A/N: I'll put up a website soon with character art and profiles on it. I'm not all that great at giving character descriptions within the actual stories. I have to work on that!

Also, please note that the "Kale" in this story is not "Commander Kale" who can be found in Dragoness Eclectic's fan fiction. They're two separate Saiyans who've been named after the same vegetable. :D

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Dragonball Z or any of it's characters. I do, however, own Kale, Tarrock, and all their random conversations. :)

Last but not least, I suck at coming up with planet names. So I apologize for that!

Elimination Games

By FinParis

Chapter I: Returns

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"Check it again!" Demanded the Saiyan in his usual rough voice. There was a pause followed by a few beeps as the taller Saiyan clicked his scouter twice, then shook his head.

"It's reading right, Kale. You're at 2,200 units." Tarrock said. He regarded his friend with an amused sort of look. Kale had a fierce obsession with his battle power, even for a Saiyan.

"Three days on this pathetic planet and I've barely gone anywhere," he scoffed, kicking at a bit of jagged rock that sat at his boot.

"Maybe the clue lies in the adjective," chuckled Tarrock. "This planet was barely a challenge. Pick something harder next time. But… maybe not as hard as Gurek. That was a little more than ridiculous, even for us." He referred to the time Kale had gone after a planet better suited for first class warriors. The two of them, being considered only second class, had been on the god forsaken dust pile for two weeks, and they still had barely made it out alive. They had completely purged it of it's inhabitants, of course, but they had spent time in the rejuvenation tanks of Vegetasei for their trouble.

"If you don't remember, my battle power spiked higher than Vegeta's hair after that incident," remarked Kale, and Tarrock looked thoughtful.

"Prince Vegeta's hair? Or King Vegeta's hair?" He asked. "I'd say it was closer to the prince's. His seems more like the size of a spike in battle power after purging Gurek. The king's hair is probably a bit closer to what you'd be like after fighting on Kyuuk."

"And I guess that would mean that Raditz's would be somewhere around fighting Frieza himself," added Kale, referring to the hair of a big Saiyan that they both knew. The two men laughed. Such conversations weren't uncommon in their daily lives, though they didn't always revolve around hair. Once they had broken out into an all out brawl over who had looked better to eat, Dodoria or Kiwi. Kale had thought it would be Dodoria, saying that the fact that he was pink gave him a more appealing and appetizing look. Tarrock had felt that the spiky nature his body, however, was something that the pink just simply didn't make up for.

Kale raised his hand to his own scouter, surveying the planet for any life that might have escaped them. He also had a fierce obsession with his scouter. Once, Tarrock had challenged him to go thirty-two hours, a day, without wearing it, but he hadn't managed to. He found that he felt naked and vulnerable when it was gone, even on his own planet. "Well, we're finished here," he said, clicking his scouter to sleep once more.

"Good. Let's get off this rock. I'm bored."

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The male Saiyans off of Vegetasei generally came in two sizes: tall, and huge. Kale and Tarrock represented both of these selections. Kale was somewhat shorter and thinner than his counterpart, and his build was leaner. Although his height was considerable compared to most alien races, he measured up quite a bit smaller than the Saiyans of the larger variety. Tarrock on the other hand towered over Kale by nearly a whole head and a half, and was almost twice his width. Their hair, as was the case for most Saiyans, was spiky and unruly, and although it could come in a wide array of colours, both of theirs (as was most common among their race) was coal black, like their eyes.

The trip back from the planet they had purged was short, and so they had remained awake for duration of it (it was common practice that, should the journey be a long one, the travelers would be put into a chemical induced sleep to avoid their eminent boredom which could lead to agitation, along with a large selection of other problems which were especially dangerous for Saiyans traveling in confined spaces). Communicating over their scouters, the range of topics they had touched on through their trip included battle power, foreign women, the limits of expandable armour ("So, if you stuffed all the Saiyans on Vegetasei into one set of armour, it would hold every single one of them?" "Kale, when they say 'one size fits all', I don't think that's exactly what they had in mind."), and whether or not Seporu, a large Saiyan of their acquaintance, could eat more than his twin brother Serori.

As their pods crashed into the landing mats of the spaceport and the two men climbed out, they were greeted by no one, as was the way with second (and third) class Saiyans. Had it been someone of the royal court or guard, generally there would be some greeting party, the size of which depending upon how important the person actually was.

"Let's get a drink," Tarrock suggested, and Kale nodded. There was a tavern just off of the spaceport they had landed at anyway. The two Saiyans cast their eyes over their surroundings before entering the complex; orange clouds set in a scarlet red sky, black earth, and buildings skewering the horizon. It was exactly as they had left it.

The bar, too, was exactly as they had left it; somewhat crowded, with a form of hard music playing in the background, completely ignored by the occupants, mostly male but some female, who talked and laughed rowdily. In one corner sat an upturned table, upon which a man who clearly had too much to drink had collapsed. Kale surveyed the room briefly.

"Ah, home. In all the universe, there's nothing quite like it." They ordered their drinks and shoved some half-conscious patron out of his seat, taking the table for their own. "So tell me," started Kale. "If the King's hair is like fighting on Kyuuk, the Prince's hair is like fighting on Gurek, and Raditz's hair is like fighting Frieza himself, what would Nappa's hair be the equivalent of?" Nappa was one of the King's commanders, and a first class Saiyan. Although the big man was rarely seen by the lower class warriors, his small (and fading) tuft of black hair was rather infamous among them.

Before Tarrock could answer, a large man with a huge mane of thick, black hair and sharp, angular features approached their table. "I see you're back," said Raditz, who had overheard his name. "And what's this about me?" He seated himself with his two friends.

"Your hair, Raditz," corrected Tarrock. "We were wondering how long it takes for you to wash it. Or does all the time you spend in the rejuvenation tanks do it for you?" It was a joke, and Raditz laughed sarcastically. "Anyway, what have you been up to?" Tarrock continued. "We heard you got in a bit of trouble just before we went off-planet."

Raditz's eyes narrowed slightly and his tail twitched. "Yeah. I got a little… 'rowdy' in here and on my way back to my quarters I bumped into the illustrious Commander Nappa himself. We exchanged a few heated words and--"

"Oh, what a pleasure!" Interrupted Kale. "Tell me, is the ponce's hair just as wonderful as we've all heard?" Raditz nodded.

"So, what you're saying, Raditz," remarked Tarrock before the other big Saiyan could continue, "is that you achieved new heights and records of 'wasted' in here, stumbled out into the public streets, ran into Nappa, and tried to pick a fight with him using slurred vulgarities? Then, let me guess, he kicked your ass straight into the ground and that was the end of it."

"Something like that," was the mumbled reply.

"That's what happens when you drink your inhibitions away," laughed Kale. "The barbarian Saiyan comes out in you." Although he was right, it was only half true. A lot of the time Saiyans didn't have to be drinking for their barbaric side to surface. The truth was that they loved to fight, even when it wasn't necessarily the right thing to do. It was also common practice among their race to fight with good friends. "Sounds like you and the Commander could hit it off. Get to like each other, if you're having friendly spats already," he joked.

"The day I find myself willingly grouping up with that bastard, even if we're the only Saiyans left in the universe, is the day I die by the hand of a Namek." The thought of Raditz willingly hanging out with Commander Nappa was good, but the thought of a Namek, one of the most peaceful races in the universe, killing a Saiyan was even better. The three of them laughed from the simple absurdity of it.

Silence befell the table, though, as Kerdin, a medium sized, bi-coloured man with two horns walked in, along with four of his pals. As though he had a homing device, he found Kale and Tarrock almost immediately and sauntered over, tailed by the rest of his party. Without invitation he sat down at their table. He was one of Frieza's men, and could sometimes be found on Vegetasei though for what reason Kale could hardly guess. From the moment they had met, Kale and Kerdin had butted heads and spat insults at each other.

"What do you think?" Kale asked in the native language of Vegetasei, which consisted of sounds from the throat and hard consonants. "Which one of their heads do you think you'd be able to throw the farthest?" Tarrock considered the question for a second, and Raditz just shook his head. These sort conversations cropped up a lot between the two of them, and he had long ago just decided to listen with amusement rather try and figure out what exactly was going on.

"The bluish, drooling one," Tarrock replied in the same fashion of language, referring to a tall blue alien in the back, whose pointed teeth were so large they caused him to wipe his mouth every few minutes. "His head looks the lightest."

Although he didn't know what had just been exchanged between the Saiyans, Kerdin scowled. It was a language that native Saiyans alone knew, which had no written form.

"So," said the bi-coloured man smoothly. "You've finally come back from that shit hole you went to. How long were you gone? Three days?" His small group laughed and Kale's tail lashed out suddenly, despite the calmness of his face. The damn thing was always giving him away, he thought. Kerdin smirked cockily. "Surely two great Saiyans like yourselves didn't run into trouble on a pathetic planet like that?" He mocked.

"That planet was infested and overpopulated with vermin, sort of like yours, Kerdin," said Tarrock. "Naturally, the clean-up process took a little longer than expected. I'm sure you can relate. Like that time you brought that insect species home with you."

Both Kale and Raditz smirked. On a mission, Kerdin had somehow acquired an infestation of a type of insect which nested itself on living beings, causing the host to have intense itching over his body. It had taken him days of treatment in solitary confinement to finally purge his body of the vermin, longer than they had initially expected it would. Like Nappa's hair, it was a somewhat infamous story among the Saiyans.

"Bastard monkey!" Hissed Kerdin, keeping a wary eye on the rest of the occupants of the bar. The drunken apes weren't the best people to pick a fight with, and even he wasn't stupid enough to allow himself to be found in that situation. Kale nearly stood up, his tail lashing.

"Let's finish this. Right here, right now." He offered angrily.

Kerdin just shook his head, his composure returning. "You want me to fight you here in this roomful of monkeys? That's not fair at all, is it?"

"What are you suggesting, then?" Kale said through grinded teeth. There were no smirks among the three Saiyans now.

"Well, why not a planet purging contest?" One of the smallest Saiyan's eyebrows raised.

"A 'planet purging contest'?" He repeated.

"Three planets. Let's say… ten days to finish. The first one to rid their planets of life is deemed the winner. Even a monkey as stupid as you can understand that." Kale's tail wrapped itself around his waist to avoid lashing out again. "We'll pick the first three planets in the database, whatever level they are. That way it's nice and fair." Something about the horned-alien's manner was suggesting that Kale shouldn't take the bet, but the anger flaring up inside the small Saiyan convinced him to do otherwise.

"Fine. We'll do it," he said coldly. Tarrock nodded, giving his consent although it hadn't been asked for. "But it's still not fair," he pointed out. "Your party's number comes to five all together. There's only two of us."

"Three," corrected Kerdin, "if you take that ridiculous mass of hair with you." He gestured to Raditz as he said it. "But wait, I forgot. You're only a pathetic third class monkey, aren't you? The clock starts tomorrow." He laughed as he turned and left the tavern, the rest of his group following him out with chuckles of their own.

"Tomorrow?" Tarrock looked at Kale. "How do you plan on putting together a team by tomorrow? Today's almost over."

"Well, I'm going. That's one. So are you. That's two." He turned his attention to Raditz, who nodded with a shrug.

"I might as well go too," he said.

"Bardock is strong for a third class," Tarrock said, referring to the long haired Saiyan's father. "What about him?"

"Bardock's off-world," was the reply, "purging a planet with his own team."

"Well, Serori and Seporu would give us five," Kale remarked about the twins. "And their not terrible fighters, either."

"Just one problem there," replied Raditz. "They're both in 'tanks for the next day or so. They got back a few hours before you two did, looking none too pretty."

"What about that big guy you spar with sometimes, Tarrock? Kishan, isn't it?" Although Kale considered Kishan to be a 'big guy', he wasn't quite as tall as either Tarrock or Raditz.

"If I can find him, I'll ask him. I'll do that now. Why don't you two check into the database and see what we've got to work with? Judging from that bastard's tone of voice, I figure he's played with it somehow and given us a bad deal."

"Kishan… I think I saw him in the training hall, in the wing adjacent to this one not too long ago, actually," said Raditz. On Vegetasei there were several spaceports, each housed in their own huge, multi-level complexes which also contained training facilities, cafeterias, space pod storage, medical centres, taverns, and other facilities that were deemed necessary by Saiyans. In the first class complexes there were also quarters so that the stronger warriors would always be on hand, should they ever be needed for an emergency off-world mission, or anything along those lines. The second and third class Saiyans didn't have such a thing in their spaceports, but had other public housing units in designated parts of the planet. Typically, a Saiyan would stick to his own complex, creating a sort of large community where everyone generally knew each other.

"All right," replied Tarrock. "I'll meet you in the data-room." With that the three of them stood, weaving their way through the loud, drunk Saiyans and out of the tavern. Kale and Raditz turned and went down the left side of the hall while Tarrock went right, towards the training facilities.

Reaching the data-room required the two Saiyans to travel up a few flights of stairs and one lift, then down a long, narrow hallway. Upon arrival, Kale pressed the button to the right of the door and the data-room opened up to them, allowing them to walk in. The door promptly shut behind them with a familiar swish. There were a few Saiyans cast about the room at smaller computer stations, as well as a number of aliens who ran the room, keeping all the information in order. These aliens also ran the medical centres, and it was often Frieza who supplied them to the Saiyans from his numerous bases. They came in an assortment of shapes, sizes and colors, and none of them were very strong (usually they had devices on their hands which shot ki for them, since they couldn't manage on their own.)

As Raditz and Kale approached the largest computer station, one such alien approached them. He had a tan colored skin and a white beard and hair. Kale was a good deal taller than him, and Raditz simply looked like a giant. He wore the typical armour which was most common, except his was paired with a long, white mantle, which usually signified a non-fighter.

"Can I help you with something?" He asked, gesturing to the large computer.

"We want the first three purging planets listed as open on the database," said Kale.

"Three? Why three?" He looked somewhat suspicious. There had already been a request earlier that day for the first three planets, which was unusual. Now two Saiyans came in requesting the next three.

"Because," replied Kale, "we want to get off this complex for a good while and let loose. We don't care what damned planets we get, we just want three," he snapped. Other occupants of the room glanced over at the raised voice, and the man before them cowered slightly, then promptly got to work with calling up the first three available planets in the system. He knew what sort of tempers the Saiyans had after years of dealing with them, and this particular one seemed like he really did need to purge three planets to let off some stress. He wasn't going to argue with that, if it would keep him unharmed.

Kale just gave an amused smirk to Raditz, unseen by the frightened technician.

"There you are," said the man, returning his attention to Kale and Raditz. "The first three planets." The two Saiyans looked up at the big screen to read the list. Kale had never heard of the first two before, 'Rhuk' and 'Tenzein', two second class planets, but the last one caught his eye. Listed as first class was 'Kyuuk'. He scowled, which frightened the technician further.

"I can always change it and find you something more suitable!" He said hurriedly.

"No!" Growled Kale. "I said I wanted the first three planets available, didn't I? Now list them under Kale." The technician fell silent as he went to the task at hand. Once, finished, Kale continued. "Now, tell me. Did a 'Kerdin' come in here looking for planets before us?" The technician nodded. "Which ones did he ask for?"

"The same as you," he said, unsure of where this was going. "The first three on the list."

Kale narrowed his eyes a little. So apparently Kerdin was playing by the rules, so far. "Fine. Give us the coordinates of our planets, old man, and we'll leave." The technician complied, quickly saving the requested data to a small, square chip, dropping it into Kale's outstretched hand. As the Saiyans left, they met up with Tarrock and a tall, brown-haired warrior who they knew to be Kishan.

"Kishan's along for the ride. I've already explained everything to him on our way up here. Did you see a technician?" Asked Tarrock. Kale nodded.

"Yeah. I asked if Kerdin had been in, and he said yes. He also said that he had requested the first three purges available. I didn't bother to ask which ones he got." It struck all four Saiyans as odd that Kerdin hadn't tried to arrange the picking of the planets.

"Maybe he really does just think he's better able to do it than we are, so he didn't bother to fix anything," Tarrock suggested.

"Or maybe the bastard got three third class planets and figured he didn't have to," Kale countered bitterly. It seemed more likely. "We should go to the pod station and get our coordinates set up for tomorrow. I've got the chip."

"So where are we going?" Asked Kishan as they set off down the hall. His voice was deep and steady in contrast to Kale's husky one.

"We got 'Rhuk' and 'Tenzein'," Kale said, the words unfamiliar in his mouth. "And the King's hair planet," he added over his shoulder, and Kishan gave Tarrock an odd look.

"The what?"

"Kyuuk."

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To be continued

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