N/A: This is my first story on , so please dont hesitate to give me some feedback.
Disclaimer: These characters do NOT belong to me, if they did, I'll be rich... so damn :/
Enjoy :)
It was dark;
I was drunk and half-dead,
and we slept, knocking heads,
sitting up in the star-smoking air,
knocking heads like boys.
-Joanna Newsom, Have One On Me
My name is James Cook. This is my story about how I became a father, at the age of eighteen.
He was about to throw the first punch, his fist high in the foggy air, when felt someone grab his raised arm; forcing it out of the air and dragging his body off in the other direction. It seemed to be quite a struggle of the person to do so. They were unable to keep a firm grip, stumbling, letting go of his arm many times, especially as he tried to fight the person off.
However, something within him let this person drag him away, even though the adrenaline was still pumping it's way through his body. He stumbled into one of the bedrooms (the master bedroom by the looks of it) it was surprisingly empty, also dark and cold. The person pushed him further into the room, before slamming the door shut and locking it, turning a lamp on, which filled the room with a pinkish glow. The loud music still thumping into the lifeless room. He whipped around the face the person, the adrenaline rising back into his system.
"WHAT THE FOCK D'YOU THINK YOU'RE-" His anger vanished as his faced the person who robbed him of his release.
"Ka'ie?" Katie Fitch stood before him. In a low-cut, skin-tight, thigh-high, black cocktail dress and matching heels. Her hair slightly frizzed, her fringe pulled back and clipped with a blue butterfly hair clip, her skin shiny and probably sticky from sweat. She was trembling. He didn't notice she was crying, her make-up running down her pretty face.
"Katie? What the fock is wrong?" It came to a surprise to him that, he actually cared why, the bitch from hell was crying her eyes out. He moved towards her, his hands out-stretched in front of himself. She seemed to flattened herself against the door, one hand still keeping a firm grip on the door knob, the other picking at the hem of her dress. She didn't look at him, or even seem to notice him walking towards her, she just stared at the pink lamp.
"There's no point in beating the shit out of that kid, Cook. It won't get rid of your pain, only make you end up in a prison sell for the night... I thought... I would stop you from making a complete twat of yourself. You can thank me later" Sure she annoyed him, but she was right. She did him a favour, yes, he didn't want to go to prison for something so stupid. But why was she crying?
"Uhm... Thanks... B-but why are you cr-?" Katie let out a loud sob, covering her face with her hands, her make-up smudging even more. Cook stepped backward, unsure of what to do with himself. Katie quickly whipped away the fallen tears, readjusting her dress, feeling ashamed of her out-burst.
Without looking at Cook, Katie walked passed him and sat down on the king sized bed. Cook stood there feeling uneasy, he didn't know if he should leave, stand, or sit with Katie. It was only when Katie continued to talk, that he stopped exchanging, his weight from foot to foot.
"I see the way you look at her. It hurts you still to see them together. I know... I know how you feel...I'm crying...'Cause..." She took a deep breath, wiping her pretty face clean of any tears.
"'Cause, I wanted to beat the shit out of Effy, like what she did to me. Really, really fuck her pretty face up. Hit her with my fucking might over the head with a stone, then leave her bleed to death, like she did to me.
And then get away with it and have everyone forgive me. Then like have, Freddie forgive me and be all over me again, like a fucking rash. Because, it's not fair that a crazy bitch, like Effy, can fucking to that and get away with it.
How is it fair that she can fuck around, break Freddie's fucking heart, and yours, and poor sodding JJ's, but still like, have you three, and every fucking guy in there drool all over her? How the fuck is that fair?"
Cook looked down in shame. She was right and he hadn't even notice it. It was unfair. How someone like Katie -who may not be the nicest girl in world, but means well- be treated that way. It wasn't even that long ago, the party in the woods, the tents, sparklers, mushrooms. All of them were fucked off their faces (accept Katie), everyone was about to go to sleep, when Katie noticed her so-called friend, Effy, holding hands with her boyfriend. Sure she told her to back off, any girl would.
When she saw Effy walking around; crying and acting stupid. Sure, she was angry, she may have been shouting, pushing Effy until she fell to the ground; demanding an answer and an apology out of her, also, at the same time begging for her not to steel her boyfriend, knowing Effy could. However, when Effy pulled her down the ground with her, things got difficult. Katie tried to get away from her, pushing and pulling away from Effy.
She was angry, but she didn't want to hurt Effy.
Effy obviously took this as an attack, she kept a firm grip on Katie, not letting her to get away. Katie tried once again to stand up, sensing the situation was getting out of hand, however, Effy rolled her way onto Katie and started tugging at her hair, gripping onto her neck.
Katie by now was screaming extremely loudly, hoping for someone to help her, get Effy off. She rolled them over, hoping that would better her chances in escaping. However, that was cut short, as she was hit; Effy striking her around the head with a large stone.
The force and pain threw Katie to ground, she thought that would be it, however, Effy just kept hitting her with the stone.
The salty, stale taste of blood filled her mouth, blocked her nose and masked her vision. Darkness immediately overtook her. She could only really understand what was going on; when daylight came and when she heard a faint call of her name. She knew it wasn't Effy; she had buggered off. Katie tried to reply, but darkness had taken over her again by then.
Cook knew none of this. He wasn't there, he didn't hear Katie's cries, he didn't see her laying there on the dirty ground; covered in blood, while Effy was running off the other direction. He didn't know how much Emily cried over her sister still body, Freddie looking in guilt and Panda asking why Effy did it. He didn't see her parents cry in sorrow, while they stood next their daughter's unconscious body in the hospital bed. He saw none of this. He was too busy running after Effy; like a lost puppy dog.
He didn't even ask Katie how she was. He didn't see her in the hospital fighting for her life. That hurt Katie even more was; how little he cared. Even if she didn't even like him, she was far from it, she just hated the fact that, he forgave Effy so quickly, without even bothering coming to see what damage she caused Katie. It still hurt, even when the cuts and bruises had faded into little white scars. It still hurts.
"Why didn't you come to the hospital?" Katie asked in a small voice. Cook's eyes snapped up to Katie's. He licked his dry lips. He didn't really know why didn't go and visit her. Sure, they weren't friends, weren't even close. But surely he should of gone, right?
But, wait, wasn't he with Effy at the time, escaping from everyone back in Bristol? Yes. Trying to find his father? Yes. Wasn't he running away, just so he could have Eff all to himself? Yes, I was... but isn't that selfish? Is that the right way of thinking? It all seemed so important at the time... but now, now that you look at it, it was all so short lived. But worth it? Right?
But... Then again, wouldn't any decent person go? Even if they were in love with the victim's attacker? Even if they only found out, a while after the event actually took place? Even if it was just to show the family support? Even if they hardly knew the person?Wouldn't they go? Wouldn't anyone do that?
"I-I dunno. I just... didn't."
"Well, that's great. Thanks Cook, really thank you. I feel so much better!"
"I'm sorry, all right? I'm sorry for not focking seeing ya. I just... I just wasn't thinking about you, at the time-" Katie suddenly raised to her feet, standing too close to Cook. She was rather scary.
"Well, that's fucking great ain't it Cook? That's makes me feel fucking brilliant now, that you fucking said sorry. But you know what Cook? I don't, like, want you to say fucking sorry, I don't fucking need you to, alright? 'Cause, you won't the one who fucking hit me over the head with that rock, you're not the one that made me get nine fucking stitches, were you? NO, that was fucking Effy, fucking princess Effy, but I don't see her apologising any time soon.
And what hurt the fucking most is, after leaving me in the woods. She then went and fucked my boyfriend. Yeah, that's right fucking princess Effy, shagged Freddie while he was was suppose to be shagging me!"
"What do you want me to do then, Katie-kins? If you don't want me to say sorry, why am I here?" Katie took a deep breath, staring Cook in the eye, him doing same back to her. Both trying to figure out what do say.
"I told you already, to stop you from beating that-"
"Kid up, yes, I know that. But why? Why would you give a shit, if I smashed that kids face in? Why would Katie Fitch, give a fock if James Cook ends up in prison? Why?" Panic flashed over Katie's face.
"'Cause... I want to kick Effy's face in" She took a deep breath, running her fingers through her hair, her butterfly clip becoming lose and falling onto the bedsheets.
"And I know if I do that, everyone will hate me, but if you smash that kid's face up, no one think anything about it. I didn't want you feel better, while I'm stuck feeling like shit, alright?" Cook stepped back, still keeping a firm gaze on Katie, while she cried. He sighed.
"So, what do you want to do?"
"I want to forget, I want to feel better... Just for tonight... I want it to all go away" Katie sobbed an reply, Cook nodded along, knowing what to do now.
He stepped forward; sitting next to Katie. He placed one hand on her shoulder, causing, Katie to looked at him, his large blue eyes looking into her brown ones, as his face inched closer to hers. Panic and disgust washed over her face, before she realised why he going to kiss her. He was going to make her forget. And she was going to take her chances.
She grabbed a hold of his plain green polo-shirt, closing the gap between them, their lips moving against each other at a fast pace. There was that odd feeling that flooded itself against the pair, the feeling when; snogging is just snogging. The feel of the odd texture of two pairs of lips moving against each other. No spark, no love, no lust was in the kiss, just moving. It surprised them both, considering they were both very experienced with snogging and were both very good at it; so why was this not working?
Katie cringed slightly before pulling away from Cook's lips. They looked away from each other, Katie's right shoulder still touching Cook's left one, the fingers (of their supporting arms) touching slightly, causing, their skin to go a tad hotter. She looked at the pink lamp, her fingertips brushing over her lips. Cook looked up letting out a long sigh. It was awkward.
"Well, didn't think that could go wrong" Cook sighed. Katie couldn't help but chuckle, she turned back toward Cook, a small smile playing on her lips. A few strands of lose hair had fallen into her eyes, Cook notice it before Katie, tucking them behind her ear, looking with lust, desire in his eyes.
The change in atmosphere, the tension slightly rising, changed Katie's view on what was going on between, the two of them. Cook looking at her like, she was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen. His fingertips resting on the flushed skin of her neck. Their fingers, of their supporting arms, still touching. Yes, all of these things defiantly changed Katie's view on, on Cook. Maybe he wasn't so repulsive after all.
"So?" Cook's deep voice swiftly flooded Katie's ears, thickening the tension, between them. The air got thicker, her skin got hotter, her mind blurred into a blissful state. The tip of her pink tongue moistened her lips, before she bit down on her lower lip.
"Why you being so nice to me?" Katie asked, in a brief moment of maturity. Her mind had, for a brief second, remember who Cook was, who he was to her, who he has been in her life so far. He had been a dickhead. This soft side, this mature side, this nice side, was something Katie hadn't seen from him yet. It was surprising.
A smirk reached Cook's lips, he shrugged, replying;
"I am nice"
Katie smiled, chuckling at his reply. She had finally allowed herself to understand that tonight, Cook was her best chance of happiness. Even though she had already kissed him, she knew -deep down- that what, he had to offer, was more than just lust, just for tonight. She smirked at him, ready for him to start kissing her again, Cook grinned at the sight of it, his eyes daring her to make the first move.
Which she did willingly. Their lips moved against each other, but this time there was something more. Cook nipped on Katie's lower lip, causing, her to grin into his lips. She grasped his hair, moving closer to his body, his free hand landing on her hip. Their tongues continued to dance in a lustful state. Their bodies moulded against each other.
Yes, this is how she imagined it to be.
Cook removed his lips from Katie's, before, also removing his top, to leave his heated flesh, to be at the disposable of Katie's long fingernails. Katie couldn't help but grin, she slowly kick off her shoes, finding the task difficult, Cook helped her; then resting his hand of her thigh.
Katie slowly stood up, going on her knees, she made her way to head of the bed, finally lying down her back, she smirked seductively at him. Cook -who had been watching her the entire time- too stood up, removing his shoes and belt. He joined Katie on the bed, resting inbetween her legs, his lips massaging her neck. Not knowing that the little clip had just fell into his shoe.
"You're over dressed" He panted into her neck, feeling the soft vibration of her laughter, he was determined to do it again.
"You too" She replied, giggling once more.
They quickly disposed of their clothing. Passion, lust, need burning through their skin, as they became one. Cook couldn't help but subconsciously compare shagging with Katie, to shagging with Effy. It was different...
Katie was by far easier to please, not that was bad thing, it was just different. Shagging Effy was like... like... eating one of those massive white gobstoppers, it takes a long time to find your way through, to the delicious soft centre. She was harder to please.
With Katie was like eating one of toffee sweets, that has chocolate inside. It's soft, sweet, completely addictive and immensely rewarding... However with Effy, it was tough, tiring, and always gave you tooth ache, and you only carry on eating the sugary content, because, of the chance of getting to the centre...
Well, that just explained Effy in general...
After Katie's last loud moan -which was slightly drained out by the music- Cook decided that, he could get used to shagging Katie... he quite liked change... She's a good shag, better than Freddie gave her credit for.
They parted without saying anything. Katie sat ridged to the bed, awkward and tense as she got dressed. Cook was confused as he watched Katie's back disappear from his eyes, as she zipped up her dress. He didn't understand her change in attitude. One minute she's all up for it, next, she's dead quite...
"Uhm... You alright?" Cook asked, as pulled his top over his chest. Katie looked back at him over her shoulder, a small smile on her lips, no smile was in her eyes. She nodded quickly, before standing, she unlock the door, pausing, she looked back at Cook, giving him a quick nod, a nod that put an understanding between the two; they will never speak of that moment to anyone, ever! she disappeared amongst the drunken teenagers.
JJ stumbled into the room, clutching onto his frizzy hair. He looked for Cook, his blue polo covered in alcohol and sick, small tears were on his red face. Cook became alarmed as he saw his dear friend, muttering to himself, in deep distress.
"C-Cook... Fuck cook... Couldn't find Freddie... S-Some girl and her boyfriend spilt drinks on me... I-I want to leave... Fuck Fuck Fuck! So stupid" JJ "Locked on", slamming his hands onto his head.
"Jay, Jay, my man, don't worry, I'll take you home... Freddie's just being a fun sponge and has probably left, come on, let's go..." Cook ruffled JJ's hair, smiling at the younger boy, he took him by shoulder and guided him downstairs.
On their way out, Cook saw multiple people he could shout good-bye to, but didn't. As they were just about about to leave, he spotted Emily, Naomi and Katie in a tight huddled. Emily was shouting into Katie's ear, her face bright red, Katie's arms were crossed over her chest looking defensive, and Naomi was sighing trying to grab Emily's arm to calm her girlfriend down.
It hit Cook, that Katie could have just told them what just happened. Cook watched them as he passed, Katie looking back at him, her eyes slightly dead, as if she had become numb, from the inside-out. Which Cook couldn't understand. Emily spotted her sister wasn't paying attention to her anymore, so she followed her sister's gaze and saw Cook staring.
"What the fuck Cook? STOP STARING YOU TWAT!" Emily looked like she was ready to rip Cook apart, which as strange as it might sound, probably was true.
Katie just sighed, side stepping Emily, she walked out the way, Cook and JJ were heading. Naomi pulled Emily in a tight hug to calm her down, she looked at Cook over Emily's shoulder, giving him a questioning look. Cook just shrugged, trying his best look innocent. Once Cook and JJ were far enough away from the club (Katie was just about in sight) to not hear the music, JJ became a lot more talkative. It was a if his mind had only started to function again.
"Even though, my night was positively disastrous, I am eight five percent sure, that yours was most successful" JJ stated, a small smile on his face, his blue eyes lighting up.
"An' how's that?" Cook asked as they crossed the empty street, going West, as Katie kept on walking South, waking away out of sight. He shoved his hands into his trouser pockets, looking down at his shoes, suddenly something jabbed the sole of Cook's foot. He tensed, before removing his shoe and looking inside. And there it was, the pretty little blue butterfly hair clip that was in Katie's hair.
He took it out, holding it up against the moonlight, he saw it sparkle and glitter. The mixture of colours, a sea of blue, the waves of the sea of all seas; all suppressed together in a compact object; just inbetween his dirty fingers. Physically being so little, however, at the same time meaning so much. He became fixated on it, not wanting to look away, wanting to discipher it's purpose, it meaning for existence, it's reasoning to enter into his life and to cling onto him.
"Cook?" Cook was pulled back to reality, JJ stood a few feet away from him, looking at him with concern. Cook quickly shoved the clip into his pocket, and placed his shoe back on. JJ grinned at his friend as they continued walking the empty streets.
"You had sex"
It was simple comment, one that wouldn't be brought up in normal conversation, well, maybe one between teenager boys. This type of statement would normally bring pride to Cook, he would stick his chest out, swing his arms, walk in long strides, a large grin on his lips; as he would brag about the encounter, with the "hot babe" he just had sex with.
However, now wasn't normal. He may have had sex, but it wasn't with the normal random "hot babe", he would scout out of the herd of women, no, this was Katie... One of his extremely sexy female friends, who he always used to have a understanding to never fuck... However, it seemed things have changed.
"I bet she was rather beautiful, long legs, long shiny hair, pretty eyes and nice breasts... yes, she would have to have nice breasts... Ones that if you hold in the palm of your hand-"
"JJ, look we're at your house mate" Cook looked up at JJ's family home. It was a nice house, wasn't too big, wasn't that small, just right for an alright family. Because, that's all Jay's family was; alright. His parents were nice enough, you could speak to them (Well his mother) and feel welcome in their home. JJ was a only child- well you couldn't blame his parents for not having another kid, after JJ turned out the way he did- not that JJ wasn't good guy, it was just that he was a lot of work.
His parents did what they could, they were alright.
"Oh, yeah, Uhm, thanks Cook. Sorry for taking you away from the party, I must have been such a fun sponge-"
"Nah, you're alright Jay. I was about to leave anyway, couldn't be pissed with it all"
"Well, that's okay then... I'll see you tomorrow"
"See ya JJ" Cook pulled JJ into a tight hug, before letting the younger boy go into his own home and go to bed.
Cook exhaled, still keeping a firm hold of the clip, from inside his trouser pocket. He turned back the way he came, as he lived in the other direction from the club. He climbed up the steep hill, taking in the crisp air of the chilly Bristol night. The moon was hidden behind the clouds, making the only light available, was the ones provided from the artificial light of the lampposts. He made his way back to the nightclub, seeing Naomi and Emily standing in the cold, Naomi calling for a cab.
He smirked at the way Emily's hand snaked it's way, around Naomi's hip, clutching onto the thin material of Naomi's shirt, trying to gain some warmth. They were like a proper couple, it was sweet, but still a tad sickening. Cook crossed over a road, knowing he as near a bus stop. He jogged towards it, looking at the time table, cursing as it showed that the buses stopped running a couple of hours ago. He groaned at the fact he hadn't slept since Friday morning, it was now Sunday.
He quickly moved on finding a 24-hour corner shop, and a kebab shop, debating weather to get a kebab or not -for the fact that he knew, he would end up being sick, if he did- he ended up going into the corner shop. The shop seemed to be ran by a Indian guy, in his mid- forties, he was thin, had wrinkly skin and a long beard. He sitting down, bent over a magazine, he looked up at Cook and snarled.
Tosser, Cooked thought to himself as he went down the aisle, where the drinks were kept. He scanned the bottles, from soft to alcoholic, before deciding to buy a bottle of water. He didn't know why he bought it, he hated water, it was so tasteless, boring, not sweet or bitter, just nothing... But it did seem to take away his headache and the bile in the back of his throat.
The night seem empty, the only noises or thing you could see or hear were, car alarms, or car driving past, televisions within people's houses, cats hissing as they fought and dogs barking, hallowing into the night sky.
Cook sighed as he finally made it back to his student flat, by Roundview college. He fumbled with his keys before getting into the flat. It stank, the room was a tip, clothes everywhere, cigarettes, spliff, pills, empty vodka bottles scattered, it was horrible.
But he took no notice of it, as he removed his shirt and shoes, before collapsing onto his unmade bed, not bothering to cover himself up. He was so tired. Not just from walking the great amount he just did, but from everything.
Everything was going through his head, the last couple of hours, were just spinning out of control. Everything Katie had said about Effy, had stun, Effy kisses Freddie had stun, shagging Katie then getting rejected, ouch. None of this was good for his ego.
How is it fair that Effy can fuck around, break Freddie's fucking heart, and yours, and poor sodding JJ's, but still have you three, and every fucking guy in there drool all over her? How the fuck is that fair?
Katie's words echoed and drilled themselves into Cook's head.
"Fock off Kat'e" He mumbled into his cushion. He tossed and turned until they stopped. He rubbed his eyes, daytime was approaching, he felt too sick to sleep, but he was too tired to get and do something, so, he just laid there thinking out Effy, Freddie, JJ, Emily and Naomi, this wasn't a surprise, but who he was surprising thinking about was, Katie.
Soon he drifted into sleep, snoring until the morning. Dreaming, or re-living the night he just had, trying to make sense of it all, not knowing that, that night will change his life forever.
End of part 1.