Chapter 1: Home Base

Dear Dairy,

I have blamed myself for so much of this shit. A crappy job, my fault. A shitty marriage, my fault Well this blame game ends now. I am embarrassed to explain it to everyone, but they have to know. I am not lying anymore. It is pretty transparent now: young loved died.

Sincerely,

Sakura

Sakura sat out looking at the snow dissolved into rain on the window pane. She was at Tomoyo's place and she knew the honey milk tea was not the alcohol that she wanted, but the hot drink was something that she needed. She looked at Tomoyo as her eyes moved sideways and her month remained tight as if she wanted to say something. She could tell she was worried and Sakura knew she looked like a mess. She felt like her breathe was hot with stink. Her hair felt heavy with grim of the days without washing, and she knew that the shirt and jean combo she had been wearing was beginning to stretch. She did sleep in it for the last 3 days because she was trying to rush the move. And She knew she was a sight to see. "Sakura, could you please tell me how it all happened."

Three Months Ago:

Sakura still was pacing the floor in her apartment looking at the phone screen. She read the text again. He really texted: "Sorry babe, I won't be able to make it tonight my wife has planned something, but I'll be thinking of you all night long" at the end of the message was a wink kiss emoji. The words that made hear heart clench 'babe' and 'wife'. These words do not mix. She was his wife. It clearly was not a message for her.

Before her mind could catch up her fingers were tap dancing on the screen. "Who the fuck is babe, aren't I your wife?" Sakura continued to think of all the possible women—his secretary, Maho's teacher, a PTA mom, who always winked at him, or a random barista? She looked at the time stamp and realized it had been fifteen minutes. No answer. Then her phone began to buzz with his name across the phone.

She answered. "Who is babe, Lian?"

"Hello Sakura, how are you?" The voice on the other line sounded steady like it was another phone call.

"Hello, I am good." She let the pause continue.

"Sakura, I know you got the text I sent, it was meant for Asami."

She looked at the phone as if it slapped her. Her mind went blank

Who the fuck is Asami?

"Who the fuck is Asami?" Sakura was excepting some explanation like: oh no my friend used my phone to text his girlfriend, someone hacked my phone, or I got the wrong phone number. Hell, maybe this wasn't Lian on phone. However, he made it clear.

"She's my girlfriend, we met at work during a business trip and have been dating for six months and I want to be with her." Sakura clutched the phone tighter. "I am leaving you, I'll get my stuff tomorrow and we can talk about divorce and custody later. Good night." And he hung up.

Present:

"So, have you and him talked since then?" Tomoyo stop the replay of her marriage breaking down. She shook her head no because she made sure not to be there as he took more than half the things in the apartment. If you count small talk about her father's condition, Maho, or through lawyers than no, there was no conversations on the big topic at hand: their marriage, the divorce, or Assami. Now, it wasn't clear to her before that damn text message that her marriage was over. And it was embarrassing to say the least. A break up through text, wasn't that reserved for teenagers, not grown adults?

It was not until now that she had given Tomoyo the full story. She avoided the topic all together, or simply explained it as a temporary separation—to quiet the alarm bells in all her friends' head. However, it was plain as day that divorce was inevitable. No man posts photos of his new woman within a month of making the big declarations of a divorce to friends, family and the like was willing to work things out. So, it took her two months, after crying over the photos, re-checking the social media post, and sending him the emails to declare her love, her willingness to forgive and work things out that got no response that she decided to tell the full story.

"We talk about anything, but the divorce or that Asami. We only talk about Maho, his missed time with her, or child support. It was his bitch of a sister that told me about his engagement to Asami and their upcoming Bahamas nuptials. She even sent pictures of Asami's ring and the family smiling together." It was officially over. His new marriage was set for a year from now. Nothing says, not going to happen when your husband marries someone else—you're officially the first wife after that.

She was excepting Tomoyo to be angry that it took her this long, plus angry that it took her moving in with her in large Tokyo apartment with Maho. However, as she read Tomoyo face get stony over her comments, it was clear she was mad at everyone but her.

"Okay, so he's a dick and she's a slut. What about Maho?" Sakura looked over at the four-year-old girl that was clearly more enthralled in the cartoons in the other room. She had left her half-eaten carrots in a little pink bunny bowel on the counter.

"She knows about the divorce, has apparently met Asami and her family on occasion when it was supposed to be them two only, but she does not know how much we're struggling. It seems that Asami treats her nice from Lian's side, but I doubt it." Sakura looked back at the little girl and frown. It was not supposed to be this hard. It was supposed to be the three of them together against the world.

"Well, how does she act around her?" Sakura shrugged she only learns after the outings that this has happened, and as Meiling told her, there is nothing legally she can do. Assami is not a killer, a pedophile, or a drug addict: she was a woman that swooped in a took her husband. Morally bankrupt? Yes. Illegal? No. She isn't a completely awful person for children everywhere, just awful to marriages. But, she couldn't care about the moral character of a woman, when divorce hit her bank account badly. There is damn near nothing left. With Maho and her daily expenses, lawyer fees, her daddy's conditions, this move to Tokyo killed her savings.

"Sakura, did Meiling tell you were a sure thing for the job with her cousin?"

Sakura began playing with her hands. Leaving their hometown was selfish—she did not really want to face anyone that knew her or Lian. She came to Tokyo with a sketch of a plan, not a full detailed blueprint, but it was a change she needed. The sympatric faces from the daycare teacher and the other moms was overbearing. moms that barely knew her asked her such personal questions like:

Are you doing okay?

Does Lian come a visit?

I heard that Lian left you for another woman, what is she like?

They would be too nice and invite her places. She had avoided so many "wine down mom dates." And the worst were the appropriate words of encouragement during the "this truing time."

If I were you I would be so lost.

You are so brave with starting over, but if we didn't have darkness there would be no stars.

You know its always darkest before the dawn.

You need to have rain and sunlight for a rainbow.

All some next level bullshit.

The final straw was three weeks ago. It was only one and a half months after life as she knew it had crashed and she found herself sitting in a too small room with her ex and Assami trying to enjoy a preschool play on the solar system. She was watching play, but she knew everyone else was watching the drama of her ex, his whore, and her all in the same room. And it was not refreshing to see the phoenix that was Lian and Assami cuddling, being loud, and taking pictures with a confused Maho in a planet Mars costume (that they did not help with). That was the moment she realized that life wasn't normal or going back to normal. but half-assed plans wasn't a solution.

"No, she simply said he is looking for someone to work under him: a secretary. I am going to interview directly with him in three days. Then I will know if I have the job." Sakura saw Tomoyo read her face up and down.

"Well, we're going to make sure of it." Tomoyo's sing song voice filled the room. And Tomoyo's warm smile could really change her mood. She was glad to have someone like Tomoyo in her life. Someone who always had her back, respected her, and loved Maho. Sakura musing halted as Tomoyo said her name. She turned to her smile so gently, "Sakura, if you don't bathe, brush your teeth, and kill this interview on Monday, I am going to kick you out." Sakura looked doe-eyed—honto? Tomoyo began to smirk. Sakura grabbed the couch pillow and hit her in her face and giggles.

"Mommy that's not nice." Sakura heard Maho shout from the hall and run into the living room, in between her and Tomoyo. Tomoyo only encouraged her.

"Save me Maho." The trio began to laugh and Sakura looked between Maho and Tomoyo's faces. See everything is going to be alright, she thought.