TITLE: Awkward Moment No. 894
AUTHOR: VIDZ
SEASON: 9
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: this is NOT, I repeat, NOT a slash/femslash/whatever fic, even though two women are selected as characters! You won't find those with me.
SUMMARY: Harm is not the only one with whom Mac has awkward moments. NOT a slash fic -shudder
X
It was a girl's night out for the women of JAG HQ and with the nature of the command 3 tables had to be pushed together to seat them all.
Everyone was having a good time, most on their third glass of wine, when Mac saw the opportunity presenting itself and took it.
Turning to the office's Yeoman, who had a slight alcoholic blush gracing her lovely face, she tried to strike up a conversation.
"So, Jen..."
"Yes, ma'am?"
"Call me ' Mac', Jen."
"Yes, ma'am."
Shaking her head, she saw she won't get anywhere with that, having noticed a long time ago that Jen was quite reserved with her, but couldn't put a finger on it, why. Sure, she was always polite and everything, but there was never any warmth or friendliness in their interaction. Not knowing always bugged Mac.
"Anyway, I've always wanted to know something..."
"What's that, ma'am?"
To Jen's surprise and mortification Mac waved at her chest.
"Where did you get those made?"
"Ma'am?" this time the title was an incredulous squeak.
"Oh, come on, don't be coy, we've all been there..." Mac stated and triumphantly looked around at her coworkers. Some of them were curious, while some refused to meet her eyes and others just looked shocked. Mac saw nothing wrong with this girl-talk, hell, even Jordan had been quite forthcoming with Harm's prowess in bed, so in comparison this was pretty tame... Nothing to be upset over in this group of women-only.
"I don't know what you're talking about, ma'am." Jen denied, blushing from embarrassment and indignation.
"Oh, come on, Petty Officer, that's nothing to be ashamed off..." Mac pressed, a little pissed off by now.
Jen looked upset over being put on the spot, but after a quick internal debate, deflated "Okay, ma'am."
Mac just grinned victoriously.
"My mother, ma'am."
That brought a few quizzical gazes from her coworkers.
"Your mother was a plastic surgeon?" questioned Mac wide-eyed.
But Jen shook her head in denial "No, ma'am, I got them from her."
Seeing it wasn't getting through, Jen put it plainly "They're real."
Mac's eyes widened, while some of the girls giggled, finding it all very funny. Mac glared at them, finding mostly young enlisted among the culprits.
Stalling for time she swallowed her own soda, privately thinking "Uh oh, awkward moment no. 894."
X
Observing with satisfaction the shock of the woman she seriously disliked for the way she treated someone very dear to Jen, she couldn't help but bait her.
"Besides, ma'am, many men prefer naturals." Jen hid her smirk "No matter what the size."
"No, they don't." Mac was quick to grab the bait and run with it, unknowingly falling into Jen's trap. The tone she'd said that in was the patronizing kind, like someone explaining something painfully obvious to a very slow-witted and stubborn person.
"They do, ma'am." Jen nodded confidently, seeing a few others agree with her, then dropped the bomb "Commander Rabb for example..."
Mac's eyes narrowed, her face slowly reddening "And how would you know, Petty Officer?"
Pretending not to hear the threat or recognize the implications, Jen said innocently "Men talk too, ma'am. Especially with their best friends, who visit for the first time in years, and having already a couple of beers under the belt. And I've got excellent hearing..."
Seeing Mac glare at her, she could see Jen 1:Mac 0 on a scoreboard above Mac's head in her mind.
Take that. she smiled in satisfaction, but hiding the smile behind her glass.
For the rest of the evening she could feel glares scorch her, but felt only satisfaction.
x
"Leave it, LtCol." demanded Chegwidden as he walked down the corridor, while Mac buzzed around him like an annoying fly.
"But, sir, they're obviously doing something! I really to think this matter should be investigated and then handled according to UCMJ." she insisted hypocritically.
"I don't care."
"Sir, you really can't..."
Finally Chegwidden had had enough, stopped and rounded on Mac "Don't presume to tell me what I can and can not do, Lieutenant Colonel. Whatever, if anything at all, is happening is not your concern."
He then deflated and sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose "Look, Mac. Rabb has not gone off on any of his crusades since he returned. He's doing triple the work you or anyone else does or is even capable of doing. His paperwork is always on time now, not even filed at the last moment. Something's obviously happened and we can all be happy it did, if for nothing else, at least because it makes my life easier. If Coates is that something, then we should all be grateful for that and to her. If, and I repeat IF, there is anything happening, I don't wanna know. As long as it doesn't interfere with the office I don't have a problem with it."
And that was it. Mac could just watch, pouting, as he walked off, leaving her there as she slowly fumed in the hallway.
x
Harm and Jen filed out of the elevator after a long, hard day at work, each slowly trudging to their own door.
"Good night, sir." Jen murmured listlessly as she took out her key.
Harm returned the sentiment, but something made him stop and turn around.
"Jen, do you have any idea what's up with Mac?" he watched her as she went about unlocking her door, leaning against his own.
Jen busied herself with her work, glad Mattie was staying over with a friend, otherwise the door would've been unlocked by now and she would've had to face the Commander... now, when he was paying for her desire to pay his tormentor back a little, she was wracked with guilt.
"I wouldn't know, sir." she denied, feeling guilty for lying. That was another reason she was glad she didn't have to face him... he'd immediately know she was lying.
"Huh." Harm grunted thoughtfully "She's been glaring at me all day."
Seeing the flaw in his own answer he extrapolated "More so than usual."
"I really don't know, sir."
"Right." he sighed, then unlocked his own apartment "Good night, Jen."
"Good night, sir." Jen returned, entered her apartment and closed the door, hearing the door shut on the other side of the corridor.
x
AN: to make clear: nothing is going on between Harm and Jen, no matter what AJ and Mac think.