A/N: This is a story that tells us how Daryl and Carol's future has formed after he left with Merle and how it will affect everyone when they meet again after 2 years of being apart. What has changed between them and what has remained solid. Will they find their way to one another or will they remain in their current relationships. This is a new start for them. Or maybe the end of all they had and cherished. If there ever was anything to be savored. The Walkers are gone, the world survived, Fort Benning was the right choice long ago. Normality, safety, and regular lives wait ahead. Will they be able to confront them? Or will they face all the dangers and expectations of this new world alone?
The ray of bright light wakes you up. It is still so early, you know it, but your late nature provides you from sleeping long even though there is no watch to be held, no hunt needed, no danger to be kept at bay, no children to feed, no women to keep safe. For a second there you think: "What a damn release..no responsibility anymore, no one to make difficult choices, no one to boss me around, no one to look after..no one to care about." You open your eyes and take a glimpse of black curly hair on your pillow. "Well, no one to take care of, aside her...My anchor in this new, stupid version of the world."
Karen Palmer was your companion, soul mate, your guardian angel for almost 2 years now. The way the two of you have collided was sudden, intense and least expected. After you've left your initial group to go on a suicide trip or mission or whatever you'd call it, with your brother Merle, there were not many women you came across, but you've met some Woodbury citizens who abandoned their camp in search for better and safer guidance. Karen was one of them. She was smart, she was a quick learner and she never caused any trouble. The "3 musketeers" now, you, her and Merle finally left the haunted woods of southern Georgia and headed towards Fort Benning, a place where a guy you used to know in your other life, a guy called Shane Walsh wanted to go long ago..
The first days and weeks were tough. Merle was whining about not enough food, not enough fun on the road and not enough attention from either you or Karen. You suspected he might have tried something with her, she was one attractive chick after all, but as you were getting her better you knew, she wasn't a kind of girl out there for entertainment. She was calm, she was steady with weapons, she was quiet and rarely smiled. After weeks of exploring woods being just quiet, she finally broke and you watched her cry and lament over her dead son, Noah, who was just used by the Governor, pretty much like everyone else in Woodbury. You've had your own demons haunt you at that time. Most of them formed in a shape of a teenage boy and a dead walker girl, of an infant and a broken father, of a young couple and a crippled old man, of a tender woman with dark blue eyes, of promises you made and will not ever be able to keep...All of you shared horrors of this world, and you only had yourselves to cling to. You knew of course, at the second you reached for Karen's broken figure to hold her close looking for comfort yourself, you knew that it will be a mistake, that she is not the one to be held in your arms, that this is not your place and not your time. Not your family, not the one you keep in your heart. Your family, your beloved ones were left in this prison, now miles away. But Merle needed you and you needed him. Karen was just a side companion at first, and then she became more.
You remember the first night you made love with her. It was frantic, out of place and happened as a result of both of you crying over what and who you lost in the last years. That was the night Merle died too. His death wasn't dramatic or terrible per se. Everyone fought Walkers and he just got bit. He begged you to finish him off. You couldn't do it. Couldn't put a bullet in your brother's head even after all that's happened. So Karen did it for you. And after, she just held you after you collapsed in her arms, thinking of the other day when someone close and dear was put down, of that sunny day at Hershel's farm, of the night that followed a few weeks later and your dim words still in your head: "sorry Brother..". You liked to think you were merciful then. And so was Karen. So after, when she kissed you lightly, you returned her gesture with so much power, so much intensity, so much passion you had in yourself, that you thought this fire will burn both of you inside out. The sex was intense, it was delightful, it was spicy and fiery. But in the peak of your orgasm, in the moment that you thought was purely physical and achieved only 'cos both of you needed a release, in that moment you forgot yourself and in the heat of the moment you whispered to her ear the only word she never wanted to hear. "Carol...".
And now Karen laid in your arms again, night after night, only the world wasn't ending anymore, in fact it was rebuilding. You decided to come here after you heard a mysterious message on the radio, someone saying something about the answer to the infection. You decided to give it a shot. Of course, after Merle died you considered a trip back to the prison, to the place you knew, would welcome you with open arms. But there were several reasons for not doing that. First of all, they all probably were really upset with you leaving with Merle. You could imagine the regret and disappointment written on Maggie's and Glenn's faces. Hershel's preaching tone. Rick's welcoming smile but bitterness all over him. Carol's joy and happiness. That's what you were sure, you could never stand. Because you knew she would be delighted to see you again. But what if you showed up with Karen by your side? Oh, you were sure Carol would understand. She always did. But it would hurt her, it would break her heart. Although you never consciously analized her feelings for you, deep under your skin you knew, you always knew...another woman in your life will be a betrayal. On the other hand, you couldn't just abandon Karen. She took care of you after Merle, she was a good and loving person. And she loved you, you knew that. Did you love her? Not at first, no. But after months have passed, days and nights, your heart slowly opened for her and now she offered you more than just her body. She offered you peace. A chance to start over. And even though it was a life without the original Atlanta group, without Rick, Hershel, Lil'Asskicker, without Carol and all the others...maybe it was worth to give it a shot? After you left the prison with Merle, you knew you were a lost cause for all of them anyway.
And trying to love Karen made things easier. Once in your life you felt the pressure of responsibility was taken off your back when you were with her. And whatever it was that you gave to her, she seemed to be pleased with it.
Even if once in a while, in the steamy heat of the night you called her Carol.