Disclaimer:

No, I don't own Fire Emblem. So don't ask.

Purple Chicken 3: Krawk (I don't think they did)

Oh hush, you.

Right. I'm Purple Chicken Master, and these are my purple chicken minions 1-11. Say hi.

PC's 1-11: Ro. (Hi.)

So yes. I won't waste any more of your time. Here is the one-shot.

So yes. I admit it. I was snooping. There. Are you happy now?

It's not my fault he's mad at me. I didn't want this to happen. Trust me. So what if I didn't know he was afraid of mice? So who cares if I didn't know why he had to leave in the middle of the party? Who cares if he's lactose intolerant?

I don't. Well, you may. So I'll tell you the beginning. You know, so you won't be confused.

It started out with Eliwood and Hector celebrating Lyn's birthday. It was great! We had all the stuff you need for an awesome party. We had balloons, ribbons, streamers, and great food. I must say, the party was magnificent. It took place in the Calin Castle. Everyone came. Marcus, Rebecca, Matthew, Guy, Lowen, Kent, Sain, Oswin, Rath and everyone else. Plus some pheasants that Lyn was good friends with. The party was in the ballroom, which is humungo, and the maids really spruced it up. Lowen had out done himself with the cooking. Veggie soup, broiled chicken, punch, cheese and crackers, and the cake. It must've been at least three layers, with chocolate and strawberries and even some vanilla. It should've been a blast.

Everyone was sitting and talking and dancing and singing. Kent and Sain were arguing about who got Lyn a better gift, and Lowen was refilling the punch bowls. Marcus was yelling at Lowen about practicing his lance thrusts, and Florina was giggling with Lyn, Pricilla, and Serra. Erk was reading, and Canas was looking at the wallpaper. Since I saw that everyone was busy, I made my way over to Rath, who was standing at the food table with a cup of punch.

"Hey, Rath! Wow, what a great party, huh?" I asked, trying to make small talk.

"If you like that sort of thing, yes." He replied, quiet as ever.

I noticed he was looking uneasily at the cheese and crackers. "Rath, don't you just LOVE cheese. I mean, cheese has GOT to be one of the BEST foods on this planet! If I didn't have cheese, I think I would die…!" I rambled on, hoping he would jump in and say something.

"….I….don't like cheese. Or rather…It doesn't like…" He started, but was cut off as Serra shouted, "Lyn's opening her presents!"

We all hustled over there to see what she got. Rath took one last long, hard look at the cheese, than stood next to me.

Serra, who seemed to have taken charge of presents, handed them to Lyn, who opened each one with a face of delight. She got some really cool stuff. Kent got her a painting of a really pretty horse, Marcus bought her a little talking parrot, which Lyn had stay on her shoulder the entire time. Lowen made a gift basked full of delicious looking baked goods like chocolates and cookies. Yum. Serra bought Lyn a really pretty new dress to wear into battle. All of those gifts were nice, but I couldn't wait for her to open mine. I heard from Pricilla that Lyn had a thing for exotic animals. Especially snakes. So I hooked up with a buddy of mine, who sold rare animals for a living, and he got me this real pretty snake. Friendly, too!

Lyn finally got to mine. She opened the box, and found the caged creature. Then she squealed.

"Oh my god! It's gorgeous! What should I call it?"

I grinned, glad that she liked it. "Here, to feed it!" I handed her a bag of mice. She took them and suddenly the parrot started yapping "Miceies, Micies!"

Lyn forgot about the mice and began to talk to the parrot. The bad part of this is that she dropped the bag of mice and they went scurrying across the floor. I was the only one who saw this, and only one mouse escaped. I didn't know where it went, so I kept my mouth shut. All the sudden, Rath started screaming and grabbing his pant legs.

"Ohmyfuckinggod, there'ssomethinginmyshoe,nowit'scrawlingupmylegs,GETITOFF!" (Translation: Oh my fucking god, there's something in my shoe, now it's crawling up my legs, GET IT OFF!)

He swatted the bottom of his pants, and out went flying the mouse. Rath saw the mouse and screamed. I'm not kidding. He then jumped onto a chair and whimpered "Get it away…"

Lyn picked up the mouse and put it back into its cage. Meanwhile, everyone laughed at Rath. His face turned a color of deep chartreuse, and he mumbled something about going to the bathroom.

After he went to go take a leak, Lyn opened the rest of her presents. But Rath didn't come back, so I decided to go find him. I remembered how he was looking at the cheese, so I grabbed some and went to go find him.

I found him in the bathroom, washing his face. "Rath, you seemed down, so I brought you some cheese! Yay?"

Rath looked at the cheese in a way I couldn't really interpreter, so I took it as 'oh thanks, I needed that, Wil'.

"Here, it's yummy…." I stuffed a piece into his mouth. He chewed, the swallowed. Then he turned red again. 'Cept this time he looked like a tomato.

"Wil, you idiot! I CAN'T EAT CHEESE! Now I'm going to get sick!" He looked truly upset. I felt awful.

"Rath…your…Lactose Intolerant!" I exclaimed in shock.

"Yes, you little motor mouth, I'm lactose intolerant!" He was almost shaking in rage. "It's your fault! First, you bring mice. I'm TERRIFIED of mice! Then, one crawls up my leg and I scream like an idiot! Now everyone's laughing at me, and I ATE CHEESE! Damn it, now I'm going to get sick!" He was really mad.

"Rath, I'm sorry. I didn't know…" I felt awful. Besides the fact that I had always had a small crush on him, he was my good friend. We had never had a fight before.

"I'm going HOME!" He shouted as he walked out the door.

Okay, so now you know the general part of the story. With the mice and the leaving and the cheese. But how was I supposed to know? He never talks about this!

So because I felt bad, I decided to follow him to his small little hut/shack/house thingy. And I didn't mean to overhear this, I swear!

Oh right. You don't know that part yet. Let me tell you.

So after he left, I followed him to his hut/shack/house thingy. He put his horse away, then went inside. I watched this all from a window. Then, he made some tea and sat down with some pills, most likely for his milk indigestion sick thingymbober. This seemed normal enough.

What happened next shook me. I heard him muttering to himself.

"Damn. What an awful day. Sometimes I wish I had never met the little creep….but something says I should've…..argh! Stupid nagging voice…."

Creep? Is that how he felt about me? That word. It felt like a slap across the face.

He wasn't done yet, though. Next he took out a leather bound book. Worn, it looked like some sort of diary. He opened it to an early entry. Then he read it to himself.

'Journal, day four of the red moon.

My mother made me promise something today. As we walked in the lush green plains, she took hold of my hand, and pressed a small purple flower into my hand. 'Rath' she whispered, 'you must never, never fall in love. For if you do, something terrible will happen.' I asked her if this is the reason we left the rest of the tribe. She didn't answer. I wonder what would happen if I fell in love. But I promised. So I must never love. I will always hate. Never will I marry a women. Never will I even THINK about marrying a women. For if I do, I will have broken mother's promise. And I will have done something terrible.

Rath sighed and poured a cup of tea. "Love…." He murmured. "Did I….did I keep my promise?"

So that's what I over heard. Are we on the same page now? Yes? Good.

I couldn't believe what he just said. He left his tribe because of something terrible. What would happen if he fell in love? Did this mean…I could never tell him how I felt?

I felt hot breath down the back of my neck. I spun around and saw that Rath's horse had escaped from the barn. I, being terrified of horses, screamed.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET IT AWAY!"

Shit. Rath had obviously heard that, because he was running to the door. He opened it, and saw his horse….and me….

"WIL! What the hell are you doing here?" He looked mad again…. "Did you over hear anything I said?" His face was like a radish now.

"R-r-rath….m-m-make it g-g-g-go away…." I whimpered as the horse towered above me.

So Rath put the horse away. Then he came back for me.

"You heard, didn't you?"

I decided it was best to play dumb. "Heard? Heard what? I didn't here anything!" I laughed nervously.

Obviously, I did the wrong thing, because he grabbed my shirt collar and lifted me up. "YOU HEARD! YOU HEARD!"

"ok, perhaps I heard a little…." I squeaked.

He put me down and opened the door. I just stood there.

"…are you coming in or not?"

Coming in? I thought he was going to kill me or something!

So I walked inside. He offered me a chair and I took it.

"So Rath, did you….did you bread your promise?"

He glared at me, then sighed. "…I don't think so…at least…I hope not…."

I decided to ask one more question. "Rath, who did you fall in love with?"

He looked at me in a strange way. "….If you knew…you…you would hate me…"

"Oh, come on! I would not!"

He stood up. "Yes, you would!"

I stood up. "No, I wouldn't!"

Rath's face turned bright red. "Well…Wil…I-I…kind of…..like you. A lot."

I felt my face turn as red as a cherry. "Really? Because…I-I…I've always liked you…"

Rath broke out in a grin and hugged me. I was so happy. But then I remembered his promise. "Rath, you promised never to fall in love."

Rath took a step back. "…no…look." He opened the book and I knelt down next to him. "I said I would never fall in love with a women! And your not one….unless you're hiding something from me…."

My face turned red again. "No, I'm definitely a man. But what about the terrible thing that would happen if you fell in love?"

Rath's face turned stony. "I…don't…know…"

All the sudden, we heard crashing out side. Suddenly, a rough voice yelled 'Come out with your weapons in front of you and we won't kill you…right away!'

Rath gripped my hand. "Wil, get your bow."

"You're not going to surrender, are you?"

"Well, they said 'come out with your weapon in front of you. I think we hold our bows in front of us…"

"So, we fight them?"

"…yup."

With our bows in front of us, we ran out of Rath's hut. Oh, poo. Just a bunch of petty bandits. I expected someone hard to fight.

"Ready Wil?"

"Ready."

So we both let loose a stream of arrows, and then some. Bandits fell everywhere. More came, then more fell. Suddenly, I realized something.

"Rath! This is terrible!" I shouted laughing.

"Terrible! Do you think this is it? And what's so funny?"

"Well, we're winning, right?"

"…yes…"

"Your Ma never said who the terrible would be for!"

"So you're implying that…"

"Yup! We're fine! They're the ones who are in trouble for something terrible!"

And for the first time, I heard him laugh. Then he grinned, and stood by my side. We both started cracking up as the bandits fell around us. And then, together with the one I love, we plunged into the heat of battle. Together. Always together.

Well, how did you like it? Sorry if anyone's out of character….I tried.

But leave me a review on how you liked it, 'kay?