near the pond. She ran headlong for it, she didn't stop when she caught sight of him either, instead she barreled straight into the unsuspecting man, his red hair and pink attire soon drenched as the both of them met with the pool. His blue eyes went wide with shock, shortly before his brows twitched downward. "Sheena?" He was now sitting in six feet of cold, stagnant water. Least to say, it wasn't the most pleasant sensation so early in the morning.
"What in the world has gotten into you? Although I appreciate your enthusiasm, I have to say, this was not very well planned out." He managed to offer a sideways grin, but the wet and the cold was starting to get to him.
Elation would have hardly done any justice to what Sheena was experiencing. To her, it was like he had come back from the dead, and being completely drenched at the moment was probably one of the farthest things from her mind.
With the way her previous dream had seemed so real, so detailed and emotional, she was having a difficult time knowing whether or not she should believe anything at this point. So she thought about any contact she might have had. When he touched his head to hers, did she feel it? She honestly couldn't remember, but most likely her consciousness hadn't picked up something so rational. And that raised another question; was she rational now? She pondered about it for a bit and when the results returned to her, she was not at all surprised that the answer was no. No she was not rational and she rightly didn't mind the freelance feeling it gave her.
As Zelos attempted to get her to stand up with him, he was delightfully shocked when she, most accurately regardless of the current instability, gave him a kiss over his mouth to remember. If nothing else, it was memorable because shortly thereafter, back in the water they went.
Sheena idly wondered if he was experiencing the same delightful sensations as her. That warm radiance tinging every nerve in her body, regardless of the chilled atmosphere along with a certain release that she couldn't place. But it wasn't to last, she hadn't meant for it to. Her little experiment was a success; this was definitely reality world.
Afterward, Zelos could hardly contain himself and he grinned stupidly, almost completely forgetting about how cold and wet he was. "Ok, now I really appreciate your enthusiasm."
"And now that I've confirmed this is real, I'd like to dry off," commented the ninja as she worked at standing up.
"What was that anyway?" Zelos wanted to know, steadying her when she wobbled due to the slick floor of the pool.
Sheena laughed nervously, answering simply, "just, living in the memory?"
He had been about to reply, but when they were once again standing, he was finally able to give attention to her face, seeing as he had been much too distracted previously to even take note. "Sheena..." He nearly gasped as he looked her over. Her eyes were red and swollen, her face flushed. "Were you... Crying?"
Disregarding his question, Sheena put her own to him. "Zelos, tell me the truth. Tell me you're not really going to betray us." She glanced away for an instant, feeling that same pang of despair from the end of her dream. "Tell me you're not going to die!"
"What?-" Zelos felt beyond exposed by her outburst. How did she know what he had originally planned to do? He shook his head, dismissing the thought as impossible. He gripped her shoulders firmly and asked her sternly, "Sheena, what are you talking abou-"
"Just answer the question!"
"Alright, alright!" he whined and released her, his hands up defensively. "I'm not going anywhere, and I'm not leaving anyone Sheena. Most of all, not you." After placing his emphasis, Zelos set one hand on his hip, the other gestured as he added, "there, you happy now?"
Hearing those similar words, Sheena smiled at the contrast between the two worlds. She definitely preferred this version over the other. Reaching up and pulling his head down, she touched her forehead to his, making him blink stupidly and stand awkwardly in response. "Eh, Sheena, mind if I ask-?"
"Yes, I do, so just be quiet." She should have known he wouldn't understand, it wasn't like he had the details about her nightmares, or had even an inkling of the things his dream-self had done. Still smiling, Sheena knew that this important person, would never be gone.
"Right," Zelos replied, smirking as he held still, his clothes still dripping pond moisture. Barely a moment passed and he was whining again. "Could we by any chance continue this inside the Inn, after we change our clothes?"
Sheena sighed in defeat and released her ridiculous hold on him. "I guess, but only if you promise you won't leave." She wagged her finger as she walked away.
Zelos followed with a grin on his face and with his right hand, made a cross-my-heart sigh over his chest. With the left one though, he held behind his back, fingers crossed. "Promise."
Inwardly his countenance was a tortured mess. He sighed inaudibly and frowned when the ninja turned away from him.
For Zelos Wilder, some deceptions, just had to take place.
--
AN: This one-shot was written and dedicated to Faux Promises. If you're reading this Faux then I'm sure you caught the metaphor easy enough, you really are appreciated more than you think, so hang in there. Anyway, I hope all my readers enjoyed this, it was just a spur of the moment idea I had. And yes, both of Sheena's dreams were premonitions of the alternate paths, just thought I should clarify that in case someone was confused.