Bleachified musicals
*Lights flicks on in a rundown theatre and a spotlight shines on the middle of the stage where Kitty Petro stands smiling to the empty audience*
Kitty: Hello all my faithful viewers and watchers how are you all doing. A while ago I started reading a fanfic of a wonderful woman named C. Queen, who forced the characters of Bleach to sing Disney songs. The idea was so awesome that I decided to try it out myself, although I am very fond of musicals, so therefore I will use musical songs, I hope you will all enjoy.
*smiles evilly and snaps fingers, making several big cages (think really big bird cages) fall down in the audience, each cage containing a Bleach character scowling at the girl on stage*
Kitty: Ladies and gentlemen, your actors for the evening, and possibly the week
Soi Fon: Listen here you son of a bitch, let us loose now or else you will face the consequences.
Kitty: *smiles up at the riled Soi Fon* and what where you expecting to do? You are in a cage, I have all given you some nifty arm bands that keep's your reiatsu in check, and I have your Zanpaktou's so there isn't really anything you can do to me. Now control your temper Shaholin Fon before I make you enter stage first.
Urahara: *Blinks and smiles* Shaholin?
Soi Fon: Stuff it Urahara, before I hurt you
Kenpachi: *Sighs* I have a feeling we are all going to go to therapy at the end of these songs
Rukia: Can we just start this so we can get over whit it?
Kitty: Right you are Rukia, and I decided to start big so I need a lot of people for this *snaps fingers and Soi Fon, Matsumoto, Momo, Hiyori, Kiyone and Nanao appears behind several cages, dressed in black panties and bra's and lisle stockings.
In the side front Urahara, Gin, Hitsugaya, Shinji, Sentaro and Shunsui appears dressed in tight leather pants, nifty hats and jackets, and offstage Yoruichi, Lisa, Mashiro, Unohana and Kensei stands, dressed like the rest of the gang, The girls in panties and bra's and lisle stockings in dark red and black and Kensei in leather pants and a white top and a black hat.
And finally in the middle of the stage whit the spotlight in his eyes Ukitake appears in a tux, looking a bit uncomfortable.
Kitty: Now let's start, take it away Jushiro
Ukitake sighs but starts to talk as music starts in the background: And now the 6 marry murderesses of the Gotei 13 jail in their rendition of the cell block tango
Isane: *blinks and scowls down at Kitty who has sat down in the audience* I hope you are happy
Kitty: Of course I am. Popcorn? *offers a bag making Isane huff and look at the stage*
Behind the cages the girls starts to move and sing to the rhythm, their moves making some of the less courteous males get nosebleeds
Nanao: Pop
Rangiku: Six
Kiyone: Squish
Momo: Uh uh
Soi Fon: Cicero
Hiyori: Shinji
Nanao: Pop
Rangiku: Six
Kiyone: Squish
Momo: Uh uh
Soi Fon: Cicero
Hiyori: Shinji
Nanao: Pop
Rangiku: Six
Kiyone: Squish
Momo: Uh uh
Soi Fon: Cicero
Hiyori: Shinji
All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
Soi Fon *draws arm out of cage and points accusingly to the audience*: I bet you you would have done the same!
Nanao: Pop
Rangiku: Six
Kiyone: Squish
Momo: Uh uh
Soi Fon: Cicero
Hiyori: Shinji
Nanao *walks out of open door out to where Shunsui stands calmly*:
You know how people
Have these little habits
That gets you down. Like Shunsui.
Shunsui liked to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP.
*Shunsui gulps at the tone and looks her way*
Nanao *takes Shunsui in his hands and force him into a small seductive tango*:
So I came home this one day
And I am really irritated, and I'm
Looking for a bit of sympathy
And there's Shunsui laying'
On the couch, drinking' sake
And chewing'. No, not chewing'.
*forces Shunsui around fast*
Popping'. So, I said to him,
I said, "You pop that
Gum one more time..."
*She sighs and dries her glasses whit a free hand*
And he did.
*Stands firmly on the ground and forces Shunsui down by dragging on his arm, placing her high heeled boots right up into his face*
So I took the shotgun off the wall
And I fired two warning shots...
*Slides up whit her upper body, placing her hand behind his neck and draws out a red scarf and smiles*
...into his head.
All sings as Nanao dances, Shunsui trying his best not to get hurt by Nanao's heels:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had himself to blame
Nanao:
*nearly chokes Shunsui whit the scarf, forces him up from the ground and more or less kick's him off stage and walk off herself*
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I bet you would
Have done the same!
Matsumoto *steps out from the cages and walks up to an eerie calm Gin*
I met Ichimaru Gin from
Rukongai many years ago
And he told me he was single
And we hit it off right away.
*smiles seductively and lays a hand on his shoulder*
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, he'd come home, I'd
Fix him a drink, we'd have dinner.
*gets a good grip on Gin and throws him on the floor, sitting on top of him*
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my ass. Not only
Was he married
*Suddenly goes into a full split on top of Gin, both more or less face to face whit each other*
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
Night, when he came home, I fixed him
His drink as usual.
*She leans down brushing Gin's hair away from his face as if to kiss him, but drags up a red scarf from his neckline in stead*
You know, some guys just can't hold
Their arsenic.
Hiyori, Nanao & Kiyone
*sings as Matsumoto forces Gin up and into a tango, as Nanao and Shunsui joins them in their dance*
Hah! He had it coming
He had it coming
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!
All:
Pop,
six,
squish,
uh-uh
Cicero,
Shinji
Kiyone *walks out, her expression bordering on to the insane*:
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
Carving' up the chicken for dinner,
Minding my own business,
*Sentaro comes walking in and the two gets into the usual stare down contest, circling each other, Kiyone continuing her lyrics now and then thrusting her hips*
And in storms my husband Sentaro,
In a jealous rage.
"You been screwing' the milkman," He says.
*Kiyone and Sentaro closes in on each other, and Kiyone is suddenly in Sentaro's arms, one leg sliding up his side*
He was crazy
And he kept screaming',
"You've been screwing the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times..."
*Sentaro backs away as Kiyone get's a hold of the red scarf in the lining of his pants, dragging him back and forces him to dance together whit her and the other two pairs.*
All:
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I bet you would have done the same!
Momo: *comes walking out and does a few ballet moves, Hitsugaya appearing at her side dancing whit her as Momo talks.
(This is what the Hungarian lady is saying, translated to English)
What am I doing here?
They say my famous tenant
Held down my husband and I chopped his head off.
But it's not true. I am innocent.
I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it.
I tried to explain at the police station but they didn't understand."
Kiyone *smiles gently*:
Yeah, but did you do it?
Momo *shakes her head and draws up a white scarf from Shiro's neck*:
UH UH, not guilty!
All: (whisper)
He had it coming
He had it coming
Etc.
Soi Fon *comes walking out, and stops right in between Yoruichi and Urahara*
My wife Yoruichi and
I had this double act
And her friend Urahara,
Travelled around with us.
Now, for the last number in
Our act, we did 20 acrobatic tricks
*Soi, Yoruichi and Urahara places hands on each other's bodies as if it where pure routine*
one two three four, five...splits, spread eagles,
Back flips, flip flops,
One right after the other.
Well, this one night before the show
We were in the hotel Cicero,
The three of us,
Boozing' and
Having' a few laughs
When we run out of ice.
So I went out to get some.
* Soi walks away from Yoruichi and Soi, the two on the side of her*
I come back, open the door
And there's Yoruichi and
Urahara doing Number Seventeen-
The spread eagle.
* The spotlight shines on Yoruichi and Urahara, Urahara holding Yoruichi upside down, her head at his crotch, her legs split into a perfect split right at his face*
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
I completely blacked out.
I can't remember a thing.
It wasn't until later,
When I was washing the blood off my hands
*Soi opens her hands and a red scarf in both hands falls down before she grabs them*
I even knew they were dead.
*Soi starts to dance a strange tango, whit both Yoruichi and Urahara, her face livid (hmm wonder why?) as she continued to sing*
They had it coming
They had it coming
They had it coming all along
I didn't do it
But if I'd done it
How could you tell me that I was wrong?
Soi Fon *shove the other two away, as does the other girl and the 5 girls start doing a solo of their own on the stage, Soi in the middle singing strongest of all*
They had it coming
Rest:
They had it coming
Soi Fon
They had it coming
Rest:
They had it coming
Soi Fon
They had it coming
Rest:
They took a flower
Soi Fon
All along
Rest:
In its prime
Soi Fon
I didn't do it
Rest:
And then they used it
Soi Fon
But if I'd done it
Rest:
And they abused it
Soi Fon
How could you tell me
Rest:
It was a murder
Soi Fon
That I was wrong?
Rest:
But not a crime!
Hiyori *stands still as Shinji comes up from behind her, and drags her into a slow dance*
I loved Hirako Shinji
More than I can possibly say.
He was a real artistic guy...
Sensitive... a painter.
But
*Shinji goes away and walks next up to each person as Hiyori continued talking*
He was always trying
To find himself.
He'd go out every night
Looking for himself
And on the way
He found Lisa,
*Shinji drew a hand through Lisa's hair continuing walking*
Hiyori:
Mashiro,
*Shinji caressed Mashiro's cheek gently*
Retsu
*Shinji smiled and kissed Unohana lightly on the palm of her hand*
and Kensei.
*Kensei and Shinji shared a long look, before Shinji stopped and the others walked into the back, Hiyori coming up to Shinji again*
I guess you can say we broke
Up because of artistic differences.
*Hiyori took a good hold of Shinji's neck whit one hand, and drew up a red scarf from his neckline whit the other, and tried to gag him whit it fast*
He saw himself as alive
And I saw him dead.
All:
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
* All men runs away from the middle of the stage where all the girls gather to finish up the song*
The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum
Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto
They had it coming'
Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone
They had it coming'
Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto
They had it coming'
Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone
They had it coming'
Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto
They had it coming'
Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone
They had it coming'
Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto
All along
Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone
All along
'Cause if they used us
'Cause if they used us and they abused us
And they abused us
Nanao, Hiyori, Matsumoto
How could you tell us?
Soi Fon, Momo, Kiyone
How could you tell us that we were wrong?
That we were wrong?
All:
He had it coming
He had it coming
He only had
Himself
To blame.
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I bet you
You would
Have done
The same!
*The girls go back to their cell walls and behind them muttering one small line right before entering*
Nanao (Spoken)
You pop that gum one more time!
Matsumoto (spoken)
Single my ass.
Kiyone (Spoken)
Ten times!
Momo (Spoken)
I don't know why Uncle Sam says I did it.
Soi Fon (Spoken)
Number seventeen-the spread eagle.
Hiyori (Spoken)
Artistic differences.
Nanao
Pop!
Matsumoto
Six!
Kiyone
Squish!
Momo
Uh Uh
Soi Fon
Cicero
Hiyori
Shinji
*Cell door closing sound is heard and Kitty snaps her fingers, everyone back in their bird cages in their real clothes*
Kenpachi: *rubs his temples* Yup I where right, we are so going to need therapy when this is over
Kitty: Now wasn't that fun?
Soi Fon: *quick as lightning drags both her arms through the bars, trying to strangle Kitty while screaming like she wanted the entire world to hear her* I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, YOU GOD DAMN SON OF A… *Stops struggling as Kitty suddenly holds up Suzumebachi*
Kitty: Hey Soi I found this lovely tooth picker, you like it? *Soi says nothing* If you calm down I will give it to you when we are finished here, if you don't I will introduce Suzumebachi to a melting furnace is that understood?
Soi: *huffs but relaxes*
Kitty: Good girl *Suzumebachi disappears again* so anyone else want to share the experience?
Kiyone and Sentaro: *give each other a look, and shudder at the same time and looks away*
Kitty: Aw you two are so cute together, and you already argue like an old married couple so… *Kiyone blushes hard but says nothing, and Sentaro scowls*
Kyoraku: *rubs his shoulder from a fall on the stage* Ow, since when did our women become so blood thirsty?
Nanao: *groans* I'll tell you when I know; I just heard the song starting and had to dance and sing.
Gin: I got to say though, no complaints from my position *drools at the thought of Rangiku over himself*
Kitty: Very well then next song. *Snaps fingers and Ichigo, Rukia and Renji is on the stage, Ichigo in a tux, Renji in a dark robe and cape whit a mask covering half his face and Rukia in a pale pink dress whit a red cape* Ladies and gentlemen, here you have all I ask of you from Phantom of the Opera
Rukia a bit scared, as the music starts but relaxes as Ichigo steps up behind her and hugs her, making a rose Rukia was holding fall down to the ground, Renji watching from the background behind a stone horse.
Ichigo:
No more talk
of darkness,
Forget these
wide-eyed fears.
I'm here,
nothing can harm you -
my words will
warm and calm you.
Let me be
your freedom,
let daylight
dry -your tears.
I'm here,
with you, beside you,
to guard you
and to guide you . . .
Rukia *smiles and looks adoringly into Ichigo's eyes*:
Say you love me
every
waking moment,
turn my head
with talk of summertime . . .
Say you need me
with you,
now and always . . .
promise me that all
you say is true -
that's all I ask
of you . . .
Ichigo *hugs Rukia gently as he continues to sing*:
Let me be
your shelter,
let me
be your light.
You're safe:
No-one will find you
your fears are
far behind you . . .
Rukia *steps away from Ichigo, her expression a bit haunted*:
All I want
is freedom,
a world with
no more night . . .
and you
always beside me
to hold me
and to hide me . . .
Ichigo:
Then say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime . . .
Let me lead you
from your solitude . . .
*hugs Rukia again and sings loud and clear*
Say you need me
with you
here, beside you . . .
anywhere you go,
let me go too -
Rukia,
that's all I ask
of you . . .
Rukia:
Say you'll share with
me one
love, one lifetime . . .
say the word
and I will follow you . . .
Both
Share each day with
me, each
night, each morning . . .
Rukia
Say you love me . . .
Ichigo
You know I do . . .
Both
Love me -
that's all I ask
of you . . .
*They kiss and catcalls are heard from the audience, even some of the Bleach characters where enjoying this (except for Renji who looked away in disgust on stage and Byakuya in his cage wondering how to kill Kurosaki later on)*
Both:
Anywhere you go
let me go too . . .
Love me -
that's all I ask
of you . .
Rukia
I must go -
they'll wonder where I am . . .
wait for me, Ichigo!
Ichigo *walks off whit Rukia of to the back of the stage, singing softly*
Rukia, I love you!
Rukia
Order your fine horses!
Be with them at the door!
Ichigo
And soon you'll be beside me!
Rukia
You'll guard me, and you'll guide me . . .
They walk off and the spotlight shines now on Renji who walks out and takes up the rose on the ground, a single tear falling down on his cheek
Renji
I gave you my music, made your song take wing.
And now, how you've repaid me, denied me and betrayed me.
He was bound to love you, when he heard you sing.
(sobs)Rukia, Rukia.
Rukia and Ichigo *in the background continues to sing happily*
Say you'll share with me one love, one lifetime
Say the word and I will follow you
Share each day with me, each night, each morning...
Renji *is now livid in anger and makes the rose crumble in his hands standing up and sings loudly making everyone's hair stand on end*
You will curse the day you did not do
All that the Phantom asked of you!
Kitty: *smiles and snaps fingers again Ichigo, Renji and Rukia back in their cages* I am a sucker for mushy songs, thank you for doing that
Ichigo: As if we had a choice
Rukia: *groans* I can't believe we kissed
Byakuya: You two would do well to sleep whit one eye awake for the next year or so, just to have given you a fair warning
Ichigo and Renji gulps and Rukia looks worried over at her brother
Kitty: *smiles friendly ignoring Renji and Ichigo who tried to not look at Byakuya* Now then last song for the evening, hope you'll all enjoy *snaps fingers and Tatsuki and Orihime appears on stage, Tatsuki whit a green tint on her skin dressed in a black dress and a black witches hat, Orihime in a pink frilly dress and a tiara, her hair curled slightly whit a wand in her hand* And now, closing down for tonight we have Tatsuki and Orihime in a rendition of For good from the musical wicked. The floor is yours ladies.
Tatsuki *smiles and holds hands whit Orihime being a bit sad as she starts to sing*
I'm limited
just look at me I'm limited
and just look at you
you can do all I couldn't do
Orihime,
so now it's up to you
for both of us
now it's up to you
Orihime *smiles and sings too trying to make Tatsuki feel better*
I've heard it said
that people come into our lives
for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
and we are lead to those
who help us most to grow
if we let them and we help them in return
Well I don't know if I believe that's true
But I know I'm who I am today
Because I knew you.
Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
halfway through the wood.
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
but, because I knew you
I have been changed for good.
Tatsuki
It well may be
that we will never meet again
in this lifetime
so let me say before we part
so much of me
is made from what I learned from you
You'll be with me
like a hand print on my heart
Now whatever way our stories end
I know you have rewritten mine
by being my friend
Like a ship blown from its mooring
by a wind off the sea
like a seed dropped by a sky bird
in a distant wood
Who can say
if I've been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Orihime
because I knew you
Both
I have been changed for good
Tatsuki
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
for the things I've done you blame me for
Orihime
But then I guess we know there's blame to share
Both
And none of it seems to matter any more
Orihime
Like a comet pulled from orbit
Tatsuki
like a ship blown from its mooring
Orihime
As it passes a sun
Tatsuki:
By a wind off the sea
Orihime
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Tatsuki
Like a seed dropped by a bird
Orihime
Halfway through the wood
Tatsuki
in a wood
Both
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
I do believe I have been changed for the better
Orihime
And because I knew you
Tatsuki
because I knew you
Both
because I knew you,
I have been changed...
for... good
*Kitty snaps fingers and both girls are back in their cages*
Chizuru: Aw my little Hime was so cute on stage
Tatsuki: Watch it Chizuru before I hurt you
Kitty: And that's all for now, I hope you enjoyed yourself
Kira: Is she serious?
Kitty: Ah admit it; you are enjoying yourselves aren't you?
Hitsugaya: I'll admit that you are whacked in the head
Kitty: Keep it up Shiro Chan and you will be first up to sing a solo in the next instalment *Shiro Chan shudders and Kitty smiles* Now then people once again, I hope you have enjoyed yourself, if you have any wishes of songs and characters you want me to post, feel free to review and post them.