Disclaimer:
Naruto's not mine, the recipe's not mine, Pepsi's not mine.
Now, you happy? Good.
Pairing:
NaruSaku
Warning!:
An intensely moronic Naruto. Seriously. If you can't stand utter
idiocy, then I suggest you better hit the back button.
Bake
to Perfection
by
pin0ts
"H-how about a b-bouquet of flowers w-with a stuffed t-toy?" The Hyuga heiress suggested.
"No. That's not special enough." The Uzumaki found himself say. Here he is, on Christmas Eve, at the Hyugas, asking for advice from Hinata, because until now, he doesn't have anything to give to her girlfriend.
"Why d-don't you m-make something for h-her?" She isn't one to complain, but she's starting to get dizzy from all the pacing Naruto's doing.
The blonde stops and faces the heiress, intrigued, "Like what?"
She looks up in thought, "M-maybe a card, o-or a portrait, or b-bake something, or c-cook dinner."
"YEAH! I'll bake a cake!" From serious to ecstatic, Naruto definitely have no problems in shifting emotions. He's now jumping up and down, again making Hinata dizzy. "But there's one problem, I don't know how to bake."
The white eyed woman flashes her friend an assuring smile, "It's r-really easy. You j-just have to f-follow the instructions."
"This is an absolutely delicious, no-fail chocolate cake." Naruto reads. He looks at the recipe Hinata gave him. She offered assistance, but he dismissed her. Besides, how hard could this be? He'll just have to follow instructions, right?
'1 cup butter, 2 cups white sugar, 2 eggs… ' He places the ingredients on the kitchen table, a smug look on his face, 'I'm off to a good start.'
'1 cup buttermilk… buttermilk?' He got a mortar and pestle, the butter and milk. He pours milk on the cup, and started to grind the rock hard butter, then mixed them together. He grins, 'A good ninja always knows how to improvise.'
'1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder… 1/2, so it's either 1 or 2 cups. Unsweetened? Shouldn't chocolate cakes be sweet?' The struggling, though he won't admit it, Uzumaki got some powdered chocolate milk, and poured it in two cups. 'The sweeter the better. Besides, who'd want to eat a non-sweet chocolate cake?'
'2 1/2 cups all-purpose flour… What's with the Math? Why didn't they just say 2 or 4 cups? I think I'll just use 2, I might run out of cups here.' As said, Naruto gets two cups filled with all purpose flour.
'2 teaspoons baking soda… Teaspoon, what's that again? Is it the bigger or the smaller one? Teaspoon, tablespoon… Oh! Tables are bigger than teas, so it's obviously the smaller one! I don't think I have baking soda, BUT Pepsi would definitely be a good alternative!' So the blonde got the smallest spoon he has, then poured it in the teaspoon. 'Oh crap, now where do I put this?'
He shrugs and sipped it, 'I'll just pour it later.' He places the teaspoon beside the bottle of Pepsi.
'1/2 teaspoon or salt… I don't think Sakura would like too much salt in her cake. A teaspoon would be enough.' Again, he placed the teaspoon beside his jar of salt.
'And lastly, a cup of water…' The Uzumaki put the last of his needed ingredients on the table, pumping his arm in the air, 'I'm almost done! YEAH!'
'Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C)…' He sets the oven to 175 degrees Celsius, 'Well, this is easy…'
'If using layers grease and line the pans with parchment paper. If using a 9 X 13 pan, grease and dust with cocoa powder… I don't have parchment papers, so I'll just do the second one. Grease? That's not in the ingredients!' He sighs, 'I guess I'll just have to leave that one out.' He got the pan and sprinkled his improvised cocoa powder, until every inch is covered.
'Sift together the cocoa, flour, baking soda and salt… Sift? Is that even a word? Maybe it meant mix. Yeah, I bet it's mix.' He got a bigger bowl and 'sifted' the remaining powdered chocolate milk with flour, salt and Pepsi.
'Set aside.' And set aside he did. 'So, what's next?'
'In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy… How the hell do you cream? Whatever. I'll just mix until it becomes fluffy.' Naruto mixed, and mixed until his arm hurt. 'Ugh. I give up. Next procedure.'
'Beat in the eggs one at a time. Alternately beat in the flour mixture and the buttermilk, mixing just until incorporated… Are you kidding me? What the hell is this thing talking about? How do you alternately beat? What's incorporated? Gah!' Naruto got a huge bowl and just placed everything, the eggs, without shell, mind you, the all purpose flour and his extemporized buttermilk. Again, he just mixed them all together.
'Add the boiling water and beat for one full minute… Ugh. Now I have to boil water.' He went out of his way and got the kettle, and boiled some water. Not knowing how much to put, he got a cup and poured three. Three's a nice number.
'Bake in the preheated oven for 30 to 40 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center of the cake comes out clean… Yes! 40 minutes of rest and relaxation!' He shoved the pan with everything mixed in to the oven, set the timer, and went to go watch TV.
Forty minutes later, 'Allow to cool.' He didn't bother with the toothpick. Too troublesome, as Shikamaru says. Itching to finish, the Uzumaki got the pan and again, shoved it in the refrigerator.
He smiles to himself, "All done!"
Sakura opened the door and looked around. 'Strange,' she thought, 'I'm sure some rang the—' Then she saw a medium sized box with a red and green ribbon on her doorstep. She picks it up and smiles as she read the orange card at the side,
MERRY CHRISTMAS! You get to be the first to taste the super chocolate-y NaruChoco Cake! – Naruto
Poor Sakura. If only she knew how much Naruto improvised to get the cake done.
Author's Ramblings: It's 1:13 AM. Heh. I just finished writing Filial Piety's 2nd chapter so while I'm waiting for my mom, I wrote this. Seriously, I've never baked before. Never. I don't know how to cook either. But anyway, I just had to write this.
And a big MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone! I know, I'm 4 days late, but who cares? Hehe. Anyway, All those who review gets a slice of the Super Chocolate-y NaruChoco Cake! Now who'd want to miss that?