Harry's Third Year: A Comedy of Errors
Note: This was written before the fourth book came out. I think it's funny…what do you think? PLEASE review it!!!
Ginny couldn't get to sleep. Running through her head were thoughts about the one young man she truly loved—Neville Longbottom. His sweet ineptness and his power to vanquish boggarts inspired her. She started mentally composing a poem for him. "Your eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad—" no, his eyes weren't green, and he wouldn't be happy at a reference to pickling a toad. "The way you fear Snape is so darling to see…"
Ron battled insomnia, but his mind was too restless to let him sleep. Love and anger flowed through his brain. He wished he could see Penelope Clearwater, but she was all the way over in Ravenclaw. And even if she was here in Gryffindor, he couldn't ever see her without Percy. "I hate Percy!" he thought. "Why do my older brothers get everything? All I ever get is hand-me-downs. Perfect prefect Percy has to go and steal Penelope away from me!"
Hermione tried not to think of him, but it was no use. Why did she love Colin Creevey so? Was it the way he tried to take pictures at the least appropriate times? Was it his annoying habit of admiring anyone older than him to the point of nausea? Although Hermione didn't realize it, the answer was much simpler. Colin had discovered how to make a love potion in Professor Snape's class, and he had slipped some of it into her food.
Harry slept quite soundly.
The next morning, at the breakfast table, the tired lovebirds were quite a sight to see. Hermione kept stealing glances at Colin, while Colin snuck a few glances back at Hermione, trying to see if his love potion had worked—without letting Hermione notice him. Ron divided his time between glaring at Percy and gazing in the same direction that Percy was, which was towards the Ravenclaw table. Ginny spent the entire time ignoring her breakfast and staring at Neville, who was oblivious to anything unusual as he ate his oatmeal. Harry had no idea why no one was talking.
A giant flock of owls swooped into the room. Harry was surprised and delighted to see that Hedwig had something for him. He unrolled the scroll and began reading. It said:
Dear Harry,
I'll be coming by soon for a visit. See ya then!
Love, Dad
Harry blinked once or twice, then shook his head to clear it. He looked at the letter again. Sure enough, it still said, "Love, Dad" at the end. A chill ran down his spine. His dad was dead! Wasn't he?
Normally, Hermione or Ron would have noticed how Harry had stopped eating breakfast and was staring at the letter, but they had their own business to attend to. Harry shivered, then started to think again. Of course the note wasn't really from his dad! It was just a practical joke! And the most likely suspect was…
Harry looked over at the Slytherin table. Yes, Draco had a huge sneering smile on his face. Of course, that was his normal facial expression, so that didn't prove much. Harry's thoughts were interrupted by a loud, magically amplified voice.
"All students, please report to your common rooms at once! I have just received reports that…"
But Dumbledore's warning came too late. A ghost-like form appeared in the center of the hall, but it wasn't one of the ghosts the students saw every day. It was someone different.
The figure looked at Harry. Harry's scar started to hurt.
"Voldemort," he said, in a low but defiant whisper. "Why have you come here?"
"Well, Harry Potter, we meet again. But why the surprise? Didn't I tell you I was coming?"
"What?!?" Harry's mind was in turmoil. He hadn't received any warning. Unless…
"Harry, don't you see? Don't you realize? Harry, I am your father."
"No…You can't be…"
"Search your feelings. You know it to be true."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" cried Harry. Colin fainted into Hermione's arms.
"Yes. I AM your father."
"My father's dead! Dumbledore told me!"
"What Dumbledore told you was the truth…from a certain point of view. He thought your father was dead, because he thought that your father was James Potter."
"If you're my father, why did you try to kill me all those times?"
"Well, I didn't really know then that you were my son."
"WHAT!?!"
"It's a long story. Sit down, everyone, this'll take awhile."
Everyone sat down. Ginny managed to find a seat near Neville.
"You see," said Voldemort, "when I was younger, I was married. One day, my wife told me that we were going to have a child. Now, at first, I was delighted. But it was around this time that I started going on my kill-everyone-who-doesn't-like-me-or-won't-join-my-side rampage, and I started thinking that I really didn't need the competition. I mean, any kid of mine is bound to have some of my characteristics—breath-taking handsomeness, loving disposition, an overwhelming desire for power, etc. My wife kinda picked up on this, and when the baby was born, she gave it up for adoption and told me it had died in childbirth. Well, you know the rest—you got adopted by James and Lily Potter, whom I eventually killed. Nothing personal, it was just a coincidence."
Harry was shaking his head. "I don't believe you."
"Oh, c'mon, Harry. Remember when I was talking to you from the diary as Tom Riddle? I said that we even looked alike. This is why."
"But—hey, how'd you know that? I thought that the version of you that was in the diary was just a memory of you as Tom Riddle."
"Umm…Never mind that."
"How did you find out that I was your son?"
"It's amazing what you can find out about genealogy on the Internet these days."
"Well, if you want me to join you just because you're my father, the answer is no! Never!"
"Harry, that was just a phase I was going through! I've decided to stop that now! Would you really prefer the Dursleys to me?"
"Well, now that you put it that way…"
"You can trust me. I've given up on my old ways."
"Oh, okay."
Harry looked around. Every student and teacher had tears in his or her eyes at the sweet family reunion that was taking place in front of them. He noticed that Ginny and Neville had started hugging. That Ron had snuck over to the Ravenclaw table, where Penelope was telling him that she had never really loved Percy and that it was just a plot to get to know Ron. That Colin woke up to find himself in Hermione's arms, and even though the love potion had worn off (Colin had told Harry about it yesterday), Hermione and Colin had started to kiss.
"What a perfect ending," sighed Harry. "But with no more bad guys, how're we gonna have four more books?"
"I guess there won't be any more books," replied Voldemort, "so—ack!!!" he cried as he was suddenly run over by a mob of Harry Potter book fans.
THE END
Disclaimer—While I have been inspired by many people in the writing of this story, I specifically want to thank J. K. Rowling, who owns the rights to these characters.