A/N: So even though I promised myself I wouldn't do anything multi-chaptered - because procrastination - I'm gonna try anyway. This is going to be about 4 or 5 chapters I think.

Another L/J get-together for your enjoyment, as told by 3 out of 4 Marauders.

Chapter 1: A Little Push

Love is stupid.

I'm serious here (this is a fabulous joke, you'll understand in a moment): I do not understand what all the fuss is about. People tend to do it wrong, or make themselves look like idiots and if they – by some Merlinian miracle – don't, they end up with a broken heart. I'm telling you, it's not worth the trouble.

My advice? Keep it simple. Find someone you find attractive, enjoy a carefree and sizzling two weeks with them and that is it. Run like the wind before things become complicated. Repeat that as many times as you want. Works like a charm for me.

Who am I? Excellent question.

My name is Sirius Black. Seventh Year Gryffindor, Marauder, smartest student in Hogwarts - Evans and Moony don't count, they study, that's cheating. And I suppose Prongs could give me a run for my money on a good day, but he's usually moping about love, so no competition there. Continuing on: ladies killer extraordinaire, top-notch Beater, life and soul of any party and basically the guy all the girls want and all the lads want to be.

Nice to meet you.

The funny thing is: this is story is not about me. Yeah, I know, it's a crime against humanity. No, no, no need for tears, of course I will be heavily featured in this, as narrator and matchmaker.

Because you see, this story is about the biggest idiot in the love area to ever grace this planet: James Potter. Shakespeare himself couldn't have written a bigger sap if he tried – and this the creator of Romeo we're talking about. Good ol' Will would go "Romeo, who?" if he'd ever met James.

Now, before you start thinking badly about my best friend: don't. Because apart from this tiny little problem, he is actually a quite spiffin' chap. I mean the man is Marauder, Quidditch Captain, Head Boy, runner-up for smartest student, also very capable with the whole life-and-soul-business and on top of all of that he has that 'ideal son in law' thing happening, which draws in birds like you wouldn't believe. I think it's the glasses. So generally speaking, Prongs has it going on. But that bloody wanker just had to fall head over arse for the most impossible witch in all creation. Lily Evans.

The one bird that he cannot win over with his usual charm.
The one bird that calls him 'arrogant toerag' instead of swooning like the rest of the girls.
The one bird that insists on challenging him everywhere he goes.

He claims he likes that, that she 'keeps him on his toes', yadda yadda. I get tired just thinking about it. No clue as to what's going on in his head. Moony says it has something to do with 'opposites attract' and 'maturing', which just goes to show that I'm in dire need for new, less geeky and/or whiny friends. Honestly, the people I put up with.

Anyway.

I like you, my dear reader, so I'm going to spare you James' and Lily's history. It's too long, too awkward, there's way too many hexes and I can summarize it for you in three words: she hated him. And yes, it really was that bad. Now, considering I'm on Team Potter, I should mention that she wasn't completely right all the time. There were times were she would shut him down, just because she could. Not fair, I'm sure you understand.

Thankfully for him, and for entire Hogwarts, that is all in the past now. She, forced to work with him as Heads, realised he wasn't that bad. He claims he's given up, and is just happy they're friends now.

Good thing he has a wonderful best friend who knows when he's lying through his teeth.

(It's me.)

He's not fooling anyone, apart from Evans. This shouldn't have to be a problem, until I realised she's fancying him as well! I was observing them sitting together one afternoon and she was doing the girl thing. You know, the batting of the eyes, laughing about everything he said, touching his arm; all classic signs. But this is Evans we're talking about, so she hid with a lot of eye rolls and pointed looks.

I considered letting her enjoy unrequited fancying for a while, but James is my brother. Only when I hinted at what I saw, he didn't believe me. Can't blame him, after so many rejections (32, but who's counting). So now they're both moping around in silence, both too scared to take a risk.

It became obvious to me that they would keep circling around each other until the end of time if something didn't change drastically. Now, drastic change happens to be a speciality of mine, especially when it needs to happen to other people.

And so, from the goodness of my heart, I decided to meddle. All they needed was a little push...

"…and if you're both in position at 4 o'clock sharp, the plan will run along smoothly and everybody will be happy and in love before dinner."

With a final sweep of my wand, the little figurines on the map moved into place. Grinning, I looked up at Moony and Wormtail. I knew the plan was brilliant, so I was waiting for the impressive looks on their faces.

Wormtail was grinning, sure enough. Reliable lad, that one. But Moony was still frowning, staring at the map, tapping with his fingers on his face. After some silence, he finally looked up.

"I've got to say Padfoot, the plan is…"

"Brilliant?"

"Not exactly."

"Inspired?"

"Nope."

"Simply delightful?"

Remus sighed. "Over the top. I was going to say over the top, Sirius."

"Of course it's over the top, Moony. We have to get Prongs and Evans together, which in itself is a trick and a half. But James will kill us if we do it with one of your subtle little plans."

"I figure he's got a point, Remus." Wormtail chimed in. "If he can't tell a great story later on, to his 300 red headed grandchildren, he is not going to be amused." I held up my hand for a high five, but Remus just rolled his eyes.

"You do realise that even if this plan goes as smoothly as you say it will – which it won't by the way, because I can easily think of three ways this will equal disaster – Prongs will kill us either way for meddling?"

He had a point there of course. Over the years, the plans we other Marauders executed for our love struck friend have been…alright I won't lie, a bit of a failure. So after the 14th time James got hexed something horrid because of us, he explicitly forbade us to meddle.

I waved away his concerns. "A minor detail. Can't you see our dear friend is stumbling in the dark? Without our help, the poor bugger will never get his woman!"

"And we're doing this because you concluded that Lily fancies James now, based on one conversation you saw them have?"

"Correct." When he was still looking doubtful, I slung an arm around his shoulders. "Come ooooon Moony. I know that you only have love for books and exams, but can you please try to see the romance of all this? We've tried so many times and now we've actually got a chance of succeeding! Think of the fame, the glory!"

"And you're certain we're doing this for James?" Remus asked, but I could see a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.

"That goes without saying." I declared loftily. Victory was close, I could almost smell it. "And as an added bonus, it will be so much fun. We'll need all of our combined skills: your bookish smartness, Wormtails' stealth and me…well, for everything else."

"Of course." Remus said drily. "Were would we be without you and your modesty, Pads."

He was looking at me all disapprovingly, but I'd been around Remus Lupin and his looks for a long time. In the dark corners of his heart, he wanted to do this. So I played my master card. "Quit stalling Lupin, are you in or not? Just know that all the terrible things that are apparently going to happen with all the holes in my plan, will be on your head."

"I thought you would say that." Remus groaned, resignation leaking from his voice. He cast his eyes to the ceiling, probably praying for salvation, but then he squared his shoulders and grabbed his wand. "Right. Let's fix this ridiculous plan of yours."