Gale Again
I sit up, shivering. I'm having nightmares again. Only this time, they're much worse. I lie back down and try to go back to sleep.
Prim, Rue and Finnick are there, setting me on fire, blaming me for killing them. They hate me. Then President Snow pops up and with a bow filled not with arrows, but his stinking roses, kills them. Just like that. And then the flame which engulfs me engulfs him too, and I can hear him laughing. Gale steps in then, with a parachute in his hand. Gale. My oldest friend, and the best one I had. But he hates me too… everyone does now.
I wake up again, waving my hands madly and squarely hitting Peeta in the face. His blue eyes flutter open and he sits up, putting an arm around me. "Nightmares?"
"Nightmares," I confirm. He brushes the hair out of my face.
"Think of a happy memory. Something you like to do that you still can do." I think of it for a while. What can I do thst makes me happy? I hunt, but that's because I have nothing to do. I stopped singing ever since I moved into Victor's Village. My family and friends… my mother is somewhere in the Capitol. My sister and father are dead. Gale… Gale is in District 2 with his family, and I haven't met him for months. Gale, who invented the bomb that killed my sister and many others. Gale, who saved some of the people of 12, including my family. Gale, who had probably never even thought of me since I shot Coin.
"You okay?" he asks, bringing me back to reality. I nod, and. But I'm not okay and he knows that.
"Peeta, I'm going out for a walk."
"Katniss, it's 12 a.m."
"I'll be fine." I kiss his cheek and walk to the door. "Go back to sleep." He lies down without hesitation. He knows I have to be alone for some time.
Finally, the woods. I head towards the lake my father often took me to and dive in, hunting jacket and all. The cool water tickles my warm skin. I think of how I always wanted to bring Gale here. Now I'll never be able to.
What do I think of Gale? Have I forgiven him for the bomb, or has the little glue that held our friendship melted away completely? Does he know about me and Peeta? If he does, how does he feel? Just then, I realize how badly I've missed him. Hunting with him. Telling each other all our secrets. All of it.
Does he blame himself about the death of my sister? Is that why he stays away from me, ignoring every letter, every phone call? I want to know. I need to know. I still have feeling for my old hunting partner.
And I want to see him, talk to him.
Now.
But there's nothing I can do, so I fall asleep instead, listening to the soft, calming water splashing about.
When I wake up, the sun's shining brightly and I can feel its heat on my face. It's around 10 o' clock. I bolt up, gather some katniss roots and half-run, half-walk back to Victor's Village. The smell of baking bread fills the air and I see Peeta in the kitchen, looking anxious.
"I thought you said you were going for a walk."
"Sorry, I should've come back sooner." He takes me into his arms and lifts me high. "Put me down!" I say, playfully.
"Sure, you're getting heavy." I smile. That's one thing Peeta can make me do. Only one three other people could do that. And two of them were dead. And the other one…
Peeta kisses me and puts me down. "Where were you?"
"Some pond. It was so peaceful, I fell asleep. Without nightmares."
"Well, I should take lessons from this pond." He points to a small bruise on his nose, which I had accidentally given him the previous night.
"I'm sorry. You're really turning back to your old self, you know. Your almost there."
"Almost?"
"I… don't know. Peeta, look, I didn't mean to be –"
"Cool down, Girl on Fire. Look, you're burning my bread with your heat." I take a long, deep sniff of his bread. Bread with cheese and basil leaves.
It all comes back to me: the morning of the reaping which I spent in the woods with Gale, eating Prim's cheese and bread from the bakery…
"Peeta, I need to see Gale." He freezes.
"What for? He's in District 2, and –"
"It's not like that. It's about Prim,"
"Katniss, give this some thought. Like, how will you meet him?"
"We'll go to 2. His family's there, and my mother too. She was sent there for a while." He gives it some thought.
"All right, but may I ask why? It has been a good five or six months since the, you know, rebellion."
"I keep thinking about it, Peeta. Prim screaming my name, the parachute bombs…" A tear threatens to run down my cheek. Peeta gestures for me to sit down and puts his hands on my shoulders.
"Okay. If it means so much to you, we'll go to District 2."
"Real?"
"Of course not," he says sarcastically. "Real, you dummy!" I feel the corners of my mouth moving upwards.
"Thanks. You're really nice," He pretends to faint with happiness. Another smile touches my lips.
The next two days go past in a blur. I was in District 2 before you could say 'nightlock'. I see the Nut, and remember Gale's avalanche plan. Hid death trap… was he really heartless? I knew he wasn't. He couldn't be. He wasn't.
He wouldn't have tried to save 12. He wouldn't have torn his shirt to save that injured little girl all those years ago in 12. He wouldn't have left those newborn rabbits, giving them a chance to live. He wouldn't have done so many things I don't want to think about now, for they make me feel all the more desperate.
Peeta waits inside the Justice Building while I go out looking for Gale. Every girl seems to know about him. Looks like he's not been lonely here in District 2.
"Katniss! Katniss, wait!" I turn around to see who it is. It's Rory.
"Hey, Rory," I say. I hug him for a whole minute. "It's weird living in 12 now that the Hawthorne's aren't there." I say, letting go.
"It's weird living in 2, too. Seeing everywhere nice and white instead of that black coal dust."
"So, how is everything?"
"Mother's rather sick. She hasn't been well for months now." Hazelle isn't well. Is that why Gale didn't come to 12? I badly want to ask Rory that, but instead I just give him my sympathies.
"Do you want to see her?" he asks.
"It'll be nice to, if you don't mind."
"No, it's all right. We don't have school today, it's Saturday."
"Thanks, Rory." We make small talk as we walk to wherever Hazelle is.
She's in hospital.
Great. All the Hawthornes are there, except for Gale, who's probably working. Somehow, I don't want to see him while we're in hospital with his mother. It seems wrong.
"Katniss," Hazelle says. "Nice to see you. You've been missed."
"I didn't think I would be. All I bring anyone is trouble."
"Come now, we both know that isn't true." Wrong. We both know it is.
We both stay silent for a while, and then my mother comes in. "Katniss?"
"Mother!" I run to her and hug her fondly. I haven't really missed her, but I haven't taken not seeing her for granted.
"Oh, Katniss, I never thought you'd come!" She lets me go and takes a good look at me, and spends the next fifteen minutes telling me how happy she is, and about her life, and asking about 12, and what not. Then she makes the Posy, Rory and me wait in the hospital lobby while she checks Hazelle.
I think the odds might be in my favor today. But they never are, for who should come in next but Gale, with his left arm in a sling. He's thinner and worn out, but still good-looking. At first, he doesn't really notice me for I'm standing at the far end, away from the Hawthornes with my back turned. Actually, he only sees me when Posy points me out.
I walk toward him as Vick calls me to them, and nudges Rory and Posy to clear out before he does himself.
Neither Gale nor I does or says anything. He holds out his good hand gingerly, as if we're two people who have never met before. Is that really all he thinks of me? A random girl from District 12? Could he really be the boy in the woods who I never hid anything from?